Manifesting My Dream Partner

Feb 12, 2022 10:46


About 1-2 years ago, I finally sat down and really began to think about what I wanted in another person. I've made lists before as a teenager and young adult, but this list is the most accurate representation of my thoughts. I've been through so many relationships now, and I keep discovering what I do and don't like. Below is the conclusion of these thoughts and experiences.

What is required in another partner:

  • My next partner is going to be a beautiful person, on the inside and outside. A beautiful soul who adds so much value to the world and people around them. They truly care. 
  • Our love languages are similar in importance. The most important ones to me, in descending order, involve quality time together, physical touch/affection, words of affirmation, acts of service, gifts (not so much materialism but more about everyday gestures and symbols of love like a really sweet note or letter). Some more specific love languages includes food (making together, trying new foods, going to restaurants), traveling, sharing music, playing video games together, holding hands, taking pictures and sharing them on social media, and cuddles, just to name a few.
  • They must have a sense of humor that allows them to be humble and laugh at themselves. It also means letting go of stress and being spontaneous and goofy when appropriate. They know when to say, "Whatever" and let go of things they cannot control. They know the world can be a very dark place, but choose to find happiness and the beauty in life whenever possible. 
  • They have their life organized and put together. They've worked their but off to get into their career and have a place of their own. Their finances are stable and they don't have much debt. They have a vehicle and are 100% independent. They've got future goals they are working on related to their independent future.
  • They must be confident and secure with themselves. This allows them to be comfortable with their sexuality, their femininity, masculinity, and trust in other people. This also means they are bold, honest, brave, adventurous, and curious. They are not concerned about other people's judgement and opinions. They fearlessly love the things they want to love. 
  • They are willing to be vulnerable. This means they are not afraid to experience and express any of their emotions. They want to actively communicate the thoughts in their head. They try to be emotionally available for others when they can.
  • The must be emotionally intelligent, which allows them to always peacefully converse and discuss conflicts, misunderstands, and disagreements. It allows them to think objectively about their emotions, reflect on their actions/thoughts/emotions, and calmly work through situations. They always strive to be honest with themselves and constantly work towards becoming better. They possibly even seek counseling/therapy and take their mental health extremely seriously. They may have trauma, but strive to learn how it affects them and how to cope in healthy ways. 
  • They are wholesome and love themselves. This prevents them from relying on me too much for their happiness or being jealous of my friends/family/coworkers. They have a life of their own, a circle of friends already established, and hobbies that they thoroughly enjoy. They know how to exist on their own and find peace in their own company, but enjoy my combined presence. They value alone time as much as they do being with me. They don't helicopter me, monitor my whereabouts constantly, or set rules about how I dress and behave. They cannot be controlling. 
  • They love to have fun and aren't afraid to try new things, whether this is going on adventures outdoors, camping, playing video games, making/trying delicious new food, playing video games, playful wrestling, water sports, exploring new places, trying new hobbies, building blanket forts, etc. In other words, they must trust their own self and me when leaving their comfort zone.
  • They love taking pictures and capturing memories. They are not afraid to take pictures of anything whether it's food at a restaurant, selfies, or photographs together with their partner. They never want to forget precious moments and love sharing them on social media. 
  • They must be culturally intelligent, which means that they are respectful and supportive of minority communities, other cultures, other religions, other ways of life. This also means they care about worldly issues, even if they aren't directly affected by them. They are passionate about working towards equality for minorities and women. They respect everyone in public and try their best to be open minded. 
  • They have future aspirations, goals, and dreams. Despite being goofy, they know when it's time to be serious and have a strong career pathway. It doesn't matter if this involves college education, vocational schools, apprenticeships. What matters is that they are always looking to grow and become better.  
  • They are a student of life. They try to learn from everything and enjoy learning. There's a lesson to be found almost everywhere in every situation. They have never settled on becoming a grouchy, old person, meaning they are always a youthful kid at heart. Learning is so exciting and they are always acquiring new skills and knowledge. They may read books, take classes for fun, watch online tutorials, or watch educational shows on tv. 
  • They love life and avoid negativity. Life has it's ups and downs. It's not at easy by all means. What's important is that they understand life is precious. No one truly knows if we are re-incarnated or what it truly means to be alive. Knowing this might be our only chance at life, I would hope they treat it as a precious gift like I do. This means they are able to take risks, sometimes do crazy fun things like water cliff diving, are open minded, refrain from negative judgement of others, and don't like drama. They have learned that life is too short for people who take away value from their life, rather than adding value. They don't put up with abuse. They are comfortable setting boundaries and communicating when they are broken. They thank so many people and tell everyone how much they appreciate them. They tip generously and are always offering their time, skills, expertise, and tools to others. They are selfless. 
  • They have a strong imagination. This allows them to be different characters in video games, play fantasy board games, maybe even cosplay. They know how to channel their imagination into their real life whether it's through creative dates, thoughtfully looking for or making gifts for other people, and admiration for other people's art. Sometimes this may also mean attaching sentiment to inanimate objects in a fun sense. 
  • They are extremely loving and caring, which means they wholeheartedly support their family, friends, and partners. They are willing to talk about their love languages, needs, and desires and strive to meet their partner's. Hopefully it means snuggles, cuddles, romantic dinners, spontaneous love letters, showing their adoration and proudness to have me as a partner, take care of me when I'm sick, throw me surprises like birthday parties, and are very intimate. They would absolutely want to spoil me. They would never dream of hurting me, physically, mentally, or emotionally. If they have, it would be of utmost importance to ask, communicate, and work on improving themselves to avoid such a mistake. 
  • They are passionate about life, their friends, their family, and their partner. There's nothing I love more than a partner who is passionate about the things they love and the things they hate. They smile and laugh often! Of course we all go through tough, dark times, but they'll try to find the silver lining. Any hobby or activity I do, they're going to cheer me on and support me in incredible ways. They will be so curious and ask so many questions about my past, my hobbies, and my dreams. They want to get to know me deeply as a person and understand the journey I've taken to become my current self. We can't choose our families, but hopefully they have a loving, wonderful family that they care about deeply. Maybe even some pets they love dearly. If not, they've found a community that they treat like their family. 
  • They care about their health and hygiene. They strive to be healthy, to keep their quality of life as strong as possible. They also believe in presentation. They're not afraid of any products in the sense that some guys believe using makeup or body lotion makes them "gay." They might style their hair a certain way, groom their beard with beard wax if they have one, use a special cologne or perfume, buy high quality shampoo and condition, have a wardrobe style they love, shower often, maintain dental hygiene, and love using body lotions and facial moisturizers. Heck, they would be willing to get pedicures with me and wouldn't care about the gendered marketing of products like deodorant or shaving cream. Aside from being fit, they aren't afraid to eat less healthy foods on cheat days because they have a healthy relationship with food.
  • They want a family and marriage someday. They are prepared and ready for long-term commitment. I respect and support all relationship styles, but ultimately want someone seeking monogamy. They want to stay in Washington State as well. 
Things that aren't required, but would be a bonus.

  • They love The Legend of Zelda video game series like me.
  • They are an artist of some kind and/or deeply appreciate art. 
  • They love growing plants or having a few around the house. They might be in the beginning stages of growing their green thumb with a few plants or are already experienced with several. 
  • They love to go shopping! The type doesn't matter; food, clothing, gifts, plants, household goods, home furnishing, etc. Every "errand" really turns into a fun adventure together, imagining how new stuff might fit into their/our lifestyle. This also includes thrifting and going to garage sales together! The hunt for treasure is thrilling. 
  • They are very technologically savvy. They have a lot of experience with hardware and software, which may include skills like being able to build computers.  
  • They love feminine things like candles, body lotion, staying well groomed, and fashion. 
  • They are into anime/manga and video games.
  • They love cats. 
  • They love to be social and party! They find meeting new people fun and exciting. They're a goofball and will take a shot at playing games, dancing, and maybe even karaoke. They will always find a way to have fun, even in new situations with new people. 
  • They have tattoos and piercings.
  • They are very handy and have tons of useful skills. They can tackle plumbing issues, electrical work, car maintenance, you name it. They believe in fixing things as much as they can to avoid waste. They always want to volunteer their skills to help others. 
  • They are college educated and understand the work it takes to navigate the educational system, even though it is inherently flawed and difficult. 
  • They are good with time management and try maintain a routine and schedule. 
  • They are good with their finances. It sucks that money even exists (I'll avoid my rant about capitalism), but regardless, they've learned how to handle such. They are very careful with spending. They think thoughtfully about their purchases. 
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