[ Wallace's double has gotten at his 'berry, and is toying around with it. Oh so casually, did this thing just flip on? Certainly didn't mean to do that. The real Wallace is flopped on his bed again, heels of his hands digging into his eyes. He's looking a bit worse for wear than he did initially. Someone didn't get much sleep last night. Similarly
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Comments 94
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Speak of the bitch and the bitch, she doth appear!
What are you -- Who lets you touch things? Because it's not me. [ SNATCHING THE PHONE AWAY ] Oh, hey, he wasn't lying. It is you.
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[ Wallace doesn't answer for a moment, shutting his eyes and rubbing tiredly at one of the lids. ]
And? Do you want a cookie?
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Remember when I said they were evil?
Because I totally remember that.
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Uh-huh. I do recall. And notice how I am still above punching mine for great justice.
He's not evil. He's just being a prick. ... Slightly evilly.
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And then he looks back towards the camera.] But I guess--I mean, if what WhatsHerFace said was true, not that I believe her, but if what she said was true then...if he's a dick, it just means that you...aren't. So at least there's that.
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I try not to invest too much stock in what WhatsHerFace and all bitch conglomerates have to say. [ But he has gotten worse, and that Wallace can't deny. But he CAN just not comment on it. ] He's an ass-buster. A buster of asses. Like me without a filter.
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As exciting as this whole heart to heart cheap trick is....
Have you seen a blond man by the name of Hermes around?
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Searching for your soulmate? Hey, how pretentious do you gotta be for a name like that anyway?
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Maybe I am.
What is so pretentious about my name?
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You go with a god's name and wonder why it's pretentious?
I don't know too many Zeuses or Poseidons or whatever running around.
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Wallace, real Wallace, have I told you lately that you have the patience of a god?
You're the most useful person in this wasteland of idiocy, by the way. Just so you know.
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[ He smiles a bit blearily here, which is hard! He's got a dick roommate for the time being, instilling wriggling doubt in just about everything, and he'd just gotten over telling Ramona that everything was peachy, so that was a bust. ] Thank you, dear. I do try.
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[Yeah, so much for that. This was some rotten peach, you hypocrite!] It totally shows. But seriously, tell that little bitch I'm gonna smack some sense into him if he doesn't watch what he says to you.
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[ He wasn't this bad before, GOSH, what is hypocrisy even. ] Everyone and the smacking around here. I think he's actually fond of that solution, I don't know how it's going to --
[ HELP. The view goes whirling around as Wallace's Shadow plucks it from his hands for his own use. ] What's the matter, Ramona, don't you trust me?
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