Crescendo: Prologue

[zelda_queen]

ZeldaQueen: You guys knew it was coming and now it is here: Crescendo, the sequel to the utterly fucked-up novel Hush, Hush. Over the next twenty-five chapters worth of sporkings, we're going to be treated to lovely amounts of hypocrisy, ill logic, slut shaming, general idiocy, and all the previous abuse vibes we know and hate. Not only that, but

Comments

[albion_witch]

As someone once said-

"Reality and these books don't often meet."

If at all.

This is gonna hurt.

[zelda_queen]

That quote really sums up this series in general.

And yes, yes it will.

[starsflyer]

After reading the sporking of "Hush, Hush" I spent a good twenty minutes trying to explain to a few of my friends the next evening why the book was so absolutely horrible horrible horrible. They didn't believe that it was worse than Twilight.

So I guess I'm looking forward (???), in a strange way, to see how this second book goes. Ugh. First vampires are ruined for me, and now angels. What next?

[zelda_queen]

Trying to explain the insanity that is Hush, Hush is rather difficult, I've noticed. Words really can't express how messed up it is.

And on that score, I promise you won't be disappointed. I hit myself on the head with this book, such was the frustration it caused in me.

[gehayi]

I described "Hush, Hush" to someone like this

[lisaerin]

I love The Circle of Magic and the Abhorsen trilogy.

[das_mervin]

You know, I shrieked in horror when I saw this on my flist page. When I read it, I nearly had a tantrum, because the sheer amount of stupidity from the prologue alone almost caused me to tear my face off.

Then I just said "fuck it" and went back to reading porn. Suck on that, Fitzpatrick.

[zelda_queen]

Porn is infinitely superior to this mess, even bad porn, like what Link's Queen or Gethsemane wrote. At least that has entertainment value.

I really can't understand how Fitzpatrick's characters manage to be so utterly stupid. It'd be sad if it wasn't so messed up.

[chibi_regalli]

So... are those lace curtains gently wafting?

Apart from that, we sure this fallen angel isn't Patch? I know, it stinks of fish, but let's be frank here: Patch lies like a rug. For all we know, other fallen angel who inevitably tries to kill/rape/both/in whatever order Nora will just claim he killed her father to screw around with her and Patch doesn't correct him because it'd be harder to harass Nora if she knew the truth... Wait, no, he'd probably tell her and then mind rape her into submission anyway. I wouldn't put it past this asshole, either way. I know it's not canon, but really, I'm still reading these sporkings like a horror novel.

Great to see everything in this universe is too dumb to live. If you put a big button saying "Do Not Push" in the middle of town and rigged it to explode, they'd be flocking to it. End of series! Well, assuming an explosion could kill an angel... Maybe a really big, universe-imploding one? Maybe?

[zelda_queen]

No, I can assure you it's not. Like I said, it's pretty much exactly what happened in the last book. And having Patch kill Nora's father would lead to her having to confront him about it, which would lead to it being even harder to justify her loving him, or at least needing a scene of legitimate conflict, and who wants that dumb stuff? Oy.

You're right, the entire town would fall for that. I don't know if an explosion would kill the fallen angels though, seeing as they technically have no bodies. I'm sure, though, that they could be lured into Hell by using the dollar bill on a string gag. :P

[chibi_regalli]

Well, yeah... that would require Fitzpatrick to be able to write. Or recognize Patch is horrifying.

No, no, I've got a better idea. *Ties string around dollar bill leading to Themiscyra, then another one leading to pre-crater Sunnydale* Hmm, I'm torn. Who do you think would teach Patch a better lesson about sexual harassment and mind rape and why they're wrong, Wonder Woman or Buffy?

[zelda_queen]

Why not both? :D Add in Annie and Nina from Being Human, and we've got things rounded out very nicely! ^_^

[often_partisan]

Reeeeaaally looking forward to this awful excuse for "literature" being torn a new one :D