Marked: Chapter 22
ZeldaQueen: Is the story over yet? I really want the story to be over
Projection Room Voices: Starting Media in 3...2...1...
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Chapter 22
ZeldaQueen: Everyone is finally clued in on the idea that Zoey wants to replace Aphrodite as the Queen Bee, and are worried that she's marching around in Enemy Territory. Erin advises her to get a battle plan and fast, or else she'll be chewed up and spat out. And I must pause here to say something.
As countless books and movies have shown us, it is possible to have the cliched Mean Girl actually make life Hell for the protagonist. If she is in good favor with most of the students and teachers, and if she is clever and resourceful enough, she can easily avoid the New Girl's bids for power and turn them back on her. After all, look at how Regina George pretty much caused total chaos in her high school, plus blamed the entire thing on her former friends. All it took was a picture, some glue, a pair of scissors, and her Burn Book. Ideally, it would be even easier to write in a vampire bitch as a dangerous opponent. Not only is there the usual Mean Girl methods, but she can also bite large chunks out of you and rip your fingers off if you piss her off.
That being said? I have absolutely no sense of danger when I hear that Zoey will be hanging around with Aphrodite all of the time.
Why?
BECAUSE APHRODITE HAS DONE DIDDLY-DICK TO ACTUALLY COME ACROSS AS A DANGEROUS OPPONENT!!!
Seriously! The only efficient thing she has done is the blood-in-wine hazing! That was good! That was decent! And that's ALL. THERE. IS! She doesn't get Zoey ostracized by half of the school. She doesn't spread rumors about how Zoey is such a sex blood deviant. She makes no effort to put down or humiliate or dominate Zoey, besides her lame snipes. We're supposed to think that Zoey is brave for standing up to her? No! Zoey's not brave, Aphrodite's lame! And therein lies most of the problem with this so-called conflict! Take a look at these examples
In Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone, Harry and his friends were trying to stop Voldemort from stealing the stone, because if he got it, he would rise to power. It was established that Voldemort killed and tortured countless people, and was very much a threat to the entire wizarding world.
In The Fellowship of the Ring, Frodo and Co must set out to destroy the One Ring. Everything and everyone, from the monsters they fight, to the allies within the Fellowship, to the Ring itself are trying to get the Ring back to Sauron's grasp. And if Sauron regains the ring, he will rise to full power. When Sauron was last in full power, Middle Earth was either locked in endless wars or enslavement.
In The Lion, The Witch, and the Wardrobe, the Pevensie children must lead Narnia against the forces of the White Witch. While she is in power, she keeps the land in a wintery stasis, turning everyone who opposes her to stone.
In The Golden Compass, Lyra must stop the Gobblers from experimenting on children and finding a way to sever their souls from their bodies. She later must stop the Magisterium from finding a way to travel to other dimensions and enslave those worlds as well as her own.
Now, look at all of those examples. What do you see that they have in common?
Scale.
All of the conflicts in those stories are of a very large scale. Entire lands are at stake. People are dying or will die. If something isn't done immediately, Bad Things Will Happen.
This? Not at all. Oh, I'm sure we're supposed to see it like that. We're supposed to think "Well, if Zoey doesn't do something, Aphrodite will become High Priestess and That Will Be Bad!" Okay, fine. Just answer me two questions.
First - so how long until Aphrodite becomes High Priestess anyway? We have no idea how much training she has left. We have no idea how close to graduating she is. It's fall, so I'd assume that it's the start of the school year. Zoey is acting like Aphrodite must be removed from power this very second, which is why we're speeding through the plot so damned sloppily. From what I can see, there's no need for that. The Cast ladies could have easily slowed things down and taken time for Zoey to learn about the vampire world and her powers and whatnot.
Second - again I ask, where does the High Priestess stand, in regards to the vampire world? Are there more than one? Is it like being the Pope? Does the High Priestess set the vampire community's laws? Does the High Priestess act as judge, jury, and executioner? Is she like the Dali Lama, and treated as Nyx in living form? In other words, why the fuck should I care if Aphrodite becomes High Priestess? The significance of the job means nothing to me, because I have no idea what it entails. It's about as impressive as the Volturi. In the above examples, the bad guys were queens, government officials, war kings, and dictators. We were given a very good sense of where they stood in the world. Because we understood the power of their positions, we understood the importance of why they must be kept out of it. We don't get that here, at all.
You know, it depresses me that none of the characters every notice this stuff.
So yeah, back to the story. Zoey says that she has an idea, and Stevie Rae says great, what is it? Zoey repeats her purification ritual idea, and there's a pause from everyone. If these people were at all in touch with reality, they would laugh at her before asking why don't they come up with a more direct plan that might actually get results.
In this, everyone agrees that the plan is just cracker-jack, plus there's a ton of gushing over how Zoey is Cherokee because WOW THAT'S, LIKE, SOOOOO AMAZING! Stevie Rae then pressures Zoey into telling everyone how she might have an affinity for all five elements, and Jesus Christ, I haven't seen this much Sue praising in Breaking Dawn, Child of Grace, Rose Potter, and My Inner Life combined! Everyone just keeps going on about how rare and speshul that is, and how that's just so awesome, and Zoey can totally take on Aphrodite. And in case anyone's getting their hopes up, the two don't actually fight.
Everyone then starts asking when they're doing the purification thing, and somehow jump to the conclusion that Zoey will need to cast that elemental circle thingy to fully reach Nyx. I shall repeat that - they are going to combine a Wiccan ritual with a Cherokee ritual and use it to get a blessing from an ancient Greek goddess.
How the fuck does this work? No, really. There is absolutely no level I can see where this makes the slightest bit of sense, including in regards to getting rid of Aphrodite!
*sighs* So yeah, they basically talk about what ingredients they need and who will steal what, and how best to modify the purification ritual to incorporate the five elements thingy. I will admit this - if this were better handled, this could actually be very interesting. Like, say, Zoey just can't get the hang of the five elements ritual the way Neferet does it, so she modifies it to relate to a ritual she's familiar with. But the trouble is, that scenario would require Zoey to fail at something (intentionally, I mean).
So they plan to meet later that day for the ritual, and make elaborate plans to make sure that the Dark Daughters don't see them (nothing comes of this), and Damien pompously uses words that are supposed to be "big" and Erin and Shaunee mock him with a "your mom" joke. Is this chapter over yet? It's not? God damn!
We get a laundry list of the classes next. Apparently Zoey has already gotten the hang of Spanish, you know after one day (seriously, can the Cast ladies even remember their timeline?) And they're still mucking the stables in Equestrian class and...that's it. That's all we get.
And then...the day's over, just like that. Well damn, that was fast. Zoey is all excited because she might get to ride Persephone the horse in the upcoming week (we never see this), when Aphrodite comes creeping up and starts getting all bitchy at Zoey. Zoey instantly panics because OH NO, SHE KNOWS ABOUT THAT PURIFICATION RITUAL, WHATEVER SHALL THEY DO??? Oh, but it's just Aphrodite being jealous over Erik. Ha ha! Zoey says that Aphrodite sounds like his mother, and she replies with "Did I look like Erik's mom when you watched me suck his dick in the hall?" Zoey promptly starts lecturing Aphrodite on how desperate and pathetic she looked wanting sex, ew, and DAMN IT CAST LADIES, STOP HAVING YOUR MARY SUE SOAP BOX AT ME!
I'm sorry.
Aphrodite moves to claw Zoey's face, a noble effort if I've ever seen one. Instead...this happens
"Then it seemed that the world stopped, leaving the two of us in a little bubble of slow-motion. I caught her wrist, stopping her easily-too easily. It was like she was a small, sick child who had struck out in anger, but was really too weak to do any harm. I held her there for a moment, meeting her hateful eyes.
'Don't ever try to hit me again. I'm not one of the kids you can bully. Get this, and get this now. I am not scared of you.' Then I flung her wrist away from me, and was totally shocked to see her stagger back several feet"
ZeldaQueen: You know, Ms and Ms Cast, those "stand up to the bully" scenes are so much more effective when the character actually used to be afraid! Granted, no one in their right mind would be afraid of Aphrodite in real life, but in this story, she's supposed to be the scariest Sue to ever climb out of the primordial ooze!
Aphrodite says that she's kicking Zoey out of the Dark Daughters, and Zoey says fine, have fun telling Neferet how she was being petty over a guy. Zoey also makes it clear that she'll be employing the Wounded Gazelle Gambit, sobbing her eyes out when that explanation comes. Is it just me, or does that sound like something Regina George would do?
Next, Aphrodite starts threatening Zoey with isolation, asking her "Do you know what it's like to be a part of something and have no one else in the group want you there?" In a better story, this could lead to a very effective bout of emotional bullying. Here, we get Zoey briefly (and I mean briefly) wangsting about how she knows what that's like because of her family. To Aphrodite, she starts bragging about how Erik is perfectly happy to have her there, and so she'll never have no one want her. Why don't you just start singing about how you don't like his girlfriend, Zoey?
Aphrodite gets one last shot in, screaming about how the Dark Daughters are loyal to her, and how she and Erik have a bond and whatnot and Zoey will never have a place there. I'd like to remind you all that we have seven chapters left, so that ought to give you an idea of how much "revenge" we get here.
Anyway, she storms off and Stevie Rae pops out from the tree she was hiding behind. She promptly starts licking Zoey's face and squeeing about how brave Zoey was (umm...no she wasn't) and how scary Aphrodite is (no, she's not!)
And so they set off for their purification ritual, with a random flashback to when Nyx filled in Zoey's Mark. And...the chapter ends. The heck?!? What was the point of that? Nothing happened! We already knew that Aphrodite was a jealous bitch! This is just...
Why do I even care?
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Onward to: Chapter 23
Back to: Chapter 21
Back to: Table of Contents
Projection Room Voices: Starting Media in 3...2...1...
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Chapter 22
ZeldaQueen: Everyone is finally clued in on the idea that Zoey wants to replace Aphrodite as the Queen Bee, and are worried that she's marching around in Enemy Territory. Erin advises her to get a battle plan and fast, or else she'll be chewed up and spat out. And I must pause here to say something.
As countless books and movies have shown us, it is possible to have the cliched Mean Girl actually make life Hell for the protagonist. If she is in good favor with most of the students and teachers, and if she is clever and resourceful enough, she can easily avoid the New Girl's bids for power and turn them back on her. After all, look at how Regina George pretty much caused total chaos in her high school, plus blamed the entire thing on her former friends. All it took was a picture, some glue, a pair of scissors, and her Burn Book. Ideally, it would be even easier to write in a vampire bitch as a dangerous opponent. Not only is there the usual Mean Girl methods, but she can also bite large chunks out of you and rip your fingers off if you piss her off.
That being said? I have absolutely no sense of danger when I hear that Zoey will be hanging around with Aphrodite all of the time.
Why?
BECAUSE APHRODITE HAS DONE DIDDLY-DICK TO ACTUALLY COME ACROSS AS A DANGEROUS OPPONENT!!!
Seriously! The only efficient thing she has done is the blood-in-wine hazing! That was good! That was decent! And that's ALL. THERE. IS! She doesn't get Zoey ostracized by half of the school. She doesn't spread rumors about how Zoey is such a sex blood deviant. She makes no effort to put down or humiliate or dominate Zoey, besides her lame snipes. We're supposed to think that Zoey is brave for standing up to her? No! Zoey's not brave, Aphrodite's lame! And therein lies most of the problem with this so-called conflict! Take a look at these examples
In Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone, Harry and his friends were trying to stop Voldemort from stealing the stone, because if he got it, he would rise to power. It was established that Voldemort killed and tortured countless people, and was very much a threat to the entire wizarding world.
In The Fellowship of the Ring, Frodo and Co must set out to destroy the One Ring. Everything and everyone, from the monsters they fight, to the allies within the Fellowship, to the Ring itself are trying to get the Ring back to Sauron's grasp. And if Sauron regains the ring, he will rise to full power. When Sauron was last in full power, Middle Earth was either locked in endless wars or enslavement.
In The Lion, The Witch, and the Wardrobe, the Pevensie children must lead Narnia against the forces of the White Witch. While she is in power, she keeps the land in a wintery stasis, turning everyone who opposes her to stone.
In The Golden Compass, Lyra must stop the Gobblers from experimenting on children and finding a way to sever their souls from their bodies. She later must stop the Magisterium from finding a way to travel to other dimensions and enslave those worlds as well as her own.
Now, look at all of those examples. What do you see that they have in common?
Scale.
All of the conflicts in those stories are of a very large scale. Entire lands are at stake. People are dying or will die. If something isn't done immediately, Bad Things Will Happen.
This? Not at all. Oh, I'm sure we're supposed to see it like that. We're supposed to think "Well, if Zoey doesn't do something, Aphrodite will become High Priestess and That Will Be Bad!" Okay, fine. Just answer me two questions.
First - so how long until Aphrodite becomes High Priestess anyway? We have no idea how much training she has left. We have no idea how close to graduating she is. It's fall, so I'd assume that it's the start of the school year. Zoey is acting like Aphrodite must be removed from power this very second, which is why we're speeding through the plot so damned sloppily. From what I can see, there's no need for that. The Cast ladies could have easily slowed things down and taken time for Zoey to learn about the vampire world and her powers and whatnot.
Second - again I ask, where does the High Priestess stand, in regards to the vampire world? Are there more than one? Is it like being the Pope? Does the High Priestess set the vampire community's laws? Does the High Priestess act as judge, jury, and executioner? Is she like the Dali Lama, and treated as Nyx in living form? In other words, why the fuck should I care if Aphrodite becomes High Priestess? The significance of the job means nothing to me, because I have no idea what it entails. It's about as impressive as the Volturi. In the above examples, the bad guys were queens, government officials, war kings, and dictators. We were given a very good sense of where they stood in the world. Because we understood the power of their positions, we understood the importance of why they must be kept out of it. We don't get that here, at all.
You know, it depresses me that none of the characters every notice this stuff.
So yeah, back to the story. Zoey says that she has an idea, and Stevie Rae says great, what is it? Zoey repeats her purification ritual idea, and there's a pause from everyone. If these people were at all in touch with reality, they would laugh at her before asking why don't they come up with a more direct plan that might actually get results.
In this, everyone agrees that the plan is just cracker-jack, plus there's a ton of gushing over how Zoey is Cherokee because WOW THAT'S, LIKE, SOOOOO AMAZING! Stevie Rae then pressures Zoey into telling everyone how she might have an affinity for all five elements, and Jesus Christ, I haven't seen this much Sue praising in Breaking Dawn, Child of Grace, Rose Potter, and My Inner Life combined! Everyone just keeps going on about how rare and speshul that is, and how that's just so awesome, and Zoey can totally take on Aphrodite. And in case anyone's getting their hopes up, the two don't actually fight.
Everyone then starts asking when they're doing the purification thing, and somehow jump to the conclusion that Zoey will need to cast that elemental circle thingy to fully reach Nyx. I shall repeat that - they are going to combine a Wiccan ritual with a Cherokee ritual and use it to get a blessing from an ancient Greek goddess.
How the fuck does this work? No, really. There is absolutely no level I can see where this makes the slightest bit of sense, including in regards to getting rid of Aphrodite!
*sighs* So yeah, they basically talk about what ingredients they need and who will steal what, and how best to modify the purification ritual to incorporate the five elements thingy. I will admit this - if this were better handled, this could actually be very interesting. Like, say, Zoey just can't get the hang of the five elements ritual the way Neferet does it, so she modifies it to relate to a ritual she's familiar with. But the trouble is, that scenario would require Zoey to fail at something (intentionally, I mean).
So they plan to meet later that day for the ritual, and make elaborate plans to make sure that the Dark Daughters don't see them (nothing comes of this), and Damien pompously uses words that are supposed to be "big" and Erin and Shaunee mock him with a "your mom" joke. Is this chapter over yet? It's not? God damn!
We get a laundry list of the classes next. Apparently Zoey has already gotten the hang of Spanish, you know after one day (seriously, can the Cast ladies even remember their timeline?) And they're still mucking the stables in Equestrian class and...that's it. That's all we get.
And then...the day's over, just like that. Well damn, that was fast. Zoey is all excited because she might get to ride Persephone the horse in the upcoming week (we never see this), when Aphrodite comes creeping up and starts getting all bitchy at Zoey. Zoey instantly panics because OH NO, SHE KNOWS ABOUT THAT PURIFICATION RITUAL, WHATEVER SHALL THEY DO??? Oh, but it's just Aphrodite being jealous over Erik. Ha ha! Zoey says that Aphrodite sounds like his mother, and she replies with "Did I look like Erik's mom when you watched me suck his dick in the hall?" Zoey promptly starts lecturing Aphrodite on how desperate and pathetic she looked wanting sex, ew, and DAMN IT CAST LADIES, STOP HAVING YOUR MARY SUE SOAP BOX AT ME!
I'm sorry.
Aphrodite moves to claw Zoey's face, a noble effort if I've ever seen one. Instead...this happens
"Then it seemed that the world stopped, leaving the two of us in a little bubble of slow-motion. I caught her wrist, stopping her easily-too easily. It was like she was a small, sick child who had struck out in anger, but was really too weak to do any harm. I held her there for a moment, meeting her hateful eyes.
'Don't ever try to hit me again. I'm not one of the kids you can bully. Get this, and get this now. I am not scared of you.' Then I flung her wrist away from me, and was totally shocked to see her stagger back several feet"
ZeldaQueen: You know, Ms and Ms Cast, those "stand up to the bully" scenes are so much more effective when the character actually used to be afraid! Granted, no one in their right mind would be afraid of Aphrodite in real life, but in this story, she's supposed to be the scariest Sue to ever climb out of the primordial ooze!
Aphrodite says that she's kicking Zoey out of the Dark Daughters, and Zoey says fine, have fun telling Neferet how she was being petty over a guy. Zoey also makes it clear that she'll be employing the Wounded Gazelle Gambit, sobbing her eyes out when that explanation comes. Is it just me, or does that sound like something Regina George would do?
Next, Aphrodite starts threatening Zoey with isolation, asking her "Do you know what it's like to be a part of something and have no one else in the group want you there?" In a better story, this could lead to a very effective bout of emotional bullying. Here, we get Zoey briefly (and I mean briefly) wangsting about how she knows what that's like because of her family. To Aphrodite, she starts bragging about how Erik is perfectly happy to have her there, and so she'll never have no one want her. Why don't you just start singing about how you don't like his girlfriend, Zoey?
Aphrodite gets one last shot in, screaming about how the Dark Daughters are loyal to her, and how she and Erik have a bond and whatnot and Zoey will never have a place there. I'd like to remind you all that we have seven chapters left, so that ought to give you an idea of how much "revenge" we get here.
Anyway, she storms off and Stevie Rae pops out from the tree she was hiding behind. She promptly starts licking Zoey's face and squeeing about how brave Zoey was (umm...no she wasn't) and how scary Aphrodite is (no, she's not!)
And so they set off for their purification ritual, with a random flashback to when Nyx filled in Zoey's Mark. And...the chapter ends. The heck?!? What was the point of that? Nothing happened! We already knew that Aphrodite was a jealous bitch! This is just...
Why do I even care?
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Onward to: Chapter 23
Back to: Chapter 21
Back to: Table of Contents