Unexpected Love: Chapter 5
ZeldaQueen: Well folks, here it is. Unless the Suethor updates, this is the last chapter of this fic. And what an anti-climactic ending this is!
Projection Room Voices: Starting Media in 3...2...1...
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Chapter 5
1 month later...early morning
ZeldaQueen: Toast for breakfast... cloudy with a chance for showers...
Wait. One month? Fantastic, let's see what this chapter's all about
Queen Anne had gone to bed around 9:00 the night before, and had been sleeping pretty well up until now. All of a sudden, a sharp pain shot through her, but then just as quickly went away.
ZeldaQueen: The sporker took aim and stabbed again
She had tried to go back to sleep, and had no sooner shut her eyes when it happened again, this time leaving a very familiar wetness in it's wake.
ZeldaQueen: Augh! Not this tripe again!
She looked over at Caspian. She knew he had been very tired lately, and she did want to let him sleep, but he had to know that their second child was now officially on his or her way.
ZeldaQueen: He's king! Go off with the midwife to another room or something!
She leaned over as best I could, and whispered in his ear.
"Caspian." She shook his shoulder a little bit. "Wake up, darling. It's time. The baby's coming."
ZeldaQueen: (Anne) "Is my audience ready?"
"That's nice." he said, sleepily. Then, not even 2 second later, he practically shot out of bed, finally realizing what she had just told him.
"Really? Already?"
ZeldaQueen: This is My Inner Life all over again! The Suethors really are twins!
She nodded, and pulled down the covers a little, revealing a huge wet spot on her nightgown.
ZeldaQueen: ...Yeah, I really wanted to be reminded of that
"All right, my love. Just stay calm, and breathe." He leaned over a gave her a kiss. "I'll be right back."
He walked out the door, closed it, and then yelled down the hall. "PETER, SUSAN, EDMUND, LUCY!" At that instant, all their doors flew open, and they came running out, and over to where he stood."
"Caspian, what's going on?" asked Susan, now very much awake.
"It's Anne. She just went into labor. Quick, go get the midwife! Hurry!"
ZeldaQueen: THEY ARE THE KINGS AND QUEENS OF NARNIA! EVERYONE IN THE CASTLE ISN'T WOKEN JUST FOR CHILDBIRTH! WHY WOULD ALL THREE OF THEM NEED TO BE CALLED? I AM SO ANGRY, I LOST MY LOWER CASE LETTERS!
Everybody's eyes got wide, hers included, and she turned and ran in the direction of the midwife.
ZeldaQueen: *growls* Queen Susan is not a servant!
While they waited, everyone did their best to keep the nervous father-to-be (again) calm. Lucy laid a reassuring hand on his arm.
"It's all right. It will all be okay in the end-you'll see."
ZeldaQueen: These people are pathetic
"Thanks, Lucy." They shared a brief hug, before Peter spoke up.
"Look, Caspian. We'll all wait here for Susan and the midwife. You go on back in there."
"Yeah." Edmund agreed. "She needs you right now."
He nodded. "Okay, thanks you guys." He walked back into the room, and closed the door.
ZeldaQueen: *gnashes teeth* Men weren't present while their wives were giving birth! Suethor, I know you saw Prince Caspian. Miraz wasn't there when his wife was having their child!
"How are you feeling, my love?" He asked, walking back over to her.
She was just about to answer, when another contraction started up. "Oooo." She gritted her teeth in pain, and squeezed his hand.
ZeldaQueen: The sporker had moved from stabbing her to trying to strangle her with a rope
"Just breathe. The midwife will be here soon. I promise." He picked her hand up in his, and then leaned in and kissed her forehead.
No sooner had he said that than the midwife and her 4 nurses, followed by Susan and Lucy, hurried into the room.
ZeldaQueen: Apparently they were behind the door, listening for their cue
"Wait a minute!" she blurted out suddenly, in between contractions, a look of worry spread across her face. "Who's watching Rilian?"
"Relax, Anne. Don't worry." Lucy comforted her, taking one of her hands and giving it a reassuring pat. "Peter and Edmund have that all under control."
ZeldaQueen: SERVANTS! THEY! HAVE! SERVANTS!!!
I'm sorry but that one really pisses me off. He's in a castle! There are people out the wazoo, all of them paid to help look after the royal family! And apparently they've all mysteriously vanished, leaving the Kings of Narnia to babysit
"That's right, my love." Caspian piped in. "Don't worry. The only thing you need to do right now is concentrate on having this baby. Just think, a few hours from now, we'll be holding our new little prince or princess in our arms." They both smiled, before leaning in for a brief kiss.
ZeldaQueen: I'm going to coat their lips with super-glue in the middle of the night, and then laugh maniacally the next time they make out like that
Just then, the midwife looked up, after having checked her, and smiled. "Actually, your majesties, it may be just a couple of hours. Things are moving along rather quickly."
ZeldaQueen: Is there really a difference between "a few hours" and "a couple of hours"?
"That's wonder,..." but before she could finish, a huge contraction swept over her,
ZeldaQueen: Seriously, it sounds like they're waves or something
causing her to let out the loudest scream anyone in the room had ever heard.
ZeldaQueen: The glass all shattered and opera singers were put to shame. It was magnificent
By now, Susan had taken Lucy's place next to the bed, and Caspian was on the other side.
ZeldaQueen: This is important. Somehow
They were each holding a hand, and each of their hands felt like it was about to fall of. It's wasn't easy, but they both managed to hold in a cry of pain, considering all the pain the Queen was in at the moment.
ZeldaQueen: *snarls at the uselessness of the Sue*
When the contraction had finally ended, she, much to their delight, had let go their hands. As you can imagine, after 4 hours of this, Anne was absolutely dripping with sweat, and needed something to cool her off a little. Then, as if Caspian could somehow read her mind, he took a piece of cloth, dipped it in cold water, and wiped her forehead with it. She looked up at him gratefully, and smiled.
"Thanks."
"Anything for you, darling. Anything for you."
ZeldaQueen: But what about those bone-crushing contractions? Come on,
Just then, yet another contraction swept over, causing her to let out another painful scream, and again squeeze the hands of those trying to comfort her. "Please God, make it stop! It hurts too much! Just get this baby out of me!" she screamed.
ZeldaQueen: ...I amend my previous theory. Arielanne is Link's Queen. It's the only possible explanation
"I know. I know. You're getting closer, though." He got the cloth wet, and once again wiped her forehead. "It won't be too much longer now. I promise." He leaned in, and so that his forehead was touching hers. "I love you." he whispered in her ear. "More than you'll ever know."
"I love you, too." They shared in a very brief kiss,
ZeldaQueen: STOP THAT!
before yet another contraction came upon her, and she once again screamed out in pain. Just at quickly as it had come on, it passed just as quickly, and she flopped back against the pillows. "Please, God." she thought herself. "Please, just let all this be over. I don't think I can take much more of this pain."
ZeldaQueen: I'm thinking exactly the same thing
Little did she know, however, that the pain she had already experienced was only the beginning. It was about to get worse-much worse.
ZeldaQueen: Dude, you're having a baby, not undergoing torture on the Death Star!
2 hours later...
It seemed like for forever, but before everyone knew it, another 2 hours had passed. Anne had now been in labor for 5 ½ hours, and didn't think she could take much more.
ZeldaQueen: Neither can I. Does anything plot-related happen in this chapter? Or in this story, for that matter?
Thankfully, the midwife was about to give her some good news-some very good news.
"All right, your Majesty," The midwife looked up at her, and smiled. "It looks like you're finally ready to push."
"Finally." She thought to herself, looking up. "Thank you."
ZeldaQueen: And then they pushed her out the window.
Look, if the Suethor's allowed to be repetitive, so am I!
Lucy took hold of her left hand, and Caspian took hold of her right, covering it with his other hand and kissing it.
ZeldaQueen: Does that guy know how to do anything else? I'm reminded of when my dog was a puppy and my mom would try to get it into her head that eating mud in the yard Wasn't Good. She just knew to wag her tail and look cute. She also licked my mom's face, which didn't go over so well given the mud-eating, but I digress. I wonder if Caspian will start kissing everyone for every problem? Probably make the peace talks more interesting, at any rate
She then looked up at the midwife. "I'm ready."
ZeldaQueen: *singing* Transformation central!
"Now," said the midwife. "as soon as you feel the urge to do so, I want you to give me one good, strong push."
ZeldaQueen: I have the urge to push her. Is that close enough?
She had only waited maybe 30 seconds or so, before a contraction hit and she felt the urge to push. She did so with everything she had, and when it was over, she leaned back against the pillows.
"Okay, one more push, and the head should be out." Another contraction swept over her. She again pushed with all her might, screaming probably the loudest she had ever screamed in her life, as the head started to crown."
"Good, the head's out, My Queen. Just one more push, and you'll finally have your baby."
ZeldaQueen: My word, this is interesting!
She waited for another contraction, and as soon as it came around, she pushed down with all her remaining strength, letting out one final scream as she did. She then felt something slip out of her, followed by the sound they had both been waiting hear for the last 9 months and 6 hours-the healthy cries of a baby.
ZeldaQueen: And lo, a beam of light did shine upon it and heavenly music did play, for it was the successor of the Head Sue!
"Congratulations, my Queen. You have a very healthy little..."
"Wait," She stopped her before she could finish.
ZeldaQueen: I kind of figured that, given that the midwife didn't finish and all
"I want Caspian to tell me what we have."
ZeldaQueen: (Midwife) "Congratulations, your majesty! The Queen has given birth to a healthy baby seal!"
"Very well." She looked up at Caspian. "My King, would you do the honors?"
ZeldaQueen: (Midwife) "I mean, it's not like you have more important matters to attend to"
He nodded, and walked down to the end of the bed.
He looked down at the baby, and a huge smile came over his face. As he looked back up at her, still smiling, she could clearly see tears rolling down his cheeks.
ZeldaQueen: (Caspian) "My cheeks are in pain from smiling so much!"
"It's a girl." he said, all choked up. "We have a beautiful, healthy little girl."
ZeldaQueen: Of course they do. No Mary Sue fanfiction like this is complete without a Princess Sparklypoo Sue to take after her mother
He wrapped his right arm around both her shoulders, leaned in, kissed the side of her head, and whispered softly in her ear. "You are amazing. I love you so much. She's absolutely perfect."
ZeldaQueen: ...Um, you provided a few chromosomes there too, Caspian
By now, of course, Anne had started crying as well. They both leaned in for kiss, and then anxiously waited for their new daughter to be brought back over.
ZeldaQueen: To pass the time, they cried some more
About 5 minutes later...
ZeldaQueen: Because it's crucial to label time jumps like that!
It had seemed like forever, but the midwife finally brought their daughter back over to them, wrapped snugly in a soft pink blanket, her tiny arms waving wildly about in the air.
ZeldaQueen: (Sue Baby) "MWAH HA HA! I have successfully infiltrated this fic through the Head Sue's vagina! Now, to snare various canon characters under my spell, using naught but my Sue Baby charms! I shall RULE THE WORLD and take over, once Mommy has died in some tragic way! But first, a diaper change!"
As the baby was placed in Anne's arms, Susan motioned to Lucy to go and get Peter, Edmund, and little Rilian. Lucy ran out the door, quietly closing it behind her.
Meanwhile, in the Princes' room, not too far away...
ZeldaQueen: There's a Star Wars parody in there, I just know it
Peter and Edmund were both sitting on the floor, playing with their little nephew.
ZeldaQueen: Oh God, tell me this isn't also an incest fic!
"I wonder what's taking so long." Peter said, looking up at Edmund.
"I know." Edmund replied. "She has to have had the baby by now."
ZeldaQueen: (Edmund) "I mean, we really don't exist unless the Sue is around to make us do stuff, and fading into Limbo is getting rather tiresome"
They both turned their attention back to Rilian, and had just gone back to played with him.
ZeldaQueen: In hindsight, watching the remake of Nightmare on Elm Street before reading this scene wasn't the wisest of choices...
No sooner had they, though, when Lucy walked into the the room with a huge smile on her face.
They both stood up themselves, Peter picking up little Rilian, and starred at her intently.
"Wellll? When did she have the baby? Is it a boy or a girl?" they asked anxiously.
ZeldaQueen: They spoke in unison, such was the power of the Sue
"She had the baby about 5 minutes ago." Lucy replied. "As for whether it's a boy or a girl, why don't you both come and see for yourselves."
ZeldaQueen: Why is everyone treating this like it's a huge secret? There's a fifty-fifty chance of guessing right, for heaven's sake!
"What are we waiting for, then? Let's go." Edmund said impatiently. He walked out first, and everyone else followed, with Lucy now bringing up the rear, closing the the door behind them.
ZeldaQueen: I can't help laughing at that bravado. Seriously, take that out of context and tell me it doesn't sound like they're setting off to follow a map for some treasure or something?
About 5 minutes later, they stood outside the royal bed chamber.
ZeldaQueen: What, no jarring time jump?
Lucy quietly opened the door, and they all tiptoed in, this time with Edmund closing the door behind them.
ZeldaQueen: These details are important, y'all
They took a couple of steps in, and looked around, noticing that the midwife and her nurses had since left. They all looked up and saw Susan standing off to one side of the bed, Anne sitting up in the bed, and Caspian standing on the other side next to her. Then, they noticed that she was cradling a small bundle, and that it was wrapped in pink.
ZeldaQueen: You know, I'm pretty sure the tradition of swaddling baby girls in pink wasn't around for the time period Narnia's in. Does Narnia even have pink dyes?
Well, Peter and Edmund did. Lucy, of course, had been there for the actual birth, so she already knew it was a girl.
ZeldaQueen: WE DON'T CARE! PLEASE END THIS FARCE, NOW!
They all walked a little further into the room, still trying to be as quiet as possible. Unfortunately, though, someone's foot made the tiniest little noise, causing everyone around the bed to look up.
ZeldaQueen: Suddenly, a shot rang out!
Anne was the first of them to saying anything, and did so very quietly. "Hey, you guys. Come on over. There's someone we want you all to meet."
ZeldaQueen: (Sue) "I'm so anachronistic, whee!"
They all did as they were told,
ZeldaQueen: - because the Sue commanded it
with Lucy heading over to where Susan was on the one side of the bed, and Peter, Edmund, and little Rilian heading over to the other.
ZeldaQueen: Suethor. We don't care where everyone is standing! You're not positioning them to recreate The Last Supper! (Though given your irreverence for the themes of this book, it wouldn't surprise me if you did)
Peter set him down carefully, and he quietly made his way over to his father. Caspian leaned over and picked him up, before setting him down on the bed where he had previously been sitting, and then leaned in himself, his right arm resting on the back on the bed.
ZeldaQueen: What was the point of that?
"This" he said, looking at their son, before looking at their new daughter "is your new little sister."
ZeldaQueen: (Caspian) "As you can see, she already shows clear signs of Suedom"
He then glanced over at Anne. "And this" she looked first to Susan and Lucy, and then to Peter and Edmund "is your new little niece, Arianna, or, as she will known to everyone else, Princess Arianna."
ZeldaQueen: OH MY GOD! Of all the Sparklypoo princess names to give her brat!
They all leaned in close, and smiled lovingly at their new niece. "Congratulations, you two. She's beautiful." said Susan. Everyone else voiced their agreement, causing the proud new parents to smile, and lean in for another kiss.
ZeldaQueen: Show off like that one more time, and I'll make you all recreate Catwoman's taser kiss!
After about 20 minutes of conversation, and after all the proud aunts and uncles had had their chance to hold the new baby,
ZeldaQueen: And we see none of it, of course. Although, given how banal the rest of this chapter has been, that's probably a blessing
Peter spoke up. "All right. I think it's about time we let the new family have some time to themselves. C'mon everyone."
ZeldaQueen: (Peter) "Let's time travel back to the twentieth century"
They all waved, and mouthed the words "I love you" before one by one heading out the door, with Peter closing it behind them.
ZeldaQueen: As soon as the knob clicked, Caspian grabbed Rilian and leaped out the window. A second later, the bombs went off, incinerating the Sue and her spawn
It was now just the four of them in the room. Anne looked over at Caspian. "Well, it seems like everyone's gotten to hold our little girl, except for you. Would you like to hold your daughter now, daddy?"
ZeldaQueen: That use of italics kind of implies that this is the first time Caspian's a father. What, doesn't Rilian count?
Oh yeah, he reminds Anne that Caspian had a canon marriage to Lilliandil. Never mind!
He looked over at her, and smiled. "You don't even have to ask. Of course I do." He leaned in, and lifted Arianna out of his wife's arms and into his own.
ZeldaQueen: He then flung her out the window
He smiled down at her and lightly caressed her cheek, tears coming to his eyes as her tiny little hand grabbed his finger.
ZeldaQueen: Jesus buddy, ease up on the crying and take a drink before you dehydrate!
Just then, although not for the first time, she opened her eyes. He blinked a couple of times, not really believing what he saw. Every feature of her face was exactly like his-her eyes, her nose, her cheeks, her eyebrows-everything. Really, except for a little wisp of dark brown curly hair on her head, which she most definitely got from her mother, she was the absolute spitting image of him. He held her up close to his face, and whispered "you're daddy's little girl, and you always will be. I love you" in her ear.
ZeldaQueen: And this all isn't the least bit creepy
He then placed a small kiss on her forehead, before gently setting her back in the arms of her mother. Little did he know, however, that she had been watching this sweet little interaction between father and daughter, with a smile on her face, the whole time.
ZeldaQueen: And that's creepy as well
Once she was comfortably back in her mother's arms, and their son was snuggled up next her, as well, Caspian sat back down on the bed, wrapped his right arm around his wife's shoulders, and kissed the side of her head, before they all turned their attention back to the newest member of their family.
ZeldaQueen: Wow, the baby's already stealing attention away from the Sue mother. That's one powerful Sue spawn
"She really is beautiful, isn't she?" he asked.
"Yes, she really is. She looks exactly like her father, and I wouldn't have it any other way."
ZeldaQueen: (Anne) "Because, in the vein of Bella Swan and Jenna Silverblade, I'm ragingly anti-feminist and think my husband is the only one with good looks the baby should inherit"
They both smiled at each other, before he then gently tilted her chin up, leaned down, and captured her lips with his in yet another amazing kiss.
ZeldaQueen: If the Suethor starts regularly updating, I need to start a kissing count. This is well beyond ridiculous
It was then, in that very moment, alone with her husband, son, and newborn daughter, that Anne started to realize just how much God had blessed not only her, but both of them.
ZeldaQueen: (Anne) "I've got so many fantastic things in my life! What? Caspian? Eh, he's got nice things too. Mainly because of meeee!"
He had blessed her by bringing the most wonderful man into her life, to whom she had now been married just a little over 6 years. He had then blessed both of them by, after just 9 months of marriage, giving them their adorable little son, and now, almost 5 ½ years later, their beautiful new daughter as well.
ZeldaQueen: You know, considering how Aslan is Jesus and also considering how irreverently the Suethor has been treating Aslan, either she honestly missed that symbolism, or she has more balls than a McDonald's Playpit
She didn't just feel like she was living the fairytale life-she really was. If anyone ever asked her what she would change about it, she knew just how she'd answer them-not a thing, not one little thing.
ZeldaQueen: Because everything was going well for her, after all. The rest of the population of Narnia, who undoubtedly suffered losses in the battles she and her siblings fought in? Eh, fuck 'em. They aren't hot, anyway
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ZeldaQueen: And...that's it for our first Narnia Sue, everyone! Let's give her a round of applause before planning her messy demise. Next up - our chagrin's going to get a lot more sparkly!
Back to: Chapter 4
Back to: Table of Contents
Projection Room Voices: Starting Media in 3...2...1...
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Chapter 5
1 month later...early morning
ZeldaQueen: Toast for breakfast... cloudy with a chance for showers...
Wait. One month? Fantastic, let's see what this chapter's all about
Queen Anne had gone to bed around 9:00 the night before, and had been sleeping pretty well up until now. All of a sudden, a sharp pain shot through her, but then just as quickly went away.
ZeldaQueen: The sporker took aim and stabbed again
She had tried to go back to sleep, and had no sooner shut her eyes when it happened again, this time leaving a very familiar wetness in it's wake.
ZeldaQueen: Augh! Not this tripe again!
She looked over at Caspian. She knew he had been very tired lately, and she did want to let him sleep, but he had to know that their second child was now officially on his or her way.
ZeldaQueen: He's king! Go off with the midwife to another room or something!
She leaned over as best I could, and whispered in his ear.
"Caspian." She shook his shoulder a little bit. "Wake up, darling. It's time. The baby's coming."
ZeldaQueen: (Anne) "Is my audience ready?"
"That's nice." he said, sleepily. Then, not even 2 second later, he practically shot out of bed, finally realizing what she had just told him.
"Really? Already?"
ZeldaQueen: This is My Inner Life all over again! The Suethors really are twins!
She nodded, and pulled down the covers a little, revealing a huge wet spot on her nightgown.
ZeldaQueen: ...Yeah, I really wanted to be reminded of that
"All right, my love. Just stay calm, and breathe." He leaned over a gave her a kiss. "I'll be right back."
He walked out the door, closed it, and then yelled down the hall. "PETER, SUSAN, EDMUND, LUCY!" At that instant, all their doors flew open, and they came running out, and over to where he stood."
"Caspian, what's going on?" asked Susan, now very much awake.
"It's Anne. She just went into labor. Quick, go get the midwife! Hurry!"
ZeldaQueen: THEY ARE THE KINGS AND QUEENS OF NARNIA! EVERYONE IN THE CASTLE ISN'T WOKEN JUST FOR CHILDBIRTH! WHY WOULD ALL THREE OF THEM NEED TO BE CALLED? I AM SO ANGRY, I LOST MY LOWER CASE LETTERS!
Everybody's eyes got wide, hers included, and she turned and ran in the direction of the midwife.
ZeldaQueen: *growls* Queen Susan is not a servant!
While they waited, everyone did their best to keep the nervous father-to-be (again) calm. Lucy laid a reassuring hand on his arm.
"It's all right. It will all be okay in the end-you'll see."
ZeldaQueen: These people are pathetic
"Thanks, Lucy." They shared a brief hug, before Peter spoke up.
"Look, Caspian. We'll all wait here for Susan and the midwife. You go on back in there."
"Yeah." Edmund agreed. "She needs you right now."
He nodded. "Okay, thanks you guys." He walked back into the room, and closed the door.
ZeldaQueen: *gnashes teeth* Men weren't present while their wives were giving birth! Suethor, I know you saw Prince Caspian. Miraz wasn't there when his wife was having their child!
"How are you feeling, my love?" He asked, walking back over to her.
She was just about to answer, when another contraction started up. "Oooo." She gritted her teeth in pain, and squeezed his hand.
ZeldaQueen: The sporker had moved from stabbing her to trying to strangle her with a rope
"Just breathe. The midwife will be here soon. I promise." He picked her hand up in his, and then leaned in and kissed her forehead.
No sooner had he said that than the midwife and her 4 nurses, followed by Susan and Lucy, hurried into the room.
ZeldaQueen: Apparently they were behind the door, listening for their cue
"Wait a minute!" she blurted out suddenly, in between contractions, a look of worry spread across her face. "Who's watching Rilian?"
"Relax, Anne. Don't worry." Lucy comforted her, taking one of her hands and giving it a reassuring pat. "Peter and Edmund have that all under control."
ZeldaQueen: SERVANTS! THEY! HAVE! SERVANTS!!!
I'm sorry but that one really pisses me off. He's in a castle! There are people out the wazoo, all of them paid to help look after the royal family! And apparently they've all mysteriously vanished, leaving the Kings of Narnia to babysit
"That's right, my love." Caspian piped in. "Don't worry. The only thing you need to do right now is concentrate on having this baby. Just think, a few hours from now, we'll be holding our new little prince or princess in our arms." They both smiled, before leaning in for a brief kiss.
ZeldaQueen: I'm going to coat their lips with super-glue in the middle of the night, and then laugh maniacally the next time they make out like that
Just then, the midwife looked up, after having checked her, and smiled. "Actually, your majesties, it may be just a couple of hours. Things are moving along rather quickly."
ZeldaQueen: Is there really a difference between "a few hours" and "a couple of hours"?
"That's wonder,..." but before she could finish, a huge contraction swept over her,
ZeldaQueen: Seriously, it sounds like they're waves or something
causing her to let out the loudest scream anyone in the room had ever heard.
ZeldaQueen: The glass all shattered and opera singers were put to shame. It was magnificent
By now, Susan had taken Lucy's place next to the bed, and Caspian was on the other side.
ZeldaQueen: This is important. Somehow
They were each holding a hand, and each of their hands felt like it was about to fall of. It's wasn't easy, but they both managed to hold in a cry of pain, considering all the pain the Queen was in at the moment.
ZeldaQueen: *snarls at the uselessness of the Sue*
When the contraction had finally ended, she, much to their delight, had let go their hands. As you can imagine, after 4 hours of this, Anne was absolutely dripping with sweat, and needed something to cool her off a little. Then, as if Caspian could somehow read her mind, he took a piece of cloth, dipped it in cold water, and wiped her forehead with it. She looked up at him gratefully, and smiled.
"Thanks."
"Anything for you, darling. Anything for you."
ZeldaQueen: But what about those bone-crushing contractions? Come on,
Just then, yet another contraction swept over, causing her to let out another painful scream, and again squeeze the hands of those trying to comfort her. "Please God, make it stop! It hurts too much! Just get this baby out of me!" she screamed.
ZeldaQueen: ...I amend my previous theory. Arielanne is Link's Queen. It's the only possible explanation
"I know. I know. You're getting closer, though." He got the cloth wet, and once again wiped her forehead. "It won't be too much longer now. I promise." He leaned in, and so that his forehead was touching hers. "I love you." he whispered in her ear. "More than you'll ever know."
"I love you, too." They shared in a very brief kiss,
ZeldaQueen: STOP THAT!
before yet another contraction came upon her, and she once again screamed out in pain. Just at quickly as it had come on, it passed just as quickly, and she flopped back against the pillows. "Please, God." she thought herself. "Please, just let all this be over. I don't think I can take much more of this pain."
ZeldaQueen: I'm thinking exactly the same thing
Little did she know, however, that the pain she had already experienced was only the beginning. It was about to get worse-much worse.
ZeldaQueen: Dude, you're having a baby, not undergoing torture on the Death Star!
2 hours later...
It seemed like for forever, but before everyone knew it, another 2 hours had passed. Anne had now been in labor for 5 ½ hours, and didn't think she could take much more.
ZeldaQueen: Neither can I. Does anything plot-related happen in this chapter? Or in this story, for that matter?
Thankfully, the midwife was about to give her some good news-some very good news.
"All right, your Majesty," The midwife looked up at her, and smiled. "It looks like you're finally ready to push."
"Finally." She thought to herself, looking up. "Thank you."
ZeldaQueen: And then they pushed her out the window.
Look, if the Suethor's allowed to be repetitive, so am I!
Lucy took hold of her left hand, and Caspian took hold of her right, covering it with his other hand and kissing it.
ZeldaQueen: Does that guy know how to do anything else? I'm reminded of when my dog was a puppy and my mom would try to get it into her head that eating mud in the yard Wasn't Good. She just knew to wag her tail and look cute. She also licked my mom's face, which didn't go over so well given the mud-eating, but I digress. I wonder if Caspian will start kissing everyone for every problem? Probably make the peace talks more interesting, at any rate
She then looked up at the midwife. "I'm ready."
ZeldaQueen: *singing* Transformation central!
"Now," said the midwife. "as soon as you feel the urge to do so, I want you to give me one good, strong push."
ZeldaQueen: I have the urge to push her. Is that close enough?
She had only waited maybe 30 seconds or so, before a contraction hit and she felt the urge to push. She did so with everything she had, and when it was over, she leaned back against the pillows.
"Okay, one more push, and the head should be out." Another contraction swept over her. She again pushed with all her might, screaming probably the loudest she had ever screamed in her life, as the head started to crown."
"Good, the head's out, My Queen. Just one more push, and you'll finally have your baby."
ZeldaQueen: My word, this is interesting!
She waited for another contraction, and as soon as it came around, she pushed down with all her remaining strength, letting out one final scream as she did. She then felt something slip out of her, followed by the sound they had both been waiting hear for the last 9 months and 6 hours-the healthy cries of a baby.
ZeldaQueen: And lo, a beam of light did shine upon it and heavenly music did play, for it was the successor of the Head Sue!
"Congratulations, my Queen. You have a very healthy little..."
"Wait," She stopped her before she could finish.
ZeldaQueen: I kind of figured that, given that the midwife didn't finish and all
"I want Caspian to tell me what we have."
ZeldaQueen: (Midwife) "Congratulations, your majesty! The Queen has given birth to a healthy baby seal!"
"Very well." She looked up at Caspian. "My King, would you do the honors?"
ZeldaQueen: (Midwife) "I mean, it's not like you have more important matters to attend to"
He nodded, and walked down to the end of the bed.
He looked down at the baby, and a huge smile came over his face. As he looked back up at her, still smiling, she could clearly see tears rolling down his cheeks.
ZeldaQueen: (Caspian) "My cheeks are in pain from smiling so much!"
"It's a girl." he said, all choked up. "We have a beautiful, healthy little girl."
ZeldaQueen: Of course they do. No Mary Sue fanfiction like this is complete without a Princess Sparklypoo Sue to take after her mother
He wrapped his right arm around both her shoulders, leaned in, kissed the side of her head, and whispered softly in her ear. "You are amazing. I love you so much. She's absolutely perfect."
ZeldaQueen: ...Um, you provided a few chromosomes there too, Caspian
By now, of course, Anne had started crying as well. They both leaned in for kiss, and then anxiously waited for their new daughter to be brought back over.
ZeldaQueen: To pass the time, they cried some more
About 5 minutes later...
ZeldaQueen: Because it's crucial to label time jumps like that!
It had seemed like forever, but the midwife finally brought their daughter back over to them, wrapped snugly in a soft pink blanket, her tiny arms waving wildly about in the air.
ZeldaQueen: (Sue Baby) "MWAH HA HA! I have successfully infiltrated this fic through the Head Sue's vagina! Now, to snare various canon characters under my spell, using naught but my Sue Baby charms! I shall RULE THE WORLD and take over, once Mommy has died in some tragic way! But first, a diaper change!"
As the baby was placed in Anne's arms, Susan motioned to Lucy to go and get Peter, Edmund, and little Rilian. Lucy ran out the door, quietly closing it behind her.
Meanwhile, in the Princes' room, not too far away...
ZeldaQueen: There's a Star Wars parody in there, I just know it
Peter and Edmund were both sitting on the floor, playing with their little nephew.
ZeldaQueen: Oh God, tell me this isn't also an incest fic!
"I wonder what's taking so long." Peter said, looking up at Edmund.
"I know." Edmund replied. "She has to have had the baby by now."
ZeldaQueen: (Edmund) "I mean, we really don't exist unless the Sue is around to make us do stuff, and fading into Limbo is getting rather tiresome"
They both turned their attention back to Rilian, and had just gone back to played with him.
ZeldaQueen: In hindsight, watching the remake of Nightmare on Elm Street before reading this scene wasn't the wisest of choices...
No sooner had they, though, when Lucy walked into the the room with a huge smile on her face.
They both stood up themselves, Peter picking up little Rilian, and starred at her intently.
"Wellll? When did she have the baby? Is it a boy or a girl?" they asked anxiously.
ZeldaQueen: They spoke in unison, such was the power of the Sue
"She had the baby about 5 minutes ago." Lucy replied. "As for whether it's a boy or a girl, why don't you both come and see for yourselves."
ZeldaQueen: Why is everyone treating this like it's a huge secret? There's a fifty-fifty chance of guessing right, for heaven's sake!
"What are we waiting for, then? Let's go." Edmund said impatiently. He walked out first, and everyone else followed, with Lucy now bringing up the rear, closing the the door behind them.
ZeldaQueen: I can't help laughing at that bravado. Seriously, take that out of context and tell me it doesn't sound like they're setting off to follow a map for some treasure or something?
About 5 minutes later, they stood outside the royal bed chamber.
ZeldaQueen: What, no jarring time jump?
Lucy quietly opened the door, and they all tiptoed in, this time with Edmund closing the door behind them.
ZeldaQueen: These details are important, y'all
They took a couple of steps in, and looked around, noticing that the midwife and her nurses had since left. They all looked up and saw Susan standing off to one side of the bed, Anne sitting up in the bed, and Caspian standing on the other side next to her. Then, they noticed that she was cradling a small bundle, and that it was wrapped in pink.
ZeldaQueen: You know, I'm pretty sure the tradition of swaddling baby girls in pink wasn't around for the time period Narnia's in. Does Narnia even have pink dyes?
Well, Peter and Edmund did. Lucy, of course, had been there for the actual birth, so she already knew it was a girl.
ZeldaQueen: WE DON'T CARE! PLEASE END THIS FARCE, NOW!
They all walked a little further into the room, still trying to be as quiet as possible. Unfortunately, though, someone's foot made the tiniest little noise, causing everyone around the bed to look up.
ZeldaQueen: Suddenly, a shot rang out!
Anne was the first of them to saying anything, and did so very quietly. "Hey, you guys. Come on over. There's someone we want you all to meet."
ZeldaQueen: (Sue) "I'm so anachronistic, whee!"
They all did as they were told,
ZeldaQueen: - because the Sue commanded it
with Lucy heading over to where Susan was on the one side of the bed, and Peter, Edmund, and little Rilian heading over to the other.
ZeldaQueen: Suethor. We don't care where everyone is standing! You're not positioning them to recreate The Last Supper! (Though given your irreverence for the themes of this book, it wouldn't surprise me if you did)
Peter set him down carefully, and he quietly made his way over to his father. Caspian leaned over and picked him up, before setting him down on the bed where he had previously been sitting, and then leaned in himself, his right arm resting on the back on the bed.
ZeldaQueen: What was the point of that?
"This" he said, looking at their son, before looking at their new daughter "is your new little sister."
ZeldaQueen: (Caspian) "As you can see, she already shows clear signs of Suedom"
He then glanced over at Anne. "And this" she looked first to Susan and Lucy, and then to Peter and Edmund "is your new little niece, Arianna, or, as she will known to everyone else, Princess Arianna."
ZeldaQueen: OH MY GOD! Of all the Sparklypoo princess names to give her brat!
They all leaned in close, and smiled lovingly at their new niece. "Congratulations, you two. She's beautiful." said Susan. Everyone else voiced their agreement, causing the proud new parents to smile, and lean in for another kiss.
ZeldaQueen: Show off like that one more time, and I'll make you all recreate Catwoman's taser kiss!
After about 20 minutes of conversation, and after all the proud aunts and uncles had had their chance to hold the new baby,
ZeldaQueen: And we see none of it, of course. Although, given how banal the rest of this chapter has been, that's probably a blessing
Peter spoke up. "All right. I think it's about time we let the new family have some time to themselves. C'mon everyone."
ZeldaQueen: (Peter) "Let's time travel back to the twentieth century"
They all waved, and mouthed the words "I love you" before one by one heading out the door, with Peter closing it behind them.
ZeldaQueen: As soon as the knob clicked, Caspian grabbed Rilian and leaped out the window. A second later, the bombs went off, incinerating the Sue and her spawn
It was now just the four of them in the room. Anne looked over at Caspian. "Well, it seems like everyone's gotten to hold our little girl, except for you. Would you like to hold your daughter now, daddy?"
ZeldaQueen: That use of italics kind of implies that this is the first time Caspian's a father. What, doesn't Rilian count?
Oh yeah, he reminds Anne that Caspian had a canon marriage to Lilliandil. Never mind!
He looked over at her, and smiled. "You don't even have to ask. Of course I do." He leaned in, and lifted Arianna out of his wife's arms and into his own.
ZeldaQueen: He then flung her out the window
He smiled down at her and lightly caressed her cheek, tears coming to his eyes as her tiny little hand grabbed his finger.
ZeldaQueen: Jesus buddy, ease up on the crying and take a drink before you dehydrate!
Just then, although not for the first time, she opened her eyes. He blinked a couple of times, not really believing what he saw. Every feature of her face was exactly like his-her eyes, her nose, her cheeks, her eyebrows-everything. Really, except for a little wisp of dark brown curly hair on her head, which she most definitely got from her mother, she was the absolute spitting image of him. He held her up close to his face, and whispered "you're daddy's little girl, and you always will be. I love you" in her ear.
ZeldaQueen: And this all isn't the least bit creepy
He then placed a small kiss on her forehead, before gently setting her back in the arms of her mother. Little did he know, however, that she had been watching this sweet little interaction between father and daughter, with a smile on her face, the whole time.
ZeldaQueen: And that's creepy as well
Once she was comfortably back in her mother's arms, and their son was snuggled up next her, as well, Caspian sat back down on the bed, wrapped his right arm around his wife's shoulders, and kissed the side of her head, before they all turned their attention back to the newest member of their family.
ZeldaQueen: Wow, the baby's already stealing attention away from the Sue mother. That's one powerful Sue spawn
"She really is beautiful, isn't she?" he asked.
"Yes, she really is. She looks exactly like her father, and I wouldn't have it any other way."
ZeldaQueen: (Anne) "Because, in the vein of Bella Swan and Jenna Silverblade, I'm ragingly anti-feminist and think my husband is the only one with good looks the baby should inherit"
They both smiled at each other, before he then gently tilted her chin up, leaned down, and captured her lips with his in yet another amazing kiss.
ZeldaQueen: If the Suethor starts regularly updating, I need to start a kissing count. This is well beyond ridiculous
It was then, in that very moment, alone with her husband, son, and newborn daughter, that Anne started to realize just how much God had blessed not only her, but both of them.
ZeldaQueen: (Anne) "I've got so many fantastic things in my life! What? Caspian? Eh, he's got nice things too. Mainly because of meeee!"
He had blessed her by bringing the most wonderful man into her life, to whom she had now been married just a little over 6 years. He had then blessed both of them by, after just 9 months of marriage, giving them their adorable little son, and now, almost 5 ½ years later, their beautiful new daughter as well.
ZeldaQueen: You know, considering how Aslan is Jesus and also considering how irreverently the Suethor has been treating Aslan, either she honestly missed that symbolism, or she has more balls than a McDonald's Playpit
She didn't just feel like she was living the fairytale life-she really was. If anyone ever asked her what she would change about it, she knew just how she'd answer them-not a thing, not one little thing.
ZeldaQueen: Because everything was going well for her, after all. The rest of the population of Narnia, who undoubtedly suffered losses in the battles she and her siblings fought in? Eh, fuck 'em. They aren't hot, anyway
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ZeldaQueen: And...that's it for our first Narnia Sue, everyone! Let's give her a round of applause before planning her messy demise. Next up - our chagrin's going to get a lot more sparkly!
Back to: Chapter 4
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