Arghghgh, stupid fucking brain!
My sleep pattern might, just might, be getting around to something sane again. I say this despite the fact I went to bed not long before 17h yesterday and was awake again by midnight. But I did at least seem to sleep solidly with not too much trouble dropping off, which is progress. Yes, I've been getting close to insomnia again.
So this probably means I could survive going out to Pathway today, leaving in 30 minutes and getting back by 14h.
However for the last 20 minutes or so now I've been experiencing increasing levels of stress and panic over this. Now I have two warring thoughts. One is that I do really need to get out and see people, even if it's 'only' Pathway. The other is that I shouldn't force the stress upon myself. The problem is it's not entirely clear if that 2nd thought is just the Anxiety talking or if there is enough rationality to it to pay attention to.
About "'only' Pathway". The problem I have with it is I've not really engaged with anyone there and none of them really seem my kind of person (i.e. IT/science geek and/or part of a goth-related alternative scene). This doesn't really give me sufficient incentive to go, which is part of why I haven't the past 4, er maybe 5, weeks already now.
So, 15 minutes now before I'd to go out to the bus stop....
So this probably means I could survive going out to Pathway today, leaving in 30 minutes and getting back by 14h.
However for the last 20 minutes or so now I've been experiencing increasing levels of stress and panic over this. Now I have two warring thoughts. One is that I do really need to get out and see people, even if it's 'only' Pathway. The other is that I shouldn't force the stress upon myself. The problem is it's not entirely clear if that 2nd thought is just the Anxiety talking or if there is enough rationality to it to pay attention to.
About "'only' Pathway". The problem I have with it is I've not really engaged with anyone there and none of them really seem my kind of person (i.e. IT/science geek and/or part of a goth-related alternative scene). This doesn't really give me sufficient incentive to go, which is part of why I haven't the past 4, er maybe 5, weeks already now.
So, 15 minutes now before I'd to go out to the bus stop....