Titanic: Chapter Six
~*~
It was nearly 2pm, and Bam hadn’t seen Ville. Not that he’d been looking that hard, how hard could you look for a first class citizen on a ship who was allowed into so many more places than you? He’d resorted to planting himself on the bench near the back of the ship, pulling out a book he’d found under an abandoned sun chair, and pretending to read. After ten minutes or so he truly was reading, finding the distraction comforting. He’d barely slept at all once he got back to his bunk; his mind was much to wild with thoughts of a certain Ville Valo. His mind briefly escaped the book and thought of how Ville had run off, and Bam nearly smacked himself in the forehead with the hardcover novel. Stupid! Stupid Stupid Stupid!! Why did he think it’d be ok to make out with someone like him? An engaged someone! A rich someone! A MAN someone! At the same time, the look Ville had given him said otherwise. So apologetic, so full of uncovered lust, yet…so guilty. Bam knew Ville was overcome with remorse for what he’d done to his fiancée, more likely just his family’s status, but when Ville kissed him again…Bam had to wonder how guilty he was actually feeling, not just how much he thought was required.
Bam shook his head and looked back down to his book, concentrating on the words. They were only going to be on this ship for so long, and Ville couldn’t hide forever.
~*~
An hour after Ville had fallen asleep, he’d woken up and dragged himself back into the bedroom and conked out, which was where he was when Iris threw his door open at quarter to 4.
"Wake up, Ville," she said, voice entirely different than it had been in the morning. Almost apologetic. Ville barely heard her, squinting his eyes closed tightly and rolling over. Iris went over and gently turned the sheets down, revealing his stark white torso. "Come now, its time to wake up. Why are you sleeping still?"
Ville didn’t answer her, but did open his eyes. He rubbed them, groaning as he hit his bruised eye, and stretched. Iris let him stretch like a cat before sitting on the edge of his bed, hands in her lap. She didn’t look at him.
"I’m so sorry." She said softly. Ville struggled to sit up, narrowing his eyes at her.
"You are?" he croaked, voice clogged with sleep.
"Yes. I sincerely am. I never should have hit you." She looked over at him, and Ville could see she was telling the truth, no matter how much he didn’t want to admit it.
He could also see she was on the verge of tears.
"I just wanted everything to be perfect and its not!" she choked, wringing her hands. "You don’t love me, and I…" she paused, looking down, biting her trembling lip. "I just don’t know."
"Iris…" Ville pulled himself out from beneath the covers and sat beside her. "We hardly know each other. That’s why I don’t love you. I don’t even know you."
"I know." She said, sighing with frustration. "Its so un…." She stopped herself.
"Unfair?" Ville looked at her, and she hesitantly nodded. Ville sighed. "I know."
"But there’s nothing we can do about it." She changed her voice, now determined. But for that one second, Ville could see the fear in her eyes, and gained a bit of respect for her. She was human and she did understand, after all.
"We’re just going to have to learn to deal with it." Ville said, and Iris’s shoulders slumped.
"I didn’t want to have to learn to deal with it. I wanted love." She spat, and Ville shrugged, at a loss.
"I’ll try, I promise I’ll try." He said lamely, and Iris got up.
"I can’t promise anything." She mumbled. She cleared her throat, and Ville knew the conversation was over and she’d never admit to any of it after this moment. "Your mother says you can join us for dinner, so start getting dressed in a bit." She said without turning around, and walked out the door.
~*~
Evening fell, and Ville found himself at the dreaded dinner table once more, enduring stares and whispers, not sure if they were gawking at his black eye or just him in general. He poked at his food as more wedding talk ensued; however, noticing Iris wasn’t as ecstatic as she was yesterday.
The wedding would take place in the ship’s chapel, even though their family wasn’t the least bit religious. There would be flowers and music and a grand reception for everyone and a whole bunch of other crap that Ville wondered if he was even invited to, the way he was being ignored. His mother probably thought the wedding would be easier to conduct if Ville just signed some sort of consent form or something and didn’t show up at all. That probably would’ve been easier for Ville as well. Signing a piece of paper was a lot easier than lying to someone’s face about loving and honoring forever.
"Ville!"
"Hm?" Ville tore away from his mind when he noticed everyone looking at him expectantly.
"These kind people would like to know if you’re looking forward to your marriage." Lesi said through her teeth, and Ville blushed, obviously having been zoned out for quite awhile. He looked around, everyone staring back at him. Everyone except Iris, who was staring at her plate instead. Ville gulped and cleared his throat, knowing what he had to do.
"Yes." He said, and Iris snapped her eyes to him. Ville reached over and covered her hand with his. "We’re quite ready." He nodded to Iris encouragingly, and she smiled a little.
They were both quite ready to get this over with.
~*~
After Bam had gone down to the barracks for supper, he spent the remainder of the evening wandering around the ship, watching people. He’d given up looking for Ville, or so he’d convinced himself. However, it was hard to fool anyone when he found himself walking down the gorgeous wrapping stairs towards the grand dining room, eyes open and scanning. He loitered around, ignoring the patronizing glances from the upper class folk. He may not have been allowed in the dining room, but he certainly could stand near it. It had only been a few minutes before he noticed people were starting to leave, and Bam continued to wander about the lobby, slightly overwhelmed by the wealth and prosperity everyone seemed to radiate. One woman had more necklaces draped over her than Bam had ever seen anywhere in general. Bam leaned against the wall and looked down at himself, studying his own clothes. Torn, moth eaten, old. He sighed, brushing at permanent stains on his elderly dinner jacket. Maybe if he had better clothes, Ville wouldn’t have run off like that. More money meant better chances at everything and anything, right? Bam shook his head and smiled to himself, realizing the absurdity of his thoughts. Neither one of them saw each other for their clothes; fuck their clothes, In fact, fuck them right off. Bam had to bite his lip to keep from laughing and he looked up, and his eyes fell on Ville.
He was walking out of the dining room with his fiancée and several other people. His mouth had a slight twitch of a smile on it but his eyes were empty as he walked, arms linked, with Iris and his mother. Bam willed Ville to look at him and he did, and Bam started forward, but stopped when he saw no change in Ville’s eyes. Ville’s smile faded and he averted his gaze to the girl beside him. Bam watched him pass by, seemingly in slow motion, his entire spirit breaking as Ville turned away from him and walked up the stairs, as if he’d never noticed him. Just like everybody else. Bam felt himself shrink into the wall as he fought back unconscious tears. Ville had ignored him, completely ignored him! Why would he do that? Bam turned and watched as Ville and his family disappeared from the lobby and he glared at them, biting his lip.
It was them, it wasn’t Ville. Couldn’t be Ville. It was them who were making him ignore Bam. Of course. Ville couldn’t exactly run into Bam’s arms in their current location, and they certainly couldn’t have a conversation about what happened last night. Bam shoved his hands into his pockets and trudged up the stairs, trying to figure out how the hell to get that man alone.
~*~*~
Sorry it took a little longer than usual, i've been beeezy!! hope you liked!
It was nearly 2pm, and Bam hadn’t seen Ville. Not that he’d been looking that hard, how hard could you look for a first class citizen on a ship who was allowed into so many more places than you? He’d resorted to planting himself on the bench near the back of the ship, pulling out a book he’d found under an abandoned sun chair, and pretending to read. After ten minutes or so he truly was reading, finding the distraction comforting. He’d barely slept at all once he got back to his bunk; his mind was much to wild with thoughts of a certain Ville Valo. His mind briefly escaped the book and thought of how Ville had run off, and Bam nearly smacked himself in the forehead with the hardcover novel. Stupid! Stupid Stupid Stupid!! Why did he think it’d be ok to make out with someone like him? An engaged someone! A rich someone! A MAN someone! At the same time, the look Ville had given him said otherwise. So apologetic, so full of uncovered lust, yet…so guilty. Bam knew Ville was overcome with remorse for what he’d done to his fiancée, more likely just his family’s status, but when Ville kissed him again…Bam had to wonder how guilty he was actually feeling, not just how much he thought was required.
Bam shook his head and looked back down to his book, concentrating on the words. They were only going to be on this ship for so long, and Ville couldn’t hide forever.
~*~
An hour after Ville had fallen asleep, he’d woken up and dragged himself back into the bedroom and conked out, which was where he was when Iris threw his door open at quarter to 4.
"Wake up, Ville," she said, voice entirely different than it had been in the morning. Almost apologetic. Ville barely heard her, squinting his eyes closed tightly and rolling over. Iris went over and gently turned the sheets down, revealing his stark white torso. "Come now, its time to wake up. Why are you sleeping still?"
Ville didn’t answer her, but did open his eyes. He rubbed them, groaning as he hit his bruised eye, and stretched. Iris let him stretch like a cat before sitting on the edge of his bed, hands in her lap. She didn’t look at him.
"I’m so sorry." She said softly. Ville struggled to sit up, narrowing his eyes at her.
"You are?" he croaked, voice clogged with sleep.
"Yes. I sincerely am. I never should have hit you." She looked over at him, and Ville could see she was telling the truth, no matter how much he didn’t want to admit it.
He could also see she was on the verge of tears.
"I just wanted everything to be perfect and its not!" she choked, wringing her hands. "You don’t love me, and I…" she paused, looking down, biting her trembling lip. "I just don’t know."
"Iris…" Ville pulled himself out from beneath the covers and sat beside her. "We hardly know each other. That’s why I don’t love you. I don’t even know you."
"I know." She said, sighing with frustration. "Its so un…." She stopped herself.
"Unfair?" Ville looked at her, and she hesitantly nodded. Ville sighed. "I know."
"But there’s nothing we can do about it." She changed her voice, now determined. But for that one second, Ville could see the fear in her eyes, and gained a bit of respect for her. She was human and she did understand, after all.
"We’re just going to have to learn to deal with it." Ville said, and Iris’s shoulders slumped.
"I didn’t want to have to learn to deal with it. I wanted love." She spat, and Ville shrugged, at a loss.
"I’ll try, I promise I’ll try." He said lamely, and Iris got up.
"I can’t promise anything." She mumbled. She cleared her throat, and Ville knew the conversation was over and she’d never admit to any of it after this moment. "Your mother says you can join us for dinner, so start getting dressed in a bit." She said without turning around, and walked out the door.
~*~
Evening fell, and Ville found himself at the dreaded dinner table once more, enduring stares and whispers, not sure if they were gawking at his black eye or just him in general. He poked at his food as more wedding talk ensued; however, noticing Iris wasn’t as ecstatic as she was yesterday.
The wedding would take place in the ship’s chapel, even though their family wasn’t the least bit religious. There would be flowers and music and a grand reception for everyone and a whole bunch of other crap that Ville wondered if he was even invited to, the way he was being ignored. His mother probably thought the wedding would be easier to conduct if Ville just signed some sort of consent form or something and didn’t show up at all. That probably would’ve been easier for Ville as well. Signing a piece of paper was a lot easier than lying to someone’s face about loving and honoring forever.
"Ville!"
"Hm?" Ville tore away from his mind when he noticed everyone looking at him expectantly.
"These kind people would like to know if you’re looking forward to your marriage." Lesi said through her teeth, and Ville blushed, obviously having been zoned out for quite awhile. He looked around, everyone staring back at him. Everyone except Iris, who was staring at her plate instead. Ville gulped and cleared his throat, knowing what he had to do.
"Yes." He said, and Iris snapped her eyes to him. Ville reached over and covered her hand with his. "We’re quite ready." He nodded to Iris encouragingly, and she smiled a little.
They were both quite ready to get this over with.
~*~
After Bam had gone down to the barracks for supper, he spent the remainder of the evening wandering around the ship, watching people. He’d given up looking for Ville, or so he’d convinced himself. However, it was hard to fool anyone when he found himself walking down the gorgeous wrapping stairs towards the grand dining room, eyes open and scanning. He loitered around, ignoring the patronizing glances from the upper class folk. He may not have been allowed in the dining room, but he certainly could stand near it. It had only been a few minutes before he noticed people were starting to leave, and Bam continued to wander about the lobby, slightly overwhelmed by the wealth and prosperity everyone seemed to radiate. One woman had more necklaces draped over her than Bam had ever seen anywhere in general. Bam leaned against the wall and looked down at himself, studying his own clothes. Torn, moth eaten, old. He sighed, brushing at permanent stains on his elderly dinner jacket. Maybe if he had better clothes, Ville wouldn’t have run off like that. More money meant better chances at everything and anything, right? Bam shook his head and smiled to himself, realizing the absurdity of his thoughts. Neither one of them saw each other for their clothes; fuck their clothes, In fact, fuck them right off. Bam had to bite his lip to keep from laughing and he looked up, and his eyes fell on Ville.
He was walking out of the dining room with his fiancée and several other people. His mouth had a slight twitch of a smile on it but his eyes were empty as he walked, arms linked, with Iris and his mother. Bam willed Ville to look at him and he did, and Bam started forward, but stopped when he saw no change in Ville’s eyes. Ville’s smile faded and he averted his gaze to the girl beside him. Bam watched him pass by, seemingly in slow motion, his entire spirit breaking as Ville turned away from him and walked up the stairs, as if he’d never noticed him. Just like everybody else. Bam felt himself shrink into the wall as he fought back unconscious tears. Ville had ignored him, completely ignored him! Why would he do that? Bam turned and watched as Ville and his family disappeared from the lobby and he glared at them, biting his lip.
It was them, it wasn’t Ville. Couldn’t be Ville. It was them who were making him ignore Bam. Of course. Ville couldn’t exactly run into Bam’s arms in their current location, and they certainly couldn’t have a conversation about what happened last night. Bam shoved his hands into his pockets and trudged up the stairs, trying to figure out how the hell to get that man alone.
~*~*~
Sorry it took a little longer than usual, i've been beeezy!! hope you liked!