http://users.livejournal.com/_paraphernalia/

i thought i had a hold on things. seeing everything for what it was etc. you're awful and i am seeing that. but i am misinterpreting everything else. shut up be quiet.

looking back as unhappy as i claimed to be, i was fine. now i am not fine. things do not work out, if i could put a more positive spin on things i would. when i leave here im going to think the same thing. i was fine. i just feel things could be better, i could be happier. somewhere else? even though i know thats a complete lie. i have always ( Read more... )

there is a difference between the feeling you get the moment right before you walk into a building and the feeling you get when leaving. god, what do i have to do, oh i can't wait for warm air. but you must move your arms. i miss my dad i miss hawaii so freakingg much. everyone is the same, i cant put this into words in any sort of way. i love ( Read more... )

 i can not handle any of this. no, i DO NOT WANT to handle any of this. i am actually not a person and the only thing i want to do is hang out with my best friend play rummy drink milkshakes and shop for furniture, there is only so much time there is only so much time.

i am so overly concerned with money, when i really have no reason to be. at least not in september. i realize getting a job would actually make all of those feelings go away but frankly i am too lazy and honestly who really cares about debt because the entire country is in debt. but i have been taught better by my parents. i could say i'm lucky. i ( Read more... )

i've talked with enough homeless people at the bus stop. it's hardly insightful.  a trailer home domestic violence exibit, you have to have an appointment , you have to call a 480 number. it would just be so nice if it would rain

listen and understand.
i can not stop thinking about what huge mistakes i have made and might be making.
i'm scared to death but i do not have anyone who will listen, i'm sure you would understand.
i am very much alone.
as i will always be, i suppose.

i get what i give but no one can tell where the sequence started. new days dont bring new things it seems. there are two bugs, two always two and growing closer. it is so easy for me to complain and criticize every person in my life right now. all i am finding is faults. everything about me has been criticized ive been broken down disrespected and ( Read more... )

like i'd invented the word fuck just to insult her. get the fuck out of the bathroom. it did not cost forty dollars for that, i'm not giving you money. and i almost lost my wallet. "what did you do to her christine?" haha. nothing, not a thing. i do not have anyone to talk to unless i want to be criticized or torn apart. fuck you. fuck you for your ( Read more... )