Co-worker (whispering): SeaBiscuit after this will you go change your pants because i think you had an accident
SeaBiscuit: i didn't
Co-worker: well you smell like urine
SeaBiscuit: no i smell good
he skoots away.

Cappy: I hear we are having a singer come in to sing to us
Co-worker: yup his name is Herb - it should be good!
Cappy: oh - well we should have gotten the Spice Girls
Co-worker: they are pretty busy, i don't think that they would have come if we had asked them
Cappy: pity, because then we would have had herbs and spice

Forgetful's sister on the phone: ummm so i was talking to my sister on the phone and she told me that she cut the cord to her television - would you do me a favour and check to see if it is true and call me back?
So off we go to forgetful's room and sure enough - the cord is cut
Forgetful standing in the doorway: yes i cut it. i don't use it and now ( Read more... )

Carney: Someone really has to go have a look at that elevator - it's broken!
Me: What is wrong with it?
Carney: The voice activation software isn't working properly and so i got stuck in there
Me: We don't have voice activation software - you have to push the buttons
Carney: YES WE DO have voice activation software, it just isn't working and so that ( Read more... )

Co-worker: Rascal did you throw up in the elevator?
Rascal: No, but after these 25 years with my digestive system problems i just couldn't hold it any longer and i shit in the elevator.
Co-worker: You shit in the elevator?
Rascal: Yes, it is hard work being a security guard
Co-worker: Did you change your clothes?
Rascal: No
Co-worker: Then did you ( Read more... )

Teddyboy : I'll push your cart for you - but you carry your pepsi because you have a cold sore
Co-worker: She doesn't have a cold sore - what are you talking about? Look at her
Teddyboy: well i don't know where she has one, but she has one! (after hearing me talking to Chris about how i wondered if i was getting a cold sore but that i've never had ( Read more... )

Today was a LONG day at work. I believe it was a combination of factors that make it feel so long - mostly due to the fact that I hate day shifts (they start at 7am and I'm not a morning person). Of course i heard some interesting things...

Carney sitting in the lounge with a pound of butter on his lap: oh I'm not going to eat it - its a support. A ( Read more... )

I work in a post psychiatric residence as both a health care aid and recreational therapist - i can honestly say that i am a person that  loves my job. Most of the people i deal with either are schizophrenic, have had a major head injury, are bipolar, or developmentally delayed. That being said... i see and hear a lot of very interesting things on ( Read more... )