I spent most of the last 3 years putting everything on hold to be there for my family. And now I don't know where to go from here. Is it ok to put myself first now? And what would it mean if I did -- do I even know what I want anymore ( Read more... )

My dad died today.

This sucks.

And already the stupid people are showing themselves to be stupider than expected.

That sucks too.

But, at the same time, if I don't get this out, I'm going to explode. I know I have people who would listen, but I really am not ready to have this conversation in real life. I'll deal with that when I have to, but I'm not there yet ( Read more... )

Reality sucks. I think I shall focus all of my mental energies on escaping it.

The current count for Beth's zoo ( Read more... )

My dad is in the hospital again. He has a blood clot in the vein in his chest that the IV-port is in, which is causing his arm to be very swollen and icky. So, now he's back on mega doses of blood thinners to dissolve the clot and they had to take out the port and then put a new one in on the other side of his chest (since he is still on chemo ( Read more... )

Really, shouldn't I have figured out life by now? I'm 33, not 18. And yet, clueless about what I want to do with myself I am. So, here's what I want ( Read more... )

Is that when it's late and you're alone and scared, there's no one to hold you and tell you that everything will be okay.

Actual conversation with the server at the Mexican restaurant:

Server: Can I get you ladies some drinks?

Me: I'd like a 22 oz. frozen margarita please

Server: Do you want that on the rocks?

Me: **gobsmacked blank face**

Me: No, frozen please

**sigh**

Life sucks when even drinking stresses you out.

So, I'm happy, can you tell?

We just got the results of Dad's latest scans and YAY no cancer to be found!!!! This is beyond excellent!

We don't know yet if they are going to leave him on low-dose chemo as a precaution or just do regular scans to check for recurrences (he goes to the dr next week) but YAY!!!!!