Today I had to explain to a grown man difference between:

After you fill out all forms...

and

After you fill out "all" forms...Seriously ( Read more... )

So, I mentioned that for xmas I got a bowling ball with my boyfriend's name on itNow, let me state unequivocally that I hate apple as a company. I hate all of their products, I hate the image associated with them, I hate it all. I don't call that shit whatever-crocs for nothing ( Read more... )

Everyone I know -in life- knows what I'm getting for xmas ( Read more... )

Women are vile, dirty things. They are irrational and full of entitlement. They secrete oogie all over the place and don't know how to clean up after themselves. They speak in their own, mangled language, and viciously mock those who cannot do the same ( Read more... )

I was all set to sing the praises of zombie walk... and then I had to take the bus home. Possibly I have mentioned that I hate riding the motherfucking bus? Well I do.

To amuse myself while waiting for the bus amid a mass of unwashed people, I began to make a list of things that are preferable to riding the bus. I will give you the list exactly ( Read more... )

DON'T BE AN ASSHOLE

What is the best way to go about spreading a rumour that there is a child molester in my neighbourhood and he selects his victims by going to the homes with constantly-barking dogs?

Overcrowding
Fuck there are so many people on the bus.

My liver
The bus makes me tired and grouchy. Being tired and grouchy makes me want a drink. Wanting a drink pretty much always results in my having a drink.

I am being uniqueEverybody is "going green" these days. Buck that trend and create some fucking smog! Besides, summer was really ( Read more... )

( One day at the office... )

So on Thursday, I think in the afternoon, I walk into my office and find that the tool has a monitor propped up in his office. You know, so high that I can see the back of it over the wall. "Good gods, what the hell could this be this time?" I wonder to myself. I was thinking he wanted to view two screens at once for... something, and that was ( Read more... )