Is this the end of LJ?

Trying my hardest to back things up. Not sure I have one. If I do it's very old.

I'm scheduled to get the covid vaccine tomorrow. My mom asked me if i was excited. I told her I wasn't really. I actually feel a bit of anxiety. Mainly cause I've only been in a handful of places this year, like, count on one hand number of places.

The truth is i was a paranoid shut in before covid and all it has really done is hasten my descent ( Read more... )

I think about the medical things I endured as a kid. So many times family, friends, whoever have commented "oh you were so brave. so resilient." I say "oh yea. thank you." but a lot of the time I think bravery or courage had zero to do with it. The things I had to go through were going to happen whether I liked it or not. There was little choice ( Read more... )

I am a very confused individual. 

I don't feel much today. I see a lot of people very hopeful about the new presidency. While I am glad trump is out of office. The same problems remain and my cynicism about politics in general leaves me feeling numb. I don't have high hopes. I'm just waiting to see how it all plays out from my tiny little corner of the world.

sigh. i dunno.

I was reminded today that it's been ten years since I almost died of respiratory failure. Ten years since I spent weeks in the ICU. Shipped to Seattle to see specialists. Ten years since I watched them scratch their heads as to why I was going through all this. Months on oxygen 24/7, now unable to sleep without a bipap machine. Ten years.

I think ( Read more... )

The highlight of my new years eve was doing the animal crossing event at midnight. That's my life. Those are my priorities. Spending time with my digital pals.

Christmas was decent. Even though I felt like I was going through the motions more so than ever this year. I feel pretty numb these days. Honestly could not get into any sort of Christmas ( Read more... )

I toyed with the idea of changing the name of my LJ to the more common name I use across all my other social media. But then I thought that maybe I like that this is the last place I still use this name.

I haven't used this name anywhere else in almost 15 years. It makes things feel anonymous. Even though if someone really wanted to find this and ( Read more... )

I've been looking through my old entries and I'm kind of shocked by how candid I was. Honestly kind of glad I basically left this screen name behind so not many could find this place unless they dug a little bit.

I've thought about returning to LJ on and off during the years. I've revisited my old posts from time to time. Seeing when i posted all ( Read more... )

Spam.

Spam prompted me to look at my livejournal for the first time in like...5 years?

It's been ages since i've been here. I just that one person on my friends list actually posts here still. I don't know if they are friends with me. But it was surreal. How the hell is this thing 20 years old?

I just looked through some old posts and saw cryptic ( Read more... )