I debated where to post this, here or tumblr, but I've always wanted to keep my tumblr full of pretty pictures and devoid of my whining. I don't know if there'll be any whining but just in case... ;)

( So I've been living in California for three months now... )

I took off my armor ( Read more... )

My inner self is having a complete meltdown tantrum today. It's really hard to get work done. I feel ignored, blown off, pissed off at expectations that are far beyond my control, expected to be a mind reader again and then feel like they're pissed off because I dare to ask them for confirmations. I feel ashamed, like I have to hide the fact ( Read more... )

So I kinda had a complete breakdown on Monday out of the blue. First I was pissed off because my computer decided to eat an entire section of story, and it wasn't my standard hissing and snarling but full blown psychotic I wanted to murder something ( Read more... )

It's funny how because pain is such a constant part of my life (I'm either in it or I'm scared of being in it), that whenever new pain is added to the mix I crumble into a sobbing pile of hysteria ( Read more... )

I'm back from Cali. Alive, though I'm not so sure I want to be since I triggered an endo flareup and I've been either sick or mostly sick since Sunday. It killed my last day of vacation and ruined sailing and has sent me throwing up every morning, all because I had the audacity to kayakYes, yes, it was against the wind and I was leaning back ( Read more... )

So since I apparently am in incredible pain no matter what I do, even just sitting and breathing, I suppose I can go ahead and work out again. Why try to avoid pain when it's just gonna happen anyway? At least this way I'll get something out of it, right?

I haven't decided because the fear is still pretty damn strong but I'm heavily leaning that

I really, really fucking hate being broken ( Read more... )

You know, "love thyself" is really hard to do when you want to kill your body with fire ( Read more... )

I just wanted to link to this post from Naamah about body size and respect. (Possibly triggering about body image issues ( Read more... )