I'm not sure this make sense, but I can't express it better just yet
I feel so lost in the world. I was doing so well a little while back. What happened? Do I just have to get used to it being alright again? Maybe so. I'll try and let it happen.
Here is the shortest horror story ever written, by Frederic Brown
"The last man on earth sat alone in a room. There was a knock on the door."
Also, I think it's odd going into the houses of people who don't have any deep thoughts or intellectualism to them - everything seems to be bought for the decoration. It's almost like a simulacrum of life. It scares me. I think that it is when someone doesn't really have much meaning to their life, they don't have anything around that holds meaning for them. I don't know i this makes sense. For instance, I have in my room an antique desk that I love because it romanticizes things I do when i sit at it. I have my keyboard, which I allow absolutely nothing to be rested on it except for music - I don't want it desecrated, my bookshelf, filled with literature that has added meaning to my life. I have my bulletin board, covered in weekly goals for myself. I have wrought-iron candle holders around because they give my life a romantic feel. I have Botticelli prints and art supplies.
These things are all symbols of my life and who I am. I can replace them - it is not their materialism I treasure. Some people's houses just seem to be filled with "stuff" and are actually empty of meaning.
Maybe this is why I feel so empty. Just feeling that around me last night. Maybe this is why people drink into their adulthood and seem unhappy all the time. I never ever want to be like that.
Here is the shortest horror story ever written, by Frederic Brown
"The last man on earth sat alone in a room. There was a knock on the door."
Also, I think it's odd going into the houses of people who don't have any deep thoughts or intellectualism to them - everything seems to be bought for the decoration. It's almost like a simulacrum of life. It scares me. I think that it is when someone doesn't really have much meaning to their life, they don't have anything around that holds meaning for them. I don't know i this makes sense. For instance, I have in my room an antique desk that I love because it romanticizes things I do when i sit at it. I have my keyboard, which I allow absolutely nothing to be rested on it except for music - I don't want it desecrated, my bookshelf, filled with literature that has added meaning to my life. I have my bulletin board, covered in weekly goals for myself. I have wrought-iron candle holders around because they give my life a romantic feel. I have Botticelli prints and art supplies.
These things are all symbols of my life and who I am. I can replace them - it is not their materialism I treasure. Some people's houses just seem to be filled with "stuff" and are actually empty of meaning.
Maybe this is why I feel so empty. Just feeling that around me last night. Maybe this is why people drink into their adulthood and seem unhappy all the time. I never ever want to be like that.