~THE PATH YOU WALK ON HAS NO END!!!
THANK YOU FOR SUPPORTING OUR PREVIOUS PRODUCTIONS, METAL GEAR AND METAL GEAR 2: SOLID SNAKE! YOUR GENEROUS DONATIONS HAVE ALLOWED US TO PUT ON OUR BIGGEST SHOW TO DATE - METAL GEAR SOLID! WE HOPE YOU WILL CONTINUE TO BLESS US WITH YOUR CONTINUED PATRONAGE!
SOME OF THESE SPRITES WERE POSSIBLE THANKS TO GENEROUS DONATIONS FROM VIEWERS LIKE YOU! PLEASE COME OUT AND TAKE A BOW!
PLEASE THANK SPIRITSOLDIER AND FIREFLY99 RESPECTIVELY FOR HELPING OUT OUR TROUPE!
WE SINCERELY HOPE YOU ENJOY OUR PRODUCTION!
I AM SOLID SNAKE, AND I HAVE HAD ENOUGH OF METAL GEAR STUPID HOUSE FOR CRAZY FREAKS. I AM GOING TO ALASKA WHERE I AM GOING TO RACE DOGS AND DRINK. A LOT. AND DO NOTHING ELSE.
CAMPBELL: SUP SNAKE
WHAT
CHLOROFORM
WHATSHAGHSAGBGBBBLLLBLB
NOW THAT WE'VE GOT THAT OUT OF THE WAY WE NEED YOU TO GO THIS PLACE CALLED SHADOW MOSES.
NO
THERE'S THIS GROUP OF TERRORISTS THAT HAVE A NUKE AND THEY'RE GOING TO BLOW US ALL UP SNAKE
WTF IS THERE NO ONE ELSE WHO WILL DO THIS
WELL THERE'S NO ONE ELSE WHO WILL *PUT UP* WITH THIS, NO
SO YEAH THEY HAVE A NUKE
NAOMI: DON'T MIND ME JUST GIVING YOU A SHOT HUM TE TUM THERE'S NOTHING SUSPICIOUS ABOUT THIS SHOT PLEASE GO ABOUT YOUR BUSINESS
AND SOME IMPORTANT DUDES. YOU NEED TO RESCUE THEM. AND STOP THE NUKE.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHAT I HAD TO DO LAST TIME
WELL THAT'S WHY YOU'RE SO GOOD AT IT
BUT I AM BITTER AND JADED NOW
MY DAUGHTERNIECE IS THERE
OH WELL THAT'S DIFFERENT THEN
SO IT'S A GROUP OF PSYCHOS AS USUAL EXCEPT ONE OF THEM LOOKS JUST LIKE YOU
HUH
AND HE'S CALLED LIQUID SNAKE
HUH
IT'S ALMOST LIKE HE'S YOUR TWIN
I HAVE NO FAMILY!!!!
WELL ANYWAY GET IN THERE, AND FIND YOUR OWN WEAPONS CAUSE WE'RE REAL BUSY.
HERE I AM
LIQUID SNAKE: I WILL PUT MY SHIRT BACK ON WHEN I AM READY TO PUT MY SHIRT BACK ON.
*HIND D!!!*
CAMPBELL: TIME TO INTRODUCE YOU TO YOUR SUPPORT TEAM
SNAKE: YOU COULDN'T HAVE DONE THIS AN HOUR AGO
MEI LING: I SAVE YOUR GAME! AND TELL YOU PROVERBS, MOST OF WHICH BOIL DOWN TO "YOU DON'T REALLY NEED THAT AMMO PACK NO STOP IT GOD YOU SET OFF THE ALERT WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU". TEE HEE HEE~
NASTASHA: NUKES ARE BAD!!!11!
NAOMI: I'M HERE TO INEPTLY COVER MY HATRED FOR YOU WITH AWKWARD FLIRTING
I CAN LIVE WITH THAT
NUKES!!!
IN A VENT
MASTER MILLER: HEY SNAKE REMEMBER ME
YOU WERE USELESS
AND NOW I'M USELESS IN ALASKA!!!
THERE'S NOTHING I WANT MORE IN A DANGEROUS SITUATION THAN SOMEONE WHO GIVES ME USELESS INFORMATION, WELCOME ABOARD
HEY DARPA CHIEF SUP
DARPA CHIEF DONALD ANDERSON: SUP
CAN THEY REALLY LAUNCH A NUKE
CAUSE IT'D BE NICE IF THEY COULDN'T AND I COULD GO HOME
JUST SAYIN
YEAH THEY CAN SORRY
:(
THEY'RE ACTUALLY GOING TO LAUNCH IT FROM A METAL GEAR, COME TO THINK OF IT
>:(
SO DARPA AND ARMSTECH JOINED TOGETHER TO MAKE A METAL GEAR, AND THEN TERRORISTS GOT IT. I DON'T KNOW WHY THIS KEEPS HAPPENING WITH THESE THINGS.
>:(
BUT THEY CAN'T FIRE IT WITHOUT TWO CODES. COINCIDENTALLY, THE TWO PEOPLE HELD HOSTAGE KNOW THOSE CODES. AND I TALKED.
>(
BUT IF YOU GET THREE CARD KEYS YOU CAN STOP IT. SO YOU SHOULD PROBABLY DO THAT. BAKER PROBABLY HAS THEM.
K
I HEARD THEY CEMENTED BAKER IN A ROOM IN THE BASEMENT
...PLEASE TELL ME YOU'RE JOKING
YOU DIDN'T HEAR ANY OTHER WAY TO DISMANTLE THE WARHEAD RIGHT? RIGHT? RIGHT?!?! THIS IS IMPORTANT
WHAT NO
HHHHHHHHHHHHHRRRNNNNGNH
MY GOD HE'S DEAD
CAMPBELL HE TOTALLY JUST DIED RIGHT HERE WTF
WTF
WTF
YES, WTF
WAIT DO YOU KNOW SOMETHING ABOUT THIS
NO.
IT LOOKED LIKE A HEART ATTACK. THAT'S TOTALLY BIZARRE AND UNHEARD OF, I HAVE NO IDEA HOW HE HAD ONE. I GOTTA GO.
SUSPICIOUS SOLDIER: HEY GET OUTTA THERE
YOU KILLED THE CHIEF WTF
DID NOT
DON'T MOVE
LOL N00B
NO U
LOL N00B
NO U!!!!!!
U SUK
SHUT UP!!!!
SUP
N00B SOLDIER: EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE WELL BYE
WHAT HEY WAIT
YOU HAVE A REALLY NICE BUTT
REALLY
DIE
NOPE
UP I GO
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
WHAT
WHAT
WHAT WAS THAT WHAT
CAMPBELL HELP
THAT WAS PROBABLY PSYCHO MANTIS. HE'S GOT ALL KINDS OF CRAZY POWERS.
OH BIG SURPRISE.
HEY SNAKE KNOCK KNOCK
WHAT
NUKES!!!!
:|
WHY ARE PEOPLE CONSTANTLY CEMENTING EACH OTHER IN ROOMS
THIS IS NOT NORMAL
ARMSTECH PRESIDENT KENNETH BAKER: HRRRRGH
OKAY
HI
HI?
YOU TOUCH HIM AND EVERYTHING WILL BLOW UP. THIS IS A BRILLIANT PLAN THAT CANNOT FAIL OR BACKFIRE.
...YEAH
I'M REVOLVER
*SPIN*
*SPIN*
*SPIN*
OCELOT
YES I CAN SEE THAT.
THIS HERE'S MY GUN.
YES.
TIME TO DIE
I'M GETTING OFF ON LOADING MY GUN BY THE WAY
AND YET THIS IS NOT THE WEIRDEST BATTLE I'VE FOUGHT IN MY CAREER, SADLY ENOUGH
UUUUUUUUUUNF
OW STOP SHOOTING ME GOD
CYBORG NINJA: SUP GUYS
MY HAND WTF
SNAKE SNAKE SNAKE SNAKE SNAKE SNAKE
WHAT
SJAIHAHGAGFAHSDHAGAFGAFGAGFAGFGAGGSGAAASSFGFGFFFFFFFFFFF *SPASMS, LEAVES*
THANKS FOR CUTTING THE WIRES BTW CRAZY PERSON
BLARG
I TALKED SO THEY HAVE MY CODE TOO
>(
OCELOT'S A SICKO. I HOPE YOU DON'T GET STRIPPED NAKED AND TORTURED BY HIM.
THE DARPA CHIEF IS DEAD. JUST FYI.
NOOOOOOOOOOOO ;_;
OW STOP HITTING ME
I GAVE THE CARDS TO A WOMAN
WHEN DID YOU FIND THE TIME TO DO THAT
YOU SHOULD TALK TO HER ON THE CODEC. LOOK ON THE BACK OF THE CD CASE.
THE WHAT
YOU SHOULD ALSO FIND SOME DORK NAMED HAL EMMERICH. HE MADE METAL GEAR, SO IN THE TOTALLY UNLIKELY EVENT THAT SOMETHING UNEXPECTED HAPPENS, HE MIGHT BE ABLE TO HELP YOU.
RESCUING A SCIENTIST, THAT'S NEW AND FRESH. HOPEFULLY THIS ONE WON'T JUMP ROOMS LIKE A GIANT FLEA.
DID YOU KNOW THAT NUKES ARE BAD
YOU DON'T SAY
NUKES ARE BAD. BAD.
YES.
BAD. NUCLEAR WAR IS BAD. AND SO ARE NUKES.
YES.
HERE HAVE A DISK WITH ALL OF METAL GEAR'S INFO ON IT
K
WHAT WAS WITH THAT NINJA BTW
YOU SHOULD ASK NAOMI HUNTERRRRRRRRRRRNNGGHHHHHH
IT HAPPENED AGAIN.
HMM.
WAS THAT ANOTHER HEART ATTACK
WELL HERE'S A LIST OF THINGS THAT CAUSE HEART ATTACKS SO I CAN AVOID ANSWERING YOUR QUESTION
I WANT YOU TO WORK WITH MERYL SNAKE
WHAT
DO IT NOW
FINE WHATEVER
NAOMI WHAT WAS THAT CRAZY NINJA'S DEAL
I HAVE NO IDEA BYE
CD CASE WHAT CD CASE
THERE'S NO CD CASE HERE
PLAYER: WAIT THEY MEAN THE ACTUAL CD CASE THE GAME CAME IN WTF KIND OF COPY PROTECTION IS THIS
SUP MERYL
OMGGGGGGGGGGGGG SNAKE
|<
YOU'RE AWESOME
YOU'RE HOT
TEE HEE
BUT YOU PROBABLY WOULDN'T LIKE ME IF YOU MET ME
...WAIT WHAT
YOU LOOK JUST LIKE LIQUID
I HAVE NO FAMILY!!!!
DID YOU KNOW THIS BASE IS ACTUALLY A SECRET MILITARY BASE FOR DEVELOPING METAL GEAR AND NOT A NUCLEAR STORAGE FACILITY
OR DID I JUST BLOW YOUR MIND
CAMPBELL >:(
AND THEY CALLED IN FOXHOUND TO WATCH BECAUSE FOUR UNHINGED PSYCHOPATHS ARE JUST THE KIND OF PEOPLE YOU WANT INVOLVED IN THIS SORT OF THING
YOU SAY THAT LIKE THERE ARE A LOT OF PEOPLE WHO AREN'T UNHINGED PSYCHOPATHS
SO WHERE'S DR. DORKARICH? I NEED TO ASK HIM HOW TO DESTROY METAL GEAR, AND IF IT INVOLVES L OR R OR AN ABSURD COMBINATION OF THE TWO I AM PROBABLY GOING TO KILL HIM.
OOOH I WANNA COME
NO
YES
NO YOU'LL GET SHOT YOU N00B
I AM NOT A N00B!!!!
N00B
BUT SHOOTING PEOPLE IS HARD :(
IF YOU SUCK
:(
STAY OUT OF MY WAY.
FINE.
HAHA JUST KIDDING
>:(
LOOK OUT SNAKE THERE ARE MINES THERE
WHO ARE YOU
A FAN
...
CALL ME DEEPTHROAT
THIS BETTER NOT HAPPEN AGAIN IN THE FUTURE
THERE'S ALSO A TANK BTW
VULCAN RAVEN: GTFO
OH JESUS
LOL
NO GRENADES MY ONE WEAKNESS
HELP I WAS SITTING ON A SPRING AAAAAAAAAA
THANKS FOR THE CARD BYE
WELL HE HAS THE CARD NOW, I HOPE YOU'RE HAPPY.
MAYBE I AM OKAY DID YOU EVER THINK OF THAT
HE SEEMS PRETTY HARDCORE. LIKE YOU.
SHUT UP.
I AM GOING TO KILL THAT GUY.
HEARD HE CUT OFF YOUR HAND. LOL.
SHUT UP >(
DID YOU KNOW SIOUX MEANS SNAKE?
IT'S GOING TO MEAN TORTURED SNAKE IN A SECOND
THE RAVEN ON MY HEAD...IT THIRSTS FOR HIS BLOOD. <--- DIRECT LINE FROM THE GAME
WHAT
WELL ANYWAY
YOU CAN'T USE WEAPONS THERE SNAKE CAUSE YOU MIGHT LEAK PLUTONIUM EVERYWHERE
SEZ YOU
DON'T WORRY I JUST MADE IT SO HE CAN'T USE THEM WITH MAGIC. I MEAN, NANOMACHINES.
FINE ARTIFICIALLY INCREASE THE DIFFICULTY OF THIS SEGMENT SEE IF I CARE
WHO LAYS OUT BUILDINGS LIKE THIS?
USE A REMOTE CONTROLLED MISSILE TO TAKE OUT THE CONTROL PANEL OVER THERE
YOU KNOW I DIDN'T LIKE DOING THIS THE FIRST TIME
I AM KILLING THE HELL OUT OF ALL THESE DUDES
:O
WELL BYE
HEY WAIT
HEY YOU, DORK BOY
SCIENTIST: OH JESUS
WHERE'S MY FRIEND
WHAT
AHARGGLABSFALGBALALGBALGAGHASGLAG
EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
*PEE*
CUT THAT OUT
SNAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAKE
HEY, YOU'RE THAT NINJA. <-- DIRECT FROM THE GAME
FIGHT ME SNAKE
IN FACT, PUNCH ME TO DEATH IF YOU COULD.
WAIT A MINUTE
THAT'S GREAT YOU GUYS YOU CAN JUST DO THAT AND I'M GOING TO HAVE A HEART ATTACK IN THIS LOCKER IF THAT'S OKAY WITH YOU BYE
WHATEVER
STOP BULLYING THE NERD, THAT'S MY JOB.
PUNCH ME HARDER. NO HARDER. UNF UNF UNF. OH GOD YES THAT'S IT RIGHT THERE. UUUUUUUNF
THIS IS MAKING ME UNCOMFORTABLE IN A WAY I CAN'T EXACTLY EXPLAIN.
GOD WHAT WOULD REALLY MAKE THIS THE BEST WOULD BE IF THE WALLS WERE LINED WITH LANDMINES AND I JUST SHOT MY GIRLFRIEND WITH A MISSILE FOR NO REASON
...GREY FOX!!!
JASKGAJGHAJGJAJSKJGJGKVBBKLASKFSAOWUTUGYAHVJKGA *SEIZURES OUT OF THE ROOM*
WTF CAMPBELL I PUNCHED HIM TO DEATH IN ZANZIBAR LAND!!!!
I KNOW WTF IS THIS!!
ACTUALLY HE'S ALIVE AND I KNOW A SUSPICIOUS AMOUNT OF INFORMATION ABOUT HIM.
WHAT
DR. CLARK TOOK GREY FOX AND TORTURED/EXPERIMENTED ON HIM UNTIL HE WENT CRAZY AND MADE HIM A CYBORG NINJA BECAUSE HE WAS APPARENTLY A SICKO.
:(
I TOOK THIS VERY PERSONALLY.
WHY
NO REASON UH ARE YOU GOING TO KILL HIM
IDK MAYBE
:(
WHAT HE WANTS ME TO >:( JEEZ
GET OUT OF THAT LOCKER YOU WUSS
ARE YOU GOING TO CHOP ME INTO BITS ;_;
NO. I ALWAYS WORK ALONE |<
SO ARE YOU AN OTAKU TOO :3
NO WTF IS WRONG WITH YOU
YOU'RE HAL EMMERICH RIGHT?
ARE YOU HERE TO RESCUE ME? *_*
NO I'M BUSY. WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOUR LEG
I HURT IT TRYING TO SCAMPER AWAY ;_;
SUCK IT UP. WHAT'S THE DEAL WITH METAL GEAR?
IT TRANSFORMS INTO A GIANT TIGER!! THEN IT MERGES WITH THE OTHER METAL GEARS TO FORM
SNAKE: IT SO DOES NOT!!!! >O IT'S GOING TO BLOW UP EVERYTHING IN THE UNIVERSE AND IT'S ALL YOUR FAULT!!! RARRRRRGH
EMMERICH: OW OW WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT OH GOD D: D:
SNAKE: THEY'RE GOING TO SHOOT A MISSILE WITH IT. WITH THE PART THAT SHOOTS MISSILES.
EMMERICH: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
HOW DID YOU NOT KNOW THIS
*SOB* IT HAS A THING TO CARRY NUCLEAR MISSILES BUT I NEVER THOUGHT IT'D SHOOT THEM
WHY WOULD IT BE CARRYING THEM THEN
NOOOOOOOOOOOOO MY REX IS SHOOTING NUCLEAR MISSILES NOOOOOOOOOOO OH GOD I'M GOING TO CAUSE THE DEATHS OF THOUSANDS NOOOOOOOOOOOO
UH
DID YOU KNOW MY GRANDFATHER WORKED ON THE MANHATTAN PROJECT
WELL THAT'S PRETTY ROUGH
AND MY DAD WAS BORN ON THE DAY HIROSHIMA GOT BOMBED
THAT'S PROBABLY A COINCIDENCE REALLY I DON'T THINK
MY FAMILY IS CURSED TO DESTROY THE WORLD!!!!! SCIENCE IS EVIL!! NUKES ARE BAD!!! ANIME LIED TO ME!!!! POR QUUUUUUUUUUUUEEE
*SOBS HYSTERICALLY*
STOP THAT. WHERE'S YOUR STUPID DEATH MOBILE, I'M GOING TO BLOW IT TO KINGDOM COME.
I'LL SHOW YOU
I DON'T THINK SO, GIMPY
IT'S MY DUTY TO DESTROY REX!! I CREATED HIM!!!
LOOK, DR. FRANKENSTEIN, I COULD PROBABLY SNAP YOU IN HALF WITH A GLANCE. GO HIDE SOMEWHERE. I'M GOING TO CALL YOU ON THE CODEC. TRY NOT TO DIE.
I'LL USE MY STEALTH CAMO!
THAT'S NICE.
^_^
...I'M GOING TO HAVE MERYL KEEP AN EYE ON YOU TOO.
SUP SNAKE
I NEED YOU TO BABYSIT A NERD
CAN DO OH GOD NO ASFAHGFSHAJGSAGKAG
WHAT
DID YOU HEAR MUSIC? I HEARD MUSIC. :3
QUIET. YOU SAW HER, WHAT'S SHE LOOK LIKE
SHE HAS A NICE BUTT.
YEAH.
WAIT YOU'RE STRAIGHT?
IT WAS A VERY NICE BUTT, SNAKE.
IT'S NOT AS NICE AS MINE.
KOJIMA: GOD I LOVE BUTTS.
POINT. GO FIND HER IN THE WOMAN'S BATHROOM.
...IT BETTER NOT HAVE AN ELEVATOR IN IT.
WHAT
NEVER MIND. HEY YOU'RE NOT ABOUT TO DIE ARE YOU
NO? ALSO YOU'RE INVADING MY PERSONAL SPACE D:
EVERYONE I'VE SAVED DIES.
YOU'RE BAD LUCK.
YEAH THANKS FOR THAT. BYE DOC.
CALL ME OTACON. :3
...
IT'S SHORT FOR OTAKU CONVENTION.
...
DID YOU KNOW I GOT INTO SCIENCE TO MAKE GIANT ROBOTS LIKE IN ANIME
THAT'S THE MOST PATHETIC THING I'VE EVER HEARD
YEAH YOU'RE RIGHT :( I'M A HORRIBLE PERSON. I REFUSE TO TAKE PART IN MURDER ANYMORE!!!
WHATEVER, OTADORK. I'M OUT OF HERE.
::QUIETLY STALKS::
SUP MERYL
SUP
LET ME HIT ON YOU
I'VE BEEN PROGRAMMED NOT TO LIKE MEN
UH HUH
I WANT TO BE A SOLDIER BECAUSE THEY ARE AMERICA'S HEROES
THERE'S NO SUCH THING AS HEROES. >:|
AREN'T YOU AND CAMPBELL HEROES
NO WE'RE JUST MURDERERS GOD I AM SO COLDHEARTED AND BITTER
MY DREAMS :(
YOU HAVE A GREAT BUTT
THE MOMENT: ::DIES::
FIRST IT'S MY EYES, NOW IT'S MY BUTT. WHAT'S NEXT?
ON THE BATTLEFIELD, YOU NEVER THINK ABOUT WHAT'S NEXT. <-- THIS IS A REAL EXCHANGE FROM THE GAME, WORD FOR WORD.
...ARE YOU SERIOUS?
GIMME THOSE STUPID CARD KEYS.
THIS KEY?
WTF WHERE ARE THE OTHERS
IDK
FINE I'LL JUST GO BLOW METAL GEAR UP. AGAIN.
TAKE ME TAKE ME
NO
DO IT
NO
PLEASE
NO
I NEED THIS TO VALIDATE MY LIFE DECISIONS
FINE JUST STOP WHINING
HARGABLARG
???
DO ME SNAKE
???????
DO ME HAAAAAAAAAAAARD
ALL MY FLIRTING HAS GOT ME IN OVER MY HEAD! I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT TO DO IN THIS SITUATION!
PSYCHO MANTIS: UR GAY
CAMPBELL HALP
DON'T SHOOT MERYL TO DEATH, OVER
PSYCHO MANTIS CONTROLS PEOPLE THROUGH HIS MUSIC
WHAT
OW JESUS
GOD I HAVE TO DO EVERYTHING AROUND HERE.
LOOK I CAN FLOAT
WHAT
YOU SEE THIS WALL HERE
THE FOURTH ONE
I CAN BLOW IT UP INTO SMITHEREENS
CAN NOT
O RLY
I SEE YOU ENJOY CASTLEVANIA
OMG
I WILL MOVE YOUR CONTROLLER
MY GOD MY PLAYSTATION IS POSSESSED
OW OW STOP SHOOTING ME
MERYL GET OVER HERE
MERYL SERIOUSLY THIS IS EXACTLY WHY I DIDN'T WANT YOU TO COME WITH ME
@_@
MERYL MERYL AJFSGAGFHSAHGHJAGSHAG *SEIZURING INEFFECTUALLY AT THE CODEC*
NO BULLETS MY ONE WEAKNESS
OH THANK GOD
WHY'D YOU SAVE HER SNAKE
...CAUSE?
IT'S BECAUSE YOU LOVE HER ISN'T IT ISN'T IT BUT YOU'RE A SICK HEARTLESS MURDERER YOU CAN'T LOVE ANYONE
LAY OFF NAOMI JEEZ
SO YEAH GO THROUGH THE DOOR OVER THERE.
UH HUH CAN I HAVE YOUR MASK, I WANT YOUR MASK
GOD I HATE PEOPLE. I HATE PEOPLE SO MUCH. YOU'RE ALL STUPID AND SELFISH. I KILLED MY FATHER AND BURNED DOWN MY VILLAGE.
WHY DOESN'T ANYONE ACTUALLY DIE AFTER I KILL THEM.
I WANT TO KILL EVERYONE IN THE ENTIRE WORLD.
YOU MONSTER.
LET HIM TALK, I AM INTRIGUED BY HIS VIEWPOINT.
MERYL WANTS TO BONE YOU
REALLY
HARDCORE.
WELL.
BUT MAYBE YOU WON'T END UP TOGETHER. IDK. GIVE ME BACK MY MASK YOU MISCREANT. OTHERWISE I CAN HEAR HER THINKING ABOUT PEGGING YOU.
UH
LET ME GET THAT DOOR FOR YOU.
K LET'S GO
SORRY ABOUT BEING CONTROLLED LIKE THAT
I DON'T CARE
WHAT'S YOUR NAME
SHUT UP
HOW OLD ARE YOU
LOOK SHUT UP
DO YOU HAVE ANY FAMILY
I HAVE NO FAMILY!!!!
DO YOU LIKE ANYONE
I'M WALKING OUT THIS DOOR, AND IF YOU'RE NOT COMING WITH ME THEN TOO BAD.
YOU'RE A TERRIBLE PERSON.
MAYBE. WHATEVER.
~*~*END ACT 1*~*~
ACT 2 AFTER A SHORT INTERMISSION!
SOME OF THESE SPRITES WERE POSSIBLE THANKS TO GENEROUS DONATIONS FROM VIEWERS LIKE YOU! PLEASE COME OUT AND TAKE A BOW!
PLEASE THANK SPIRITSOLDIER AND FIREFLY99 RESPECTIVELY FOR HELPING OUT OUR TROUPE!
WE SINCERELY HOPE YOU ENJOY OUR PRODUCTION!
I AM SOLID SNAKE, AND I HAVE HAD ENOUGH OF METAL GEAR STUPID HOUSE FOR CRAZY FREAKS. I AM GOING TO ALASKA WHERE I AM GOING TO RACE DOGS AND DRINK. A LOT. AND DO NOTHING ELSE.
CAMPBELL: SUP SNAKE
WHAT
CHLOROFORM
WHATSHAGHSAGBGBBBLLLBLB
NOW THAT WE'VE GOT THAT OUT OF THE WAY WE NEED YOU TO GO THIS PLACE CALLED SHADOW MOSES.
NO
THERE'S THIS GROUP OF TERRORISTS THAT HAVE A NUKE AND THEY'RE GOING TO BLOW US ALL UP SNAKE
WTF IS THERE NO ONE ELSE WHO WILL DO THIS
WELL THERE'S NO ONE ELSE WHO WILL *PUT UP* WITH THIS, NO
SO YEAH THEY HAVE A NUKE
NAOMI: DON'T MIND ME JUST GIVING YOU A SHOT HUM TE TUM THERE'S NOTHING SUSPICIOUS ABOUT THIS SHOT PLEASE GO ABOUT YOUR BUSINESS
AND SOME IMPORTANT DUDES. YOU NEED TO RESCUE THEM. AND STOP THE NUKE.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHAT I HAD TO DO LAST TIME
WELL THAT'S WHY YOU'RE SO GOOD AT IT
BUT I AM BITTER AND JADED NOW
MY DAUGHTERNIECE IS THERE
OH WELL THAT'S DIFFERENT THEN
SO IT'S A GROUP OF PSYCHOS AS USUAL EXCEPT ONE OF THEM LOOKS JUST LIKE YOU
HUH
AND HE'S CALLED LIQUID SNAKE
HUH
IT'S ALMOST LIKE HE'S YOUR TWIN
I HAVE NO FAMILY!!!!
WELL ANYWAY GET IN THERE, AND FIND YOUR OWN WEAPONS CAUSE WE'RE REAL BUSY.
HERE I AM
LIQUID SNAKE: I WILL PUT MY SHIRT BACK ON WHEN I AM READY TO PUT MY SHIRT BACK ON.
*HIND D!!!*
CAMPBELL: TIME TO INTRODUCE YOU TO YOUR SUPPORT TEAM
SNAKE: YOU COULDN'T HAVE DONE THIS AN HOUR AGO
MEI LING: I SAVE YOUR GAME! AND TELL YOU PROVERBS, MOST OF WHICH BOIL DOWN TO "YOU DON'T REALLY NEED THAT AMMO PACK NO STOP IT GOD YOU SET OFF THE ALERT WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU". TEE HEE HEE~
NASTASHA: NUKES ARE BAD!!!11!
NAOMI: I'M HERE TO INEPTLY COVER MY HATRED FOR YOU WITH AWKWARD FLIRTING
I CAN LIVE WITH THAT
NUKES!!!
IN A VENT
MASTER MILLER: HEY SNAKE REMEMBER ME
YOU WERE USELESS
AND NOW I'M USELESS IN ALASKA!!!
THERE'S NOTHING I WANT MORE IN A DANGEROUS SITUATION THAN SOMEONE WHO GIVES ME USELESS INFORMATION, WELCOME ABOARD
HEY DARPA CHIEF SUP
DARPA CHIEF DONALD ANDERSON: SUP
CAN THEY REALLY LAUNCH A NUKE
CAUSE IT'D BE NICE IF THEY COULDN'T AND I COULD GO HOME
JUST SAYIN
YEAH THEY CAN SORRY
:(
THEY'RE ACTUALLY GOING TO LAUNCH IT FROM A METAL GEAR, COME TO THINK OF IT
>:(
SO DARPA AND ARMSTECH JOINED TOGETHER TO MAKE A METAL GEAR, AND THEN TERRORISTS GOT IT. I DON'T KNOW WHY THIS KEEPS HAPPENING WITH THESE THINGS.
>:(
BUT THEY CAN'T FIRE IT WITHOUT TWO CODES. COINCIDENTALLY, THE TWO PEOPLE HELD HOSTAGE KNOW THOSE CODES. AND I TALKED.
>(
BUT IF YOU GET THREE CARD KEYS YOU CAN STOP IT. SO YOU SHOULD PROBABLY DO THAT. BAKER PROBABLY HAS THEM.
K
I HEARD THEY CEMENTED BAKER IN A ROOM IN THE BASEMENT
...PLEASE TELL ME YOU'RE JOKING
YOU DIDN'T HEAR ANY OTHER WAY TO DISMANTLE THE WARHEAD RIGHT? RIGHT? RIGHT?!?! THIS IS IMPORTANT
WHAT NO
HHHHHHHHHHHHHRRRNNNNGNH
MY GOD HE'S DEAD
CAMPBELL HE TOTALLY JUST DIED RIGHT HERE WTF
WTF
WTF
YES, WTF
WAIT DO YOU KNOW SOMETHING ABOUT THIS
NO.
IT LOOKED LIKE A HEART ATTACK. THAT'S TOTALLY BIZARRE AND UNHEARD OF, I HAVE NO IDEA HOW HE HAD ONE. I GOTTA GO.
SUSPICIOUS SOLDIER: HEY GET OUTTA THERE
YOU KILLED THE CHIEF WTF
DID NOT
DON'T MOVE
LOL N00B
NO U
LOL N00B
NO U!!!!!!
U SUK
SHUT UP!!!!
SUP
N00B SOLDIER: EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE WELL BYE
WHAT HEY WAIT
YOU HAVE A REALLY NICE BUTT
REALLY
DIE
NOPE
UP I GO
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
WHAT
WHAT
WHAT WAS THAT WHAT
CAMPBELL HELP
THAT WAS PROBABLY PSYCHO MANTIS. HE'S GOT ALL KINDS OF CRAZY POWERS.
OH BIG SURPRISE.
HEY SNAKE KNOCK KNOCK
WHAT
NUKES!!!!
:|
WHY ARE PEOPLE CONSTANTLY CEMENTING EACH OTHER IN ROOMS
THIS IS NOT NORMAL
ARMSTECH PRESIDENT KENNETH BAKER: HRRRRGH
OKAY
HI
HI?
YOU TOUCH HIM AND EVERYTHING WILL BLOW UP. THIS IS A BRILLIANT PLAN THAT CANNOT FAIL OR BACKFIRE.
...YEAH
I'M REVOLVER
*SPIN*
*SPIN*
*SPIN*
OCELOT
YES I CAN SEE THAT.
THIS HERE'S MY GUN.
YES.
TIME TO DIE
I'M GETTING OFF ON LOADING MY GUN BY THE WAY
AND YET THIS IS NOT THE WEIRDEST BATTLE I'VE FOUGHT IN MY CAREER, SADLY ENOUGH
UUUUUUUUUUNF
OW STOP SHOOTING ME GOD
CYBORG NINJA: SUP GUYS
MY HAND WTF
SNAKE SNAKE SNAKE SNAKE SNAKE SNAKE
WHAT
SJAIHAHGAGFAHSDHAGAFGAFGAGFAGFGAGGSGAAASSFGFGFFFFFFFFFFF *SPASMS, LEAVES*
THANKS FOR CUTTING THE WIRES BTW CRAZY PERSON
BLARG
I TALKED SO THEY HAVE MY CODE TOO
>(
OCELOT'S A SICKO. I HOPE YOU DON'T GET STRIPPED NAKED AND TORTURED BY HIM.
THE DARPA CHIEF IS DEAD. JUST FYI.
NOOOOOOOOOOOO ;_;
OW STOP HITTING ME
I GAVE THE CARDS TO A WOMAN
WHEN DID YOU FIND THE TIME TO DO THAT
YOU SHOULD TALK TO HER ON THE CODEC. LOOK ON THE BACK OF THE CD CASE.
THE WHAT
YOU SHOULD ALSO FIND SOME DORK NAMED HAL EMMERICH. HE MADE METAL GEAR, SO IN THE TOTALLY UNLIKELY EVENT THAT SOMETHING UNEXPECTED HAPPENS, HE MIGHT BE ABLE TO HELP YOU.
RESCUING A SCIENTIST, THAT'S NEW AND FRESH. HOPEFULLY THIS ONE WON'T JUMP ROOMS LIKE A GIANT FLEA.
DID YOU KNOW THAT NUKES ARE BAD
YOU DON'T SAY
NUKES ARE BAD. BAD.
YES.
BAD. NUCLEAR WAR IS BAD. AND SO ARE NUKES.
YES.
HERE HAVE A DISK WITH ALL OF METAL GEAR'S INFO ON IT
K
WHAT WAS WITH THAT NINJA BTW
YOU SHOULD ASK NAOMI HUNTERRRRRRRRRRRNNGGHHHHHH
IT HAPPENED AGAIN.
HMM.
WAS THAT ANOTHER HEART ATTACK
WELL HERE'S A LIST OF THINGS THAT CAUSE HEART ATTACKS SO I CAN AVOID ANSWERING YOUR QUESTION
I WANT YOU TO WORK WITH MERYL SNAKE
WHAT
DO IT NOW
FINE WHATEVER
NAOMI WHAT WAS THAT CRAZY NINJA'S DEAL
I HAVE NO IDEA BYE
CD CASE WHAT CD CASE
THERE'S NO CD CASE HERE
PLAYER: WAIT THEY MEAN THE ACTUAL CD CASE THE GAME CAME IN WTF KIND OF COPY PROTECTION IS THIS
SUP MERYL
OMGGGGGGGGGGGGG SNAKE
|<
YOU'RE AWESOME
YOU'RE HOT
TEE HEE
BUT YOU PROBABLY WOULDN'T LIKE ME IF YOU MET ME
...WAIT WHAT
YOU LOOK JUST LIKE LIQUID
I HAVE NO FAMILY!!!!
DID YOU KNOW THIS BASE IS ACTUALLY A SECRET MILITARY BASE FOR DEVELOPING METAL GEAR AND NOT A NUCLEAR STORAGE FACILITY
OR DID I JUST BLOW YOUR MIND
CAMPBELL >:(
AND THEY CALLED IN FOXHOUND TO WATCH BECAUSE FOUR UNHINGED PSYCHOPATHS ARE JUST THE KIND OF PEOPLE YOU WANT INVOLVED IN THIS SORT OF THING
YOU SAY THAT LIKE THERE ARE A LOT OF PEOPLE WHO AREN'T UNHINGED PSYCHOPATHS
SO WHERE'S DR. DORKARICH? I NEED TO ASK HIM HOW TO DESTROY METAL GEAR, AND IF IT INVOLVES L OR R OR AN ABSURD COMBINATION OF THE TWO I AM PROBABLY GOING TO KILL HIM.
OOOH I WANNA COME
NO
YES
NO YOU'LL GET SHOT YOU N00B
I AM NOT A N00B!!!!
N00B
BUT SHOOTING PEOPLE IS HARD :(
IF YOU SUCK
:(
STAY OUT OF MY WAY.
FINE.
HAHA JUST KIDDING
>:(
LOOK OUT SNAKE THERE ARE MINES THERE
WHO ARE YOU
A FAN
...
CALL ME DEEPTHROAT
THIS BETTER NOT HAPPEN AGAIN IN THE FUTURE
THERE'S ALSO A TANK BTW
VULCAN RAVEN: GTFO
OH JESUS
LOL
NO GRENADES MY ONE WEAKNESS
HELP I WAS SITTING ON A SPRING AAAAAAAAAA
THANKS FOR THE CARD BYE
WELL HE HAS THE CARD NOW, I HOPE YOU'RE HAPPY.
MAYBE I AM OKAY DID YOU EVER THINK OF THAT
HE SEEMS PRETTY HARDCORE. LIKE YOU.
SHUT UP.
I AM GOING TO KILL THAT GUY.
HEARD HE CUT OFF YOUR HAND. LOL.
SHUT UP >(
DID YOU KNOW SIOUX MEANS SNAKE?
IT'S GOING TO MEAN TORTURED SNAKE IN A SECOND
THE RAVEN ON MY HEAD...IT THIRSTS FOR HIS BLOOD. <--- DIRECT LINE FROM THE GAME
WHAT
WELL ANYWAY
YOU CAN'T USE WEAPONS THERE SNAKE CAUSE YOU MIGHT LEAK PLUTONIUM EVERYWHERE
SEZ YOU
DON'T WORRY I JUST MADE IT SO HE CAN'T USE THEM WITH MAGIC. I MEAN, NANOMACHINES.
FINE ARTIFICIALLY INCREASE THE DIFFICULTY OF THIS SEGMENT SEE IF I CARE
WHO LAYS OUT BUILDINGS LIKE THIS?
USE A REMOTE CONTROLLED MISSILE TO TAKE OUT THE CONTROL PANEL OVER THERE
YOU KNOW I DIDN'T LIKE DOING THIS THE FIRST TIME
I AM KILLING THE HELL OUT OF ALL THESE DUDES
:O
WELL BYE
HEY WAIT
HEY YOU, DORK BOY
SCIENTIST: OH JESUS
WHERE'S MY FRIEND
WHAT
AHARGGLABSFALGBALALGBALGAGHASGLAG
EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
*PEE*
CUT THAT OUT
SNAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAKE
HEY, YOU'RE THAT NINJA. <-- DIRECT FROM THE GAME
FIGHT ME SNAKE
IN FACT, PUNCH ME TO DEATH IF YOU COULD.
WAIT A MINUTE
THAT'S GREAT YOU GUYS YOU CAN JUST DO THAT AND I'M GOING TO HAVE A HEART ATTACK IN THIS LOCKER IF THAT'S OKAY WITH YOU BYE
WHATEVER
STOP BULLYING THE NERD, THAT'S MY JOB.
PUNCH ME HARDER. NO HARDER. UNF UNF UNF. OH GOD YES THAT'S IT RIGHT THERE. UUUUUUUNF
THIS IS MAKING ME UNCOMFORTABLE IN A WAY I CAN'T EXACTLY EXPLAIN.
GOD WHAT WOULD REALLY MAKE THIS THE BEST WOULD BE IF THE WALLS WERE LINED WITH LANDMINES AND I JUST SHOT MY GIRLFRIEND WITH A MISSILE FOR NO REASON
...GREY FOX!!!
JASKGAJGHAJGJAJSKJGJGKVBBKLASKFSAOWUTUGYAHVJKGA *SEIZURES OUT OF THE ROOM*
WTF CAMPBELL I PUNCHED HIM TO DEATH IN ZANZIBAR LAND!!!!
I KNOW WTF IS THIS!!
ACTUALLY HE'S ALIVE AND I KNOW A SUSPICIOUS AMOUNT OF INFORMATION ABOUT HIM.
WHAT
DR. CLARK TOOK GREY FOX AND TORTURED/EXPERIMENTED ON HIM UNTIL HE WENT CRAZY AND MADE HIM A CYBORG NINJA BECAUSE HE WAS APPARENTLY A SICKO.
:(
I TOOK THIS VERY PERSONALLY.
WHY
NO REASON UH ARE YOU GOING TO KILL HIM
IDK MAYBE
:(
WHAT HE WANTS ME TO >:( JEEZ
GET OUT OF THAT LOCKER YOU WUSS
ARE YOU GOING TO CHOP ME INTO BITS ;_;
NO. I ALWAYS WORK ALONE |<
SO ARE YOU AN OTAKU TOO :3
NO WTF IS WRONG WITH YOU
YOU'RE HAL EMMERICH RIGHT?
ARE YOU HERE TO RESCUE ME? *_*
NO I'M BUSY. WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOUR LEG
I HURT IT TRYING TO SCAMPER AWAY ;_;
SUCK IT UP. WHAT'S THE DEAL WITH METAL GEAR?
IT TRANSFORMS INTO A GIANT TIGER!! THEN IT MERGES WITH THE OTHER METAL GEARS TO FORM
SNAKE: IT SO DOES NOT!!!! >O IT'S GOING TO BLOW UP EVERYTHING IN THE UNIVERSE AND IT'S ALL YOUR FAULT!!! RARRRRRGH
EMMERICH: OW OW WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT OH GOD D: D:
SNAKE: THEY'RE GOING TO SHOOT A MISSILE WITH IT. WITH THE PART THAT SHOOTS MISSILES.
EMMERICH: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
HOW DID YOU NOT KNOW THIS
*SOB* IT HAS A THING TO CARRY NUCLEAR MISSILES BUT I NEVER THOUGHT IT'D SHOOT THEM
WHY WOULD IT BE CARRYING THEM THEN
NOOOOOOOOOOOOO MY REX IS SHOOTING NUCLEAR MISSILES NOOOOOOOOOOO OH GOD I'M GOING TO CAUSE THE DEATHS OF THOUSANDS NOOOOOOOOOOOO
UH
DID YOU KNOW MY GRANDFATHER WORKED ON THE MANHATTAN PROJECT
WELL THAT'S PRETTY ROUGH
AND MY DAD WAS BORN ON THE DAY HIROSHIMA GOT BOMBED
THAT'S PROBABLY A COINCIDENCE REALLY I DON'T THINK
MY FAMILY IS CURSED TO DESTROY THE WORLD!!!!! SCIENCE IS EVIL!! NUKES ARE BAD!!! ANIME LIED TO ME!!!! POR QUUUUUUUUUUUUEEE
*SOBS HYSTERICALLY*
STOP THAT. WHERE'S YOUR STUPID DEATH MOBILE, I'M GOING TO BLOW IT TO KINGDOM COME.
I'LL SHOW YOU
I DON'T THINK SO, GIMPY
IT'S MY DUTY TO DESTROY REX!! I CREATED HIM!!!
LOOK, DR. FRANKENSTEIN, I COULD PROBABLY SNAP YOU IN HALF WITH A GLANCE. GO HIDE SOMEWHERE. I'M GOING TO CALL YOU ON THE CODEC. TRY NOT TO DIE.
I'LL USE MY STEALTH CAMO!
THAT'S NICE.
^_^
...I'M GOING TO HAVE MERYL KEEP AN EYE ON YOU TOO.
SUP SNAKE
I NEED YOU TO BABYSIT A NERD
CAN DO OH GOD NO ASFAHGFSHAJGSAGKAG
WHAT
DID YOU HEAR MUSIC? I HEARD MUSIC. :3
QUIET. YOU SAW HER, WHAT'S SHE LOOK LIKE
SHE HAS A NICE BUTT.
YEAH.
WAIT YOU'RE STRAIGHT?
IT WAS A VERY NICE BUTT, SNAKE.
IT'S NOT AS NICE AS MINE.
KOJIMA: GOD I LOVE BUTTS.
POINT. GO FIND HER IN THE WOMAN'S BATHROOM.
...IT BETTER NOT HAVE AN ELEVATOR IN IT.
WHAT
NEVER MIND. HEY YOU'RE NOT ABOUT TO DIE ARE YOU
NO? ALSO YOU'RE INVADING MY PERSONAL SPACE D:
EVERYONE I'VE SAVED DIES.
YOU'RE BAD LUCK.
YEAH THANKS FOR THAT. BYE DOC.
CALL ME OTACON. :3
...
IT'S SHORT FOR OTAKU CONVENTION.
...
DID YOU KNOW I GOT INTO SCIENCE TO MAKE GIANT ROBOTS LIKE IN ANIME
THAT'S THE MOST PATHETIC THING I'VE EVER HEARD
YEAH YOU'RE RIGHT :( I'M A HORRIBLE PERSON. I REFUSE TO TAKE PART IN MURDER ANYMORE!!!
WHATEVER, OTADORK. I'M OUT OF HERE.
::QUIETLY STALKS::
SUP MERYL
SUP
LET ME HIT ON YOU
I'VE BEEN PROGRAMMED NOT TO LIKE MEN
UH HUH
I WANT TO BE A SOLDIER BECAUSE THEY ARE AMERICA'S HEROES
THERE'S NO SUCH THING AS HEROES. >:|
AREN'T YOU AND CAMPBELL HEROES
NO WE'RE JUST MURDERERS GOD I AM SO COLDHEARTED AND BITTER
MY DREAMS :(
YOU HAVE A GREAT BUTT
THE MOMENT: ::DIES::
FIRST IT'S MY EYES, NOW IT'S MY BUTT. WHAT'S NEXT?
ON THE BATTLEFIELD, YOU NEVER THINK ABOUT WHAT'S NEXT. <-- THIS IS A REAL EXCHANGE FROM THE GAME, WORD FOR WORD.
...ARE YOU SERIOUS?
GIMME THOSE STUPID CARD KEYS.
THIS KEY?
WTF WHERE ARE THE OTHERS
IDK
FINE I'LL JUST GO BLOW METAL GEAR UP. AGAIN.
TAKE ME TAKE ME
NO
DO IT
NO
PLEASE
NO
I NEED THIS TO VALIDATE MY LIFE DECISIONS
FINE JUST STOP WHINING
HARGABLARG
???
DO ME SNAKE
???????
DO ME HAAAAAAAAAAAARD
ALL MY FLIRTING HAS GOT ME IN OVER MY HEAD! I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT TO DO IN THIS SITUATION!
PSYCHO MANTIS: UR GAY
CAMPBELL HALP
DON'T SHOOT MERYL TO DEATH, OVER
PSYCHO MANTIS CONTROLS PEOPLE THROUGH HIS MUSIC
WHAT
OW JESUS
GOD I HAVE TO DO EVERYTHING AROUND HERE.
LOOK I CAN FLOAT
WHAT
YOU SEE THIS WALL HERE
THE FOURTH ONE
I CAN BLOW IT UP INTO SMITHEREENS
CAN NOT
O RLY
I SEE YOU ENJOY CASTLEVANIA
OMG
I WILL MOVE YOUR CONTROLLER
MY GOD MY PLAYSTATION IS POSSESSED
OW OW STOP SHOOTING ME
MERYL GET OVER HERE
MERYL SERIOUSLY THIS IS EXACTLY WHY I DIDN'T WANT YOU TO COME WITH ME
@_@
MERYL MERYL AJFSGAGFHSAHGHJAGSHAG *SEIZURING INEFFECTUALLY AT THE CODEC*
NO BULLETS MY ONE WEAKNESS
OH THANK GOD
WHY'D YOU SAVE HER SNAKE
...CAUSE?
IT'S BECAUSE YOU LOVE HER ISN'T IT ISN'T IT BUT YOU'RE A SICK HEARTLESS MURDERER YOU CAN'T LOVE ANYONE
LAY OFF NAOMI JEEZ
SO YEAH GO THROUGH THE DOOR OVER THERE.
UH HUH CAN I HAVE YOUR MASK, I WANT YOUR MASK
GOD I HATE PEOPLE. I HATE PEOPLE SO MUCH. YOU'RE ALL STUPID AND SELFISH. I KILLED MY FATHER AND BURNED DOWN MY VILLAGE.
WHY DOESN'T ANYONE ACTUALLY DIE AFTER I KILL THEM.
I WANT TO KILL EVERYONE IN THE ENTIRE WORLD.
YOU MONSTER.
LET HIM TALK, I AM INTRIGUED BY HIS VIEWPOINT.
MERYL WANTS TO BONE YOU
REALLY
HARDCORE.
WELL.
BUT MAYBE YOU WON'T END UP TOGETHER. IDK. GIVE ME BACK MY MASK YOU MISCREANT. OTHERWISE I CAN HEAR HER THINKING ABOUT PEGGING YOU.
UH
LET ME GET THAT DOOR FOR YOU.
K LET'S GO
SORRY ABOUT BEING CONTROLLED LIKE THAT
I DON'T CARE
WHAT'S YOUR NAME
SHUT UP
HOW OLD ARE YOU
LOOK SHUT UP
DO YOU HAVE ANY FAMILY
I HAVE NO FAMILY!!!!
DO YOU LIKE ANYONE
I'M WALKING OUT THIS DOOR, AND IF YOU'RE NOT COMING WITH ME THEN TOO BAD.
YOU'RE A TERRIBLE PERSON.
MAYBE. WHATEVER.
~*~*END ACT 1*~*~
ACT 2 AFTER A SHORT INTERMISSION!