(no subject)
So I kinda had a complete breakdown on Monday out of the blue. First I was pissed off because my computer decided to eat an entire section of story, and it wasn't my standard hissing and snarling but full blown psychotic I wanted to murder something.
So I ended up going to a walk where I proceeded to sob hysterically as I climbed a hill as fast as I could. It's really hard to breathe when doing that, by the way.
While sobbing my eyes out and getting strange looks from guys walking their dogs, I've decided I can't take it anymore. I can't take living in total fear of being in pain. I've stopped doing anything because I can't predict what'll be next to take me down to the floor. So fuck it, I'm moving again. One foot in front of the other, I'm going to start with walking. To hell with pain I'm going to exercise anyway. I'm not going to live like this anymore. My health is fading, I'm going to kill myself if I keep this up and I hate myself like nothing else.
So it ends. So far so good, two days in a row walking and doing light stretching. This idea may be blown to shit next time I get a flareup but right now I'm going with the plan that if it happens I'll pop a Vicodin and keep. Fucking. Walking.
Hear me roar. Or at least cry hysterically.
So I ended up going to a walk where I proceeded to sob hysterically as I climbed a hill as fast as I could. It's really hard to breathe when doing that, by the way.
While sobbing my eyes out and getting strange looks from guys walking their dogs, I've decided I can't take it anymore. I can't take living in total fear of being in pain. I've stopped doing anything because I can't predict what'll be next to take me down to the floor. So fuck it, I'm moving again. One foot in front of the other, I'm going to start with walking. To hell with pain I'm going to exercise anyway. I'm not going to live like this anymore. My health is fading, I'm going to kill myself if I keep this up and I hate myself like nothing else.
So it ends. So far so good, two days in a row walking and doing light stretching. This idea may be blown to shit next time I get a flareup but right now I'm going with the plan that if it happens I'll pop a Vicodin and keep. Fucking. Walking.
Hear me roar. Or at least cry hysterically.