I feel too disconnected. Too much dissociation. Definitely not enough emotion. This bizarre illogical crying phenomenon... I dislike it intensely. It should not be happening. I must have control over my physiological functions during reactions to situations that would see crying, a symptom of emotion, as inappropriate and highly irrational. One ( Read more... )

Holy random acts of kindness, Batman ( Read more... )

My modified Disablility Compensated Qi Gong exercises always help, mentally and spiritually and psychologically and physiologically. Like yoga, except Fake Yoga Cripple Style that is not actually yoga. (FYCS. FIX. Ha ha ha...) (Or hey, Fake Yoga Cripple Style Modified Exercise. FYCSME = FIX ME. Ha ha. Wow. Dude ( Read more... )

I am starting to officially read "World War Z" by Max Brooks. I don't know if I can. I'm not joking. I may need Klonopin. I'll have to skim and speed-read ( Read more... )

You know, sometimes you write something so bizarre and wild that you need to copy-paste it just to see how people would react ( Read more... )

Damn it, I really must learn to stop being afraid for no real reason, to not be afraid in general just because some tiny things may or may not be upsetting in the future ( Read more... )

I have learned this: I am good at pretending to be "normal" while my inner self cries out in fear and terror and anxiety and self-loathing, curling up against the rockiness of my scarred brain, shivering with open wounds from various hard scoldings that take the psychic form of beatings. I admit, I am a child in so many ways. I still do not know ( Read more... )

Well, I was recently accused of medicalizing myself. You know, putting every behavior and personal decision on my disabilities. And all I could do was shut my eyes, pinch the bridge of my nose, and say, "Sure. Okay." Because oh gods, I was not having that argument again. Sure. Fine. I medicalize myself. There. Are we done ( Read more... )

I don't think I want to leave my house without psychic witchcraft protection all week, because within the next few days there will be scary things everywhere, and I don't give a fuck how plastic and fake they are, I still hate them. And I will bring a pillow to press against my face and I will threaten to beat anyone with my best cane if they try ( Read more... )

Well, fuck ( Read more... )