(Untitled)

[zia_montrose]

Prompts: Valentine's Day, conflict, chocolate. Here's my attempt to jump through all three hoops.

For the Fluff Thread.

***

“Will you sit next to me in class?” James asked, his hazel eyes softening for Lily as the Fat Lady swung shut behind them.  They trotted down the stairs hand in hand; he gave hers a doting squeeze.

“I told you, I don’t feel

Comments

[rosathome]

Oh this is so cute. I love James and Lily and tension and Valentine's Day and you constructed this so nicely. The conflict is properly real to them in this relationship. He doesn't understand straight away what the problem is but he gets there in the end and Lily, even though she's angry and embarrassed still cares enough to give him time to do so.

And Lily's challenge at the end shows exactly how well she knows her boy. *sigh*

Just one quibble. If the house elves had baked chocolate souffle, wouldn't it have sunk long before James could wrap it and give it to Lily? Unless there's some magical way of keeping it in that perfect, just out of the oven state?

But hey, it's chocolate, it's Valentine's Day - it worked for me!

[rosathome]

Oh and I meant to say, I really liked the 'comet' in James's chest. Bit like a monster, huh?

[zia_montrose]

Good eye. Yes, I intended it as a parallel to Harry's monster. : )

[zia_montrose]

Thanks, Girlyswot! I was a bit worried about this piece. I picture James and his friends acting a bit more mature by seventh year, but I'll blame the departure on Valentine's Day high spirits. Yeah, that's it. : )

Lily likes a good game too, I think, no?

Thanks for the fun comments. Oh, and I think souffles are meant to be eaten once they've fallen, but I like your magical explanation.

[peverell]

I'm following the fluff thread but I can't post there yet so I hope you don't mind a comment here. I can't resist James. ;-)

I specially liked the way he dashed off the answers to bribe Delia into moving. That seems so him, somehow. Then not getting why Lily's upset with him, for all he's supposed to be brainy. (Blame it on being an only child of elderly parents! :LOL:)

The ending was lovely too, showing that Lily is a bit of a prankster too. I could see her following him around saying, "No, cold... cold... getting warmer... getting warmer... no, cold again." while he searches for what she got him. The comet! :grins: Clever!

I saw the prompt on the old thread and was having a go but having read others, mine has come out rather dark and not-fluffy.

[stmargarets]

You should post it anyway. As long as it's resolved - that was the hard part of the exercise.

[peverell]

Oh yes--the resolution is definitely the hard part of this exercise. Mine is eluding me, or rather, how to explain/describe the resolution is eluding me. I know what happens, it's getting it past the blinking cursor!

Thank you for the encouragement. :-)

[zia_montrose]

Well, thank you for commenting! It's always fun to hear what worked best and "impishly clever" is part of James's characterization in my mind.

No,cold...cold... That does sound like Lily, lol. Now that you've provided such good prompts, I'm inspired to make James go hunting for his gift. ; )

I hope you do resolve and post your piece!

[eudorahawkins]

Sweet! The others have already commented on my favorite parts, but I guess there's no harm in reiterating. My favorites moments were the comet, the clever way James finagled a seat near Lily, and Lily showing her playful side in the end. Your characterizations of both were excellent. What lovely Valentine's fluff.

[zia_montrose]

Thanks Eudora! I'm glad you stopped in to read it. And I'm happy to hear that the characterizations came across well and which moments amused you. To be honest, I hated getting poor James in trouble again *sigh*, but such was the assignment, and this is what came to mind.

I hope you are busy in your own writer's workshop. ; )

[moonette1]

I thoroughly enjoyed this! You really make the Hogwarts atmosphere come alive. James did seem a bit giddy - but it was so sweet since he was excited for Valentine's Day. I loved the part about him giving the answers to Delia. And I laughed when Sirius grinningly told James Lily looked like she wanted to kill him. And I loved how James wanted to carry her bookbag. *sigh* And how he was so nicely apologetic after class. It was all so fluffy and sweet.

I think this captured the spirit of teenagers in love wonderfully! Great job, Zia!

[zia_montrose]

I'm glad you enjoyed, Moonette. I just returned from a film festival in town and noticed your own fluffy entry pop up. Oh, I knew you were off in your workshop. I look forward to seeing what you served up!

[crumplehornedki]

That was really sweet. Loved the comet in the chest!

Can I friend?

[zia_montrose]

I'm so glad you liked it. I have a weakness for the Marauders and Lily and James in particular. I've just friended you!

Thanks for commenting. : )