I'm such an idiot
Maybe I should just break up with him? This all fucks with me so much. He really doesn't think about me nearly as much as I think about him. And if cared about me at all, I don't think i would feel this way. I think that he would try by now to make me feel better, try to think about me and my feelings, not just how I'm mad at him, or that he misses me, or that he's "always in trouble."
I'm angry now because he's probably at home drunk while it says he's online and I even wrote to him, trying to instigate some sort of response. Nothing. So, I texted him saying I hadn't heard from him, so i guess I wasn't coming over. Nothing. If he cared, he would have thought that I was planning on coming over after class. He would've asked. He would think why I might be upset.
I'm so hurt. Am I over reacting? I feel like I might be. But I feel forgotten. I don't feel cared for, and I feel like he's just selfish about me.
But then when things go wrong and he is truly apologetic, or when things are good, they're really good. Why can't he just have consideration for my feelings? Or, again, I have to ask myself, am I overreacting. Maybe I ask too much. He can't read my mind. But obviously he doesn't
Well, I yelled at him over instant messenger. Wow. Scary. But then he called and as pathetic as I sound in even saying it, he heard resolution in my voice. He said he's not used to caring about other people. For 9 months? I asked him that. He apologized profusely, said he completely understood for the first time and that that's a big step. I told him that I didn't think i could really stand it anymore if he did it agan, that I would probably leave him.
We'll see.
I'm going over there in 15 min.
I'm angry now because he's probably at home drunk while it says he's online and I even wrote to him, trying to instigate some sort of response. Nothing. So, I texted him saying I hadn't heard from him, so i guess I wasn't coming over. Nothing. If he cared, he would have thought that I was planning on coming over after class. He would've asked. He would think why I might be upset.
I'm so hurt. Am I over reacting? I feel like I might be. But I feel forgotten. I don't feel cared for, and I feel like he's just selfish about me.
But then when things go wrong and he is truly apologetic, or when things are good, they're really good. Why can't he just have consideration for my feelings? Or, again, I have to ask myself, am I overreacting. Maybe I ask too much. He can't read my mind. But obviously he doesn't
Well, I yelled at him over instant messenger. Wow. Scary. But then he called and as pathetic as I sound in even saying it, he heard resolution in my voice. He said he's not used to caring about other people. For 9 months? I asked him that. He apologized profusely, said he completely understood for the first time and that that's a big step. I told him that I didn't think i could really stand it anymore if he did it agan, that I would probably leave him.
We'll see.
I'm going over there in 15 min.