Who knew? Apparently everyone but you.
"Who was the guy sending you all the comments, he seems to be coming on strong."I asked her?
"Oh, no one just a friend, relax you have nothing to worry about" she said to me.
That was two months ago, a month and a half later we broke up, explanations/excuses (pick your choice) are given, none of which satisfy me, and again, I go back to that guy.
He has nothing to do with this she says...
My heart is torn and my mind is quickly scattering to put together the pieces, sleep is sacrificed, smiles turn to frowns, and I withdraw into myself wondering what happened.
I've known her for over a year now, always honest to each other, a mutual respect between us, even when one made a mistake, the other was forgiven, even if it didn't happen right away; but we were honest to one another. Both experiencing bad break ups in the past. Surely we've learned from these tribulations surely they've made us better people right?
"I would never get with, him I couldn't get with someone who's ass I can kick" She said in the not too distant past.
"Besides, he was the worse kisser I ever had" she mentioned early on in our relationship.
"You look into things too much" She told me just a few days ago.
I ask my friends, they say she cares about you to much to disrespect you like that. That's just her getting caught up in a new friend they tell me.
I made mistakes in our relationship, I was quick to ask for forgiveness, I respected her too much, and my ego was not big enough to let my pride effect how she felt about me. That's what you do in a relationship, hell that's what you do for friends. You respect them too much and value them enough to the point where you own up to your mistakes because the thought of them thinking of you in anything less than the highest regard isn't acceptable to you.
And if you're the type to have people around you who'd lie to you, then well I'm sorry for you. I have many, many close friends none of them would lie to me. Ironically the only one who did is the only one who also said they loved me.
I guess that's some distorted irony.
I knew this person for over a year now, in her adulthood as a woman a person who's experienced life, love, and everything in between. Not some sixteen year old virgin, with preconceived notions about life, love and everything in between, not some sixteen year old who had "relationships" that lasted two weeks, and consisted of nothing but what the two of you did during lunch at school, parents driving you to your dates, asking for allowance, lunch money, school clothing, an extra hour on your curfew, skipping class, smoking cigarettes in the girls room, planning for prom, graduation, and college. Your an adult now, in your twenties, you're more concerned about what your going to do with your life, am I going to have children, is this job for me, knocking out rent, knocking out a car note, trying to find more money for college, trying to find more money in general, sorting out the genuine friends from the flakers, planning the next stage in life, when/where you're moving out, you know, life issues.
When she broke up with me she said that she's losing her best friend, and then broke into tears.
A month and a half later, she's calling me insecure, and deleting me off her myspace. How quickly do we forget?
When she broke up with me she said that she's not going to date anyone for a long while.
As I sat in my car at 2:00 in the morning today, I see her and the guy she never would date came out of her house, I watch as they turn to each other and begin making out by his car.
So much for best friend huh?
So much for being "the deepest relationship you had".
So much for learning from your mistakes.
I was in a rage, I scream and yelled, and cussed, I wanted to do more, but I held back.
How quickly things change in two months.
Two and a half months ago you were writing me love letters. Consistently.
Bringing me Spagetti to work.
Now, you have the gall to call me a coward for saying something through the internet, when you couldn't even tell the truth.
How hypocritical.
The pot calling the kettle black.
At least I was honest.
You called me insecure, and I look into things.
It's only insecure when it isn't there, I'm looking into things because there are things to look into.
You didn't see this coming.
I saw it.
He saw it, hell he knew what he was doing.
Everyone else with eyes and an opinion, saw it too, it's hard to believe the only one who didn't was you.
I expected better from you, when you talked to me you looked forward to the future and what it had in store, not about licking glue sticks.
What a shame.
You say you weren't happy, tha you were content, I say hindsight is always 20/20. There's a lot in the past that says otherwise.
It's easier for the grass to look greener on the other side, when it works a dead end job and has a lot of free time on it's hand, and the other is working and going to college.
It's easier for the grass to look greener on the other side, when he's working to get in your pants, and the others working to take you out.
I tried to be what I thought you wanted.
I just didn't know you wanted a child.
Now i'm here, back at square one wondering what to do.
I missed the girl who played Monopoly on New Year's Eve who helped get me home, the one who helped me make my films for school, the girl who hung out with me and Francis in a movie theatre for four hours watching Grindhouse, who I spent my every free waking moment during the summer of 2007, and thought how funny it was about how affectionate I got when I was a little drunk.
It's funny once upon a time a friend of mine noted how you like to make yourself look like the victim, in response to how you acted the first time we broke up, you were trying to get pity from eveyone. Now you accuse me of the same thing.
Am I sounding too much like the victim here now? Yeah, well guess what? that's kind of the situation, just like when you broke up with me last time.
Except this time you lied to me, repeatedly, and you did it with a smile on your face. Hope that makes you feel good.
Well now, you're out in the open, so the next time you're heartbroken, don't start crying murder. Everyone knows how much your full of shit, and will see right through you.
Who knew? she said
Apparently, everyone but you.