it's only fear
I am tiiiired, oh my goodness - unwontedly and unwarrantedly so, really. But I do this thing where I wear myself out thinking of all that I need to do, mentally retreading my to-do list and bullet-pointing lots of anxiety under each item on it. It doesn't help that I tend to procrastinate more when I'm afraid, and there's very little I dislike more than the ways change takes me out of my depth.
I just wish I could stop fretting - it really does feel like I'm being corroded, a bit at a time, and that makes me feel terrifyingly crazy.
-
Items that may actually be of interest to someone other than myself:
1. I am listening to Arcade Fire's latest, The Suburbs, and I like it a lot so far! I haven't paid much attention to lyrics yet, but I love reading music reviews (seriously, I do it compulsively), and this one really interested me, especially in light of the otherwise near-universal acclaim the album's received. I only learned of Arcade Fire through fandom mixes, so I think the bulk of the history of the band/its place in "modern hipster culture" is lost on me. I'd be curious to know what longer-time fans of the band think of The Suburbs. In the meantime, I think I'll be listening closer to see if the lyrics really are "bitter and deeply resentful, partially of who Butler's become, but mostly of who we, his audience, aren't."
2. I've been reading: Santa Olivia, Half the Sky, Other Things to Do After Buying a Cat (BBC Sherlock, totally wonderful Molly/Sally femmeslash that gets that it might have to start being about Sherlock but definitely doesn't have to stay about him), and some lovely stuff recommended by other people:
loneraven pointed me in the direction of Five Things That Rosie Weasley Misses During Her First Year at Hogwarts, gorgeously-written gen about a Rose who grew up in Australia (can't you see Hermione and Ron moving there, if her parents never quite remembered?). I love stories so full of magic and detail and magical detail, stories about girls, and stories about important things.
moralimperative enthused about Exquisite, a long, UST-filled parallel of the first season of White Collar. I can't remember the last time I read a threesome story this careful about each of its characters and each of the pairings within the threesome. It's really enjoyable to read, and smart about trust, care, and dominance.
On my delicious network, bookshop highly recommended i am the hero of this story (don't need to be saved), a post-Inception story about Mal, and I think it may be the only story I need from that fandom. (I really did need it, after reading that Christopher Nolan originally intended the film's antagonist to be the partner (Arthur) but made it the wife (Mal) because "If you're going to do a massive movie, [...] you've got to be able to unlock that more universal experience for yourself as well as for the audience." Dead women enhance the relatability of movies: the more you know!)
Also on delicious, harborshore bookmarked Deep Breaths, an Ellen/Mary Supernatural AU in which Mary turns down Azazel's offer to bring her dead boyfriend back to life. I was originally skeptical because of the second person POV (and my utter lack of canon knowledge), but I ended up reading it all in one sitting. It's just really, really good like that.
And now I think I'm going to do some of the stuff I actually have to do. Wish me luck, ugh.
I just wish I could stop fretting - it really does feel like I'm being corroded, a bit at a time, and that makes me feel terrifyingly crazy.
-
Items that may actually be of interest to someone other than myself:
1. I am listening to Arcade Fire's latest, The Suburbs, and I like it a lot so far! I haven't paid much attention to lyrics yet, but I love reading music reviews (seriously, I do it compulsively), and this one really interested me, especially in light of the otherwise near-universal acclaim the album's received. I only learned of Arcade Fire through fandom mixes, so I think the bulk of the history of the band/its place in "modern hipster culture" is lost on me. I'd be curious to know what longer-time fans of the band think of The Suburbs. In the meantime, I think I'll be listening closer to see if the lyrics really are "bitter and deeply resentful, partially of who Butler's become, but mostly of who we, his audience, aren't."
2. I've been reading: Santa Olivia, Half the Sky, Other Things to Do After Buying a Cat (BBC Sherlock, totally wonderful Molly/Sally femmeslash that gets that it might have to start being about Sherlock but definitely doesn't have to stay about him), and some lovely stuff recommended by other people:
loneraven pointed me in the direction of Five Things That Rosie Weasley Misses During Her First Year at Hogwarts, gorgeously-written gen about a Rose who grew up in Australia (can't you see Hermione and Ron moving there, if her parents never quite remembered?). I love stories so full of magic and detail and magical detail, stories about girls, and stories about important things.
moralimperative enthused about Exquisite, a long, UST-filled parallel of the first season of White Collar. I can't remember the last time I read a threesome story this careful about each of its characters and each of the pairings within the threesome. It's really enjoyable to read, and smart about trust, care, and dominance.
On my delicious network, bookshop highly recommended i am the hero of this story (don't need to be saved), a post-Inception story about Mal, and I think it may be the only story I need from that fandom. (I really did need it, after reading that Christopher Nolan originally intended the film's antagonist to be the partner (Arthur) but made it the wife (Mal) because "If you're going to do a massive movie, [...] you've got to be able to unlock that more universal experience for yourself as well as for the audience." Dead women enhance the relatability of movies: the more you know!)
Also on delicious, harborshore bookmarked Deep Breaths, an Ellen/Mary Supernatural AU in which Mary turns down Azazel's offer to bring her dead boyfriend back to life. I was originally skeptical because of the second person POV (and my utter lack of canon knowledge), but I ended up reading it all in one sitting. It's just really, really good like that.
And now I think I'm going to do some of the stuff I actually have to do. Wish me luck, ugh.