It's often hard to remember when you are feeling bad that things do get better. It's my biggest problem... remembering that the sadness I feel will eventually go away. It's normal to feel that way. It's normal to feel sad at the lost of a relationship. I wish I could offer more.
I don't know if I would say it's normal, but definitely typical with BPD. Do you have a psychiatrist or therapist you can talk to? They could probably help you with an action plan and/or medications to try.
I'm sorry about your boyfriend. I have thought about "setting my boyfriend free" from all my mood swings, too. It is very depressing that that is part of the decision process. I hope you feel better soon.
Suicidal ideation is simply thinking of suicide and planning it out (whether you're going to do it or not), so I would comfortably say that's what you're experiencing. I third the idea of talking to your therapist/psych, because there could be some med(s) that might help with how you're feeling right now
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I'm sorry about your boyfriend. I have thought about "setting my boyfriend free" from all my mood swings, too. It is very depressing that that is part of the decision process. I hope you feel better soon.
*hugs*
Hang in there.
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