I've been sitting here for about an hour, trying to write. It isn't that there's nothing to write about. There's plenty enough to write about. I just can't seem to get inspired enough to take the time to write it all out. I'm restless and distracted and . . . it's all about a boy.

( First things first )

I'm supposed to be doing my chores, but my mind is going in circles, so I'm taking a moment to write everything down (and hoping that no one discovers that I'm back in my bedroom when I'm supposed to be five miles away).

( Stating the obvious )

I know why I stayed in Haven now. It always felt like following Amber's advice was the right thing to do. It felt like I was waiting for something, and now I know what it was that I was waiting for - I was waiting for the opportunity to start again. I don't mean that in a melodramatic fashion, but for the first time since it all happened, I see ( Read more... )

Adam went back to the farm. He said that with Amber gone, there's nothing for us here anymore, no reason to stay. But I think that there is. The dreams that I pushed back while dealing with Amber and taking care of her, rose up with a vengeance. They're clear and vivid and I can't ignore them. Sometimes, I see the shades of people when I'm awake ( Read more... )

I'm tired of burying people. I don't want to bury anyone else. Amber went to sleep last night and didn't wake up this morning. Adam and I buried her with her family.

God dammit.

We're losing Amber. I knew that we would, but I didn't expect it to come so quickly. Two nights ago she couldn't eat her dinner, and she lie in her bed in the dark crying while I held her. Adam finally broke down and ventured across town in the dead of night to the druggist; he came back with a prescription for Demerol for Mr. John Ryland. Mr. ( Read more... )

Amber told me that I had to stay here when she's gone. "I don't know how, but I know you need to be here. People need people and they always come together."

I didn't want to think about or talk about her imminent death, no matter how much she may have accepted it. I haven't.

So I changed the subject and she never brought it up again.

Amber greeted me this morning with, "The drug store is probably well stocked. Condoms, pills, and Julie Heath in my biology class, biggest slut ever, swears by the patch. Unless you want to get pregnant, which makes sense. Gotta start the repopulation sometime, right?"

( Speechless )

Once again, I am on the outs with Adam. Of course, unlike Amber, I haven't been grounded, unless you count the fact that I childishly stuck my tongue out at him and went riding out of Haven. It's all because I took Amber for a ride on the Ducati. We both wore helmets and great fun was had by all ( Read more... )

The row never came. I never had the opportunity to bring it up because the need to move, to make contact found us. That very night, I'd only just laid down to sleep when I heard it: a telepathic cry. A Tomorrow Person was crying out, asking if there was anyone left alive ( Read more... )