FML: Going Space-Crazy
Title: FML: Going Space-Crazy
Sequel to: FML (fuck my life), FML: the Admirals' take, FML: Protocol for an orgy and FML: Looking in from the outside
Fandom & Pairing: Star Trek AOS, Pike/Boyce, Kirk/McCoy and foursome mix
Rating: NC-17
Warnings: none
Word Count: Around 1700
Summary: It's meant to be an orgy. How come Leonard's left hanging?
“Okay, so explain this to me. We start out with Jim tied down to a chair and me being worked over by not one but two handsome men. Half an hour later Jim’s curled up having a post-coital nap and I’m left hanging. How the hell did that happen?”
He and Phil look over to where Jim is curled up against Chris, making a soft snuffling snort as he sleeps with his face mashed against the older man’s chest. Chris had been stroking Jim’s hair but now he too seems to have slipped into sleep. This is feeling like another of Leonard’s many ‘fuck my life’ moments.
“That’s command types for you,” says Phil. “Wham, bam and then snoring their heads off before they even get to ‘thank you ma’am’. Welcome to the next five years of your life, McCoy.”
Leonard groans dramatically. Phil laughs and rolls over next to him, running a hand across his stomach, fingers combing through the treasure trail.
“About that--“ Leonard hesitates. “Admiral Komack cornered me this morning and gave me a long lecture about how I’m the responsible adult on board and they’re holding me accountable for keeping Jim and his team of teen geniuses under control.”
Phil looks up from his exploration of Leonard’s stomach. “That’s kind of true. Some of the brass were only prepared to accept Jim as captain with the guarantee of you as CMO.”
Leonard stares at him in horror. “Me? Did any of them actually look at my file? At all those demerits for insubordination? Half of them issued by you, I might point out.”
“Well, you were as insolent as you were irritating half the time,” retorts Phil, pinching him hard on a nipple and then running a soothing tongue over the sting. “But to answer your question: no, because I slapped super-ultra-classified all over your file. For security reasons! Need to know basis and all that bullshit. Instead, I told them all about your stellar medical career, your great achievements at an early age, your steady character and responsible attitude.”
“So you lied, in other words.”
Phil nips at the soft skin at the base of his neck. “Not at all, I just told a carefully selected portion of truth. But we are looking to you to keep Jim in line. And that reminds me, I need to tell you about the secret code.”
Leonard frowns at him. Phil pulls away so he can look Leonard in the eye, although their legs remain intertwined.
“It’s the very last briefing a CMO receives before departure, from the Surgeon-General himself. It’s the code the CMO calls in when his captain’s gone bat-shit insane.”
“But you just stand him or her down. Medical Protocols Regulation 121, Section A,” says Leonard.
“Sure. If you can. But really good captains suck their crews into their delusions. You may find you can’t stand him down. You’re the one who gets called crazy, the one they want to lock up in a padded cabin. That’s when you send out the secret code.”
“Bullshit! That doesn’t happen.” Leonard hesitates. He’s seen quite a few things in the last few weeks that he would have said could never happen, with doppelganger Vulcans from alternate universes being the fucking cherry on top. “Does it happen?”
Phil regards him in all seriousness, his grave demeanor an odd contrast to his nakedness. “Oh yes it does. One minute your captain is no odder than the average commander. The next he’s decided the home planets of the Federation have been destroyed by a cybernetic race and your ship is the last survivor of the human race. He cuts off all communications so the crew can’t check. As CMO, you’ve got to get the code out before he shuts down the comms. Remember that!
“Then he’s having visions of writhing snakes which turn out to indicate an ancient prophecy about the exodus of humankind, foretelling that a dying leader - because of course he’s dying dramatically by this point - a dying leader will guide the remnants of humanity to the promised planet of the original Eden. And the ship sails off into the black and is never seen again.”
“You’re making this up,” accuses Leonard. “We never covered this kind of stuff as cadets.”
“Of course not,” replies Phil. “We’re not going to scare off the young and the idealistic by actually telling them how dreadful the black can be. You’ve no idea how much stuff we don’t tell you!”
“You’re not exactly helping with my aviophobia here,” interrupts Leonard.
Phil grins evilly. “Trust me. A ship in deep space - classic breeding ground for a cult. A charismatic, authoritarian leader in charge of a small group of people trapped in stressful dangerous circumstances, trained to obey orders, isolated from outside influence - recipe for disaster. Madmen can be very persuasive.”
Phil gestures across to where Jim lies curled up against Chris.
“And it’s the young cocky ones, the beautiful glib self-confident ones, that you need be most worried about. Any time Jim starts telling you there’s a computer chip in his head that manifests to him as a beautiful blonde woman and they’re going to have a hybrid baby that will be the first of God's new generation of children - send your secret code back to me as the highest priority!”
Phil grabs Leonard by the shoulders, holding him in place as he looks deep into his eyes. “Remember, McCoy, you are the last bastion between sanity and ship-wide deep-space madness.”
A deep voice breaks in. “Phil, stop teasing the children. Leonard, you do realize that he’s having you on?” says Chris.
“I am not,” says Phil. “There is actually a code for calling in your captain as insane. But most captains don’t normally go as far as declaring themselves to be the Hand of God.” He smiles at Chris who has untangled himself from the still sleeping Jim and crawled over to join them. “Now Chris here would’ve made a wonderful cult leader when he was young. You think Jim is pretty? Chris was sin incarnate, complete with the halo of golden hair. The prettiest baby captain ever. And he knew it, the bastard.” He ruffles a hand through Chris’s hair.
“I could still do it,” retorts Chris. “Might be more fun that being the Admiral that no one listens to because I’m too young. Fuck! It’s years since I’ve been considered the new kid. I’ll tell them Nero passed on the secret of existence from his universe. I’m the only survivor from the ship. No one can deny it. People are so confused right now they’d believe anything. I think I’d look great in a swami’s robe with acolytes prostrated at my feet.”
“Chris, don’t fucking joke about Nero. I hate it!” There’s an edge to Phil’s voice that threatens to puncture the light-hearted atmosphere.
“Why shouldn’t I?” challenges Chris. He shifts awkwardly on the quilts, as ever working around the reduced mobility on his left side, where the slug had made its temporary home. “It’s not as if I’m ever going to be able to forget it.”
Leonard scrabbles for something to say to divert them. The last thing he wants is to be caught in the middle of some icy-edged not-a-fight between these two formidable men. Fortunately Jim comes to rescue, stretching luxuriously as he wakes from his nap. “Damn, I’m starving. Great sex always gives me the munchies. I feel like a sandwich. A Muffuletta would be perfect, loaded with cold cuts and cheese.”
“No fucking way,” protests Leonard. “Jim, you’re not going off to eat while I’m left hanging. I’m at an orgy and I’ve reduced to taking myself in hand? Just how incompetent are the rest of you?”
Phil is still glaring at Chris. “A sandwich. Now there’s a good idea. Admiral Grouchy here can damn well roll over and make himself useful, since he’s come already. Prep yourself.” He throws the tube of lube at the other man. Chris seems to have decided that retreat is the better part of valor and silently does as he’s told. The sight of the strong fingers that had so recently been slamming down on Leonard’s ass now sliding slickly into Chris’s own, is enough to bring the doctor back to full hardness.
“Leonard, you’re going to climb aboard there and then I’m going to fuck both of you.” Chris seems about to say something but Phil ignores him. “I’m the ranking officer here and the rest of you can do as you’re damned well told!”
“Sir, yes sir!” Jim salutes smartly, the effect rather undermined by his other hand which is lazily working his cock back to life.
Leonard is slightly concerned about being trapped between these men and their issues, but the sight of Chris rolling onto his stomach, legs spread, presenting his ass, completely derails his thought process. He mounts the other man, luxuriating in the feel of the tight velvet passage squeezing around his long-neglected cock. At long last he’s going to get some!
Phil holds him steady with one hand and then shoves straight in without further prep. Leonard is loose enough to take it but his tender ass burns around the sudden intrusion, his cheeks still smarting from the spanking. He bites down on Chris’s shoulder to keep himself from crying out. He has his hands on the bed on either side of Chris’s shoulders. Chris moves his hands to twist their fingers together. Leonard drops a kiss of apology over the bite mark. Chris squeezes his hands gently.
Phil is clearly in charge, slamming into Leonard and in the process driving him deeper into Chris’s tight channel. Phil’s chest hair tickles his back while Chris’s silky skin warms his stomach. He licks messily at the sweat on the back of Chris’s neck. Jim lies to one side, legs sprawled open, working his own cock while offering obnoxious commentary.
It’s not the life Leonard expected when he enlisted in Starfleet. It certainly hadn’t been in the recruiting brochure. But right now he can’t exactly bring himself to object.
----------
Continued here... FML: Time to let go
Sequel to: FML (fuck my life), FML: the Admirals' take, FML: Protocol for an orgy and FML: Looking in from the outside
Fandom & Pairing: Star Trek AOS, Pike/Boyce, Kirk/McCoy and foursome mix
Rating: NC-17
Warnings: none
Word Count: Around 1700
Summary: It's meant to be an orgy. How come Leonard's left hanging?
“Okay, so explain this to me. We start out with Jim tied down to a chair and me being worked over by not one but two handsome men. Half an hour later Jim’s curled up having a post-coital nap and I’m left hanging. How the hell did that happen?”
He and Phil look over to where Jim is curled up against Chris, making a soft snuffling snort as he sleeps with his face mashed against the older man’s chest. Chris had been stroking Jim’s hair but now he too seems to have slipped into sleep. This is feeling like another of Leonard’s many ‘fuck my life’ moments.
“That’s command types for you,” says Phil. “Wham, bam and then snoring their heads off before they even get to ‘thank you ma’am’. Welcome to the next five years of your life, McCoy.”
Leonard groans dramatically. Phil laughs and rolls over next to him, running a hand across his stomach, fingers combing through the treasure trail.
“About that--“ Leonard hesitates. “Admiral Komack cornered me this morning and gave me a long lecture about how I’m the responsible adult on board and they’re holding me accountable for keeping Jim and his team of teen geniuses under control.”
Phil looks up from his exploration of Leonard’s stomach. “That’s kind of true. Some of the brass were only prepared to accept Jim as captain with the guarantee of you as CMO.”
Leonard stares at him in horror. “Me? Did any of them actually look at my file? At all those demerits for insubordination? Half of them issued by you, I might point out.”
“Well, you were as insolent as you were irritating half the time,” retorts Phil, pinching him hard on a nipple and then running a soothing tongue over the sting. “But to answer your question: no, because I slapped super-ultra-classified all over your file. For security reasons! Need to know basis and all that bullshit. Instead, I told them all about your stellar medical career, your great achievements at an early age, your steady character and responsible attitude.”
“So you lied, in other words.”
Phil nips at the soft skin at the base of his neck. “Not at all, I just told a carefully selected portion of truth. But we are looking to you to keep Jim in line. And that reminds me, I need to tell you about the secret code.”
Leonard frowns at him. Phil pulls away so he can look Leonard in the eye, although their legs remain intertwined.
“It’s the very last briefing a CMO receives before departure, from the Surgeon-General himself. It’s the code the CMO calls in when his captain’s gone bat-shit insane.”
“But you just stand him or her down. Medical Protocols Regulation 121, Section A,” says Leonard.
“Sure. If you can. But really good captains suck their crews into their delusions. You may find you can’t stand him down. You’re the one who gets called crazy, the one they want to lock up in a padded cabin. That’s when you send out the secret code.”
“Bullshit! That doesn’t happen.” Leonard hesitates. He’s seen quite a few things in the last few weeks that he would have said could never happen, with doppelganger Vulcans from alternate universes being the fucking cherry on top. “Does it happen?”
Phil regards him in all seriousness, his grave demeanor an odd contrast to his nakedness. “Oh yes it does. One minute your captain is no odder than the average commander. The next he’s decided the home planets of the Federation have been destroyed by a cybernetic race and your ship is the last survivor of the human race. He cuts off all communications so the crew can’t check. As CMO, you’ve got to get the code out before he shuts down the comms. Remember that!
“Then he’s having visions of writhing snakes which turn out to indicate an ancient prophecy about the exodus of humankind, foretelling that a dying leader - because of course he’s dying dramatically by this point - a dying leader will guide the remnants of humanity to the promised planet of the original Eden. And the ship sails off into the black and is never seen again.”
“You’re making this up,” accuses Leonard. “We never covered this kind of stuff as cadets.”
“Of course not,” replies Phil. “We’re not going to scare off the young and the idealistic by actually telling them how dreadful the black can be. You’ve no idea how much stuff we don’t tell you!”
“You’re not exactly helping with my aviophobia here,” interrupts Leonard.
Phil grins evilly. “Trust me. A ship in deep space - classic breeding ground for a cult. A charismatic, authoritarian leader in charge of a small group of people trapped in stressful dangerous circumstances, trained to obey orders, isolated from outside influence - recipe for disaster. Madmen can be very persuasive.”
Phil gestures across to where Jim lies curled up against Chris.
“And it’s the young cocky ones, the beautiful glib self-confident ones, that you need be most worried about. Any time Jim starts telling you there’s a computer chip in his head that manifests to him as a beautiful blonde woman and they’re going to have a hybrid baby that will be the first of God's new generation of children - send your secret code back to me as the highest priority!”
Phil grabs Leonard by the shoulders, holding him in place as he looks deep into his eyes. “Remember, McCoy, you are the last bastion between sanity and ship-wide deep-space madness.”
A deep voice breaks in. “Phil, stop teasing the children. Leonard, you do realize that he’s having you on?” says Chris.
“I am not,” says Phil. “There is actually a code for calling in your captain as insane. But most captains don’t normally go as far as declaring themselves to be the Hand of God.” He smiles at Chris who has untangled himself from the still sleeping Jim and crawled over to join them. “Now Chris here would’ve made a wonderful cult leader when he was young. You think Jim is pretty? Chris was sin incarnate, complete with the halo of golden hair. The prettiest baby captain ever. And he knew it, the bastard.” He ruffles a hand through Chris’s hair.
“I could still do it,” retorts Chris. “Might be more fun that being the Admiral that no one listens to because I’m too young. Fuck! It’s years since I’ve been considered the new kid. I’ll tell them Nero passed on the secret of existence from his universe. I’m the only survivor from the ship. No one can deny it. People are so confused right now they’d believe anything. I think I’d look great in a swami’s robe with acolytes prostrated at my feet.”
“Chris, don’t fucking joke about Nero. I hate it!” There’s an edge to Phil’s voice that threatens to puncture the light-hearted atmosphere.
“Why shouldn’t I?” challenges Chris. He shifts awkwardly on the quilts, as ever working around the reduced mobility on his left side, where the slug had made its temporary home. “It’s not as if I’m ever going to be able to forget it.”
Leonard scrabbles for something to say to divert them. The last thing he wants is to be caught in the middle of some icy-edged not-a-fight between these two formidable men. Fortunately Jim comes to rescue, stretching luxuriously as he wakes from his nap. “Damn, I’m starving. Great sex always gives me the munchies. I feel like a sandwich. A Muffuletta would be perfect, loaded with cold cuts and cheese.”
“No fucking way,” protests Leonard. “Jim, you’re not going off to eat while I’m left hanging. I’m at an orgy and I’ve reduced to taking myself in hand? Just how incompetent are the rest of you?”
Phil is still glaring at Chris. “A sandwich. Now there’s a good idea. Admiral Grouchy here can damn well roll over and make himself useful, since he’s come already. Prep yourself.” He throws the tube of lube at the other man. Chris seems to have decided that retreat is the better part of valor and silently does as he’s told. The sight of the strong fingers that had so recently been slamming down on Leonard’s ass now sliding slickly into Chris’s own, is enough to bring the doctor back to full hardness.
“Leonard, you’re going to climb aboard there and then I’m going to fuck both of you.” Chris seems about to say something but Phil ignores him. “I’m the ranking officer here and the rest of you can do as you’re damned well told!”
“Sir, yes sir!” Jim salutes smartly, the effect rather undermined by his other hand which is lazily working his cock back to life.
Leonard is slightly concerned about being trapped between these men and their issues, but the sight of Chris rolling onto his stomach, legs spread, presenting his ass, completely derails his thought process. He mounts the other man, luxuriating in the feel of the tight velvet passage squeezing around his long-neglected cock. At long last he’s going to get some!
Phil holds him steady with one hand and then shoves straight in without further prep. Leonard is loose enough to take it but his tender ass burns around the sudden intrusion, his cheeks still smarting from the spanking. He bites down on Chris’s shoulder to keep himself from crying out. He has his hands on the bed on either side of Chris’s shoulders. Chris moves his hands to twist their fingers together. Leonard drops a kiss of apology over the bite mark. Chris squeezes his hands gently.
Phil is clearly in charge, slamming into Leonard and in the process driving him deeper into Chris’s tight channel. Phil’s chest hair tickles his back while Chris’s silky skin warms his stomach. He licks messily at the sweat on the back of Chris’s neck. Jim lies to one side, legs sprawled open, working his own cock while offering obnoxious commentary.
It’s not the life Leonard expected when he enlisted in Starfleet. It certainly hadn’t been in the recruiting brochure. But right now he can’t exactly bring himself to object.
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Continued here... FML: Time to let go