Eight Sundays ago

[zoe_1418]

It's been eight weeks since my mother died. And as I often have done on those Sundays since, I was awake around 5:30 this morning. But my mourning mood has mostly come to me later, as I've been spending the day alone, cleaning and doing laundry and doing dishes and doing little things for the sake of grief and remembrance: sent a message to a

Comments

[mamculuna]

That's very sad, but also very loving. Grief keeps us closer for a little while longer, doesn't it.

My biggest comfort after both my father and later my mother died was beginning to realize that now they lived in my heart and mind the way they were when life was best for them, and that the hard last years were gone. But I know it's different for everyone.

[zoe_1418]

I wonder if that will happen for me -- it might someday after my dad is gone, because these last years for him are hard indeed. But my mother's last years, although very hard in some ways, were for me some of the best years with her, as our relationship changed in some ways that were a blessing.

[mamculuna]

Maybe I mentioned this before. My relationship with my mother got better when the power conflicts ended--when I was clearly independent, and she didn't any longer feel the need to control/be responsible for my life. It was much better.

One of my treasured possessions is a note she wrote then--"I couldn't have wished for a better friend." I was glad that we found that place, because before then, there were struggles.

[zoe_1418]

I got more clearly independent fairly late in life, myself... and it definitely improved things with my mom.

[singingnettle]

*hug*

[zoe_1418]

Thank you.

[daisydumont]

I continued to feel Gerry's death at 2:39 PM on Saturdays for well over a year. Even now, sometimes I stop and look at the clock on a Saturday afternoon. It's not even a conscious decision to do that. Our subconscious continues, as you said elsewhere, to honor the one who left.

[zoe_1418]

And I'm glad it does. thanks.

[sarahmichigan]

Aw, I like the magnetic poetry tribute.

*hugs*

[zoe_1418]

Thanks. Nothing much had happened with our refrigerator magnets lately, so it was nice...