Eight Sundays ago

[zoe_1418]

It's been eight weeks since my mother died. And as I often have done on those Sundays since, I was awake around 5:30 this morning. But my mourning mood has mostly come to me later, as I've been spending the day alone, cleaning and doing laundry and doing dishes and doing little things for the sake of grief and remembrance: sent a message to a cousin who had brought food, place some photos around, including one on the fridge surrounded with poetry magnets with words like "kind" and "good" and "worry" (because she always did ;-), and "brave" and "God's child" and "my angel" and "you died" and "sorrow." And "heal" and "after."

I'm tearful today and missing her, and glad that I am -- that I can continue to feel it. I am not ready to stop grieving anytime soon.