The Gang: Chapter 7 - Playtime
ZeldaQueen: WARNING! THIS CHAPTER CONTAINS TWO UNDERAGE CHILDREN ENGAGING IN SEXUAL ACTIVITIES, ALL OF WHICH IS DESCRIBED IN THE MOST LOVING AND DETAILED MANNER POSSIBLE!
Projection Room Voices: Warning, regular M.A.R.Y.S.U.E. sporking protocol overriden! Starting Media in 3...2...1...
Chapter 7: Playtime
Raxis: And we're back for the last chapter! THE LAST ONE!
ZeldaQueen: Huzzah! :D
Raxis: This one will largely be scripted because... well damn, it's horrible even by Neil's standards XD Let's rack it up!
Ben slid carefully out of the chair, covering his groin as best he could, as he crabbed his way to his discarded clothes.
ZeldaQueen: Yes, I'd say "crabbing" is a good description of how Benedict has been acting throughout this story
"Where are you going sweety?" asked Victoria.
"Um, to get dressed. I wanna get dressed now" said Ben, suddenly afraid they were going to make him stay naked.
ZeldaQueen: Didn't we go through this already? Like, nine million times?
"I thought you were going to be playing with Alison?" Victoria said.
Raxis: (Alison) "We're playing Smash Brothers ;D I call Pikachu!"
(Eggs) "You bastard! D:"
ZeldaQueen: If the past few chapters are anything to go off of, he'll be playing with Alison and himself
"Yeh, but I'll get dressed first" said Ben, a slight whine creeping into his voice.
ZeldaQueen: Good God, does this fucker do anything besides whine? And masturbate, yeah. Besides those things, does he do anything?
"Oh no, that's not fair, said Alison "If I'm letting you take my clothes off you've got to stay naked, otherwise how are we going to play?"
"Play?" said Ben, almost in panic as he picked up his boxers.
Raxis: Ok, so they start talking about how Eggs got an orgasm thanks to Alison-bitch, and Amy's a regular slut, yadda-yadda, classic Neil garbage.
"Enough I said!" said Victoria "Look, if you want to play with Alison, you'll have to stay naked. Otherwise, you can get dressed. It's up to you."
Raxis: What is it with them and playing Smash Brothers in the nude? Did they take that lesson from Evangeline A.K. McDowell? And we're snipping again because Neil spends a paragraph having Eggs go ZOMG NO MAH PANTS D: And everybody leaves except Alison, Amy's gonna sex up Paul or something fucked like that. And then they spend flipping forever arguing about whether or not Eggs is gonna lose his shorts again.
Ben stepped out of his pants, but wasn't quite able to let go of them.
Raxis: For they had been glued onto his hands!
"Anyway, we shouldn't be arguing, we should be friends" she said "If you want to play that is."
Raxis: Nah, Smash Bros tends to end friendships.
ZeldaQueen: You know, the thought crossed my mind that Neil uses this as his pick-up line for the girls in his neighborhood. And that squicked me so much that I had to lie down for a bit
Ben nodded, feeling his penis begin to swell again.
Raxis: Thank you for that, Neil >_>
ZeldaQueen: That thing's being going up and down so much that I'm surprised it's not connected to the flow of the tides or something
"Are you going to get undressed then?" he asked, his breathing becoming heavy, his heart starting to race.
"No" she said simply.
"But you said!" he started.
ZeldaQueen: If he was cut off, shouldn't there be a dash instead of an exclamation mark?
Raxis: These people have said a lot, Eggs.
Alison held up a hand to stop him in mid flow
ZeldaQueen: Good grief, we don't need Neil's watersports fetish creeping in here!
Raxis: She'd seen enough of Eggs so far to know a great big fit was on the way.
"You're supposed to undress me" she said.
"Oh" said Ben, dropping his gaze to the floor and reddening again.
ZeldaQueen: So he's fine with the idea of undressing other girls, to the point where that's the ENTIRE FUCKING REASON he signed on for this insanity, but he suddenly becomes all shy about undressing Alison? What?
"Where do you want me?" she asked brightly.
Raxis: In a blender would be lovely.
"Um" said Ben, his voice quivering.
"Ill lie here" she said helpfully,
ZeldaQueen: - forgetting a shit-ton of punctuation
dropping herself to the floor and lying prone; her hands at her sides. She smiled up at him invitingly.
Raxis: Oh yeah, sexy pose, that...
ZeldaQueen: SHE'S PRETEEN, DAMMIT! SHE'S NOT A VOGUE MODEL!
"Probably best if you kneel down here? she said patting the floor beside her.
ZeldaQueen: No, I think it's best to stay standing. That way, it's easier to kick her in the head! :D
Ben looked at the spot where Alison patted, then turned his gaze on her; his eyes raking quickly from her feet up to her face, taking in all the important landmarks on the way.
Raxis: The Colosseum of Rome is on her body???
ZeldaQueen: Yep. And he's going to be introducing it to his tall, stiff Eiffel Tower
"You really are funny" she said, giggling slightly.
Raxis: In a sort of, I want to kill you so bad, way.
"What? Funny? What do you mean?" asked Ben growing more self conscious by the second.
"Well, you go on about wanting to strip girls, and all you were saying before in the other room, and now, when you've got the chance, you're too chicken.
ZeldaQueen: Hey, I just said that!
Raxis: Eggs is just five kinds of messed up that way. And I'm gonna snip a long and pointless part where Bitchison talks about de-whimpifying Eggs. And we're gonna script the next parts, 'cause this shit is vile.
---
(Eggs): *undresses and sits next to Alison, covering his crotch.*
(Alison): "I wanna play with your willy! :D"
Raxis: I hate you.
ZeldaQueen: Like that's new
(Alison): *Plays with Neil's Egg's dick over the course of five or so paragraphs.*
ZeldaQueen: So nice to know where Neil's priorities were when writing this story, huh?
Raxis: Dammit!
Raxis: Sometimes the right solutions with Neil is fucking radiation waves.
(Alison): Strip me, dammit!
(Eggs): *Spends an extra long paragraph taking off Alison's shirt*
Raxis:
Hey look, it's actually Neil, getting what he deserves!
(Neil Eggs): *Takes off Alison's bra and oggles her 12 year old boobage.*
Raxis: DAMMIT!
(Alison): *Plays with the dick's dick some more* I sure do love your butt, Neil, Ben!
Raxis: Stop projecting, you slime.
ZeldaQueen: I doubt he will. It's the closest he's likely going to ever get to action
(Eggs and Alison): Let's talk about spanking!
Raxis: Let's talk about murder! Preferably all of yours!
(Alison): *Now naked* You'll have to make it worth my while to get me to lower my knees! Kiss me! :D
Raxis: And they spend a paragraph kissing. Then fondling Alison's breasts. Then Egg's dick. And we get a lovely line!
"He realised that he had now learned a very important secret. He had persuaded Alison, and felt sure that you could make a girl do whatever you wanted them to do; all you had to do was kiss them. This was their great weakness. "
ZeldaQueen: FUCK YOU WITH A TRIDENT, NEIL! FUCK YOU SO HARD THE PRONGS COME OUT YOUR NOSTRILS!!!
Raxis: Ok, you sick fucking bastard.
Raxis: You know FUCKING SHIT about women, and you NEVER WILL. You're a sick, tainted, perverted freak, you're a shame and a disgrace to honorable perverts like me everywhere, YOU'LL NEVER GET A GIRL. Your sick fetishes will make certain of that!
ZeldaQueen: Sick fetishes coupled with a lovely dose of pedophilia and misogyny, don't forget. I know the whole "your kink isn't my kink" business, but Neil is just SAD. He does absolutely nothing but write fantasies about underage girls who want nothing more than to service and please Their Men and pretends that it's some grand and experimental thing
Raxis: Right, and they molest some more. Shit. You think he'd get tired of this eventually. I'll need to go read SAO chapter 16.5 once I'm done with this to balance it out >_> Anyways, Eggs now sticks his finger into Alison's crotch. I'm betting Neil doesn't know what a woman's vag feels like. He probably never will.
(Alison): I'm gonna train you for Victoria! :D Boy's have a fatal weakness! ;D
"Alison reached out her hand, took hold of Ben's penis again and stroked it firmly. "This!" she said "A boy will do anything for a bit of attention here" "
Raxis: Fuck you lady, meet a good friend of mine and make friends
Raxis: As you can see, Skull Reaper's a bit lacking in that department, but he's great once you get to know him. Or so I've been told. And for the record, maybe Neil's that desperate, but most of us have more shame than that.
ZeldaQueen: Good God, but this is surreal. Somehow, Neil is managing to debase women and men in this thing. This is just...wow!
"Ben was breathing heavily again, overcome with powerful sensations, unable to think straight. Somehow he knew she was right, but at the same time girls had their weaknesses too, hadn't he made her open her legs by kissing her?"
Raxis: You "persuaded" her to do something she already wanted to do, you dumbass.
ZeldaQueen: Yeah, Benedict? Women aren't Pez dispensers. Like Raxis said, it's painfully obvious that Alison has been wanting to open her legs for everything with a dick since her first appearance. She just enjoys playing games with you, because she knows you're a gullible moron
(Alison): *Gives Eggs a crash course of Vagina 101, which Neil probably only know about thanks to Wikipedia.* Paul, Emily and Victoria have real sex together! :D
Raxis: Oh well that's fucking stupid. Either girl gets pregnant and your whole game is finished and exposed for the sick mockery it is.
ZeldaQueen: Ten bucks says that Neil would handwave that with something stupid, like that the little bastards somehow get perfect contraceptives or know an abortion clinic that miraculously services preteen girls. Of course, given that horrible pregnancy subplot in Hogwarts Too Exposed, it's possible he was planning for something like that in the future...
Raxis: BTW
Raxis: Different style this time. See that Neil? You will NEVER be in Kirito's position there. NEVER. So dwell on that. You're stuck wanking to your computer for all eternity.
(Eggs): *Licks Alison's clit*
Raxis:
ZeldaQueen: *screams wordlessly*
"Okay" said Ben, excited by the prospect of having Victoria lying naked before him.
Raxis: And they smooch again. It takes over a paragraph.
"Not anymore" said Alison "But you've got to stop this silly shyness. You need to get used to being naked, and," she took hold of his penis again "hard like this"
Raxis: First off, Neil, you're a sick bastard, as always. Secondly, that sounds like one of those 4 hours erections they warn you about on Viagra bottles.
ZeldaQueen: Actually, that doesn't sound like a bad idea. Benedict would likely be impotent for the rest of his life. At the very least, he'd have to go to the hospital and explain to his parents how he ended up in such a state
Raxis: Anyways, from there Allison goes on and on about how they all just have raging sex all the time and Eggs needs to get used to being naked and following instructions and I just more and more want to punt Neil from the 100th floor of Aincrad and watch him roll the whole way down.
ZeldaQueen: I'm still boggling at how Benedict doesn't realize that this is what he signed on for. Even if he somehow missed that they were a bunch of evil nymphomaniacs with the whole "abduct and strip innocent kids" bit, wouldn't them tricking him, tying him up, and ripping off his clothes tip him off?
Ben nodded, reluctantly.
Alison: *Plays with Egg's dick*
Raxis: .... DAMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIITTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT
ZeldaQueen: *desperately trying to avoid mental images* What were they playing? Checkers?
Raxis: *Catches breath* And then Alison gives Eggs basically a spongebath and you can picture that sick piece of fucking filth Neil getting of on it. Dammit, we're almost done, thank Morrighan! Scripting finished, with like 4-5 lines to go. See? The majority of the chapter's been scripted, it was PRETTY MUCH ALL RANDOM SEX with a pre-teen!
ZeldaQueen: Yeah, nearly ripped out my own eyes when I saw it unscripted. I'd threaten to vomit on Neil, but no doubt the sick fuck would enjoy it. Thus, I'll threaten shove knitting needles in all his delicate bits, if our paths ever cross
---
"We can do it again if you like," she said.
Raxis: Earth to dumbass, men can't just go again and again and again, we run dry eventually!
ZeldaQueen: Pretty damn sure women can't either. People only have so much stamina, y'know
"Okay," said Ben breathlessly.
"Or you can get dressed if you like," she said with a grin.
"No, let's do it again" he said enthusiastically.
Raxis: Fuck you, you sick filth, do you have sex on the brain 24/7? Oh wait, of course you do, you're FUCKING NEIL WITH A DIFFERENT NAME!
ZeldaQueen: By this point, Neil should have just revealed that they were all a bunch of sexbots. It wouldn't have been the most stupid twist he's ever done, and it would actually explain their perpetual horniness
"Good boy" said Alison, patting him on the head like he was a dog.
Raxis: HE IS A DOG, AND YOU'RE A BITCH, SO IT ALL WORKS OUT!
Suddenly the door opened and Amy rushed in. Ben leapt to cover himself up, mortified that Amy should see him like this again.
ZeldaQueen: Dude, she already gleefully pulled off your boxers. I don't think she's going to see anything she hasn't already been introduced to
"Get dressed!" she shouted with urgency "We've got intruders, two of them."
Raxis: OH LOVELY, SOME INNOCENTS TO MOLEST!
ZeldaQueen: And don't you just love how she's treating this like it's oh-so-urgent. Like what, if these people happen to get away, the police will come in and shoot them? (Which is not such a bad idea, really) And a rather sick part of me is wondering who Neil planned for that luckless pair to be. One would have certainly been a girl, but I can't decide if he would have gone with Benedict having a threesome rape or molesting her in front of her boyfriend or brother or whoever the other guy was.
...And because I just made myself even more sick, I'm going to pretend that the two intruders were actually members of the police force. Those little fuckers ran out and tried to kidnap them, only to be tazered and arrested for the abduction and sexual assault of countless kids! :D
Raxis: Fortunately, this piece of sick trash ends here, gone and done forever, thank all the stars in the sky!
Ok, so what did I think? DAMN THIS WAS VILE. This was just Hogwarts Exposed with Neil getting right to the shit he wanted! I honestly just don't have suitable words for my loathing for this sub-human.
ZeldaQueen: That about sums it up for me. Neil is a filthy bastard who ought to be in jail, and he has the gall to pretend that this is some cool experimental work that is dealing with issues. NO, IT IS NOT! There is a difference between writing something that deals with certain topics or themes in a sensitively-handled way, and gleefully throwing rape and subjegation and pedophilia other infuriating things, without any thought of how to handle them, because you think it's hot. I also have a nasty feeling that Neil only made the characters all kids to handwave accusations of pedophilia. Like, "Oh, it's not really pedophilia! There aren't any adults perving on children!" Neil, go to Hell!
Raxis: And with this all taken care of, this is my last parthian shot to this goddamn fic!
Raxis: DESTROY EVERYTHING, NANOHA! VAPORIZE IT ALL WITH YOUR AWESOME PINK LIGHT! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAAA!!! *Collapses*
ZeldaQueen: I, meanwhile, shall be destroying this entire fic off the face of the internet with the Entropy Spork, as gifted to me by bluesunnyday!
*RAISES SPORK HIGH AND PROUDLY OVER HEAD*
~~*DESTRUCTION*~~
ZeldaQueen: *breathing heavily* There, was that fun or what?
Well, now that this dreadful fic has been completely destroyed, let's all cheer ourselves up with some happier things. I choose The Muppets!
Raxis: And I choose this!
ZeldaQueen: D'aw!
And with that, we are DONE. Have a good day, ladies and gentlemen, and may your brains recover!
Raxis: See 'ya!
Back to: Chapter 6 - All Revealed
Return to: Table of Contents
Projection Room Voices: Warning, regular M.A.R.Y.S.U.E. sporking protocol overriden! Starting Media in 3...2...1...
Chapter 7: Playtime
Raxis: And we're back for the last chapter! THE LAST ONE!
ZeldaQueen: Huzzah! :D
Raxis: This one will largely be scripted because... well damn, it's horrible even by Neil's standards XD Let's rack it up!
Ben slid carefully out of the chair, covering his groin as best he could, as he crabbed his way to his discarded clothes.
ZeldaQueen: Yes, I'd say "crabbing" is a good description of how Benedict has been acting throughout this story
"Where are you going sweety?" asked Victoria.
"Um, to get dressed. I wanna get dressed now" said Ben, suddenly afraid they were going to make him stay naked.
ZeldaQueen: Didn't we go through this already? Like, nine million times?
"I thought you were going to be playing with Alison?" Victoria said.
Raxis: (Alison) "We're playing Smash Brothers ;D I call Pikachu!"
(Eggs) "You bastard! D:"
ZeldaQueen: If the past few chapters are anything to go off of, he'll be playing with Alison and himself
"Yeh, but I'll get dressed first" said Ben, a slight whine creeping into his voice.
ZeldaQueen: Good God, does this fucker do anything besides whine? And masturbate, yeah. Besides those things, does he do anything?
"Oh no, that's not fair, said Alison "If I'm letting you take my clothes off you've got to stay naked, otherwise how are we going to play?"
"Play?" said Ben, almost in panic as he picked up his boxers.
Raxis: Ok, so they start talking about how Eggs got an orgasm thanks to Alison-bitch, and Amy's a regular slut, yadda-yadda, classic Neil garbage.
"Enough I said!" said Victoria "Look, if you want to play with Alison, you'll have to stay naked. Otherwise, you can get dressed. It's up to you."
Raxis: What is it with them and playing Smash Brothers in the nude? Did they take that lesson from Evangeline A.K. McDowell? And we're snipping again because Neil spends a paragraph having Eggs go ZOMG NO MAH PANTS D: And everybody leaves except Alison, Amy's gonna sex up Paul or something fucked like that. And then they spend flipping forever arguing about whether or not Eggs is gonna lose his shorts again.
Ben stepped out of his pants, but wasn't quite able to let go of them.
Raxis: For they had been glued onto his hands!
"Anyway, we shouldn't be arguing, we should be friends" she said "If you want to play that is."
Raxis: Nah, Smash Bros tends to end friendships.
ZeldaQueen: You know, the thought crossed my mind that Neil uses this as his pick-up line for the girls in his neighborhood. And that squicked me so much that I had to lie down for a bit
Ben nodded, feeling his penis begin to swell again.
Raxis: Thank you for that, Neil >_>
ZeldaQueen: That thing's being going up and down so much that I'm surprised it's not connected to the flow of the tides or something
"Are you going to get undressed then?" he asked, his breathing becoming heavy, his heart starting to race.
"No" she said simply.
"But you said!" he started.
ZeldaQueen: If he was cut off, shouldn't there be a dash instead of an exclamation mark?
Raxis: These people have said a lot, Eggs.
Alison held up a hand to stop him in mid flow
ZeldaQueen: Good grief, we don't need Neil's watersports fetish creeping in here!
Raxis: She'd seen enough of Eggs so far to know a great big fit was on the way.
"You're supposed to undress me" she said.
"Oh" said Ben, dropping his gaze to the floor and reddening again.
ZeldaQueen: So he's fine with the idea of undressing other girls, to the point where that's the ENTIRE FUCKING REASON he signed on for this insanity, but he suddenly becomes all shy about undressing Alison? What?
"Where do you want me?" she asked brightly.
Raxis: In a blender would be lovely.
"Um" said Ben, his voice quivering.
"Ill lie here" she said helpfully,
ZeldaQueen: - forgetting a shit-ton of punctuation
dropping herself to the floor and lying prone; her hands at her sides. She smiled up at him invitingly.
Raxis: Oh yeah, sexy pose, that...
ZeldaQueen: SHE'S PRETEEN, DAMMIT! SHE'S NOT A VOGUE MODEL!
"Probably best if you kneel down here? she said patting the floor beside her.
ZeldaQueen: No, I think it's best to stay standing. That way, it's easier to kick her in the head! :D
Ben looked at the spot where Alison patted, then turned his gaze on her; his eyes raking quickly from her feet up to her face, taking in all the important landmarks on the way.
Raxis: The Colosseum of Rome is on her body???
ZeldaQueen: Yep. And he's going to be introducing it to his tall, stiff Eiffel Tower
"You really are funny" she said, giggling slightly.
Raxis: In a sort of, I want to kill you so bad, way.
"What? Funny? What do you mean?" asked Ben growing more self conscious by the second.
"Well, you go on about wanting to strip girls, and all you were saying before in the other room, and now, when you've got the chance, you're too chicken.
ZeldaQueen: Hey, I just said that!
Raxis: Eggs is just five kinds of messed up that way. And I'm gonna snip a long and pointless part where Bitchison talks about de-whimpifying Eggs. And we're gonna script the next parts, 'cause this shit is vile.
---
(Eggs): *undresses and sits next to Alison, covering his crotch.*
(Alison): "I wanna play with your willy! :D"
Raxis: I hate you.
ZeldaQueen: Like that's new
(Alison): *Plays with Neil's Egg's dick over the course of five or so paragraphs.*
ZeldaQueen: So nice to know where Neil's priorities were when writing this story, huh?
Raxis: Dammit!
Raxis: Sometimes the right solutions with Neil is fucking radiation waves.
(Alison): Strip me, dammit!
(Eggs): *Spends an extra long paragraph taking off Alison's shirt*
Raxis:
Hey look, it's actually Neil, getting what he deserves!
(Neil Eggs): *Takes off Alison's bra and oggles her 12 year old boobage.*
Raxis: DAMMIT!
(Alison): *Plays with the dick's dick some more* I sure do love your butt, Neil, Ben!
Raxis: Stop projecting, you slime.
ZeldaQueen: I doubt he will. It's the closest he's likely going to ever get to action
(Eggs and Alison): Let's talk about spanking!
Raxis: Let's talk about murder! Preferably all of yours!
(Alison): *Now naked* You'll have to make it worth my while to get me to lower my knees! Kiss me! :D
Raxis: And they spend a paragraph kissing. Then fondling Alison's breasts. Then Egg's dick. And we get a lovely line!
"He realised that he had now learned a very important secret. He had persuaded Alison, and felt sure that you could make a girl do whatever you wanted them to do; all you had to do was kiss them. This was their great weakness. "
ZeldaQueen: FUCK YOU WITH A TRIDENT, NEIL! FUCK YOU SO HARD THE PRONGS COME OUT YOUR NOSTRILS!!!
Raxis: Ok, you sick fucking bastard.
Raxis: You know FUCKING SHIT about women, and you NEVER WILL. You're a sick, tainted, perverted freak, you're a shame and a disgrace to honorable perverts like me everywhere, YOU'LL NEVER GET A GIRL. Your sick fetishes will make certain of that!
ZeldaQueen: Sick fetishes coupled with a lovely dose of pedophilia and misogyny, don't forget. I know the whole "your kink isn't my kink" business, but Neil is just SAD. He does absolutely nothing but write fantasies about underage girls who want nothing more than to service and please Their Men and pretends that it's some grand and experimental thing
Raxis: Right, and they molest some more. Shit. You think he'd get tired of this eventually. I'll need to go read SAO chapter 16.5 once I'm done with this to balance it out >_> Anyways, Eggs now sticks his finger into Alison's crotch. I'm betting Neil doesn't know what a woman's vag feels like. He probably never will.
(Alison): I'm gonna train you for Victoria! :D Boy's have a fatal weakness! ;D
"Alison reached out her hand, took hold of Ben's penis again and stroked it firmly. "This!" she said "A boy will do anything for a bit of attention here" "
Raxis: Fuck you lady, meet a good friend of mine and make friends
Raxis: As you can see, Skull Reaper's a bit lacking in that department, but he's great once you get to know him. Or so I've been told. And for the record, maybe Neil's that desperate, but most of us have more shame than that.
ZeldaQueen: Good God, but this is surreal. Somehow, Neil is managing to debase women and men in this thing. This is just...wow!
"Ben was breathing heavily again, overcome with powerful sensations, unable to think straight. Somehow he knew she was right, but at the same time girls had their weaknesses too, hadn't he made her open her legs by kissing her?"
Raxis: You "persuaded" her to do something she already wanted to do, you dumbass.
ZeldaQueen: Yeah, Benedict? Women aren't Pez dispensers. Like Raxis said, it's painfully obvious that Alison has been wanting to open her legs for everything with a dick since her first appearance. She just enjoys playing games with you, because she knows you're a gullible moron
(Alison): *Gives Eggs a crash course of Vagina 101, which Neil probably only know about thanks to Wikipedia.* Paul, Emily and Victoria have real sex together! :D
Raxis: Oh well that's fucking stupid. Either girl gets pregnant and your whole game is finished and exposed for the sick mockery it is.
ZeldaQueen: Ten bucks says that Neil would handwave that with something stupid, like that the little bastards somehow get perfect contraceptives or know an abortion clinic that miraculously services preteen girls. Of course, given that horrible pregnancy subplot in Hogwarts Too Exposed, it's possible he was planning for something like that in the future...
Raxis: BTW
Raxis: Different style this time. See that Neil? You will NEVER be in Kirito's position there. NEVER. So dwell on that. You're stuck wanking to your computer for all eternity.
(Eggs): *Licks Alison's clit*
Raxis:
ZeldaQueen: *screams wordlessly*
"Okay" said Ben, excited by the prospect of having Victoria lying naked before him.
Raxis: And they smooch again. It takes over a paragraph.
"Not anymore" said Alison "But you've got to stop this silly shyness. You need to get used to being naked, and," she took hold of his penis again "hard like this"
Raxis: First off, Neil, you're a sick bastard, as always. Secondly, that sounds like one of those 4 hours erections they warn you about on Viagra bottles.
ZeldaQueen: Actually, that doesn't sound like a bad idea. Benedict would likely be impotent for the rest of his life. At the very least, he'd have to go to the hospital and explain to his parents how he ended up in such a state
Raxis: Anyways, from there Allison goes on and on about how they all just have raging sex all the time and Eggs needs to get used to being naked and following instructions and I just more and more want to punt Neil from the 100th floor of Aincrad and watch him roll the whole way down.
ZeldaQueen: I'm still boggling at how Benedict doesn't realize that this is what he signed on for. Even if he somehow missed that they were a bunch of evil nymphomaniacs with the whole "abduct and strip innocent kids" bit, wouldn't them tricking him, tying him up, and ripping off his clothes tip him off?
Ben nodded, reluctantly.
Alison: *Plays with Egg's dick*
Raxis: .... DAMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIITTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT
ZeldaQueen: *desperately trying to avoid mental images* What were they playing? Checkers?
Raxis: *Catches breath* And then Alison gives Eggs basically a spongebath and you can picture that sick piece of fucking filth Neil getting of on it. Dammit, we're almost done, thank Morrighan! Scripting finished, with like 4-5 lines to go. See? The majority of the chapter's been scripted, it was PRETTY MUCH ALL RANDOM SEX with a pre-teen!
ZeldaQueen: Yeah, nearly ripped out my own eyes when I saw it unscripted. I'd threaten to vomit on Neil, but no doubt the sick fuck would enjoy it. Thus, I'll threaten shove knitting needles in all his delicate bits, if our paths ever cross
---
"We can do it again if you like," she said.
Raxis: Earth to dumbass, men can't just go again and again and again, we run dry eventually!
ZeldaQueen: Pretty damn sure women can't either. People only have so much stamina, y'know
"Okay," said Ben breathlessly.
"Or you can get dressed if you like," she said with a grin.
"No, let's do it again" he said enthusiastically.
Raxis: Fuck you, you sick filth, do you have sex on the brain 24/7? Oh wait, of course you do, you're FUCKING NEIL WITH A DIFFERENT NAME!
ZeldaQueen: By this point, Neil should have just revealed that they were all a bunch of sexbots. It wouldn't have been the most stupid twist he's ever done, and it would actually explain their perpetual horniness
"Good boy" said Alison, patting him on the head like he was a dog.
Raxis: HE IS A DOG, AND YOU'RE A BITCH, SO IT ALL WORKS OUT!
Suddenly the door opened and Amy rushed in. Ben leapt to cover himself up, mortified that Amy should see him like this again.
ZeldaQueen: Dude, she already gleefully pulled off your boxers. I don't think she's going to see anything she hasn't already been introduced to
"Get dressed!" she shouted with urgency "We've got intruders, two of them."
Raxis: OH LOVELY, SOME INNOCENTS TO MOLEST!
ZeldaQueen: And don't you just love how she's treating this like it's oh-so-urgent. Like what, if these people happen to get away, the police will come in and shoot them? (Which is not such a bad idea, really) And a rather sick part of me is wondering who Neil planned for that luckless pair to be. One would have certainly been a girl, but I can't decide if he would have gone with Benedict having a threesome rape or molesting her in front of her boyfriend or brother or whoever the other guy was.
...And because I just made myself even more sick, I'm going to pretend that the two intruders were actually members of the police force. Those little fuckers ran out and tried to kidnap them, only to be tazered and arrested for the abduction and sexual assault of countless kids! :D
Raxis: Fortunately, this piece of sick trash ends here, gone and done forever, thank all the stars in the sky!
Ok, so what did I think? DAMN THIS WAS VILE. This was just Hogwarts Exposed with Neil getting right to the shit he wanted! I honestly just don't have suitable words for my loathing for this sub-human.
ZeldaQueen: That about sums it up for me. Neil is a filthy bastard who ought to be in jail, and he has the gall to pretend that this is some cool experimental work that is dealing with issues. NO, IT IS NOT! There is a difference between writing something that deals with certain topics or themes in a sensitively-handled way, and gleefully throwing rape and subjegation and pedophilia other infuriating things, without any thought of how to handle them, because you think it's hot. I also have a nasty feeling that Neil only made the characters all kids to handwave accusations of pedophilia. Like, "Oh, it's not really pedophilia! There aren't any adults perving on children!" Neil, go to Hell!
Raxis: And with this all taken care of, this is my last parthian shot to this goddamn fic!
Click to viewRaxis: DESTROY EVERYTHING, NANOHA! VAPORIZE IT ALL WITH YOUR AWESOME PINK LIGHT! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAAA!!! *Collapses*
ZeldaQueen: I, meanwhile, shall be destroying this entire fic off the face of the internet with the Entropy Spork, as gifted to me by bluesunnyday!
*RAISES SPORK HIGH AND PROUDLY OVER HEAD*
~~*DESTRUCTION*~~
ZeldaQueen: *breathing heavily* There, was that fun or what?
Well, now that this dreadful fic has been completely destroyed, let's all cheer ourselves up with some happier things. I choose The Muppets!
Raxis: And I choose this!
ZeldaQueen: D'aw!
And with that, we are DONE. Have a good day, ladies and gentlemen, and may your brains recover!
Raxis: See 'ya!
Back to: Chapter 6 - All Revealed
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