Desperately Seeking Dopamine
Mother's Day was fine. My sister was her usual self, blaming the failures of her life on the fact our parents didn't take us on vacation as kids. As well as bitching that all her rich, snob friends growing up had more money than we did. She's so utterly selfish and self-involved.
She also carried on several times about the fact she had to have her old, OLD dog put down last week. The Sparrow and I were actually cracking some tasteless yet hilarious jokes about it. One involved her taking her two remaining dogs to some photoshoot she was gifted last week as well. Which, I will hold off on my usual tangent about how ridiculous and insane dog owners are. But, we suggested she should have gotten the ashes from her now deceased dog and done a photo reenactment of famous historical events and done the 9/11 "soot lady" photo with her dog's ashes dumped on her. I am cracking up just typing this.
She's already just this brainless normie constantly posting on Facebook for attention. Add to it a dog death and she's just clamoring for clicks. It's disgusting. She asked us if we wanted to see the little slideshow video she made for the dog, which prompted me to ask if she posted it on Facebook, which she did. And then we mocked her for seeking clicks for her dead dog.
She then showed us this post from this guy we grew up with on our old block. The guy is at least in his mid to late 50s now and he's posting a pic of himself as a teenager with his dad... who was ancient even back then... saying "It's been 30 years since he left us"... it's so fucking pathetic. I made a huge mockery of it, knowing my sister had done the same thing the past few years when my dad's birthday and death day came around. She was gleeful at his funeral, but any chance for losers on social media to get "likes" they'll post anything and take advantage of any death.
My mom had a whole laundry list of things she needed help with when we got there. I am quite sure she's lost and depressed at home alone with all these things with the house falling apart, since my dad took care of all of it even when he was sick. I feel for her, but she's got the money where she should be calling for professionals for some of this stuff. Mind you, I can change a lightbulb or cut a tree limb. But, she's had electrical issues, drywall issues... stuff like that and I can only tell her so many times to just call someone.
The doors of her back shed have been falling apart since my dad was still alive. It shouldn't be a difficult fix, but it's just not ever happened. We have so much shit with our own house that never gets done, and I feel bad, but I just don't ever make time to do this moderate construction project for her. It's frustrating. I'd like to help, but we are still getting our life going here and our list of projects for ourselves is growing by the day. Does that make me selfish? Do I owe my mother more time than I give to our own home? I am sure my dad would say YES, that I do owe her more.
And it brings up all these conflicted feelings about how, even now, I feel the tentacles of my parents still trying to pull me under. That sounds nefarious, and most of the time I don't think there was ever malice in what they were doing. But, they never just let me be an adult and grow up.
We actually got into a conversation in front of my sister concerning the Sparrow's 40-year-old brother and how he still gets their mom to give him money because he's an irresponsible P.O.S. My sister, of course, in her selfishness suggested that it was his mother's "duty" to help him out. And the Sparrow and I both tried has hard as we could to shame the fuck out of her for making such a suggestion.
The conversation also went on a tangent about the Sparrow's uncle trying to weasel his mom out of ten grand from their mother's estate who died last year. The uncle seeming to think he can drag out repayment of the money now that their mom is dead and still get his 1/4 cut of the estate when all the finances are squared away. I could tell the Sparrow had intentionally brought this topic up in front of my sister because he and I had earlier had a convo about her and my mom's estate and what a nightmare it's going to be dealing with that, and my sister, when my mom passes. We are already convinced my sister will be dipping into her bank accounts before they even have the bodybag zipped.
I just kept saying his mom needs to ride his uncle's ass for every dime. And that if he doesn't pay his due or demands the 1/4 of the estate when still owing money, she needs to lawyer up. All of which to let my sister know that I won't sit by idly if she thinks she's going to rob our mother's corpse. I don't give a fuck about blood and family. She's an entitled bitch, and I'd cut her off faster than she can blink if she thinks she's owed something more than what my parents decided in their will. I don't give a shit about money, it's the principle of the thing.
I am clearly a bit fired up about the whole thing still. I just never cease being shocked by how entitled she is, and the kinds of things she says right in front of and TO our mother. I even called her out, since she is a therapist, about parents who enable their adult children by giving them money constantly to resolve their irresponsibility. My sister, who like everyone who went to college thinks their degree has any meaning, tried to bullshit me that "psychology can be looked at in many ways, it's variable" and then went on to suggest a parent constantly rescuing their irresponsible offspring was a good thing. She should know, her new house she couldn't afford is surrounded by a new $20,000 fence my mom bought for her.
On a less than negative note, after we first got there we were in the garage and I heard the very distinct singing of a house wren outside. We went out there and discovered there was one nesting inside this tiny, decorative birdhouse my mom had in her crabapple tree. Now, when I lived out there, I never recall hearing or seeing a house wren, or any wren, ever. The song is very recognizable. Because we have had one nesting outside our sunroom here since the day we moved in, I know it well.
We had to run to the store to get oil for her mower to fix an issue with that, so we swung through the local nursery and got her two more wren houses since they like to build nests in multiple houses at once. We even picked up a modern looking one for ourselves that was cheap. I am curious if wrens have always been in that area or if they are moving in more recently. I was an avid bird feeder when I lived down the road and never saw half the species I see everyday at our current home. But, a few months back at my mom's I saw a white-breasted nuthatch, which I'd never seen before moving here. I wondered if it was coming to her yard because I'd bought her a bag of better, specialty seed as a gift and that attracted him. She usually buys the cheap, garbage seed that really only seems to attract house sparrows.
All that to say, it was an exciting thing for us to see this little wren there. Now that he has more options for living quarters he should return next year.
I have to take Bosco back for his final vet check-up at lunchtime today. I am not looking forward to it. Every time we go through this he gets more traumatized. As it is, I've hardly spent any time out in the garage with him the past few weeks. I basically pop in and out with food and to check up occasionally. But, other than that I leave Neelix out there with him a lot just so he has company. Needless to say, he hasn't gotten much more comfortable being around humans yet and dragging him back to the vet is not going to help.
He still seems to be exhibiting signs of being in heat and spraying also. Half the problems would be solved if he'd just stop that behavior. Then he could just come in the house and acclimate to us over time, in here. I think it's only been 3 weeks since he was fixed, which means 3 more weeks before we could even consider letting him inside. According to the info out there, next week is likely the earliest we'll start to see hormones dropping and his behavior calming down.
I have to connect to the user who called me Saturday after that, to try fixing his printer issue. We'll just start calling this guy Shylock. My issue is that he's not going to just leave me be to work on it remotely. He's so paranoid he thinks I'll be looking through his emails and documents if he leaves me unattended. As if I fucking care. With him watching, it adds an unnecessarily level of stress. But, he also can't just watch, he needs to constantly text and add commentary and distraction.
I should write about the issue the Meat Packer has been having for almost a year that I will need to try again tomorrow to find a fix for. Maybe if I write it all out I can piece together a pattern. It just seems like everyone's issues lately have to be these beta-tester, mysterious, zero info about them anywhere on the Internet, issues.
We ordered our membership for the arboretum we went to Saturday as well as placed an order for their native plant sale that's happening this weekend. I feel very good about it. We have an area at the bottom of the hill right along the slough we've wanted to start converting from grass to native plantings since the day we moved in. These plants will help to really move forward on that since the seeds I've cast down there haven't done much in over a year.
And because we've gone so bird crazy since this past weekend, we want to start figuring out where we can place nest boxes to attract some of the species we saw on Saturday. So many plans, will anything get done?
I was off for seven days last week. Doesn't feel like it. I need a vacation even more than I did before.
She also carried on several times about the fact she had to have her old, OLD dog put down last week. The Sparrow and I were actually cracking some tasteless yet hilarious jokes about it. One involved her taking her two remaining dogs to some photoshoot she was gifted last week as well. Which, I will hold off on my usual tangent about how ridiculous and insane dog owners are. But, we suggested she should have gotten the ashes from her now deceased dog and done a photo reenactment of famous historical events and done the 9/11 "soot lady" photo with her dog's ashes dumped on her. I am cracking up just typing this.
She's already just this brainless normie constantly posting on Facebook for attention. Add to it a dog death and she's just clamoring for clicks. It's disgusting. She asked us if we wanted to see the little slideshow video she made for the dog, which prompted me to ask if she posted it on Facebook, which she did. And then we mocked her for seeking clicks for her dead dog.
She then showed us this post from this guy we grew up with on our old block. The guy is at least in his mid to late 50s now and he's posting a pic of himself as a teenager with his dad... who was ancient even back then... saying "It's been 30 years since he left us"... it's so fucking pathetic. I made a huge mockery of it, knowing my sister had done the same thing the past few years when my dad's birthday and death day came around. She was gleeful at his funeral, but any chance for losers on social media to get "likes" they'll post anything and take advantage of any death.
My mom had a whole laundry list of things she needed help with when we got there. I am quite sure she's lost and depressed at home alone with all these things with the house falling apart, since my dad took care of all of it even when he was sick. I feel for her, but she's got the money where she should be calling for professionals for some of this stuff. Mind you, I can change a lightbulb or cut a tree limb. But, she's had electrical issues, drywall issues... stuff like that and I can only tell her so many times to just call someone.
The doors of her back shed have been falling apart since my dad was still alive. It shouldn't be a difficult fix, but it's just not ever happened. We have so much shit with our own house that never gets done, and I feel bad, but I just don't ever make time to do this moderate construction project for her. It's frustrating. I'd like to help, but we are still getting our life going here and our list of projects for ourselves is growing by the day. Does that make me selfish? Do I owe my mother more time than I give to our own home? I am sure my dad would say YES, that I do owe her more.
And it brings up all these conflicted feelings about how, even now, I feel the tentacles of my parents still trying to pull me under. That sounds nefarious, and most of the time I don't think there was ever malice in what they were doing. But, they never just let me be an adult and grow up.
We actually got into a conversation in front of my sister concerning the Sparrow's 40-year-old brother and how he still gets their mom to give him money because he's an irresponsible P.O.S. My sister, of course, in her selfishness suggested that it was his mother's "duty" to help him out. And the Sparrow and I both tried has hard as we could to shame the fuck out of her for making such a suggestion.
The conversation also went on a tangent about the Sparrow's uncle trying to weasel his mom out of ten grand from their mother's estate who died last year. The uncle seeming to think he can drag out repayment of the money now that their mom is dead and still get his 1/4 cut of the estate when all the finances are squared away. I could tell the Sparrow had intentionally brought this topic up in front of my sister because he and I had earlier had a convo about her and my mom's estate and what a nightmare it's going to be dealing with that, and my sister, when my mom passes. We are already convinced my sister will be dipping into her bank accounts before they even have the bodybag zipped.
I just kept saying his mom needs to ride his uncle's ass for every dime. And that if he doesn't pay his due or demands the 1/4 of the estate when still owing money, she needs to lawyer up. All of which to let my sister know that I won't sit by idly if she thinks she's going to rob our mother's corpse. I don't give a fuck about blood and family. She's an entitled bitch, and I'd cut her off faster than she can blink if she thinks she's owed something more than what my parents decided in their will. I don't give a shit about money, it's the principle of the thing.
I am clearly a bit fired up about the whole thing still. I just never cease being shocked by how entitled she is, and the kinds of things she says right in front of and TO our mother. I even called her out, since she is a therapist, about parents who enable their adult children by giving them money constantly to resolve their irresponsibility. My sister, who like everyone who went to college thinks their degree has any meaning, tried to bullshit me that "psychology can be looked at in many ways, it's variable" and then went on to suggest a parent constantly rescuing their irresponsible offspring was a good thing. She should know, her new house she couldn't afford is surrounded by a new $20,000 fence my mom bought for her.
On a less than negative note, after we first got there we were in the garage and I heard the very distinct singing of a house wren outside. We went out there and discovered there was one nesting inside this tiny, decorative birdhouse my mom had in her crabapple tree. Now, when I lived out there, I never recall hearing or seeing a house wren, or any wren, ever. The song is very recognizable. Because we have had one nesting outside our sunroom here since the day we moved in, I know it well.
We had to run to the store to get oil for her mower to fix an issue with that, so we swung through the local nursery and got her two more wren houses since they like to build nests in multiple houses at once. We even picked up a modern looking one for ourselves that was cheap. I am curious if wrens have always been in that area or if they are moving in more recently. I was an avid bird feeder when I lived down the road and never saw half the species I see everyday at our current home. But, a few months back at my mom's I saw a white-breasted nuthatch, which I'd never seen before moving here. I wondered if it was coming to her yard because I'd bought her a bag of better, specialty seed as a gift and that attracted him. She usually buys the cheap, garbage seed that really only seems to attract house sparrows.
All that to say, it was an exciting thing for us to see this little wren there. Now that he has more options for living quarters he should return next year.
I have to take Bosco back for his final vet check-up at lunchtime today. I am not looking forward to it. Every time we go through this he gets more traumatized. As it is, I've hardly spent any time out in the garage with him the past few weeks. I basically pop in and out with food and to check up occasionally. But, other than that I leave Neelix out there with him a lot just so he has company. Needless to say, he hasn't gotten much more comfortable being around humans yet and dragging him back to the vet is not going to help.
He still seems to be exhibiting signs of being in heat and spraying also. Half the problems would be solved if he'd just stop that behavior. Then he could just come in the house and acclimate to us over time, in here. I think it's only been 3 weeks since he was fixed, which means 3 more weeks before we could even consider letting him inside. According to the info out there, next week is likely the earliest we'll start to see hormones dropping and his behavior calming down.
I have to connect to the user who called me Saturday after that, to try fixing his printer issue. We'll just start calling this guy Shylock. My issue is that he's not going to just leave me be to work on it remotely. He's so paranoid he thinks I'll be looking through his emails and documents if he leaves me unattended. As if I fucking care. With him watching, it adds an unnecessarily level of stress. But, he also can't just watch, he needs to constantly text and add commentary and distraction.
I should write about the issue the Meat Packer has been having for almost a year that I will need to try again tomorrow to find a fix for. Maybe if I write it all out I can piece together a pattern. It just seems like everyone's issues lately have to be these beta-tester, mysterious, zero info about them anywhere on the Internet, issues.
We ordered our membership for the arboretum we went to Saturday as well as placed an order for their native plant sale that's happening this weekend. I feel very good about it. We have an area at the bottom of the hill right along the slough we've wanted to start converting from grass to native plantings since the day we moved in. These plants will help to really move forward on that since the seeds I've cast down there haven't done much in over a year.
And because we've gone so bird crazy since this past weekend, we want to start figuring out where we can place nest boxes to attract some of the species we saw on Saturday. So many plans, will anything get done?
I was off for seven days last week. Doesn't feel like it. I need a vacation even more than I did before.