so here's the deal, i'm gonna get kinda personal here. besides myself, four people are gonna be mentioned in this: one of them has no need to worry about anything, all he did was supply me with a little information. another has no need to care at all since i don't think he'll ever actually use the internet. another one i haven't spoken to since ( Read more... )

"there are always ways to improve things.. the question is are you willing to go after what you want to improve upon. balance is a scary thing. it can be awesome, but move just an inch and you run the risk of falling over and dropping everything. real happiness and contentment comes not from getting what we want but from wanting what we have ( Read more... )

i want to update. i want to update so badly... but nothing's sacred. people don't let sleeping dogs lie. i want to write my mind and say my peace and share it with my friends, family and loved ones, but i run the risk of hurting some of them by doing so..... as someone once eloquently typed me ( Read more... )

"While the life he had with you was one he chose, he is a homosexual man that could not deal with the choices he had made in his life and the situations they led him into. His life with you was a kind of joy he will more than likely never have again, because it was your joy. But living the life he did with you was his giving up and not trying, ( Read more... )

so this weekend was something. friday my beau came to see me at work. we had lunch and he brought me the couple of rings i had ordered (they're so beautiful!) that were delivered that morning. when i got off i wanted to go out and do stuff and he was just in an icky mood. i was expecting him to be bouncy and social and that it would be contagious ( Read more... )

we went back and forth all day. i told him i missed him. told him i'd had a shitty day. we'd had one fuck of an ending to the weekend and i just wanted to flop on the sofa and make it better. so i asked him what he wanted for dinner. i had it hot and ready for him. creamy garlic pasta shells and hamburger, the table set, the glasses full, the rolls ( Read more... )

so things got bad. then they got worse. then there was no stopping the rolling snowball that ran me over. how do i manage to keep doing this? i think things are ok. i think it's alright to bitch about the petty little things in my life. i don't think i'll be taken all that seriously or that anyone will care and honestly that's what i want. this is ( Read more... )

so friday was a long day. pair that with a long week and by friday night i was ready for a drink. he'd had a pretty shitty week too so we both needed to get out and have some fun. he wanted to go dancing... now, i've never been to a club or bar or what have you, but after my week i figured i was ready for a challenge. so we ate dinner. then i took ( Read more... )

ok... so there's been a lot going on ( Read more... )

i'm here. i'm sitting at the computer desk of the wonderful people who are letting me share their home until i can make my own. we got here wednesday (the 17th) night ( Read more... )