Last night neither Kali and Sarah nor Alex were around to talk to. I watched some youtube, and stared helplessly through my silent internet. At some point I decided to pick a fight with a transphobe, for which I got in trouble with the (cis male, of course) admin. Maybe telling the bigot that when he repeats Russian propaganda, he is sucking Putin' ( Read more... )

Well, here it is shabbat again, and I feel a little guilty for being on the internet, but since I'm equally certain that I would have nothing to do without the internet, and no one to do it with, and would thus be stressed the entire time just counting down minutes until shabbat ended, I choose to use the computer on shabbat. As well as the lights ( Read more... )

I took a sudafed before bed last night, which was at like 10 pm because I was exhausted. Then when I woke up around 9:30, my blood sugar was 134 after eating a muffin (I forgot to do fasting), so that's not great for fasting sugar but it's not as dyer as the 190 I got yesterday. Of course, I also didn't eat after 10 yesterday, when I usually eat ( Read more... )

I went to bed at 11 last night, woke up at midnight, but was back in bed around 1am. Then I woke up at 9 or 9:30. I got up and read LJ and DW. Then I watched RBG, the documentary about RBG. I had meant to watch it before, but then had kind of forgotten about it until it was a selection for film club. So that took most of my morning ( Read more... )

I didn't sleep last night. A couple times I slept for an hour, but then I'd wake up and be wide awake again. I blame this primarily on mamasin, who woke me up blowing up my phone on fb messenger asking for the money she had gifted me when I had a gofundme up back. She kept acting like I should know she needed the money back and was a bitch for not ( Read more... )

Today was an ominous and oppressive day. I mean, I walked outside to my car and if my mother wouldn't have killed me, I would have turned around and gone back to bed because the air just felt so wrong. I fell asleep immediately after writing here last night and woke up around 8am but stayed in bed until 10am. I don't know what was wrong with Jack, ( Read more... )

I don't know why I didn't manage anything last night. I talked to Alex and I really don't know what else I did because I didn't watch youtube, and that's what I usually do. I didn't take my glimepiride, and sure enough, I didn't feel sick for most of the night, so tonight I try a half dose, and see what that does for both feeling dizzy and sorting ( Read more... )

I watched all my youtubes last night and then fell asleep around 3:30am. I woke up when the dog woke me at 2pm. I fed him and then tried to find something to feed myself and wound up with cheez-its. I read LJ and DW, for the first time in like 3 days because I've been dysfunctional. So there was a lot of reading to do. So then when I finished that ( Read more... )

Last night after writing here, I went over to Donna's house around midnight. She was cooking naan (unsuccessfully) and I sat at her kitchen table and we talked for about 3 hours. It was a distraction technique, but it worked. She showed me a video of Zelensky playing piano that was just great. At 3am when I decided to go home, I thought I was so ( Read more... )

Today may be the worst day I've ever experienced. At any rate, it's the first time I've wound up talking to a suicide hotline. I didn't even need to do that immediately after Kevin died. Although then I had my family and friends surrounding me, and essentially accomplishing the same thing. I feel even worse because I can't really be emotional ( Read more... )