Another year, another season of toxic family.  Always about them and their perceived downfalls and failures.  The alcoholism doesn' help.

My refuge?  The casino for a nice buffet, shining lights and excitement.  Fortunately a few friends to hang with as I drift away into a good game of cards and some excitement from the reels of the slots.

I'll be ( Read more... )

Actual question for my companies online  sexual harassment training class:

"My manager Felicia says that a bottle of wine and a night out would increase my chances of a promotion.  What should i do?"

Sadly Felicia is not one of the answers.

I'm back in Buffalo for the first time since February 2015 for a concert with good friends and family.

Its so quiet.  I'm at a hotel bar downtown waiting for the violent depression and anxiety that clouded me to get off the Kensington and make a turn onto East Chippewa.

But I saw Tanya.  She's in remission and gave me the biggest hug I've had in ( Read more... )

It's not wrong to say no to the holidays.  I don't want to celebrate it, i don't want to deal with my neurotic family, and I am not faking happiness for the sake of the "season".

Christmas died for me as a kid. I was a product of three divorces before my 13th birthday. I wasn't a child, I was financial leverage and bartered as such between two ( Read more... )

Every so often I have that dream.  Same person, same face.  It slowly ages as I do and always brings me peace in sleep but tortures the fuck out of me when awake.

Always in places of safety and comfort.  I'm currently in Cork, Ireland but last night I was in Galway a city I always wish I could make a second home.

The time prior to that was in Fair ( Read more... )

I just read up on all my past posts for the last hour or so.  A few thoughts.

1. I needed professional help.  I saw more cries for help than a bunch of teenagers without WiFi.  How I managed that maze of depression is beyond me.

2. The drama I created was an obvious cry for attention.  And I certainly do not deserve any awards aside form a good smack ( Read more... )

I keep forgetting I have this thing. How oblivious am I? I have the goddamned app on my phone smh....

Ok so time for something funny.

I have been to some dive bars and dumps in my life but if you ever find yourself at Patricks in Malden, MA do youself a favor and RUN.

It smelled like an old folks home and Milli Vanilli was on the jukebox.

Oh god... I can't get the smell out of my nose...

I can honestly say, after the move from Florida to Boston, I am happy.  It feels so good to say that.

Why, why whhhhhhy WHY is it always the same type?    New face, same insecurities.

However this time I have the experience to just walk away.

This whiskey helps dull the memories.