Michelle is cooking dinner

[ask_captainjack]

Dear Captain Jack, what should I cook for dinner tonight? I need suggestions. I hate my kitchen. GRATEFUL FOR ANY HELP. Love Michelle.

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Comments

[gwen_e_cooper]

Google Tax isn't real?

Tosh charged me £23.50 for my fairy research.

What did she spend it on, blowouts?

[ask_captainjack]

SUCKER! You got pwned by a nerd. That's the most funny way to be pwned.

Of course there isn't a Google Tax! The only real tax we have to pay is the Ironing and Bleaching Tax. It makes sense when you think about it. The government needs to keep track of how much starch the nation is using.

[capulet_rose]

Wow. I'm glad that there's no Bleach Tax where I live. Look at my hair! I'd be bankrupt in less than a month!

[ask_captainjack]

THAT'S BRUTAL! You'd have to work out a system with your butler where you pay him in sex.

[lawsontl]

You would be so screwed if there was a lube tax.

Then again, no...you wouldn't! *laughing at self*

[ask_aboutcoffee]

Olive oil sales would skyrocket.

[lawsontl]

And butter. Butter seems more Welsh, and without the green tint, less likely to stain. Though you could always enjoy the fetish angle of using something with "virgin" in the name to smooth the way for the old rumpy pumpy.

[ask_aboutcoffee]

It does make a much better moisturiser, as well. And apparently a good treatment for split ends, though I remain skeptical.

[ask_aboutcoffee]

Is this why there are four stock pots of water boiling on the Torchwood stove, Jack?

Also, that tax maybe how Tosh afforded those gorgeous Tiffany diamond earrings. MYSTERY SOLVED!

The wikipedia tax is still real, though.

[lawsontl]

One might suspect how you afford such nice suits on the egregiously low pay of a Torchwood employee, Mr. Jones. Who, exactly, collects the Ironing and Bleaching Tax from the team?

[ask_aboutcoffee]

I'm thrifty! And I have Hookups.

I collect the ironing and bleaching tax, naturally, as I am the one who irons and bleaches (well, Rhys does his share, so Gwen gives him fifty percent). It goes to national upkeep and the parks and such, I'm sure.

[ask_captainjack]

I know about the Wikipedia Tax. The pop-up reminder from Tosh makes me sad. I still put coins in the jar though. I assume you're putting the change in an envelope and mailing it in every month?

[oh_doask]

Youth wather ith boithing

I tathe testheth!

[ask_captainjack]

HEY THAT HOT HAM WATER IS FOR EVERYONE. Save some for us. Christ!

[lawsontl]

Let me guess, you're hoping someone will kiss your burnt tongue and make it better?

[oh_doask]

Kith my burnth thongue?

I'mth sthickingth ith outh!

[timeagency]

Goodness, why not just tell her to go to the Food Processor and say, "Autochef, please make something for my entire family that we will all enjoy and benefit from"? Left to its own devices, the average Food Processor will almost always produce a nice roast beast with a side of starchy tubers. And a green salad.

They are still eating chicken in the 21st century? Wow, when does the PLAID (Poultry Liberation Army-Irradiated Division) start its actions? Hopefully there's a good century still to go. I'll check the timelines later.

[lawsontl]

PLAID is still more or less underground. Though there are rumours of a Chicken Finger Rebellion forming. I hear it's likely to be rather saucy.

[ask_aboutcoffee]

They're a scratch lot, though. Wing-nuts, the lot of them.

[timeagency]

Don't say I didn't warn you. They're vengeful fellows, the PLAID.