~THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS BOUNDLESS SLAUGHTER
METAL GEAR SOLID
~*~*ACT 2*~*~
AGH WOLFDOGS
AGH MINEFIELD
HEY A LASER OH GOD AAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH
MEEEEEEEERYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYLLL
SNIPER WOLF: LOL
LEAVE ME AND RUN
NO
AJSFIAHGHAHGHGAH AOMG OGOMG OMGOMG YOU HAVE TO SAVE MERYL SNAKE AODSJAHGAHGJKG
WOAH OKAY
WHY ARE YOU SAVING PEOPLE SNAKE YOU HORRIBLE EXCUSE FOR A HUMAN BEING WITH A BLACK PIT FOR A HEART
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
OTACON WHERE'S A PSG-1
...IDK ;_;
FINE BE THAT WAY
SAVE MERYL AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
LOOK I'M WORKING ON IT
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
WHERE'D MERYL GO? EH.
OW BULLETS MY ONE WEAKNESS
WELL WHATEVER
SNIPER WOLF: SURPRISE! AMBUSH!!
>(
I AM GOING TO KILL YOU PERSONALLY.
YOU AND EVERYONE ELSE, LADY.
OW
HI
WHAT
WE'RE BROTHERS
I HAVE NO FAMILY!!!
YOU TOOK EVERYTHING FROM ME, AND NOW I'LL HAVE MY REVENGE!!!
I DON'T EVEN KNOW YOU
WE'RE TWINS.
APPARENTLY?
AND BIG BOSS'S SONS.
WHAT SINCE WHEN
WE NEED BIG BOSS'S BODY.
I BURNED HIM ALIVE WITH A RAINBOW FLAMETHROWER, THERE ARE NO REMAINS.
GOT TO GO, THE AMERICANS AREN'T COOPERATING. IT'S LIKE THEY'VE GOT SOMETHING UP THEIR SLEEVE OR SOMETHING. WELL ANYWAY BYE.
SO WE'RE GOING TO RIDE THAT NUKE RIGHT INTO HISTORY.
I SEE SOMEONE'S BEEN WATCHING DR. STRANGELOVE.
MAKE SURE YOU DON'T SCREW UP THIS TIME OCELOT
WHATEVER
I GOTTA GO POP PILLS AND FEED MY FAMILY. MY FAMILY OF WOLFDOGS.
K
TIME TO TORTURE YOU NOW
YEAH I GATHERED THAT.
I STOLE YOUR DISK. AND CAMPBELL IS LYING TO YOU. AND MERYL MIGHT STILL BE ALIVE. WHERE ARE THE OTHER KEYS?
I'M NOT TELLING. |<
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH
OW
CAMPBELL WTF IS WITH THIS METAL GEAR NONSENSE
YOU KNEW?!?
YOU'RE A JERK
YEAH, BUT YOU STILL NEED TO STOP METAL GEAR, OR WORLD CHAOS OR SOMETHING. DO IT.
WHY DON'T THEY JUST GIVE THEM BIG BOSS'S BODY THAT SHOULDN'T EVEN EXIST
CUZ.
WHERE'D THE DARPA CHIEF'S BLOOD GO?
IDK
TELL ME ABOUT YOURSELF NAOMI
EH
I KILLED MY DAD.
THAT'S HORRIBLE WTF
WELL BIG BOSS SAID HE WAS MY DAD. <-- EXCEPT HE DIDN'T WTF
I HAD A BROTHER BUT HE DIED.
K
YOU GOT ANY FRIENDS
CAMPBELL'S MY FRIEND. :)
:)
WHAT WHY
AND A DUDE NAMED FRANK JAEGER THAT I PUNCHED TO DEATH IN A MINEFIELD
!!!!!!
WE WERE REAL CLOSE. BUT SOMETIMES THINGS GO DOWN AND YOU HAVE TO PUNCH YOUR BEST FRIEND TO DEATH IN A MINEFIELD, YOU KNOW HOW IT GOES.
UH OH.
OTACON GET ME OUT OF HERE
ANYTHING TO HELP OUT!!!! :D
WOW I CAN'T BELIEVE THEY CAPTURED YOU
SNAKE: SHUT UP AND GET ME OUT OF HERE
OTACON: OW WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU WHY ARE YOU CONSTANTLY ROUGHING ME UP OW OW
SNAKE: >( GET ME OUT OF HERE OR I'LL BE AS DEAD AS DARPA CHIEF HERE
OMG DEAD BODY EEEEEE D: D:
GOD YOU'RE A NERD.
HERE I BROUGHT YOU SOME KETCHUP
WHAT
HAVE THIS HANDKERCHIEF TOO. MY GIRLFRIEND SNIPER WOLF GAVE IT TO ME. WE'RE GOING TO GET MARRIED~
...
WELP GOTTA GO
KNOCK OUT THE GUARD AND GET ME OUT OF HERE JESUS
I CAN'T DO THAT!!! :O OMG HE'S COMING BACK BYE
UGH, NERDS.
HELP I'VE RUPTURED MY STOMACH
JOHNNY: !!!
HA HA BYE
I CAN'T BELIEVE THAT WORKED
TOLD YOU :3
QUIET |<
SORRY ABOUT YOUR DAUGHTERNIECE CAMPBELL
:.( IT'S OKAY
BESIDES MAYBE SHE'S OKAY
YEAH
DID YOU LOVE HER SNAKE DID YOU DID YOU DID YOU
JESUS WHAT IS YOUR DEAL
GOD THIS TOWER IS EIGHT BILLION FLOORS
OH GOD I'M BEING CHASED WTF HOW COULD THIS HAPPEN TO ME AGAIN
THIS IS SO AWESOME.
NOW TO CROSS THIS BRIDGE
LIQUID: LOL NO
>:(
DIE!
HUP DOWN THE BUILDING
WHY CAN'T I JUMP EIGHT FEET TO THE BOTTOM FLOOR WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME. WELL WHATEVER BACK UP WE GO.
AAAAA DON'T SHOOT IT'S ME DON'T SHOOT
WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE
I'M SCARED OF HEIGHTS.
YEAH THANKS FOR THAT BUT WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE.
I WASN'T STALKING YOU IF THAT'S WHAT YOU'RE IMPLYING.
DID YOU TAKE THIS ELEVATOR?
YUP
IT'S NOT WORKING.
THAT'S WEIRD. MY GOD, YOU'RE INCREDIBLE, YOU KNOW THAT? YOU'RE THE MOST AWESOME PERSON EVER. *_*
NO I'M NOT. |<
HEY CAN I ASK YOU SOMETHING
|<
HAVE YOU EVER LOVED SOMEONE?
...
DO SOLDIERS FALL IN LOVE?
...UH
DO YOU THINK LOVE CAN BLOOM, EVEN ON A BATTLEFIELD? <-- DIRECTLY FROM THE GAME
ARE YOU COMING ON TO ME?
DO YOU?
UH, YEAH. SURE. ALL SORTS OF PEOPLE CAN FALL IN LOVE WITH EACH OTHER ANYWHERE AT ANY TIME, WHY NOT. BUT YOU SHOULD PROTECT THEM AND NOT HIT THEM WITH MISSILES. THAT'S WHAT I LEARNED.
YEAH THAT'S A GOOD PHILOSOPHY.
FIX THIS ELEVATOR
K
YOU LOOK REALLY BAD BTW
I'M COMPLETELY TERRIFIED BUT DON'T WORRY I'LL BE FINE
K
LIQUID WHAT IS YOUR DAMAGE
I'LL KILL YOU AND ALL YOUR STUPID GENES, BROTHER
THAT DOESN'T EVEN MAKE SENSE, AND I DON'T HAVE A BROTHER
YOU CAN ROT IN HELL WITH OUR FATHER!!!
NO MISSILES MY ONE WEAKNESS
SEE YOU IN HELL... LIQUID. THAT TAKES CARE OF THE CREMATION. <-- DIRECTLY FROM THE GAME, THANK YOU JOHN MCCLANE. I MEAN, SOLID SNAKE.
HEY THE ELEVATOR'S WORKING FOR NO REASON, IDK WHAT THAT'S ABOUT
AWESOME
WHAT WAS THAT EXPLOSION
I TOOK OUT A HELICOPTER
WOW YOU'RE THE MOST AWESOME PERSON I'VE EVER MET IN MY ENTIRE LIFE SNAKE!!!! *_*
YEAH I KNOW
BY THE WAY FOUR STEALTH CAMO PROTOTYPES ARE MISSING
WHAT WHY DIDN'T YOU GIVE ME ONE OF THOSE BEFORE?
I... FORGOT?
REMIND ME TO PUNCH YOU LATER.
WTF WHY IS THE WEIGHT LIMIT WARNING GOING OFF
??? IT DIDN'T GO OFF FOR ME. BY THE WAY I WEIGH 135 POUNDS.
HA HA HA HA HA SERIOUSLY? JESUS
AMBUSH1!!
AKSIGAHGHAHGUAHGHA THOSE GUYS ARE IN THE ELEVATOR WITH YOU SNAKE JESUS CHRIST THEY'RE IN THE ELEVATOR WITH YOU!!!!
:| OH YEAH FOUR GUYS IN AN ELEVATOR, THAT'S NEW.
NO BULLETS OUR ONE WEAKNESS!
I AM IN A SNOWFIELD
OW JESUS SOMEONE SHOT ME WTF
SNAKE ARE YOU OKAY OMG D:
SOMEONE SHOT ME
IT'S HER! <3 <3
WHAT STOP THAT SHE SHOT ME
YOU BET I DID.
PLZ DON'T KILL HER SNAKE
WHAT
I AM GOING TO KILL YOU SNAKE
SHE'S A GOOD PERSON!!!
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU.
I CAN SEEEEE YOOOOU
WOLF DON'T
SHUT UP, WHOEVER YOU ARE
;_;
I AM GOING TO KILL YOU FIRST WOLF
I DON'T THINK SO
NOOOOO PLZ DON'T FIGHT YOU GUYS I LOVE YOU BOTH ;____;
CAN'T TALK, BUSY
OW BULLETS MY ONE WEAKNESS
NOOOOOOOOOO
WELL LOOKS LIKE I'M DYING. CAN'T COMPLAIN, REALLY.
THAT'S NICE.
I WAS RAISED ON A BATTLEFIELD AND SUFFERED A HUGE AMOUNT OF TRAUMA AND THEN BIG BOSS SAVED ME.
DID HE REALLY HAVE TIME FOR THINGS LIKE THAT WITH ALL THE POISONOUS HAMSTERS HE HAD TO CORRAL AND THE MANNEQUINS OF GUARDS HE HAD TO ORDER?
SNIPING PEOPLE HAS SOMEHOW COST ME MY HONOR. I AM A DOG.
NAH.
THANKS, I APPRECIATE THAT. YOU REALLY LOOK LIKE BIG BOSS BY THE WAY.
THANKS FOR NOT KILLING MERYL.
THANKS FOR KILLING ME.
OH GOD NOOOOOO I LOVED YOU1!!
DO I KNOW YOU? BRING ME MY GUN, STRANGE NERD WHO JUST APPEARED OVER THERE
RIGHT AWAY SOB SOB
KAY I CAN DIE NOW
GOTCHA
GOODBYE WOLF AND THE EIGHT DOZEN CHILDREN WE WERE GOING TO HAVE TOGETHER ;_____;
WELL THAT'S DONE ANYWAY.
SNAKE YOU SAID LOVE COULD BLOOM ON A BATTLEFIELD, BUT SOMEHOW SHE STILL DIED!! I COULDN'T SAVE HER!!!
...YOU WERE TALKING ABOUT HER? OH.
WELL ANYWAY SHE CAN HAVE HER HANDKERCHIEF BACK. I CAN'T CRY ANYMORE, BECAUSE I'M SO DEAD AND BITTER INSIDE. SO DEAD. SO BITTER.
I CAN CRY FOR THE BOTH OF US!
::DOES SO::
WELL IT'S UP TO US NOW. TRY NOT TO GET YOURSELF KILLED.
I WANNA KEEP HELPING.
GLAD YOU'RE NOT HOLDING THE WHOLE SHOOTING YOUR GIRLFRIEND THING AGAINST ME. BYE.
HEY SNAKE WHAT ARE YOU FIGHTING FOR? WHAT WAS SHE FIGHTING FOR? WHAT AM I FIGHTING FOR?!
IDK
...K :(
HEY SNAKE NAOMI'S A SPY
NO!
VULCAN RAVEN: SUP
HI
RAVENS ARE AWESOME. LET'S FIGHT.
THE RAVEN ON YOUR HEAD JUST LANDED ON MY SHOULDER AND NOW I CAN'T MOVE. OKAY, MAYBE THIS IS GETTING WEIRDER THAN ZANZIBAR LAND.
LET'S FIGHT! IT WILL BE AWESOME.
FIGHTING IS JUST MURDERING!
MAYBE.
OW REMOTE CONTROLLED MISSILES MY ONE WEAKNESS. OR LANDMINES, LANDMINES WORK TOO.
JUST LIKE LIQUID SAID, I'M THE ONE THAT'S NOT NEEDED ANYMORE.
WOW, LIQUID'S KIND OF A DOUCHE.
HERE HAVE A KEYCARD. BY THE WAY THE DARPA CHIEF WAS ACTUALLY DECOY OCTOPUS.
...AND?
DECOY OCTOPUS MIMICS PEOPLE RIGHT DOWN TO THE BLOOD, SO HE DRAINED ALL OF THE DARPA CHIEF'S BLOOD AND PUT IT IN HIMSELF.
...OW, OW MY BRAIN
BRB, GETTING EATEN BY RAVENS
HAUNTED BY THE CORPSES OF THOSE I'VE KILLED FOREVER, PFFT.
SO YEAH NAOMI'S A SPY
NO WAY
YES WAY
ARREST HER IMMEDIATELY!
WTF IS GOING ON
I AM DEFINITELY NOT LYING TO YOU ABOUT EVERYTHING!
I AM GETTING REALLY TIRED OF THIS. >:(
HEY SNAKE KNOCK KNOCK
HAHAHAHAHA LET'S FIRE A NUKE
K
AT CHINA!!! POLITICS AND INTRIGUE WILL GET ME MY BILLION DOLLARS AND BIG BOSS'S BODY!
BUT I BURNED HIM TO ASHES WITH A RAINBOW FLAMETHROWER!
DID YOU HEAR SOMETHING
ANYWAY I ALSO WANT THE FOXDIE VACCINE THAT KILLED BAKER AND DECOY OCTOPUS SO I ADDED THAT. I THINK WE'RE GOING TO STAY HERE FOR A WHILE.
K, IF YOU SAY SO.
I'M GOING TO CALL IT OUTER HEAVEN.
K
>:(
BUT WHAT IF SNAKE OVERRIDES THE MISSILE, RUINING ALL OUR PLANS?
WE'LL JUST HAVE TO HOPE THAT SNAKE DOESN'T INPUT THE CARD KEYS, RUINING ALL OUR PLANS.
GOT IT.
HEY SNAKE THAT KEY IS ACTUALLY THREE KEYS AT ONCE AND YOU CAN ONLY USE IT ONCE, AND IF THINGS ARE INACTIVE IT ACTIVATES THEM AND IF ITS ACTIVE IT DEACTIVATES IT.
THAT'S THE STUPIDEST THING I'VE EVER HEARD.
IT CHANGES SHAPE ACCORDING TO TEMPERATURE!
>:(
I WANT A THING THAT CHANGES SHAPE AT DIFFERENT TEMPERATURES. :(
HEY YOU!
WOOPS
DIE!!!
AFTER I GET THIS KEY OKAY
OKAY WHATEVER, PUT IN ONE KEY. BACKTRACKING. >:(
LOL
HEY SNAKE NAOMI DESIGNED A VIRAL WEAPON CALLED FOXDIE THAT TARGETS SPECIFIC PEOPLE BY THEIR DNA PATTERNS
THAT'S IMPOSSIBLE.
I'M PRETTY SURE YOU'RE INFECTING PEOPLE WITH IT.
>:(
WELL WE JUST ARRESTED HER, SO THERE'S THAT.
BACKTRACKING! >:(
HEY SNAKE
WHAT DO YOU WANT?
FRANK JAEGER WAS MY ADOPTED BIG BROTHER AND HE SAVED MY LIFE AFTER MY PARENTS DIED AND RAISED ME AND THEN YOU WENT AND PUNCHED HIM TO DEATH IN A MINE FIELD, AND THAT'S WHY I HATE YOU SO VERY MUCH.
OH.
AND BIG BOSS ALSO SAVED ME AND THEN YOU HAD TO GO KILL HIM TOO. JERK.
SO YOU WANTED TO KILL ME THEN.
SURE DID. ALTHOUGH I DON'T HATE YOU AS MUCH AS I USED TO FOR SOME REASON.
WELL THAT'S GREAT, REALLY. DID YOU PROGRAM FOXDIE TO KILL ME TOO?
IT WASN'T MY DECISION TO USE IT.
THAT'S NOT AN ANSWER.
THE REAL SECRET IS-
YOU'RE UNDER ARREST!!!
YOU TRICKED ME COLONEL!
MAYBE I DID! AND MAYBE METAL GEAR WILL BLOW UP THE WORLD IF YOU DON'T DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT, SO CHOP CHOP!
>:(
ALRIGHT WHATEVER. SECOND KEY IN. THIRD KEY IN.
NUKE: I'M ACTIVE!!!
OH MY GOD HOW DID THIS HAPPEN
HAHAHAHAHA YOU'RE KIND OF STUPID AREN'T YOU.
THAT'S NOT MASTER MILLER!
NO, REALLY?!?!
HAHA, I'M ACTUALLY LIQUID! FOOLED YOU!
:O
HA HA HA HA, YOU IDIOT
I'LL KILL YOU
LET ME EXPLAIN MY PLAN FIRST
OKAY
YOU'RE BASICALLY JUST A VECTOR FOR FOXDIE. THE PENTAGON USED NAOMI TO DO IT. BUT THEN SHE CHANGED IT AT THE END, BUT WE DON'T KNOW HOW. HOW MYSTERIOUS. WE MIGHT NOT NEED A VACCINE ANYWAY THOUGH CAUSE I'M STILL ALIVE AND YOU'RE STILL ALIVE AND WE HAVE THE SAME GENES.
WHY WON'T YOU SHUT UP ABOUT THIS GENE THING
WE'RE BIG BOSS'S CHILDREN AND I GOT ALL THE INFERIOR RECESSIVE GENES AND I AM VERY ANGRY ABOUT THIS, SNAKE.
...THAT'S NOT HOW GENES WORK.
I HATE BIG BOSS SO MUCH FOR TELLING ME I WAS INFERIOR MY ENTIRE LIFE, AND THEN YOU WENT AND KILLED HIM BEFORE I COULD! SO NOW I'M GOING TO DO WHAT FATHER COULDN'T AND MAKE OUTER HEAVEN SO I CAN SHOW HIM UP FROM BEYOND THE GRAVE!
WHAT IS WRONG WITH PEOPLE HERE, I SWEAR TO GOD.
NOW I'M GOING TO SQUISH YOU INTO PASTE!!
RARRRRR
OH GOD OTACON WHAT DO I DO
I SPECIFICALLY PROGRAMMED A WEAKNESS INTO IT!
WELL THAT'S NICE AND ALL BUT WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT
I LIKE TO THINK OF IT AS A CHARACTER FLAW. PEOPLE AREN'T COMPLETE WITHOUT A CHARACTER FLAW, DON'T YOU THINK? :3 <-- OTACON YOU'RE SUCH A DORK
>:/
LIQUID: STOMP STOMP
D:
HEY SUP LET ME STOP REX FOR A BIT
FOX!!
GTFO BEFORE YOU DIE
DUDE WHAT IS YOUR DEAL
I KILLED NAOMI'S PARENTS. PLEASE TELL HER THIS FOR ME.
ARE YOU TWO DONE
I'LL STOP IT FROM MOVING!
OH GOD OW
HAHAHAHAHAHA WE HUNT JACKALS INSTEAD OF FOXES! AND WE USE ROYAL HARRIERS INSTEAD OF FOXHOUNDS!
ARE YOU MOCKING HIM, WHAT IS THAT SUPPOSED TO EVEN MEAN
A CORNERED FOX IS MORE DANGEROUS THAN A JACKAL!
I'M MISSING SOMETHING HERE.
I'LL KILL YOU.
I'VE STOPPED HIM, FIRE THE STINGER AT US!
I CAN'T DO IT!
YOU PUNCHED ME TO DEATH IN A MINEFIELD, FIRE THE STINGER!
NO. :(
GOD#$#@IT SNAKE.
DIIIIIIIE
HEY SNAKE, FIGHT FOR WHAT YOU BELIEVE IN OKAY
::SQUISH::
FOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOX
WHATTA MAROON. YOU CAN'T PROTECT ANYONE SNAKE, YOU SUCK.
NO STINGERS MY ONE WEAKNESS
POW
HEY SNAKE I'M STILL ALIVE
WHAT HAPPENED TO MY CLOTHES
METAL GEAR MIGHT HAVE KAPOWED BUT I'M STILL GOING TO PLUNGE THE WORLD INTO ETERNAL WAR, JUST LIKE FATHER WANTED!
I THOUGHT YOU HATED HIM, AND SERIOUSLY WHERE IS MY SHIRT
YOU WANT THAT WORLD TOO SNAKE
NO
YOU LOVE KILLING PEOPLE
LIES
WE'RE FATHER'S CLONES BECAUSE THEY WANTED TO RECREATE THE GREATEST SOLDIER EVER. WE WERE MADE USING THE SUPER BABY METHOD AND WE KILLED OUR OTHER SIX BROTHERS EVEN BEFORE WE WERE BORN! AND THEN THEY GAVE YOU ALL THE DOMINANT GENES AND ME ALL THE RECESSIVE GENES!!
NOTHING YOU ARE SAYING IS COMING EVEN CLOSE TO MAKING SENSE.
THE GULF WAR SYNDROME WAS PEOPLE BEING INJECTED WITH FATHER'S SOLDIER GENES!
MY GOD JUST STOP TALKING
I'M GOING TO BREAK THE CHAINS OF MY GENETIC HERITAGE AND RISE ABOVE THEM! BY KILLING YOU! LET'S HAVE A FISTFIGHT ON TOP OF REX HERE.
NO REALLY WHERE IS MY SHIRT
THERE'S YOUR MERYL OVER THERE. SHE KEPT CALLING YOUR NAME, THE LOSER. YOU DON'T HAVE A NAME.
YES I DO.
NO YOU DON'T WE'RE JUST COPIES OF BIG BOSS AJRUSAHFHAGSAJG
CAMPBELL WTF IS GOING ON
HELP THEY'RE TAKING ME HOSTAGE AND THEY WERE USING MERYL TO MANIPULATE ME AND THEY'RE GOING TO BOMB YOU INTO BITS TO HIDE THE EVIDENCE AAA
SECRETARY OF DEFENSE JIM HOUSEMAN: YOU'RE ALL GOING TO DIE.
MY GOD IT'S ABRAHAM LINCOLN!
ALL OF YOU, DEAD.
DON'T YOU CARE?!
THE DARPA CHIEF IS DEAD AND MY HEART IS FOREVER BROKEN, SO NO.
FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT!!
GOD.
HWAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH
GRRRRRRRRRRRGHHH
*PLUNGES OFF THE EDGE* SNAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAKE
~*~*END OF ACT 2~*~*
WHAT WILL HAPPEN TO OUR HEROES NOW?!
STAY IN YOUR SEAT FOR OUR EXCITING CONCLUSION!