Saiyuki: Happy Fucking Journey
1.Package
It takes the average youkai 3.46 seconds to realize that it isn’t the Maten sutra they should be worried about-it’s the man carrying it.
2.Obscure
The first time they reach a village and find that tales of their exploits have preceded them, Sanzo flies into a rage that nearly puts Seiten Taisei to shame; the very thought of being revered fills him with such disgust that he wants to kill everything in sight just to make the feeling go away.
3.Skeleton
“Let’s hear it,” Sanzo says irritably, “because if we have to stop one more time because one of you morons forgot to mention yet another homicidal fucking skeleton in your closet, I will kill you all and go to India by myself.”
4.Nurse
Sanzo dreams of Koumyou Sanzo tending his childhood cuts and scrapes and wakes to find Hakkai wrapping a bandage over his latest collection of youkai claw marks; he almost tears his stitches out of spite.
5.Domino
Sanzo looks ahead to the West, then behind to his companions; he thinks of inevitability and what it will take to make them fall.
6.Thaw
Goku calls Sanzo his sun, and Sanzo calls Goku a stupid, blind monkey; Sanzo’s kept himself locked in ice since he left Kinzan Temple, it was Goku’s relentlessly burning presence that first caused his protective shell to crack.
7.Waves
“Minus Wave,” Sanzo thinks with disgust, “who did they think they were going to fool with that name?”
8.Burglar
Sanzo has little patience for thieves, and even less for those who allow themselves to fall victim to someone else’s greed.
9.Frame
It’s not the monkey’s voice or the way he seems so stupidly happy to not be alone anymore that makes Sanzo take him out of the cage; he just wants to get one good look at him without those stone bars in the way before he beats the little idiot to a pulp.
10.Carpet
The stupid, leering idiot gets as far as “So does the car-“ before Sanzo starts shooting.
11.Insect
He may be an insect among giants, but Sanzo is not now, nor will he ever be willing to be crushed underneath anyone’s heel.
12.Mentor
Sanzo is willing to be an enemy, an ally-in his weakest moments, he’s even willing to be a friend-but he will never, ever be anyone’s mentor.
13.Spirit
Sanzo’s never believed that his master’s spirit still watches over him, but that may just be wishful thinking on his part, because he doesn’t want his master to see him like this.
14.Wax
The monks at the temple want to turn Sanzo into some sort of wax figure of a priest, all perfect and unchanging and everything he’ll never be.
15.Trash
Sanzo’s never deluded himself into thinking that they’re on this journey because they’re something special; the end result is already decided, so there’s no need to send the best, and any expendable errand boy will do.
16.Womb
Genjo Sanzo was born in blood, pain, tragedy and death; he has no intention of being kind or gentle to a world that clearly doesn’t deserve it.
17.Burn
Sanzo has already decided that he will burn out when he’s good and ready, and not one second before.
18.Flash
In the beginning, Sanzo expected to be blinded by the muzzle flash every time he fired his gun, but he eventually outgrew the need for self-punishment.
19.Anima
Kouryuu died the night his master was cut down while defending him; his soulless body wandered aimlessly through a hopeless mission until Genjo Sanzo came to life within it.
20.Gamble
Sanzo only gambles with things he can afford to lose, a list that is growing smaller the longer he refuses to look at it.
21.Statue
No one’s ever going to put up a statue in his honor, and Sanzo’s just fine with that.
22.Perfume
Kouryuu once secretly loved the smell of incense, but the scent of blood and gunpowder is all the perfume Sanzo will ever need.
23.Wine
There’s something to be said for an inn with a good wine cellar after a long day of thwarted attempts to rid himself of the two annoyances in the back seat.
24.Reflection
Sanzo doesn’t hate seeing his reflection a mirror, he hates seeing it in another person; one of him is all he’ll tolerate, thank you.
25.Take
Sanzo wears his sutra across his shoulders like a dare, like a warning, like a promise.
26.Magic
The Maten sutra isn’t just magic, it’s pure power; the way it comes to life at Sanzo’s command is the worst kind of seduction he’s ever known.
27.Fragment
Goku learns early on that Sanzo leaves pieces of himself wherever he goes, so he decides to never let Sanzo go anywhere alone.
28.Cats and Dogs
Sanzo has never seen cats and dogs fight the way Goku and Gojyo do, but then he supposes “monkeys and kappas” doesn’t have the same ring to it.
29.Hum
Goku hums to himself when he’s especially happy-just odd, tuneless, frequently off-key little ditties that make no sense to anyone but himself; on the rare occasions when he’s being completely honest with himself, Sanzo thinks that he would miss those songs if they ever went away.
30.Flinch
Sanzo doesn’t bother to flinch at people who try to kill him-he’s got better things to do with his time than being afraid.
31.Rush
There’s no other rush quite like the one Sanzo gets when he hears that infernal kappa screaming in pain.
32.Jester
“Goku,” Sanzo says calmly as he reaches for his gun, “I don’t know what you’ve been up to for the last hour, but you and your little gay, rainbow-colored court jester friend have exactly thirty seconds to be anywhere but here-starting now.”
33.Haven
There is no paradise at the end of this trip through hell, no safe haven along the way; it doesn’t matter, because Sanzo isn’t planning on stopping anyway.
34.Dusk
Sanzo’s favorite time of day-if he ever admitted to having such a thing-would be dusk, when the light is fading, but before the darkness swallows everything.
35.Chord
Sanzo, as a rule, cares little for music; he knows the price of getting distracted, and as far as he’s concerned, he’s paid more than enough already.
36.Indulgence
Hakkai claims Sanzo indulges his vengeful side a little too often; Sanzo just smirks and asks “So, who was it that told me to go out and have fun, again?”
37.Freezer
“You are the only animal I know of that can get frostbite in the middle of summer, you bottomless pit!”
38.Passage
Sanzo’s absolutely certain that he would never take a quick, easy way to India, even if one existed-he doesn’t intend to leave this mission with any lingering obligations attached to him.
39.Coast
Sanzo’s never seen the ocean, but as often as he finds himself standing on the precipice of something, he’s starting to think maybe he doesn’t need to do it again.
40.Keepsake
Sanzo doesn’t defend the sutra because it used to belong to his master, he defends it because it now belongs to him.
41.Morbid
“Sanzo, you’re the only person I know who would ever find such a beautiful, sunny day to be morbid.”
42.Shipwreck
“You mean ‘train wreck,’ moron,” Sanzo snarls while trying to dodge fireballs and reload at the same time, “and if you just now figured that out-!”
43.Socks
Teaching Goku the concept of wearing socks turns into an unexpected disaster that nearly leads to the entire temple being burned to the ground-it’s the first time Sanzo’s ever felt this proud of anyone in his life.
44.Sand
They’re in the middle of a fucking desert, Kougaiji and Dokugakuji have shown up out of fucking nowhere, everyone’s decided to die without his permission and he’s got sand in places he doesn’t even want to think about, but the most annoying thing to Sanzo is that he has to clean up the whole damn mess yet again.
45.Coin
Sanzo says he doesn’t believe in chance, but the truth is that he isn’t willing to give even an abstract concept that much control over his life.
46.Guile
Goku is the most idiotic child Sanzo’s ever met-and he’s never pretended to be anything else, which is why he has a place at Sanzo’s side for as long as he wants it.
47.Eyelash
Sanzo doesn’t remember every single time he’s come within a hairsbreadth of dying any more than he remembers every single time the sun’s managed to come up on the right side of the sky-what would be the point of that?
48.Drive
There’s only one way to handle the their version of a peaceful Sunday drive-shut up, hang on, and hurry up and reload before the next wave comes; luckily, Sanzo’s something of an expert at all of that.
49.Net
“If you think you’re throwing that thing on me, you’ve got another think coming, bastards,” Sanzo acerbically informs two very misguided youkai standing in the branches over his head with a net.
50.Destination
Their final destination on this journey isn’t really India and these days, Sanzo just isn’t in a hurry to reach the end.