Let's talk about love
So I am currently taking this course called "Affect, Ideology and the Media." I find affect studies fascinating and I love it, but it's also new to me and thus confusing. (Affect being, roughly and not uncontroversially, emotion). I am also a little discouraged by the overwhelming focus in academia on negative emotions (fear, paranoia, shame, anger, melancholy). Even when people do theorize about pleasure they tend to dismiss it as false consciousness, or as ridiculous obsession or as hopelessly naive (and as I'm studying representations of fandom I can tell you this problem is very relevant to our interests).
I think it's worth thinking and talking about the things that making us feel good, and not just so we can criticize or dismiss them.
On that note, let's talk about falling in love with people on TV (or books, movies, whatever). And let's take it seriously for a second, and, importantly, not be ashamed of it.
Who was the first character/media person you fell in love with? When did it happen? What did it feel like? Has it happened the same way since? Did you tell anyone else about it? How did they react?
I love a lot of people and a lot of characters. More importantly, for me, I love the relationships, either material or imagined, they allow me to create with fellow fans. Fandom love is about this odd combination of community, connection, creativity, excitement and the sense of getting caught up in something larger than myself which is quite freeing. Fandom love is also about how hot people are, and how cute they can be, and how they are immensely talented. It's also about other stuff, but this is how I feel today. But I'm talking about a different kind of love.
One time a few years ago, I actually fell in love with Johnny Depp. I was watching him do some interview on late night TV (which I never watch) and I was suddenly filled with this really, really intense longing. I mean it was physically painful, a stabbing in my chest. This wasn't about his looks or his talent or the fact that Jack Sparrow is epitome of cool - I really felt that this was actually about him. I sat in front of my TV and I wanted to cry because I knew I could never be near him and this felt like a great injustice in the world from which I could never recover. It was more than a crush, it was fucking unrequited love, and until recently I'd never felt anything like it.
That said, it was an unrequited love I got over. The pain dulled after a few weeks and I can now watch Johnny Depp onscreen completely pain-free. But I don't think that means it wasn't real - thankfully people get over unrequited love all the time. I was never crazy, was never dangerous, was not a stalker, did not have any delusions that we would actually be together. I was not drunk, or high, or mentally unstable at the time. I fell in love with him. I have a crappy memory but this moment remains incredibly vivid for me.
It springs to mind now because it's happening again, with Misha Collins. It's a pleasure/pain thing and I actually think it's kind of cool (mostly because I'm fairly confident I'll get over it and just go back to ordinary fan love soon).
So - Has this or something like it happened to anyone else? Am I insane? Have I scared all my new friends away?
Spread it around to other people you know if you think they might be interested. I think it could be a neat conversation.
I think it's worth thinking and talking about the things that making us feel good, and not just so we can criticize or dismiss them.
On that note, let's talk about falling in love with people on TV (or books, movies, whatever). And let's take it seriously for a second, and, importantly, not be ashamed of it.
Who was the first character/media person you fell in love with? When did it happen? What did it feel like? Has it happened the same way since? Did you tell anyone else about it? How did they react?
I love a lot of people and a lot of characters. More importantly, for me, I love the relationships, either material or imagined, they allow me to create with fellow fans. Fandom love is about this odd combination of community, connection, creativity, excitement and the sense of getting caught up in something larger than myself which is quite freeing. Fandom love is also about how hot people are, and how cute they can be, and how they are immensely talented. It's also about other stuff, but this is how I feel today. But I'm talking about a different kind of love.
One time a few years ago, I actually fell in love with Johnny Depp. I was watching him do some interview on late night TV (which I never watch) and I was suddenly filled with this really, really intense longing. I mean it was physically painful, a stabbing in my chest. This wasn't about his looks or his talent or the fact that Jack Sparrow is epitome of cool - I really felt that this was actually about him. I sat in front of my TV and I wanted to cry because I knew I could never be near him and this felt like a great injustice in the world from which I could never recover. It was more than a crush, it was fucking unrequited love, and until recently I'd never felt anything like it.
That said, it was an unrequited love I got over. The pain dulled after a few weeks and I can now watch Johnny Depp onscreen completely pain-free. But I don't think that means it wasn't real - thankfully people get over unrequited love all the time. I was never crazy, was never dangerous, was not a stalker, did not have any delusions that we would actually be together. I was not drunk, or high, or mentally unstable at the time. I fell in love with him. I have a crappy memory but this moment remains incredibly vivid for me.
It springs to mind now because it's happening again, with Misha Collins. It's a pleasure/pain thing and I actually think it's kind of cool (mostly because I'm fairly confident I'll get over it and just go back to ordinary fan love soon).
So - Has this or something like it happened to anyone else? Am I insane? Have I scared all my new friends away?
Spread it around to other people you know if you think they might be interested. I think it could be a neat conversation.