and so begins month #9....
so friday was a long day. pair that with a long week and by friday night i was ready for a drink. he'd had a pretty shitty week too so we both needed to get out and have some fun. he wanted to go dancing... now, i've never been to a club or bar or what have you, but after my week i figured i was ready for a challenge. so we ate dinner. then i took a shower, had my make up done and got ready. then he took a shower and got ready. then we called our friend about 20 minutes away and went and picked her up. by the time we actually got downtown it was about 11pm; not really late for 6th street, but quite a bit later than i had planned.
and so the search began...
my beau and friend are 22 and 24 respectively. i'm 20. in order for us to do anything together we had to find some place that was 18 + up. not a whole lot of luck there. everywhere we went; 21 + up... 21 + up... 21 + up... and so on. we finally found one place that was 18 + up and they turned us away because my boyfriend's pants were too "skater-ish". god there was so much bullshit. around 12:30 we just gave up. we found a hard rock cafe and i had to pay $5 just to walk in the door. we were there maybe 10 minutes (long enough for my friend to have a drink) and then it was just a general "fuck this" from all three of us. so we went home.. but not before stopping off at HEB (the local 24 hour supermarket) for some soda and juice. and finally the night got interesting in the fun way lol.
we headed home and finished off this huge jug of rum by playing "never have i ever" till we all passed out; with and without throwing up lol. i was so tired the next morning... getting up be damned! but eventually i crawled out of bed to face the day… only by this time it was facing the afternoon almost evening lol. me and mine spent the afternoon/evening exploring a new mall and a halloween store and such. it was great fun. next up: sunday…
the morning started out good until a moment i hadn’t expected. once the crying and anger wore off i read for a bit then we went to barton springs. it was so hot and that water was so cold! but it was great fun none the less. when we’d worn ourselves out we went over to '‘baby a’s’' and ate so much mexican food i thought we were going to explode! we then came home and watched family guy and american dad until we dozed off on the sofa together. now i love lying on the sofa with him, but at about 9:30 i was like “know what? we’re just sleeping here on the sofa and I have to get up at 6:30, why not just go to bed and get a good night’s sleep?”. so i got up and got the bed ready and pulled his butt off the sofa and we went to bed. but then he wanted to read. then two of the three lights that directly influence my sleeping area were on. as was the t.v.. and people were up talking. now, i understand that this is not my home. i understand that i’m living here because of the kindness of my hosts. i think i’m a pretty damn good guest; i keep my shit straight to the best of my ability. i always try to include everyone in my plans and be social when asked to join theirs. rarely ever, whether it’s a shower, can of soup, dishes or tv, do i use something without asking. i have a bit of money set aside to offer for the expenses of my staying with them. i don’t wake anyone up when i get up at 6:30 every morning; i don’t even turn on the main lights! can I please get more than 4 hours sleep???
i lost my temper last night. i know i had no right to, and i’m sorry that i let myself do that but i was so tired. still i wish i hadn’t; i just wish i could sleep…
in other news: a new favorite song that found me completely by accident as most of my meaningful songs do:
He drowns in his dreams
An exquisite extreme, I know
He's as damned as he seems
And more heaven than a heart could hold
If I tried to save him
My whole world could cave in
It just ain't right, it just ain't right
[chorus]
Oh and I don't know
I don't know what he's after
But he's so beautiful
Such a beautiful disaster
And if I could hold on
Through the tears and the laughter
Would it be beautiful
Or just a beautiful disaster
His magic and myth
As strong as what I believe
A tragedy with
More damage than a soul should see
And do I try to change him
So hard not to blame him
Hold on tight, hold on tight
[chorus]
Oh 'cause I don't know
I don't know what he's after
But he's so beautiful
Such a beautiful disaster
And if I could hold on
Through the tears and the laughter
Would it be beautiful
Or just a beautiful disaster
I'm longing for love and the logical
But he's only happy, hysterical
I'm waiting for some kind of a miracle
Waiting so long
So long
He's soft to the touch
But frayed at the end, he breaks
He's never enough
And still he's more than I can take
[chorus]
Oh 'cause I don't know
Don't know what he's after
But he's so beautiful
Such a beautiful disaster
And if I could hold on
Through the tears and the laughter
Would it be beautiful
Or just a beautiful disaster
He's beautiful
Such a beautiful disaster
Oh oh...beautiful
Oh oh...beautiful disaster
and so the search began...
my beau and friend are 22 and 24 respectively. i'm 20. in order for us to do anything together we had to find some place that was 18 + up. not a whole lot of luck there. everywhere we went; 21 + up... 21 + up... 21 + up... and so on. we finally found one place that was 18 + up and they turned us away because my boyfriend's pants were too "skater-ish". god there was so much bullshit. around 12:30 we just gave up. we found a hard rock cafe and i had to pay $5 just to walk in the door. we were there maybe 10 minutes (long enough for my friend to have a drink) and then it was just a general "fuck this" from all three of us. so we went home.. but not before stopping off at HEB (the local 24 hour supermarket) for some soda and juice. and finally the night got interesting in the fun way lol.
we headed home and finished off this huge jug of rum by playing "never have i ever" till we all passed out; with and without throwing up lol. i was so tired the next morning... getting up be damned! but eventually i crawled out of bed to face the day… only by this time it was facing the afternoon almost evening lol. me and mine spent the afternoon/evening exploring a new mall and a halloween store and such. it was great fun. next up: sunday…
the morning started out good until a moment i hadn’t expected. once the crying and anger wore off i read for a bit then we went to barton springs. it was so hot and that water was so cold! but it was great fun none the less. when we’d worn ourselves out we went over to '‘baby a’s’' and ate so much mexican food i thought we were going to explode! we then came home and watched family guy and american dad until we dozed off on the sofa together. now i love lying on the sofa with him, but at about 9:30 i was like “know what? we’re just sleeping here on the sofa and I have to get up at 6:30, why not just go to bed and get a good night’s sleep?”. so i got up and got the bed ready and pulled his butt off the sofa and we went to bed. but then he wanted to read. then two of the three lights that directly influence my sleeping area were on. as was the t.v.. and people were up talking. now, i understand that this is not my home. i understand that i’m living here because of the kindness of my hosts. i think i’m a pretty damn good guest; i keep my shit straight to the best of my ability. i always try to include everyone in my plans and be social when asked to join theirs. rarely ever, whether it’s a shower, can of soup, dishes or tv, do i use something without asking. i have a bit of money set aside to offer for the expenses of my staying with them. i don’t wake anyone up when i get up at 6:30 every morning; i don’t even turn on the main lights! can I please get more than 4 hours sleep???
i lost my temper last night. i know i had no right to, and i’m sorry that i let myself do that but i was so tired. still i wish i hadn’t; i just wish i could sleep…
in other news: a new favorite song that found me completely by accident as most of my meaningful songs do:
He drowns in his dreams
An exquisite extreme, I know
He's as damned as he seems
And more heaven than a heart could hold
If I tried to save him
My whole world could cave in
It just ain't right, it just ain't right
[chorus]
Oh and I don't know
I don't know what he's after
But he's so beautiful
Such a beautiful disaster
And if I could hold on
Through the tears and the laughter
Would it be beautiful
Or just a beautiful disaster
His magic and myth
As strong as what I believe
A tragedy with
More damage than a soul should see
And do I try to change him
So hard not to blame him
Hold on tight, hold on tight
[chorus]
Oh 'cause I don't know
I don't know what he's after
But he's so beautiful
Such a beautiful disaster
And if I could hold on
Through the tears and the laughter
Would it be beautiful
Or just a beautiful disaster
I'm longing for love and the logical
But he's only happy, hysterical
I'm waiting for some kind of a miracle
Waiting so long
So long
He's soft to the touch
But frayed at the end, he breaks
He's never enough
And still he's more than I can take
[chorus]
Oh 'cause I don't know
Don't know what he's after
But he's so beautiful
Such a beautiful disaster
And if I could hold on
Through the tears and the laughter
Would it be beautiful
Or just a beautiful disaster
He's beautiful
Such a beautiful disaster
Oh oh...beautiful
Oh oh...beautiful disaster