Should I be good and post the next chapter super quick like? Or make you suffer through the weekend?
Title: Love On The Rocks
Author: myforgottenpain
Pairing: Vam
Rating: I'm going with PG-13 for crude humor, foul language, and alcohol references.
Summary: Bam's new found friendship with Ville had made him question parts of his life he has long since repressed. Through an unexpected visit from the Finnish rock star, many bottles of beer, and a special tattoo; Bam must decide if he wants to embrace a side of himself that he has always longed to explore.
Disclaimer: I don't own anything connected to HIM, Ville Valo, or Bam Margera. Nor do I imply that in reality they are anything but friends. I, however, could not pass up a great idea for a fan fiction!
Authors Notes: I don't know if I'm actually covering any real life time lines/events correctly. I was just going with what I thought would be an interesting fan fic.
*I'm saving Jonna/Missy action for later... this is before them*
It didn't take Bam long to locate Ville. He was laying on Bam's quarter pipe, staring up at the sky. Bam paused next to it and gazed down at the other man. Ville didn't say anything to Bam, but moved over, sitting up now. He of course didn't /need/ to move since there were plenty of room, but it was a silent gesture to join him, which Bam excepted. He sat down in front of Ville and popped one of the beers open, handing it to Ville.
Ville took it and held it in both of his hands, staring at it. Bam popped one open for himself and took a drink before putting it down. What was going on? It just seemed like something was very wrong. Ville was usually happy... and well drunk by this point. They usually were both drunk. But he just didn't seem interested in drinking at all. Which was a shocking thing in itself considering Ville needed alcohol like he needed air to breath.
There was silence again, as Bam chewed on his lip trying to think of what to say. "We broke up..." Ville finally said, no real sadness in his voice. He picked up his beer finally and took a long drink from it. It made him frown more. He hung his head, hiding his face behind his long hair. Bam frowned, "oh Ville.... I'm so..." He reached out to place his hand on Ville's shoulder, but the older man shook his head. "No, she deserves better." He replied, not wanting to look at Bam. Loosing his most recent 'girlfriend'* wasn't what was tearing his heart out, it was the yearning he couldn't stop for the man in front of him.
Bam lowered his hand and looked at his beer. "Why would you say something like that?" Bam asked softly, not understanding what wasn't perfect about the other man. "I mean... sure you tour a lot but..." Ville winced slightly, like it was hurting him that Bam didn't see what was wrong. They both lowered their heads again. "Its not that... I'm not there for her emotionally... I could never love her the way she needs to be. She deserves more then a drunk asshole.."
The corner of Bam's lips turned up in a half smile, "thats what everyone says about me and Jenn.... the drunk asshole part anyways." Ville couldn't help but chuckle, "its different for you and Jenn. You two... really love....one another." Now that had hurt and even Bam could tell there was some strain in Ville's voice when he said that. Ville took a longer drink from his beer and was silent until Bam huffed at him. "Please... I think everyone knows we drive each other insane. Even you have to see it. But I appreciate it anyways. I know you guys put up with it because you think it makes me happy."
Ville looked up in shock at what Bam just said, waiting for the other man to finish his drink before questioning it. But the look on Ville's face was enough. "Me and Jenn are more..." He looked for the right words to describe it. "Fuck friends then lovers." He looked down at his bottle, picking at the label. Ville watched his fingers, knowing that Bam was nervous when he started picking at things.
"But you two seemed so..." "Happy?" Bam asked, adding in a bitter laugh. "Right, well I'm really good at acting. I act like a spoiled ungrateful child to my parents on tv. I pretend to be a dumb asshole. I pretend... I pretend to be happy." His voice lowered as he diverted his eyes. Trying to find anything but those green pools to look at. He found Ville's hands instead, which didn't help, since he wanted to just reach out and hold them.
Ville laughed bitterly and drained his beer, "then we're both fucked." He commented and Bam sighed, raising his own beer to his lips. "Amen to that." He drained his beer and they tossed the empty bottles into the grass. They each grabbed their own beers and cracked them open, clinking them together before taking drinks from them. "Is that what has been eating at you all evening?" Bam asked.
Ville nodded, "one of the things anyways. You know... I think she knew that I didn't love her. I just... couldn't make myself do it." Not when I love you, Ville thought bitterly. Bam nodded, "yea, I know what you mean. I'm mostly with Jenn because my parents worry about me so much. Not that being with her has made them worry any less. Its a loose, loose situation. But I thought I could convince myself that I loved her and we could work things out enough to get married." Ville felt really bad for dragging Bam into his petty problems when Bam was weighed down by so much more.
Then something clicked in Ville's brain. His face scrunched up as he tried to make sense of what he was thinking. Bam sipped on his beer as he waited for Ville to connect one and one together. Ville attempted to vocalize his thoughts a couple of times and failed each time. Finally he said, "why would you have to get married for your parents? You're young... you have plenty of time to find the right woman to settle down and have fat babies with?"
Bam chuckled and leaned back on his elbows, legs out stretched. "Jenn is the best I deserve. I have too many dirty little secrets to find some one better." He replied, pulling more of the label off. Ville leaned forward more and for the first time there was a sparkle in his eyes. "I thought I knew all of your secrets? Dirty or otherwise." There was a playful undertone to the comment that Bam had missed all evening. "Well... its good to keep you guessing sometimes. The mystery makes things interesting..." He offered with a playful grin that Ville thankfully returned. "Your such a dumbass." Ville replied, shaking his head.
Ville laid down on his side, propping himself up on one elbow. Bam moved so he could lay down too, chuckling more. "Come on! We've barely had anything to drink all evening. We should be shit faced right now!" He announced happily, wanting to liven things up and definitely change the subject. Ville smiled softly, "why? So you can get me drunk and take me to bed? Oh thats right... you don't remember that running joke." Ville replied, meaning it as a joke. One that they had all shared, but something changed in Bam's face. He was reserved all of a sudden, as if weighing an important decision. The sound of paper ripping signaled another chuck of the beer label was gone.
Ville sat up a little, concerned now more then ever, "whats wrong Bam Bam?" He asked softly. Bam sighed a little, sitting up but not meeting his friends gaze. "Maybe.... Maybe..." He tried, fighting the surge of emotions that were flooding his body. "Maybe... I didn't always... forget that." He offered softly, picking more at the paper that was really stuck to his bottle.
Ville was shocked by this statement, he mouthed the questions that were racing through his mind. He had assumed that the only reason Bam had acted like that was because he didn't remember it. He was drunk... and wouldn't remember it. But if he remembered it... and he knew that Ville remembered it. Then... then why did he continue doing it? Novak enjoyed getting drunk and naked. Did Bam enjoy....? He struggled for a moment to clear his thoughts and scooted closer to Bam. He leaned in so he could look at Bam's face.
Bam looked like he was on the verge of breaking down in tears and the sight made Ville want to cry too. He shook his head as if knowing already what Ville wanted to ask. "I should have told you a long time ago..." Bam replied softly, almost mournfully Ville thought. "I should have been honest with you... but... I wasn't even honest with myself." Bam added, truthfully he still wasn't, but he felt closer to the truth now then ever before. Bam took a deep breath as he tried to remain in control of what he was saying and feeling.
Ville looked away this time, "I haven't exactly been honest with you either Bam." He replied just above a whisper. "But... I don't understand. You knew getting drunk with me would end up in us kissing..." Ville wasn't able to finish his question, Bam was already speaking. His voice was strained, loosing grip on what he was holding back. "I didn't want to ruin our friendship... by.... by..." He bite down on his bottom lip. This was it. If he said what he was about to say there was no turning back. Nothing would ever be the same and the life he had always believed he /had/ to live would be thrown aside. "..by admitting I really liked it." He whispered, already starting to get up and leave. He wanted far away from Ville in case he had just made the biggest mistake of his life.
http://community.livejournal.com/__vam/2996951.html#cutid1
http://community.livejournal.com/__vam/2996951.html#cutid1
http://community.livejournal.com/__vam/3005780.html#cutid1
http://community.livejournal.com/__vam/3007869.html#cutid1
http://community.livejournal.com/__vam/3013698.html#cutid1
http://community.livejournal.com/__vam/3018401.html#cutid1
http://community.livejournal.com/__vam/3025999.html
http://community.livejournal.com/__vam/3034426.html#cutid1
Author: myforgottenpain
Pairing: Vam
Rating: I'm going with PG-13 for crude humor, foul language, and alcohol references.
Summary: Bam's new found friendship with Ville had made him question parts of his life he has long since repressed. Through an unexpected visit from the Finnish rock star, many bottles of beer, and a special tattoo; Bam must decide if he wants to embrace a side of himself that he has always longed to explore.
Disclaimer: I don't own anything connected to HIM, Ville Valo, or Bam Margera. Nor do I imply that in reality they are anything but friends. I, however, could not pass up a great idea for a fan fiction!
Authors Notes: I don't know if I'm actually covering any real life time lines/events correctly. I was just going with what I thought would be an interesting fan fic.
*I'm saving Jonna/Missy action for later... this is before them*
It didn't take Bam long to locate Ville. He was laying on Bam's quarter pipe, staring up at the sky. Bam paused next to it and gazed down at the other man. Ville didn't say anything to Bam, but moved over, sitting up now. He of course didn't /need/ to move since there were plenty of room, but it was a silent gesture to join him, which Bam excepted. He sat down in front of Ville and popped one of the beers open, handing it to Ville.
Ville took it and held it in both of his hands, staring at it. Bam popped one open for himself and took a drink before putting it down. What was going on? It just seemed like something was very wrong. Ville was usually happy... and well drunk by this point. They usually were both drunk. But he just didn't seem interested in drinking at all. Which was a shocking thing in itself considering Ville needed alcohol like he needed air to breath.
There was silence again, as Bam chewed on his lip trying to think of what to say. "We broke up..." Ville finally said, no real sadness in his voice. He picked up his beer finally and took a long drink from it. It made him frown more. He hung his head, hiding his face behind his long hair. Bam frowned, "oh Ville.... I'm so..." He reached out to place his hand on Ville's shoulder, but the older man shook his head. "No, she deserves better." He replied, not wanting to look at Bam. Loosing his most recent 'girlfriend'* wasn't what was tearing his heart out, it was the yearning he couldn't stop for the man in front of him.
Bam lowered his hand and looked at his beer. "Why would you say something like that?" Bam asked softly, not understanding what wasn't perfect about the other man. "I mean... sure you tour a lot but..." Ville winced slightly, like it was hurting him that Bam didn't see what was wrong. They both lowered their heads again. "Its not that... I'm not there for her emotionally... I could never love her the way she needs to be. She deserves more then a drunk asshole.."
The corner of Bam's lips turned up in a half smile, "thats what everyone says about me and Jenn.... the drunk asshole part anyways." Ville couldn't help but chuckle, "its different for you and Jenn. You two... really love....one another." Now that had hurt and even Bam could tell there was some strain in Ville's voice when he said that. Ville took a longer drink from his beer and was silent until Bam huffed at him. "Please... I think everyone knows we drive each other insane. Even you have to see it. But I appreciate it anyways. I know you guys put up with it because you think it makes me happy."
Ville looked up in shock at what Bam just said, waiting for the other man to finish his drink before questioning it. But the look on Ville's face was enough. "Me and Jenn are more..." He looked for the right words to describe it. "Fuck friends then lovers." He looked down at his bottle, picking at the label. Ville watched his fingers, knowing that Bam was nervous when he started picking at things.
"But you two seemed so..." "Happy?" Bam asked, adding in a bitter laugh. "Right, well I'm really good at acting. I act like a spoiled ungrateful child to my parents on tv. I pretend to be a dumb asshole. I pretend... I pretend to be happy." His voice lowered as he diverted his eyes. Trying to find anything but those green pools to look at. He found Ville's hands instead, which didn't help, since he wanted to just reach out and hold them.
Ville laughed bitterly and drained his beer, "then we're both fucked." He commented and Bam sighed, raising his own beer to his lips. "Amen to that." He drained his beer and they tossed the empty bottles into the grass. They each grabbed their own beers and cracked them open, clinking them together before taking drinks from them. "Is that what has been eating at you all evening?" Bam asked.
Ville nodded, "one of the things anyways. You know... I think she knew that I didn't love her. I just... couldn't make myself do it." Not when I love you, Ville thought bitterly. Bam nodded, "yea, I know what you mean. I'm mostly with Jenn because my parents worry about me so much. Not that being with her has made them worry any less. Its a loose, loose situation. But I thought I could convince myself that I loved her and we could work things out enough to get married." Ville felt really bad for dragging Bam into his petty problems when Bam was weighed down by so much more.
Then something clicked in Ville's brain. His face scrunched up as he tried to make sense of what he was thinking. Bam sipped on his beer as he waited for Ville to connect one and one together. Ville attempted to vocalize his thoughts a couple of times and failed each time. Finally he said, "why would you have to get married for your parents? You're young... you have plenty of time to find the right woman to settle down and have fat babies with?"
Bam chuckled and leaned back on his elbows, legs out stretched. "Jenn is the best I deserve. I have too many dirty little secrets to find some one better." He replied, pulling more of the label off. Ville leaned forward more and for the first time there was a sparkle in his eyes. "I thought I knew all of your secrets? Dirty or otherwise." There was a playful undertone to the comment that Bam had missed all evening. "Well... its good to keep you guessing sometimes. The mystery makes things interesting..." He offered with a playful grin that Ville thankfully returned. "Your such a dumbass." Ville replied, shaking his head.
Ville laid down on his side, propping himself up on one elbow. Bam moved so he could lay down too, chuckling more. "Come on! We've barely had anything to drink all evening. We should be shit faced right now!" He announced happily, wanting to liven things up and definitely change the subject. Ville smiled softly, "why? So you can get me drunk and take me to bed? Oh thats right... you don't remember that running joke." Ville replied, meaning it as a joke. One that they had all shared, but something changed in Bam's face. He was reserved all of a sudden, as if weighing an important decision. The sound of paper ripping signaled another chuck of the beer label was gone.
Ville sat up a little, concerned now more then ever, "whats wrong Bam Bam?" He asked softly. Bam sighed a little, sitting up but not meeting his friends gaze. "Maybe.... Maybe..." He tried, fighting the surge of emotions that were flooding his body. "Maybe... I didn't always... forget that." He offered softly, picking more at the paper that was really stuck to his bottle.
Ville was shocked by this statement, he mouthed the questions that were racing through his mind. He had assumed that the only reason Bam had acted like that was because he didn't remember it. He was drunk... and wouldn't remember it. But if he remembered it... and he knew that Ville remembered it. Then... then why did he continue doing it? Novak enjoyed getting drunk and naked. Did Bam enjoy....? He struggled for a moment to clear his thoughts and scooted closer to Bam. He leaned in so he could look at Bam's face.
Bam looked like he was on the verge of breaking down in tears and the sight made Ville want to cry too. He shook his head as if knowing already what Ville wanted to ask. "I should have told you a long time ago..." Bam replied softly, almost mournfully Ville thought. "I should have been honest with you... but... I wasn't even honest with myself." Bam added, truthfully he still wasn't, but he felt closer to the truth now then ever before. Bam took a deep breath as he tried to remain in control of what he was saying and feeling.
Ville looked away this time, "I haven't exactly been honest with you either Bam." He replied just above a whisper. "But... I don't understand. You knew getting drunk with me would end up in us kissing..." Ville wasn't able to finish his question, Bam was already speaking. His voice was strained, loosing grip on what he was holding back. "I didn't want to ruin our friendship... by.... by..." He bite down on his bottom lip. This was it. If he said what he was about to say there was no turning back. Nothing would ever be the same and the life he had always believed he /had/ to live would be thrown aside. "..by admitting I really liked it." He whispered, already starting to get up and leave. He wanted far away from Ville in case he had just made the biggest mistake of his life.
http://community.livejournal.com/__vam/2996951.html#cutid1
http://community.livejournal.com/__vam/2996951.html#cutid1
http://community.livejournal.com/__vam/3005780.html#cutid1
http://community.livejournal.com/__vam/3007869.html#cutid1
http://community.livejournal.com/__vam/3013698.html#cutid1
http://community.livejournal.com/__vam/3018401.html#cutid1
http://community.livejournal.com/__vam/3025999.html
http://community.livejournal.com/__vam/3034426.html#cutid1