Things heard at work (part 10)
Forgetful's sister on the phone: ummm so i was talking to my sister on the phone and she told me that she cut the cord to her television - would you do me a favour and check to see if it is true and call me back?
So off we go to forgetful's room and sure enough - the cord is cut
Forgetful standing in the doorway: yes i cut it. i don't use it and now she is mad at me but i don't care. its not my fault.
Me: why did you cut the cord?
Forgetful: because i felt like it!
Me: do you still have it? (as co-workers start to look for it)
Forgetful: DONT TOUCH MY PURSE! (and she runs to her closet and opens it - there is nothing in it but her laundry hamper and her coat)
Me: sweetie did you unplug the television before you cut the cord?
Forgetful: of course! what do you think i am? Stupid?
to make matters even more hilarious - she showed me the scissors... and they are those ones you give to preschoolers that can't even really cut paper well... so God only knows how she cut the damn wire!
***
Gramps: Do you think that i should spend what is left of my income tax money on cigarettes instead of beer?
Me: YES! Gramps when you drink you fall in the river and one day you aren't going to come out. I would MUCH rather you spend it on cigarettes because they don't make you fall in the river
Gramps: It was 2 weeks ago that the paramedic brought me home
Me: no it wasn't - that was last week
Gramps: no, it was two weeks ago - i remember because i had this big pitcher at the restaurant that was 5 beer - that is a lot of beer. and then i stood up and couldn't stand. So i fell down.
***
Me: ready to go to see your mom for the weekend?
007: SHE is NOT my mother - she is a casual acquaintance.
Me: i'm sorry - are you all ready to go see your casual acquaintance for the weekend?
007: yes i am. I call her momsie.
***
Me: Wolf what are you doing?
Wolf: I was doing push-ups. I felt like i was losing emotional control and so i chose to do push-ups
Me: That is a great idea! Usually you yell and scream and make a big fuss - you should do that again!
Wolf: Yeah - it's hard because i was born with all of my chakra's open. And because all of my chakras are open - Chrissie do you know anything about chakras?
Me: yup
Wolf: okay good - so you know that it is bad that they are all open because it is imbalanced. (that isn't true... it is good for them to be open) Anyways i am like an energy vampire and that is why i loose control.
Me: okay - well keep it up with the push ups!
So off we go to forgetful's room and sure enough - the cord is cut
Forgetful standing in the doorway: yes i cut it. i don't use it and now she is mad at me but i don't care. its not my fault.
Me: why did you cut the cord?
Forgetful: because i felt like it!
Me: do you still have it? (as co-workers start to look for it)
Forgetful: DONT TOUCH MY PURSE! (and she runs to her closet and opens it - there is nothing in it but her laundry hamper and her coat)
Me: sweetie did you unplug the television before you cut the cord?
Forgetful: of course! what do you think i am? Stupid?
to make matters even more hilarious - she showed me the scissors... and they are those ones you give to preschoolers that can't even really cut paper well... so God only knows how she cut the damn wire!
***
Gramps: Do you think that i should spend what is left of my income tax money on cigarettes instead of beer?
Me: YES! Gramps when you drink you fall in the river and one day you aren't going to come out. I would MUCH rather you spend it on cigarettes because they don't make you fall in the river
Gramps: It was 2 weeks ago that the paramedic brought me home
Me: no it wasn't - that was last week
Gramps: no, it was two weeks ago - i remember because i had this big pitcher at the restaurant that was 5 beer - that is a lot of beer. and then i stood up and couldn't stand. So i fell down.
***
Me: ready to go to see your mom for the weekend?
007: SHE is NOT my mother - she is a casual acquaintance.
Me: i'm sorry - are you all ready to go see your casual acquaintance for the weekend?
007: yes i am. I call her momsie.
***
Me: Wolf what are you doing?
Wolf: I was doing push-ups. I felt like i was losing emotional control and so i chose to do push-ups
Me: That is a great idea! Usually you yell and scream and make a big fuss - you should do that again!
Wolf: Yeah - it's hard because i was born with all of my chakra's open. And because all of my chakras are open - Chrissie do you know anything about chakras?
Me: yup
Wolf: okay good - so you know that it is bad that they are all open because it is imbalanced. (that isn't true... it is good for them to be open) Anyways i am like an energy vampire and that is why i loose control.
Me: okay - well keep it up with the push ups!