OH NOES!!!
So I know what you're thinking... Well relatively anyways, it's been three days, three days since he found out, since confronting it, three days to let it sink in, three days to stew in his emotions.
But wait... She responded!
What'd she say? How do I feel about it? Am I going to do something, how am I going to respond? Where do I go from here?
To which I say.
I don't know.
Sorry, didn't read it. It'd only piss me off, frustrate me, bring back all those angry thoughts I felt and I don't really want to go there, and also it goes back to the whole math equation analogy I used a few blogs back (Some Disassembly Required). Sometmes you just need to take a step back before moving forward otherwise things will only become more wrong.
From what I have heard though is that she does sound everything from sincere to petty, serious to confused. That's fine I'd rather not get into a war of words, although sometimes the thought is tempting, but thanks to some of you (Lisa, Molly, Lynn, Josh, Francis, Ham, Cyrus, Louie, and Mick) for helping me keep a cool head about things, if I read it I'm sure I'd just be too compelled to reply. Fuck it, I know I would reply, in some shape way or form, I'd say something and things would only get more unncessarily dramatic.
I have noticed that the women's opinion the last couple of day's has been more comforting of late than the guys, and this is NOT to say that my friends are giving me bad advice, in fact they have been givining me quite Spectacular advice, but it seems that when I hear the women talk about it, it really puts things into a clearer perspective, they do remind me to see her side of this from a non threatening, non attacking angle. A third person's perspective that can look at her side while looking at mine, which I do appreciate. During these times I do get caught up in the moment, and can get carried away, so for that: I thank you.
Hey, what do you know? I do have female friends?
Anyways...
That's not to say that it doesn't sting me on some subconcious level. I still seem unable to focus; I have a test tomorrow, and haven't been unable to study since that day. I guess that only the fear of impending doom hours before it's time to take it will be the only thing to over power my slump and force me to begin studying for this damn thing.
Not the most responsible I know, but at times like these, studying simply feels like an act in futility, I can hardly sleep, how am i going to fucking study? I love sleep, I hate studying, you figure that one out.
Of all the superficial things to get caught up in, I find the arrival of Iron Man this Thursday as one of the few things taht get my dilemma's off my mind, that and bombarding you guys with texts and messages asking you how your day's going. It's less than forty eight hours away, and I can't hardly wait!
Also, i learned today that wearing sunglasses in class to use to sleep is useless if your head tilts back and you begin sleeping with your mouth open.
I still have a five paper due next week, nothing special to you, but I find myself constantly reminding myself about it as to not forget.
I should be going to sleep, I have to wake up at 9:00am for friggin back day. Effin ridiculous I tell you.
Actually, I think I'll end it there, don't really have much left to say, I have a lot I should be doing, and just as much that I shouldn't. Hopefully all of you have an awesome day tomorrow.
Peace.