Dreaming
I had this horrible nightmare that, when I tried to describe it to someone, didn't sound like a nightmare at all.
For some reason I had decided to go back to college. It wasn't really Western, but Roommate was there, and one of my coworkers from the bakery for some reason. It was move-in weekend and the campus was packed with students and parents. I left the dorm (which I apparently shared with Roommate, this coworker and like a million other people) trying to get away from people, have some time alone. I was confused and conflicted and I kept thinking, "Why did I leave Philip to come back here?" Not that we'd broken up, but I was here and he was still in Charlotte, so, so far away. I was lonely and scared and just wanted to find someplace quiet where I could sob in peace!!
There was nowhere. Everywhere I went was either off limits (so I was caught and made to leave) or full of people, all middle-aged parent-types. I was so on edge, felt so trapped and all I wanted was to be back home and for Philip to hug me. I was terrified that I'd made this huge mistake coming back but it was too late to change my mind.
My phone beeped, indicating a text message, which caused me to jerk awake. I lay there for a few seconds, hardly daring to believe I'd escaped, that it wasn't reality after all. Oh my god, I was so relieved to be in my own bed, safe in my imperfect but relatively comfortable life.
I don't know what it all means, but I definitely feel more appreciative of the life I have now.
For some reason I had decided to go back to college. It wasn't really Western, but Roommate was there, and one of my coworkers from the bakery for some reason. It was move-in weekend and the campus was packed with students and parents. I left the dorm (which I apparently shared with Roommate, this coworker and like a million other people) trying to get away from people, have some time alone. I was confused and conflicted and I kept thinking, "Why did I leave Philip to come back here?" Not that we'd broken up, but I was here and he was still in Charlotte, so, so far away. I was lonely and scared and just wanted to find someplace quiet where I could sob in peace!!
There was nowhere. Everywhere I went was either off limits (so I was caught and made to leave) or full of people, all middle-aged parent-types. I was so on edge, felt so trapped and all I wanted was to be back home and for Philip to hug me. I was terrified that I'd made this huge mistake coming back but it was too late to change my mind.
My phone beeped, indicating a text message, which caused me to jerk awake. I lay there for a few seconds, hardly daring to believe I'd escaped, that it wasn't reality after all. Oh my god, I was so relieved to be in my own bed, safe in my imperfect but relatively comfortable life.
I don't know what it all means, but I definitely feel more appreciative of the life I have now.