Dear Mr. Hopcraft,Your emails have been a constant source of stress and worry for my mother. You send her the stupidest shit it is possible to find on the internet, which she then forwards to me with the plaintive refrain of "is this true???" Which means I then have to use my Google-fu and Snopes-kwon-do skills to prove to her that it isn't true ( Read more... )

Note to self: After a night of having other people keeping you awake (and not in a good way, either), so that you get about two and a half hours of sleep, and then finally getting into a writing groove when you give up on ever getting back to sleep, and having it INTERRUPTED (looks accusingly at Impertinent Daughter ( Read more... )

Beware, cranky grouchy Bear alert ( Read more... )

Dear Principals, Teachers, and other concerned adults,

You wanna prevent bullying in schools? Really? Want me to tell you how? Okay, stop with all the "Oh, let's build up self-esteem and tell the bulliessocially awkward and overly enthusiastic children that bullying is wrong and hurts people!!" crap, because y'all have been doing that for ( Read more... )

Okay, next year? Remind me to never, never, ever again go school supply shopping ALONE with my kids. No, seriously, put it on your calendars for August of next year, "Remind Auntie DO NOT GO SCHOOL SUPPLY SHOPPING ALONE WITH YOUR KIDS!!"

And then remind me, over and over again.

*bangs head into wall repeatedly*

I do not understand the people who live in my house, sometimes. Especially the oldest one. You'd think, after being married to me for 18+ years, he would know that when I am in a grumpy, snarly mood to just... leave me alone. You'd think the two younger ones would know to stay away and not keep coming in every ten seconds to ask me questions ( Read more... )

I was a grumbling, snarling, very cranky and bad-tempered Bear yesterday ( Read more... )

My kids are driving me bananas ( Read more... )

Shopping for swimwear is not an exercise for the faint of heart.  If you see someone sitting on the beach wearing a long sleeved shirt, long pants, a big floppy hat, and big dark sunglasses, hiding behind a sketchbook... that would be ME.

I was a grumpy bear last night.  In fact, I went to bed early, thanks to a major dose of Benadryl, and the none too subtle nudgings of the Impossible Son.  "Mama, would you lay down with me? I'm tired, and I just want to go to bed.  The thunder's scary.  Please ( Read more... )