Happy Birthday Abby girl :-)
June 10th is almost over for another year. I'm relieved, but also wishing I could hold on to these last two days and what they represent. I woke up this morning 4 minutes after Abby's time of death, then Jack and I spent some time sharing our memories of this day, four years ago. My memories were so clear and specific, while his were much more hazy, more "general". Tonight, I'm drained and out of words but wanted to share some pictures of our birthday and angelversary celebrations.
Charlotte wanted to help me wash dishes as Abby's cake was baking.
Charlotte was the only one home when I mixed up the cake mix, so she got to lick both beaters!
I sliced up fresh strawberries and sprinkled them with a little sugar to eat with the angel food cake. And I love my strawberry shaped strawberry slicer :-)
After supper, I lit the candles on Abby's cake, then Jack and the Littles sang "Happy Birthday" to Abby. As always, I only got through the first few words before the lump formed in my throat and the tears started.
Charlotte and Julia were both so excited to be having a birthday party, it was really adorable.
Abby, your cake was very yummy :-)
On Abby's birthday, I did a bit of work in Abby's scrapbook. I wanted to do her birthday party from last year, when I made her a sun-shaped birthday cake.
The second page was for Abby's angelversary. I plan to do this every year that we celebrate and remember these days.
This morning before we left town, I took two balloons to a local store and had them filled with helium. We all wrote messages on them as we drove to the cemetery.
I had started to cry as we got near the cemetery and when I saw Jack's message to Abby, the tears really flowed.
Aww, Kim....
When I turned around to ask Julia if she was finished with the marker, she was holding this balloon and had big, fat tears on her cheeks.
Kim helped Charlotte hold the marker and write a message to Abby.
It was windy and raining as the girls released their yellow balloon. It flew almost straight horizontally for a while and then disappeared into the grey sky.
Jack and I released the pink balloon together and watched it until we couldn't see it anymore.
After we released our balloon, Kim took the camera and walked over to my grandparents' graves. She took this picture on her way back to us, as I was falling apart in Jack's arms. And poor Julia, I had sent her and Charlotte back to the van to get out of the rain but she had come back for a hug - she was so sad :-( Later today, Julia asked, "Mom...do you think Abby got our balloons?"
*sigh*
Today was not a day for celebrating, but it was a day for remembering, for grieving. This ritual of releasing balloons is a way for my girls to express their grief and sadness, without feeling like they have to carry it in silence. Yes, there were tears, but there was also plenty of laughter and fun while we splashed in the pool together, made repeated trips down the waterslide, shopped for birthday presents, and met Amanda (our beloved cousin/niece) for supper.
You are remembered Abby, and we honour your memory by making more....as a family.
Charlotte wanted to help me wash dishes as Abby's cake was baking.
Charlotte was the only one home when I mixed up the cake mix, so she got to lick both beaters!
I sliced up fresh strawberries and sprinkled them with a little sugar to eat with the angel food cake. And I love my strawberry shaped strawberry slicer :-)
After supper, I lit the candles on Abby's cake, then Jack and the Littles sang "Happy Birthday" to Abby. As always, I only got through the first few words before the lump formed in my throat and the tears started.
Charlotte and Julia were both so excited to be having a birthday party, it was really adorable.
Abby, your cake was very yummy :-)
On Abby's birthday, I did a bit of work in Abby's scrapbook. I wanted to do her birthday party from last year, when I made her a sun-shaped birthday cake.
The second page was for Abby's angelversary. I plan to do this every year that we celebrate and remember these days.
This morning before we left town, I took two balloons to a local store and had them filled with helium. We all wrote messages on them as we drove to the cemetery.
I had started to cry as we got near the cemetery and when I saw Jack's message to Abby, the tears really flowed.
Aww, Kim....
When I turned around to ask Julia if she was finished with the marker, she was holding this balloon and had big, fat tears on her cheeks.
Kim helped Charlotte hold the marker and write a message to Abby.
It was windy and raining as the girls released their yellow balloon. It flew almost straight horizontally for a while and then disappeared into the grey sky.
Jack and I released the pink balloon together and watched it until we couldn't see it anymore.
After we released our balloon, Kim took the camera and walked over to my grandparents' graves. She took this picture on her way back to us, as I was falling apart in Jack's arms. And poor Julia, I had sent her and Charlotte back to the van to get out of the rain but she had come back for a hug - she was so sad :-( Later today, Julia asked, "Mom...do you think Abby got our balloons?"
*sigh*
Today was not a day for celebrating, but it was a day for remembering, for grieving. This ritual of releasing balloons is a way for my girls to express their grief and sadness, without feeling like they have to carry it in silence. Yes, there were tears, but there was also plenty of laughter and fun while we splashed in the pool together, made repeated trips down the waterslide, shopped for birthday presents, and met Amanda (our beloved cousin/niece) for supper.
You are remembered Abby, and we honour your memory by making more....as a family.