#35 Stacey and the Mystery of Stoneybrook
Chapters 5-8 ready and waiting. I know I'm slow, but it's appropriate for this slow, slow book.
Chapter 5
Oh noes! Charlotte is dizzy and has a sore throat! But she isn’t hot, so Stacey figures she must be fine (good work, there’ll be a Babysitter of the Year award coming your way) and she’ll take her for a walk to see the old house. Remember that? Or are you still reeling from Stacey seeing Gary Rockman?
When they get there, the workmen are gone and the house is a mouldering cliché. It has a long wraparound porch, turrets, gables, balconies, vines grow up the walls and into the windows, overgrown gardens. All the cool bits, like the marble fireplace, antique radiators, clawfoot bathtubs and Victorian light fittings, have been taken out for preservation. It makes me angry that they’re tearing down such a kick-arse house. Charlotte wants to go inside and have a look (I would too) but Stacey is all, no Charlotte, it might fall down and you could get hurt. This from the babysitter who thinks a sore throat in an eight-year-old is simply a symptom of homesickness.
So they wander around, get all imaginative about pretending to be Rapunzel, and having secret trapdoors, when Stacey sees a face in one of the windows! Fortunately Charlotte hasn’t seen because she’s eagerly examining some of the architectural features (a girl after my own heart), but as soon as Stacey looks again, it’s gone. Then they hear a noise! It sounds like chains being dragged across the floor, which Stacey lamely puts down to plumbing. Perhaps the workmen who’d been taking out the fixtures had left some pipes to bang. Oh Scooby-Doo, where are you?
But wait, there’s more! As they walk round the house, feeling sad to see it looking so shabby with its broken windows, peeling paint, and hanging shutters, they spy something by the back door: “A gigantic, and I mean huge [way to use your thesaurus, Stacey] swarm of flies, just like in The Amityville Horror.” Which, apparently, is the scariest movie Stacey has ever seen. I haven’t seen it, but it sounds scary - though for 1979 it seems a little recent for BSC. For starters, it doesn’t star Lon Chaney.
But that’s not all, folks! As they walk round to get away from the flies, Stacey gritting her teeth and determined not to get freaked out, suddenly they hear a moan. Oh, this is so unimaginative, ghostwriter. (Heh.)
Back to Stacey’s house they run! But it’s okay, because as scared as they are, there’s a BSC meeting and Charlotte gets to come and it’s so exciting, and really, who’s scared of ghosts when you have the wrath of K-Ron?
Charlotte’s pretty cute here. She helps Stacey organise her Kid-Kit, then wants to carry it to the meeting (Stacey doesn’t have the heart to tell her they don’t normally take Kid-Kits). She then gets all shy at the meeting and when Claudia offers her Doritos, she “just started at Claud’s earrings”. I think that’s a typo, and Charlotte was actually staring at the earrings (one a stereo, one a record. That’s actually kind of cool).
Anyway, so they regale the babysitters with the tale of the scary house - but it’s okay, K-Ron makes sure the meeting starts on time - everyone gets nervous, Charlotte gets really scared, but then Kristy lets her answer the phone and everyone is happy again. Well, that was easy.
Chapter 6
Things go from bad to worse. Kristy is babysitting Karen and Andrew, and there’s a storm. (It’s taken me a while to bring myself to do this chapter). Boo-Boo is going to have a spell put on him, according to Karen, and Kristy, already freaked out by Stacey’s old house, is actually giving the little brat dear the satisfaction of letting her scare everyone. Kristy makes popcorn, lets them play the Name Game, regrets it, Karen talks more about Ben Brewer, and a convenient thunderclap makes them all jump. It’s just another evening in the Thomas-Brewer household.
Kristy puts them to bed once the storm’s abated, then does what any babysitter would do in a large house that she’s all alone in, and goes into the library to look at some old books Watson’s bought. She looks through them, hoping to find some information about the old house, and finds nothing, until - what do we have here? - a crumbling hand-drawn map falls out of one! And gosh, Stoneybrook was built on ancient burial grounds! And on the most sacred spot of all? Why, it's The Haunted Mansion!
She has the feeling then that she’s being watched, and it’s her brothers. Chapter ends on an anti-climax.
Chapter 7
Stacey is woken up from a dream in which Gary Rockman is begging her to come to him. Make of that what you will. Charlotte is sick! Bet you didn’t see that coming. She’s burning up and has a fever, so they take her to Dr Dellenkamp (they must be glad that Dr Johanssen isn’t the only doctor in town), Stacey reads a little kids’ book in the waiting room and is embarrassed because there’s a hot guy who sees her reading a kids’ book. If that makes her hang her head in shame in front of a guy, she’ll have fun when she has to discuss birth control and optimal ways to *please* her.
Anyway, Charlotte has tonsillitis, and doesn’t want to take her medicine. But Stacey’s number one character trait comes in handy, because she uses it to guilt Charlotte into taking it! Look at me, I have to prick my finger and inject myself every day for the rest of my life, so sick and homesick little girl, you cannot complain about taking yucky medicine! It’s also a cunning way to explain to new readers how diabetes works. This chapter is very boring.
Chapter 8
You’ll all be relieved to know that Charlotte survives and is feeling better. It’s Sunday, so they have pancakes for breakfast and Stacey has blueberry ones, which is great because they’re naturally sweet so don’t need syrup…wouldn’t that make them really dry? And blecch to blueberries anyway.
What to do? Why, get Kristy round with that map, of course! They have a look at the map, hope they have a mystery to solve, decide to keep a lookout for clues, and I’m really struggling to find anything else to talk about in this chapter. For some reason they try to phone Mallory because she also likes mysteries, but she’s at a Teddy Bears’ Picnic with Claire and Margo, where she makes little sandwiches and tea, and dresses up teddy bears in special outfits. Stacey thinks this sounds like fun. Why am I thinking of this?
Chapter 5
Oh noes! Charlotte is dizzy and has a sore throat! But she isn’t hot, so Stacey figures she must be fine (good work, there’ll be a Babysitter of the Year award coming your way) and she’ll take her for a walk to see the old house. Remember that? Or are you still reeling from Stacey seeing Gary Rockman?
When they get there, the workmen are gone and the house is a mouldering cliché. It has a long wraparound porch, turrets, gables, balconies, vines grow up the walls and into the windows, overgrown gardens. All the cool bits, like the marble fireplace, antique radiators, clawfoot bathtubs and Victorian light fittings, have been taken out for preservation. It makes me angry that they’re tearing down such a kick-arse house. Charlotte wants to go inside and have a look (I would too) but Stacey is all, no Charlotte, it might fall down and you could get hurt. This from the babysitter who thinks a sore throat in an eight-year-old is simply a symptom of homesickness.
So they wander around, get all imaginative about pretending to be Rapunzel, and having secret trapdoors, when Stacey sees a face in one of the windows! Fortunately Charlotte hasn’t seen because she’s eagerly examining some of the architectural features (a girl after my own heart), but as soon as Stacey looks again, it’s gone. Then they hear a noise! It sounds like chains being dragged across the floor, which Stacey lamely puts down to plumbing. Perhaps the workmen who’d been taking out the fixtures had left some pipes to bang. Oh Scooby-Doo, where are you?
But wait, there’s more! As they walk round the house, feeling sad to see it looking so shabby with its broken windows, peeling paint, and hanging shutters, they spy something by the back door: “A gigantic, and I mean huge [way to use your thesaurus, Stacey] swarm of flies, just like in The Amityville Horror.” Which, apparently, is the scariest movie Stacey has ever seen. I haven’t seen it, but it sounds scary - though for 1979 it seems a little recent for BSC. For starters, it doesn’t star Lon Chaney.
But that’s not all, folks! As they walk round to get away from the flies, Stacey gritting her teeth and determined not to get freaked out, suddenly they hear a moan. Oh, this is so unimaginative, ghostwriter. (Heh.)
Back to Stacey’s house they run! But it’s okay, because as scared as they are, there’s a BSC meeting and Charlotte gets to come and it’s so exciting, and really, who’s scared of ghosts when you have the wrath of K-Ron?
Charlotte’s pretty cute here. She helps Stacey organise her Kid-Kit, then wants to carry it to the meeting (Stacey doesn’t have the heart to tell her they don’t normally take Kid-Kits). She then gets all shy at the meeting and when Claudia offers her Doritos, she “just started at Claud’s earrings”. I think that’s a typo, and Charlotte was actually staring at the earrings (one a stereo, one a record. That’s actually kind of cool).
Anyway, so they regale the babysitters with the tale of the scary house - but it’s okay, K-Ron makes sure the meeting starts on time - everyone gets nervous, Charlotte gets really scared, but then Kristy lets her answer the phone and everyone is happy again. Well, that was easy.
Chapter 6
Things go from bad to worse. Kristy is babysitting Karen and Andrew, and there’s a storm. (It’s taken me a while to bring myself to do this chapter). Boo-Boo is going to have a spell put on him, according to Karen, and Kristy, already freaked out by Stacey’s old house, is actually giving the little brat dear the satisfaction of letting her scare everyone. Kristy makes popcorn, lets them play the Name Game, regrets it, Karen talks more about Ben Brewer, and a convenient thunderclap makes them all jump. It’s just another evening in the Thomas-Brewer household.
Kristy puts them to bed once the storm’s abated, then does what any babysitter would do in a large house that she’s all alone in, and goes into the library to look at some old books Watson’s bought. She looks through them, hoping to find some information about the old house, and finds nothing, until - what do we have here? - a crumbling hand-drawn map falls out of one! And gosh, Stoneybrook was built on ancient burial grounds! And on the most sacred spot of all? Why, it's The Haunted Mansion!
She has the feeling then that she’s being watched, and it’s her brothers. Chapter ends on an anti-climax.
Chapter 7
Stacey is woken up from a dream in which Gary Rockman is begging her to come to him. Make of that what you will. Charlotte is sick! Bet you didn’t see that coming. She’s burning up and has a fever, so they take her to Dr Dellenkamp (they must be glad that Dr Johanssen isn’t the only doctor in town), Stacey reads a little kids’ book in the waiting room and is embarrassed because there’s a hot guy who sees her reading a kids’ book. If that makes her hang her head in shame in front of a guy, she’ll have fun when she has to discuss birth control and optimal ways to *please* her.
Anyway, Charlotte has tonsillitis, and doesn’t want to take her medicine. But Stacey’s number one character trait comes in handy, because she uses it to guilt Charlotte into taking it! Look at me, I have to prick my finger and inject myself every day for the rest of my life, so sick and homesick little girl, you cannot complain about taking yucky medicine! It’s also a cunning way to explain to new readers how diabetes works. This chapter is very boring.
Chapter 8
You’ll all be relieved to know that Charlotte survives and is feeling better. It’s Sunday, so they have pancakes for breakfast and Stacey has blueberry ones, which is great because they’re naturally sweet so don’t need syrup…wouldn’t that make them really dry? And blecch to blueberries anyway.
What to do? Why, get Kristy round with that map, of course! They have a look at the map, hope they have a mystery to solve, decide to keep a lookout for clues, and I’m really struggling to find anything else to talk about in this chapter. For some reason they try to phone Mallory because she also likes mysteries, but she’s at a Teddy Bears’ Picnic with Claire and Margo, where she makes little sandwiches and tea, and dresses up teddy bears in special outfits. Stacey thinks this sounds like fun. Why am I thinking of this?