Do. Not. Like.
Dear Mr. Hopcraft,
Your emails have been a constant source of stress and worry for my mother. You send her the stupidest shit it is possible to find on the internet, which she then forwards to me with the plaintive refrain of "is this true???" Which means I then have to use my Google-fu and Snopes-kwon-do skills to prove to her that it isn't true and is just a silly internet rumor/lie/whatever.
Last week's was particularly fun. Along with your usual OMG, THE PRESIDENT IS A SCARY BLACK MAN WE MUST DO SOMETHING TO GET RID OF HIM HE WASN'T EVEN BORN HERE, you had to send something claiming that Obama had gotten rid of all the flags in the Oval Office and decorated it Muslim-Style!, or something stupid along those lines.
*insert eye-roll here*
However, last night's takes the cake, and it wasn't even really your fault except you probably don't have a firewall on your computer, or any sort of protection, and probably open every attachment you get. So somebody has hacked your email account, copied your entire address book, and probably sent identical emails to the one my mother got to everyone on your list. The thing is, it took forever for me to get my mother to see that an 86 year old man in poor health who can't make the drive or take a flight from Oklahoma to Texas is unlikely, therefore, to take a plane halfway across the country, and then across the Atlantic Ocean to London all by himself.
And if he gets mugged and has his wallet and cellphone taken, and then robbed so that he only has the clothes on his back and (miraculously) his plane ticket (no mention of the passport, by the way), he is more likely to call one of his sons, both of whom are employed and very well off, for help than he is the widow of one of his oil-field buddies who is on a fixed income and unlikely to have the funds needed to "tide him over" until he can fly home. I pointed out that you are a proud, stubborn man who would rather starve than ask for a handout like that. If you wouldn't ask my dad for help, you certainly wouldn't ask his widow for help. And that if you are able to get access to a computer for email with no money, no credit cards, no phone, then something is definitely fishy.
I finally convinced her that it was all a scam, somewhat, but I know she still had doubts. I'll probably have to call the police department in your town and have them do a health and welfare check on you to prove that you're at home and okay before I can be sure she doesn't worry herself into a swivet and decide to wire you that money.
I don't like you very much, Mr. Hopcraft. Before last night, if you were on fire and I had a glass of water, I'd drink it all. But now? You know what? I don't even care. In fact, I'm only bothering about this because you, once again, have upset my mother. And I have a very big problem with that.
So after we get this current crisis solved, I'm going to recommend she change her email address and, if necessary, block you. You're not worth the hassle. Seriously.
no love,
Auntie
Your emails have been a constant source of stress and worry for my mother. You send her the stupidest shit it is possible to find on the internet, which she then forwards to me with the plaintive refrain of "is this true???" Which means I then have to use my Google-fu and Snopes-kwon-do skills to prove to her that it isn't true and is just a silly internet rumor/lie/whatever.
Last week's was particularly fun. Along with your usual OMG, THE PRESIDENT IS A SCARY BLACK MAN WE MUST DO SOMETHING TO GET RID OF HIM HE WASN'T EVEN BORN HERE, you had to send something claiming that Obama had gotten rid of all the flags in the Oval Office and decorated it Muslim-Style!, or something stupid along those lines.
*insert eye-roll here*
However, last night's takes the cake, and it wasn't even really your fault except you probably don't have a firewall on your computer, or any sort of protection, and probably open every attachment you get. So somebody has hacked your email account, copied your entire address book, and probably sent identical emails to the one my mother got to everyone on your list. The thing is, it took forever for me to get my mother to see that an 86 year old man in poor health who can't make the drive or take a flight from Oklahoma to Texas is unlikely, therefore, to take a plane halfway across the country, and then across the Atlantic Ocean to London all by himself.
And if he gets mugged and has his wallet and cellphone taken, and then robbed so that he only has the clothes on his back and (miraculously) his plane ticket (no mention of the passport, by the way), he is more likely to call one of his sons, both of whom are employed and very well off, for help than he is the widow of one of his oil-field buddies who is on a fixed income and unlikely to have the funds needed to "tide him over" until he can fly home. I pointed out that you are a proud, stubborn man who would rather starve than ask for a handout like that. If you wouldn't ask my dad for help, you certainly wouldn't ask his widow for help. And that if you are able to get access to a computer for email with no money, no credit cards, no phone, then something is definitely fishy.
I finally convinced her that it was all a scam, somewhat, but I know she still had doubts. I'll probably have to call the police department in your town and have them do a health and welfare check on you to prove that you're at home and okay before I can be sure she doesn't worry herself into a swivet and decide to wire you that money.
I don't like you very much, Mr. Hopcraft. Before last night, if you were on fire and I had a glass of water, I'd drink it all. But now? You know what? I don't even care. In fact, I'm only bothering about this because you, once again, have upset my mother. And I have a very big problem with that.
So after we get this current crisis solved, I'm going to recommend she change her email address and, if necessary, block you. You're not worth the hassle. Seriously.
no love,
Auntie