META: 'How to End the World': Sharing Blame & Responsibilities in the context of Choice & Free Will
I needed a post for this, it’s gotten too big and consumed too much of my brain this week. This started as a culmination of my thoughts on a number of metas this week in an attempt to understand my own position, and sorta exploded into a bunch of thinky thoughts of my own.
Up to this point, given what we've gotten so far, it’s sometimes hard to think that the show is doing anything but saying Dean is right, Sam was wrong. And I can't help but think, 'Wait! Is that really the whole story?'
This show has always, from day one, done something really awesome in their arguments and conversations. And that is maintaining that neither brother is completely right or completely wrong. I’ve always praised it. And I think the situation is no different here.
Blame is running around all over the place. Sam was obviously wrong. He had a choice and he made the wrong one. No, it was Dean’s fault really. He started it all. No, it was Sam’s fault, you can’t blame Dean. Blahblahblahlbahblah.
I’m gonna offer up an idea. How about this? Neither brother was completely right or completely wrong.
See, there’s been something that’s been bothering me since the finale about Choice and its alignment with Sam. Ruby told Sam he didn't need the feather to fly, that it was all him and his choices that got him there. And because we all think, if someone said it, it must be true, it gives everyone the freedom to blame Sam left and right. Sam can’t be trusted. Sam can’t even trust himself. He had choice, freewill and look at what he did with it. He chose wrong. Made bad choices. And on and on and on. I cringe when I hear all of this.
choice: noun. the act of choosing; selection; the right, power, or chance to choose; option; a person or thing chosen; the best or most preferable part
free will: noun. free and independent choice; voluntary decision; freedom of humans to make choices that are not determined by prior causes or by divine intervention; the power of making free choices unconstrained by external agencies
Because here's the thing. For a while now, the show has been using choice and free will interchangeably. Kripke tells us the show is about fate vs. free will. And the show constantly discusses a person's choice to not accept their predetermined fate. But if we look closely, it really not correct to say 'choice' is equivalent to 'free will'. In fact, 'free will' is a FREE choice. And a FREE choice is that which has not been determined by prior causes or divine forces.
I would submit that Ruby was misleading in her assertion that it was Sam's choices alone which led him to kill Lilith and start the apocalypse. (Again! Remember 'Jus in Bello'?)
Of course, there are two blames at work here. What Sam blames himself for: Rising Lucifer and starting the apocalypse. And what Dean blames Sam for: Betraying him by siding with Ruby over his own brother.
And so there are only two moments that really matter. Let's take them one at a time.
Starting The Apocalypse
If we're talking about what CHOICES Sam had made last year, leading him to start the apocalypse, I really think we need to look in terms of what choices Sam was given. What did he know? And Sam himself knew three things:
#1. Lilith was trying to bring on the apocalypse.
#2. He could obtain the power to stop/kill her.
#3. The angels were failing at trying to stop her.
Effectively, it was not just Ruby that fed him this information. The Angels backed this up. Bobby believed it. Sam believed it. Dean believed it. And ultimately, Ruby set up a Hobson's Choice for Sam, an apparently free choice in which only one option is really available. In this case, use this power to save the world, or do nothing and watch the world end. Given the information he was given, it's hard to think any of his free choices prior to the finale were necessarily 'wrong'. He was hurting no one else but demons, even helping save the people possessed, at the expense of his own. But he practically weighed out his choices and rationally arrived at the decision that it was worth it, given the Hobson's Choice he was given.
Sure, one could say that Sam was drinking demon blood, and that he should have known it would lead to nowhere good. But then one would also have to admit that Dean went to a demon to bring Sam back from the dead, and that he should have known that would lead to nowhere good as well. They’re equal on that plane, imo.
And so I would submit that, in the end there was only one choice of Sam’s that really mattered. Deciding to drink the nurse dry. Up to that point, he had hurt no one but himself. This was his last choice to go through with it. Sacrifice an innocent to supposedly save the world. The very same decision he was faced with in 'Jus in Bello' that Dean had so ferociously said no to. And Sam knew it. "Maybe Dean was right all along." So he takes one last moment to decide whether he should do this. To make his choice. He stops, and listens to Dean's voicemail to hinge his choice on.
And that choice was taken from him.
I wholeheartedly believe that had Sam received the correct voicemail of Dean apologizing and calling him his brother, he would not have gone through with it. It was in receiving the fake message provided by the angels with Dean disowning him and prepared to kill him, that he decided to go through with his suicide mission. The fact that it was the angels that fed him that message only confirms that Sam’s last choice was not really HIS choice at all. He was robbed of that last choice, by not being given the truth. Had Dean's real message gotten to Sam at that moment, he would not have felt like he had nothing left in the world. And thus willing to destroy himself in “saving” the world. Drinking that nurse was Sam’s suicide. He didn’t think he’d survive killing Lilith. The fact that he did and now has to deal with the consequences of it is something he had not been prepared for, (and in fact, similar to Bobby's own attempted suicide last episode).
So really, we can conclude the brothers fracture led to the apocalypse. I think Dean realizes that. Had he not left Sam, it wouldn't have happened. He says "we caused this mess, we're gonna have to clean it up". He owns that responsibility with Sam.
What Dean takes exception to is Sam choosing Ruby over his own brother, as he says.
The problem is, it's not exactly the full story of how last year unfolded.
Picking Sides
My default mode while watching SPN has always been watching and understanding under Dean's shoulders. I'm not sure whether it's because my own POV matches Dean's or whether it's the structure of the show as a whole. Nonetheless, it happens. So, after watching 4.21 last May absolutely CRUSHED for Dean beyond belief, I decided to rerun the whole season in an attempt to understand Sam's state of mind in Season Four before the finale aired. What I found surprised me completely.
If the MOTW's of Season Four showed anything, it's that monsters and bullies are MADE. Out of their own choices, *and* the choices of people around them. We saw this in 4.04 when Travis's attempt to kill the man's wife was the last trigger to turn him into a monster. In 4.05, the Dracula!Shapeshifter lamented about his father beating him with a shovel and calling him monster, people finding him despite running, and being responsible. In 4.06, the sheriff and his friends brutal killing of Luther made him into a monster. In 4.08, the bullied boy wishes to become superstrong in order to bully his oppressors. In 4.13, Dirk was a kind boy who's mother's death left him with a father who was distant, leading to Dirk bullying others weaker than him.
Now, take a look at some moments last season:
DEAN: So you've been using your, uh, freaky ESP stuff?
SAM: No.
DEAN: You sure about that? Well, I mean, now that you've got... immunity, whatever the hell that is... just wondering what other kind of weirdo crap you've got going on.
SAM: Nothing, Dean. Look, you didn't want me to go down that road, so I didn't go down that road. It was practically your dying wish.
DEAN: Yeah, well, let's keep it that way.
- 4.01
SAM: "Killin' alot more demons than that lately"
DEAN: "Not anymore-- the smarter brother's back"
- 4.01
DEAN: "Okay, stop right now, whatever the hell is going on here, it's happening to us now, I can't get ahold of Bobby and so if you're not thinking answers, don't think at all!"
- 4.02
DEAN: "Do you even know how far off the reservation you've gone? How far from normal? From human?...If I didn't know you, I'd want to hunt you"
- 4.04
DEAN: "Cas said that if I don't stop you, he will. Do you see what that means? That means that GOD doesn't want you doing this."
- 4.04
SAM: You don’t trust me.
DEAN: No! Because this could be the Siren talking.
SAM: Look, just tell me where you are. I’ll come meet you and we’ll figure things out.
DEAN: No.
SAM: You serious?
DEAN: I wish I weren’t. I gotta handle this, Sam. By myself.
- 4.15
You see what he's doing there? He's automatically claiming superior ground in order to justify silencing Sam's own thoughts. No listening wanted. This is the way it is.
In my view, Dean handled Sam all wrong all season. He tried to act just like John in handling Sam without remembering, 1) It didn't work the first time, and 2) Sam is a full grown adult.
What I found amazing under rewatch of last season, is that Dean? Sides with Castiel over his brother incredibly early on in the season. He's hardly accepted angels exist, let alone just meeting the guy, and already he's believing every word. The MOMENT Cas says, "Your brother is down a dangerous road. Stop him, or we will." He believes it. It's like John whispering that Secret in his ear, and it repeats over and over in his head, churning more and more fear, all season long. But here's the thing. For Cas and Heaven? That was the plan. It was as important for Ruby to convince Sam to drink the demon blood as it was to inject that fear into Dean, for the apocalypse to be successful.
Therefore, while I hate that he did it, I can understand Sam eventually siding with Ruby and keeping the lies going as he did. Dean was alienating him, and Ruby was there to turn to. She was brilliant in that she gave Sam what Dean could no longer give. She listened and backed him up in a way Dean once had, but hadn't since he came back from Hell. (Of course, we could say that that superiority complex Dean suddenly held over Sam came from a deeper place of feeling whipped by Hell. Overcompensation, if you will. But this isn't a psychiatry post.)
Then Dean finds out about the demon blood, and he does the worst possible thing he could do: Alienate Sam more.
In this case, I find that the most important moment is the 4.21 honeymoon suite scene. Not surprising there.
But there's one particular moment that keeps running through my head: Sam throwing down the knife on the bed, and begging Dean to come with them. Even after Dean had locked him up in that panic room, even after the whole season, it still takes my breath away that Sam so graciously still asks Dean to be with him on this.
I'd say the world's fate is sealed here:
DEAN: "Fine, that's great, but the demon bitch is the deal breaker. You kiss her goodbye, and we can go right now."
Another Hobson's Choice for Sam. My way, or the highway.
And his response:
SAM: "I can't. I need her to help me kill Lilith."
Had Sam left Ruby at Dean’s request, he wouldn’t have had enough juice to kill Lilith. Had Dean acquiesced and let Ruby come with them, Dean would have been there with Sam when Ruby told him he had to drink a girl dry, and Sam wouldn’t have done it. The last minute decision scene where Sam took out his phone to listen to Dean’s voicemail BEFORE he made the decision showed that much. It was alienation that brought him to that point.
Should we fault Dean for siding with Castiel when he was simply a pawn in the heavenly game meant to feed into his fears and alienate Sam, thus pushing Sam to that final decision? No? Then neither should we blame Sam for siding with Ruby when he was simply a pawn in her game to free Lucifer as well. Both chose wrong choices shaped as right choices by the apocalypse's architects.
Now, does this mean Sam shouldn't blame himself or take responsibility for what he did? Of course not. My point merely is that that as two people occupying the same space of work and life, actions and words toward one another have consequences. To each of them. And that by absolving Dean completely of responsibility of their fracture, we are ignoring another layer of complexity in the narrative.
In the end, it's going to come down to the boys figuring this out. It's going to be a long, painful haul, but eventually, by talking again, seeking understanding between each other, and comparing stories, they are going to realize with startling revelation just how identically they were played, both pieces in Heaven and Hell's chess match. If I had to bet money, I'd say finding out about that voicemail is gonna be the last straw in them deciding together that they refuse to play someone else's game again. They'll do it their way, take their own free will by the horns, spit in the face of destiny, and figure out how to kill Lucifer on their own. Together.
'Cause in the end, that's the only victory that matters. That love can conquer all. (Hey, who knew meta could be schultzy? Jeeze.)
ETA: I understand, in the style this meta is, being a response to those that have come before it (which basically since the S4 finale have assigned blame and wrongdoing to Sam based on his choices and characterized Dean as an inculpable victim), some might have mistakenly thought this was merely doing the opposite. This came out of my fingers randomly while responding to one of the comments below, but goes a long way to explaining how I see the show, so I'm reposting it here to make sure my position is clear:
I do think seeing both stories is important to seeing how well-constructed the show as a whole has been and to ignore one side to be missing half the point: That the show is essentially about humanity. How we rise and how we fall. How we try when we are beaten down. How we fuck up with the best and worst of intentions. This show, from day one, has been intentionally GROUNDED in a reality that few sci-fi/horror shows allow themselves to be. And I love it precisely for that.
SO WHO IS READY FOR TONIGHT?!?!?! AHHHH, WINCHESTER DAY!!!
Up to this point, given what we've gotten so far, it’s sometimes hard to think that the show is doing anything but saying Dean is right, Sam was wrong. And I can't help but think, 'Wait! Is that really the whole story?'
This show has always, from day one, done something really awesome in their arguments and conversations. And that is maintaining that neither brother is completely right or completely wrong. I’ve always praised it. And I think the situation is no different here.
Blame is running around all over the place. Sam was obviously wrong. He had a choice and he made the wrong one. No, it was Dean’s fault really. He started it all. No, it was Sam’s fault, you can’t blame Dean. Blahblahblahlbahblah.
I’m gonna offer up an idea. How about this? Neither brother was completely right or completely wrong.
See, there’s been something that’s been bothering me since the finale about Choice and its alignment with Sam. Ruby told Sam he didn't need the feather to fly, that it was all him and his choices that got him there. And because we all think, if someone said it, it must be true, it gives everyone the freedom to blame Sam left and right. Sam can’t be trusted. Sam can’t even trust himself. He had choice, freewill and look at what he did with it. He chose wrong. Made bad choices. And on and on and on. I cringe when I hear all of this.
choice: noun. the act of choosing; selection; the right, power, or chance to choose; option; a person or thing chosen; the best or most preferable part
free will: noun. free and independent choice; voluntary decision; freedom of humans to make choices that are not determined by prior causes or by divine intervention; the power of making free choices unconstrained by external agencies
Because here's the thing. For a while now, the show has been using choice and free will interchangeably. Kripke tells us the show is about fate vs. free will. And the show constantly discusses a person's choice to not accept their predetermined fate. But if we look closely, it really not correct to say 'choice' is equivalent to 'free will'. In fact, 'free will' is a FREE choice. And a FREE choice is that which has not been determined by prior causes or divine forces.
I would submit that Ruby was misleading in her assertion that it was Sam's choices alone which led him to kill Lilith and start the apocalypse. (Again! Remember 'Jus in Bello'?)
Of course, there are two blames at work here. What Sam blames himself for: Rising Lucifer and starting the apocalypse. And what Dean blames Sam for: Betraying him by siding with Ruby over his own brother.
And so there are only two moments that really matter. Let's take them one at a time.
Starting The Apocalypse
If we're talking about what CHOICES Sam had made last year, leading him to start the apocalypse, I really think we need to look in terms of what choices Sam was given. What did he know? And Sam himself knew three things:
#1. Lilith was trying to bring on the apocalypse.
#2. He could obtain the power to stop/kill her.
#3. The angels were failing at trying to stop her.
Effectively, it was not just Ruby that fed him this information. The Angels backed this up. Bobby believed it. Sam believed it. Dean believed it. And ultimately, Ruby set up a Hobson's Choice for Sam, an apparently free choice in which only one option is really available. In this case, use this power to save the world, or do nothing and watch the world end. Given the information he was given, it's hard to think any of his free choices prior to the finale were necessarily 'wrong'. He was hurting no one else but demons, even helping save the people possessed, at the expense of his own. But he practically weighed out his choices and rationally arrived at the decision that it was worth it, given the Hobson's Choice he was given.
Sure, one could say that Sam was drinking demon blood, and that he should have known it would lead to nowhere good. But then one would also have to admit that Dean went to a demon to bring Sam back from the dead, and that he should have known that would lead to nowhere good as well. They’re equal on that plane, imo.
And so I would submit that, in the end there was only one choice of Sam’s that really mattered. Deciding to drink the nurse dry. Up to that point, he had hurt no one but himself. This was his last choice to go through with it. Sacrifice an innocent to supposedly save the world. The very same decision he was faced with in 'Jus in Bello' that Dean had so ferociously said no to. And Sam knew it. "Maybe Dean was right all along." So he takes one last moment to decide whether he should do this. To make his choice. He stops, and listens to Dean's voicemail to hinge his choice on.
And that choice was taken from him.
I wholeheartedly believe that had Sam received the correct voicemail of Dean apologizing and calling him his brother, he would not have gone through with it. It was in receiving the fake message provided by the angels with Dean disowning him and prepared to kill him, that he decided to go through with his suicide mission. The fact that it was the angels that fed him that message only confirms that Sam’s last choice was not really HIS choice at all. He was robbed of that last choice, by not being given the truth. Had Dean's real message gotten to Sam at that moment, he would not have felt like he had nothing left in the world. And thus willing to destroy himself in “saving” the world. Drinking that nurse was Sam’s suicide. He didn’t think he’d survive killing Lilith. The fact that he did and now has to deal with the consequences of it is something he had not been prepared for, (and in fact, similar to Bobby's own attempted suicide last episode).
So really, we can conclude the brothers fracture led to the apocalypse. I think Dean realizes that. Had he not left Sam, it wouldn't have happened. He says "we caused this mess, we're gonna have to clean it up". He owns that responsibility with Sam.
What Dean takes exception to is Sam choosing Ruby over his own brother, as he says.
The problem is, it's not exactly the full story of how last year unfolded.
Picking Sides
My default mode while watching SPN has always been watching and understanding under Dean's shoulders. I'm not sure whether it's because my own POV matches Dean's or whether it's the structure of the show as a whole. Nonetheless, it happens. So, after watching 4.21 last May absolutely CRUSHED for Dean beyond belief, I decided to rerun the whole season in an attempt to understand Sam's state of mind in Season Four before the finale aired. What I found surprised me completely.
If the MOTW's of Season Four showed anything, it's that monsters and bullies are MADE. Out of their own choices, *and* the choices of people around them. We saw this in 4.04 when Travis's attempt to kill the man's wife was the last trigger to turn him into a monster. In 4.05, the Dracula!Shapeshifter lamented about his father beating him with a shovel and calling him monster, people finding him despite running, and being responsible. In 4.06, the sheriff and his friends brutal killing of Luther made him into a monster. In 4.08, the bullied boy wishes to become superstrong in order to bully his oppressors. In 4.13, Dirk was a kind boy who's mother's death left him with a father who was distant, leading to Dirk bullying others weaker than him.
Now, take a look at some moments last season:
DEAN: So you've been using your, uh, freaky ESP stuff?
SAM: No.
DEAN: You sure about that? Well, I mean, now that you've got... immunity, whatever the hell that is... just wondering what other kind of weirdo crap you've got going on.
SAM: Nothing, Dean. Look, you didn't want me to go down that road, so I didn't go down that road. It was practically your dying wish.
DEAN: Yeah, well, let's keep it that way.
- 4.01
SAM: "Killin' alot more demons than that lately"
DEAN: "Not anymore-- the smarter brother's back"
- 4.01
DEAN: "Okay, stop right now, whatever the hell is going on here, it's happening to us now, I can't get ahold of Bobby and so if you're not thinking answers, don't think at all!"
- 4.02
DEAN: "Do you even know how far off the reservation you've gone? How far from normal? From human?...If I didn't know you, I'd want to hunt you"
- 4.04
DEAN: "Cas said that if I don't stop you, he will. Do you see what that means? That means that GOD doesn't want you doing this."
- 4.04
SAM: You don’t trust me.
DEAN: No! Because this could be the Siren talking.
SAM: Look, just tell me where you are. I’ll come meet you and we’ll figure things out.
DEAN: No.
SAM: You serious?
DEAN: I wish I weren’t. I gotta handle this, Sam. By myself.
- 4.15
You see what he's doing there? He's automatically claiming superior ground in order to justify silencing Sam's own thoughts. No listening wanted. This is the way it is.
In my view, Dean handled Sam all wrong all season. He tried to act just like John in handling Sam without remembering, 1) It didn't work the first time, and 2) Sam is a full grown adult.
What I found amazing under rewatch of last season, is that Dean? Sides with Castiel over his brother incredibly early on in the season. He's hardly accepted angels exist, let alone just meeting the guy, and already he's believing every word. The MOMENT Cas says, "Your brother is down a dangerous road. Stop him, or we will." He believes it. It's like John whispering that Secret in his ear, and it repeats over and over in his head, churning more and more fear, all season long. But here's the thing. For Cas and Heaven? That was the plan. It was as important for Ruby to convince Sam to drink the demon blood as it was to inject that fear into Dean, for the apocalypse to be successful.
Therefore, while I hate that he did it, I can understand Sam eventually siding with Ruby and keeping the lies going as he did. Dean was alienating him, and Ruby was there to turn to. She was brilliant in that she gave Sam what Dean could no longer give. She listened and backed him up in a way Dean once had, but hadn't since he came back from Hell. (Of course, we could say that that superiority complex Dean suddenly held over Sam came from a deeper place of feeling whipped by Hell. Overcompensation, if you will. But this isn't a psychiatry post.)
Then Dean finds out about the demon blood, and he does the worst possible thing he could do: Alienate Sam more.
In this case, I find that the most important moment is the 4.21 honeymoon suite scene. Not surprising there.
But there's one particular moment that keeps running through my head: Sam throwing down the knife on the bed, and begging Dean to come with them. Even after Dean had locked him up in that panic room, even after the whole season, it still takes my breath away that Sam so graciously still asks Dean to be with him on this.
I'd say the world's fate is sealed here:
DEAN: "Fine, that's great, but the demon bitch is the deal breaker. You kiss her goodbye, and we can go right now."
Another Hobson's Choice for Sam. My way, or the highway.
And his response:
SAM: "I can't. I need her to help me kill Lilith."
Had Sam left Ruby at Dean’s request, he wouldn’t have had enough juice to kill Lilith. Had Dean acquiesced and let Ruby come with them, Dean would have been there with Sam when Ruby told him he had to drink a girl dry, and Sam wouldn’t have done it. The last minute decision scene where Sam took out his phone to listen to Dean’s voicemail BEFORE he made the decision showed that much. It was alienation that brought him to that point.
Should we fault Dean for siding with Castiel when he was simply a pawn in the heavenly game meant to feed into his fears and alienate Sam, thus pushing Sam to that final decision? No? Then neither should we blame Sam for siding with Ruby when he was simply a pawn in her game to free Lucifer as well. Both chose wrong choices shaped as right choices by the apocalypse's architects.
Now, does this mean Sam shouldn't blame himself or take responsibility for what he did? Of course not. My point merely is that that as two people occupying the same space of work and life, actions and words toward one another have consequences. To each of them. And that by absolving Dean completely of responsibility of their fracture, we are ignoring another layer of complexity in the narrative.
In the end, it's going to come down to the boys figuring this out. It's going to be a long, painful haul, but eventually, by talking again, seeking understanding between each other, and comparing stories, they are going to realize with startling revelation just how identically they were played, both pieces in Heaven and Hell's chess match. If I had to bet money, I'd say finding out about that voicemail is gonna be the last straw in them deciding together that they refuse to play someone else's game again. They'll do it their way, take their own free will by the horns, spit in the face of destiny, and figure out how to kill Lucifer on their own. Together.
'Cause in the end, that's the only victory that matters. That love can conquer all. (Hey, who knew meta could be schultzy? Jeeze.)
ETA: I understand, in the style this meta is, being a response to those that have come before it (which basically since the S4 finale have assigned blame and wrongdoing to Sam based on his choices and characterized Dean as an inculpable victim), some might have mistakenly thought this was merely doing the opposite. This came out of my fingers randomly while responding to one of the comments below, but goes a long way to explaining how I see the show, so I'm reposting it here to make sure my position is clear:
I do think seeing both stories is important to seeing how well-constructed the show as a whole has been and to ignore one side to be missing half the point: That the show is essentially about humanity. How we rise and how we fall. How we try when we are beaten down. How we fuck up with the best and worst of intentions. This show, from day one, has been intentionally GROUNDED in a reality that few sci-fi/horror shows allow themselves to be. And I love it precisely for that.
SO WHO IS READY FOR TONIGHT?!?!?! AHHHH, WINCHESTER DAY!!!