If Only I Had...Chapter 12
Title: If Only I Had...(Chapter 12/20)
Author: Yuki
Pairing: RyoShige
Rating: PG-13
Genre: AU, Romance, Supernatural, Angst
Warnings: Violence/Abuse in chapters 1-6
Summary: Losing a loved one is one of the most difficult things to live with and we always wish for a way to bring that person back. However, there are some times when that person is better off dead. After all, some reunions aren't always so sweet.
Previous Chapters:
( Chapter 1 )
( Chapter 2 )
( Chapter 3 )
( Chapter 4 )
( Chapter 5 )
( Chapter 6 )
( Chapter 7 )
( Chapter 8 )
( Chapter 9 )
( Chapter 10 )
( Chapter 11 )
>
Chapter 12: Comfort and Confrontation
Part One: Rays of Sun
Jiro:
When I stepped into Asami’s hospital room this morning, she immediately told me that she wanted to see the sun. And so here we are, on a bench in the sitting area outside with the freshly risen sun shining upon us. She is wearing a sweater to keep warm and those around us are being pushed in wheelchairs or participating in a game of chess. I always used to think that long-time stays in hospitals should be reserved for people who have lived long lives, not for those whose lives have just begun.
It doesn’t work like that. Life isn’t so black and white that you are born and you die of old age. Even the brightest of spirits can be assigned to a body that cannot withstand the wear and tear of living to a ripe old age.
Her head is resting on my right shoulder as she usually does to people whom she feels close to. That’s what she told me anyway.
She stretches an arm over towards where the ocean can be seen. “I can see the ocean from my room. It makes me think of you and Ryo-chan.” I reach over and drape the blanket we brought over her legs as she continues. “It helps me because I don’t have my garden.”
“You miss it?”
“Yeah. But instead I think of how happy I have been since I met Ryo-chan.”
She tells me that she has always wanted to go to a dance with a disco ball that reflects small dots of light across the floors and walls. I never realized how much she wanted it until now and I am thankful that she was able to experience it. She says that she wanted to sing and Ryo helped her write and perform a song. She wanted to find someone to stay with her and she gained so many after meeting Ryo. She feels loved by people around her age and that is what she has been wanting. In a way I owe Ryo for making Asami smile so widely as she explains in detail each little thing she has been able to do because of him.
When she finishes, I am suddenly afraid. This conversation has had such a tone of finality to it that I am desperate for her to tell me more, tell me about things she still wants to do because it’s not enough yet. She deserves so many more dreams to come true.
“Don’t you want anything else?”
“I want to record.”
“Hmm?”
She sits up straight and I look at her beautiful but pale face. “I want to record the song. Ryo-chan can play the guitar in my room and we can record the song! That way…” she trails off and her face falls. “I’m being selfish, aren’t I?”
“No. Not at all.”
No matter what it takes, I will make sure her wish comes true.
Part Two: Confrontation
Shige:
I open my eyes and take in the empty sky blue colored room. The window is open slightly and the white curtains are fluttering in the breeze. The warmth of Ryo’s hand on mine has disappeared, not that I truly expected him to stay until morning.
Nurses come and go to tend to my arm. “You’re doing just fine, Kato-san,” they say in sweet voices. I feel worn out and sick and it takes quite an effort to swallow the food they gave me.
Aside from the shuffling sounds of the nurses’ shoes and the occasional hallway conversation, it is painfully quiet.
It’s lonely, and just as I begin to wonder why no one is coming to see me, I hear a mess of familiar voices - Miya, Jun, Kimi, Haru and not only my parents but Ryo’s.
Of course, my parents barraged me first with teary eyed You’re okays and other questions about how I’m feeling, if I had any sleep and if I feel sick.
As happy as I am to see them, my eyes drift over to Ryo’s mother, who is dressed nicely in a lavender sweater and a white skirt. I’ve never gotten to know his father well but aside from a few grey hairs, he is the same as I have always pictured him - stern and serious. He and my father were close but Ryo’s relationship with his father was rarely good enough for them to even be sitting at the same table together.
His mother, with her warm smiles and gentle voice, is the complete opposite of his father. During the times Ryo would come to me after a falling out between them, he always mentioned how hard it was to approach him. I hold so many secrets, including one that will forever change their lives.
“Shigeaki-kun,” his mother says with a smile. “How are you feeling?”
She walks over and places a warm palm on my cheek.
“I’m fine.” I look into her dark brown eyes fully and I want to tell her. I want to say that she doesn’t have to hurt anymore because her son is alive. Instead, I say, “Thank you for coming.”
When my mother takes my hand, I know what she is about to ask. “Sweetheart,” she begins. “Will you tell us why this happened? Are you in trouble with someone?”
“No,” I say immediately to erase that worry from her mind. “I was protecting a friend.”
All four turn to where my friends are standing innocently in the back of the room. “Not them,” I correct. “You don’t know him.”
My mother brings my hand up to her cheek. “If you were willing to put your life in danger to protect this friend, shouldn’t we know about him?”
She does know about Ryo. He sat at our dining room table and ate with us, watched shows on TV with us and my mother always used to say how sweet he was as he helped her prepare dinner. But I cannot tell her that that same Ryo is the one whom I would do anything to protect, including taking a bullet for him last night. Instead, I mutter “Jiro,”
but after I say it, I realize that I haven’t dodged the problem but only caused more suspicion.
“Tamahori Jiro?” My mom asks and I briefly glance at the changed expressions on Ryo’s parents’ faces. “I know you don’t want to hear this but if he has someone against him like that, it’s probably best if you stay away from him.”
“I can’t,” I reply and my mom squeezes my hand.
“Is it because of the resemblance?”
My eyes meet Jun’s and we both know that I am slowly but surely backing myself into a corner. “Maybe you should tell them,” he suggests and I realize that the only one in the room who is still trying to hold on to this secret is me.
“He told me he isn’t ready,” I argue.
“Lies only create more lies, Shige. He’ll understand, trust me.”
Suspicious gazes are piercing into me and I feel myself breaking under the pressure. I can’t lie to them anymore, not after everything they’ve been through. I’m sorry, Ryo.
I sigh in defeat. “It’s not just a resemblance.”
Ryo’s mother shakes her head. “What do you mean?”
I swallow and search for some source of strength. “Ryo’s alive.”
They are silent and the confusion from my sudden statement is written on their faces.
“Is this some kind of joke?” his father asks angrily.
“No,” I reply and I know they don’t believe me. I didn’t really expect them to.
“Honey…” my mom intervenes.
Ryo’s father steps forward and his stare is intimidating, just as I have always imagined. “We sent him down the river with our own hands. I removed the necklace myself.”
“I know.” Those images are still as clear as crystal in my mind. “His body was stolen, revived and taken over by Jiro’s spirit. I wouldn’t lie about this.”
With the help of the others, I explain the details of how we found out and what Ryo’s situation is. His mother is crying and my parents are in shock. I don’t know what his father is thinking. I can’t read him. Obviously when he believes it, he will be happy but I think he is still in denial and I don’t blame him. It’s not everyday that the dead come back to life. After a few minutes, Jun goes over to my parents and offers to tell them about what happened the night before at the party. They acknowledge me and leave the room, probably sensing that Ryo’s parents need some space.
Ryo’s father is trying to comfort his wife and when the room is mostly empty he looks into my eyes.
“Why are we just finding out about this now?”
“I’m sorry,” is all I can manage. His voice is soaked with anger and betrayal and I don’t know what else to say.
I look over to the doorway and see Ryo leaning against the frame. “Don’t apologize, Shige,” he says and his parents look at him in shock. “I was the one who didn’t tell them.”
“Ryo…?” his mother asks gently and he walks over to the front of my bed towards where they are sitting.
“Yes,” he says and moments later the two are standing in front of him as if they’ve seen a ghost.
Ryo’s mother weeps tears of happiness and he is looking at her with eyes filled with longing. His father grabs hold of his shoulders and shakes him slightly. “This isn’t a joke, right?”
“No,” Ryo replies but he doesn’t make eye contact with his father.
“Why didn’t you tell us?” his father continues. He must be shocked out of his mind and that transfers an even stronger tone of anger to his words. “You should have come to us.”
Ryo can’t even look at him and it breaks my heart to watch. “I didn’t want to tell you. I couldn’t tell you until I was sure of things,” Ryo says in a shaky voice and a tear rolls down his cheek. He’s so vulnerable and I wish I could hold him, comfort him but there is nothing I can do for him right now. “I didn’t want you to see me like this. I may look okay now but when I came back here, I had to look at the town knowing that I was no longer a part of it.”
His mother continues to sob and his father’s face softens, though Ryo cannot see it.
“There were so many things I forced myself to give up and I was in one of the darkest places I’ve ever been in. I was scared and I didn’t want you to see me like that.”
His father drops an arm to his side and wipes away a few tears from his eyes with the other. His mother wraps her arms around Ryo, sobbing even more loudly and saying how much she loves him and that she can’t believe he’s back but Ryo doesn’t return the embrace. He’s crying and hurting and I know there is a reason he is so stiff.
“After betraying you so many times, I didn’t want to hurt you again. I wanted to tell you when I was fully happy so that you didn’t have to see the pain I have been through.”
He releases himself from her grasp and takes a few steps away. “I thought that holding it in until then would be the one thing I have done that would make you two happy.”
“No, no…” his mother repeats and shakes her head.
“I didn’t want to hurt you two anymore,” he almost yells in response.
The fear is written on their faces as they watch him walk towards the door.
“Son,” his father calls out but does not face him and Ryo turns to him with tears in his eyes. He does not continue and instead his wife says, “Come home with us tonight. I will get your bed ready for you, okay?”
Even though Ryo decided even before I met him to walk on his own path, he’s always been desperate for his father to not only accept him but also be happy with who he is as a person. Any spectator could see how broken their relationship is - how his father doesn’t know what to say and how Ryo is begging for him to say anything at all.
Ryo leaves and moments later his father finally turns to reveal the tears streaming down his cheeks. “You belong at home,” he says but it is too late.
His mother falls to the floor in tears and he tries as best as he can to comfort her. I want to know where Ryo is going, if he’s okay, but I shouldn’t chase after him in this condition. Even if I could, what would I say?
Part Three: Home
Ryo:
Here I am, leaning against a brick wall and smoking about a block from the hospital. I wasn’t ready for them to know. Things are too delicate in my life right now. I just got back together with Shige and he was shot and is now in the hospital, I feel Jiro’s pain, guilt or whatever else he’s feeling at the moment, Asami is fading before our eyes and who knows what Ara will do next for to satisfy her feelings of vengeance. Now on top of all of that, my parents are upset with me because I didn’t tell them sooner. It’s too much.
I don’t blame Shige for telling them. He wouldn’t have done so if he had another choice and I understand that. I just don’t know how I am supposed to deal with the aftermath.
It takes longer than it should with all of the times I thought about turning around, but I reach my house just as my parents are about to open the door. My mother sees me first, hugs me and tells me that she will make me a cup of tea because I must be exhausted. I am, but so is she.
My room hasn’t changed at all and it seems like my mom has kept it clean even after I died. All of this time I thought they would have packed up my things like Shige had done but everything is the way I left it. I guess they never let me go.
This room holds so many memories of a time when things were so simple and the biggest worry I had was whether or not Shige and I would be caught as we made out on my bed. I realize now why my parents left everything this way. They too could look around and see the times when things were easier.
In a literal sense, I should be happy that I have a bed to sleep in now. But the thing that gives me a sense of comfort is that I have something for myself. Before, I wore Jiro’s clothes, slept in his bed, ate his food off of his plates and showered with his soap. Now, I will have control over those things for the most part because Jiro’s cash is running out and so he has nowhere else to go. Being able to have a say in such small things like these gives me a sense of empowerment over him.
My mom brings me a cup of tea and I say nothing as I bring the mug to my lips and cautiously drink the hot liquid. She neatly fixes my bed with fresh sheets and gives me some money to buy necessities. Just these simple actions erase my insecurity around her and for the first time, I go over to her and hug her and tell her how much I have missed her.
Afterwards, she wipes a tear from her eyes. “Mom has been crying so much today,” she says with a smile so that I will not worry. “When you come home you can take a shower and we’ll have dinner together.”
---
The feeling hits me once again when I enter the drug store and realize that I haven’t bought anything for myself in over three years.
The selection isn’t great but they still carry the shampoo and soap I used to use. I pick up a few more necessities such as a toothbrush and shaver and leave the store. Jiro has most of these things, but now that I have the chance, I’d rather have my own. With the money left over, I buy a pair of jeans and a t-shirt to wear tonight and I gather up Jiro’s things from the hotel and check out at the desk.
It’s strange to do all of these things for myself and it is something I will have to get used to. With all of that said, I am fully aware that Jiro is not going to let me do this everyday. I’ll be able to sleep at home but he will probably spend most of the day with Asami in the hospital. Either way, I feel like I am more in control now and that I am not living someone else’s life.
---
When I walk back into my house, I see my father chopping vegetables on the counter and my mother is setting the table, being particular about every detail and making sure that things are perfect.
It feels nice to shower after going through the day smelling like a mixture of a hospital and smoke. When I step into my bedroom, I change into the clothes I bought before digging through the suitcases until I discover the glove and I slip it over my arm to cover the scars.
I didn’t even ask Shige how he was feeling today.
---
When I sit down to dinner, my mom does everything she can to make it go well and somewhere deep down I appreciate it. But with the mechanical, hesitant movements, awkward silence and things I cannot say, it doesn’t feel real. I know they have just been given the shock of their lives and are trying to deal with it silently, but their feelings are even clearer to me this way. We have been living apart and it doesn’t feel like I’m a part of this anymore.
Halfway through, my mom reaches over and touches the glove. “What is this?” she asks curiously.
“It’s to cover the scars on my arm.”
“Scars?”
I nod and swallow the food in my mouth. “Cigarette burns,” I say and I can see the hurt in her eyes. “Jiro went through a phase where he burnt himself when he was upset.”
“Oh honey…”
“He doesn’t do it anymore,” I interrupt. “Shige made this for me so I don’t have to see them.”
“It must have made it easier to have him around,” she says with a smile but she has no idea how much he has helped me.
“I can’t hide myself from him. I need him and he is there.”
“That’s what friends are for, right?” she says and returns her focus to eating the rest of her dinner.
I stare at her, wanting to tell her the truth but I am afraid of what will happen if I do. Quickly I glance over to my father and for the first time our eyes meet. It doesn’t last long, it never does. What will he say if he knows?
I am torn between wanting their acceptance and wanting them to know the secret that I don’t want to hide anymore. I’m in love with Shige and that isn’t going to change.
It isn’t the right time but it’s all or nothing. If I am to come back here and live with them, open my heart to them, I want to know that they accept who I am first. I’ve been living a lie for way too long and I’m sick of it.
“He’s not just a friend, mom,” I say and my hands begin to tremble, not knowing how any of this will go.
She smiles obliviously. “Okay, your best friend.”
“No.” I look to my father. “I mean, he’s more than that.”
“You sound like you’re dating the guy,” my father says jokingly but when I don’t respond I think he realizes that I might not be joking.
“I am,” I say and he gives me the same look he did when I told him that I was switching into the music department.
“What?”
“Dating, as in I’m romantically involved. With a guy. Shige.”
The conversation is suddenly just between the two of us and even though my mom tries to tell me to talk about it later, I won’t back down. I’m not ashamed of it and he shouldn’t be either.
“Since when?”
“About 2 years after we met.”
He doesn’t look at me anymore and instead picks at the vegetables on his plate. “It was probably just a phase you went through back in those days. Your mother is right; we shouldn’t be having this conversation now anyway. We’re eating dinner and by some crazy circumstances our son is back with us. We should enjoy this as a new beginning.”
“It’s not a phase, dad.”
He raises an eyebrow. “You can’t be serious about this.”
“I’ve never been more serious in my life. He’s everything to me.”
He ignores me and I slam my chopsticks down on the table and my mom flinches. “Why can’t you just accept it?”
My mom takes my hand and tries to calm me down. “Honey, it’s okay. We can discuss this another time when we all adjust. This is all new.”
“How am I supposed to adjust when I am sitting here like a fucking reject again?” I respond angrily and my father shakes his head.
“I’m sorry, son. How else am I supposed to react after hearing such a thing?”
“You should at least hear me out.”
“That kind of thing doesn’t happen around here. It never even crossed my mind.”
“It’s who I am, dad. You’ve made it pretty clear that I’m a disappointment to you,” I say and suddenly everything that has been building up is starting to explode before my eyes and I am helpless to stop it. “You wanted me to be a successful businessman and I want to play the guitar. You want me to marry a beautiful bride and I’m in love with a guy. I can’t be who you want me to be.”
I stand up and it hurts to hear my mother crying again but I need to leave before it gets worse. I don’t even make it to the door before my mother’s arms are around me and she sits me on the bottom step. “Ryo, please don’t go. He doesn’t mean it when he says those things, he’s just in shock.”
“I’ll come back when he can get over it.”
“Don’t leave us again. Please. Mom understands.” She is holding on to me tightly and rocking back and forth slowly as if she never wants to let go. “Shigeaki-kun is a good child. If being with him makes you happy, then Mom is happy too, okay? This is your home, Ryo.”
Tears fall from my eyes as she continues. “No matter what you decide to do, I love you and you will always be the same to me.”
“I know, Mom. I need to go.”
As much as it hurts, I shut the door behind me and try to take my mind off of what just happened.
---
When I reach the hospital, it doesn’t take long for me to arrive at Shige’s room. He is eating dinner and judging from the look on his face, he’s forcing it down.
“Not very good?” I say from the doorway and he smiles at me.
“I’ve had worse, but I just don’t have much of an appetite today.”
I take a seat in the chair that is still pulled up close to his bed and take the fork from his hand to see how it tastes.
“No wonder. This chicken is tasteless.”
He grabs the fork from my hand and drops it on the plate. “You should be glad you don’t have to eat it then.”
I lick my lips and glance up to him only to see that he is staring at me. “What?”
“Have you been crying?”
“It’s nothing.”
He frowns and runs his thumb under my right eye. “Liar. Your eyes are all puffy. What happened?”
“The usual. I was beginning to feel somewhat comfortable at home again and at dinner I had an argument with my father, said some harsh words, my mother started crying and I left.”
“What did you argue about?” he asks and pushes the food around on the plate for a few moments before forcing himself to eat another bite.
“I told him about us.”
He brushes my bangs out of my face and shakes his head. “If you wanted to avoid an argument, that probably wasn’t the best route to take. Jumping right back into things doesn’t seem to work well. Look at what happened to us.”
“I should have waited, I know. I couldn’t. I’m so sick of pretending to be someone I’m not.”
“I know. Just give it time. Trust me, it’s a huge shock to see you alive again.”
“Shouldn’t they know everything?”
“It’s better to take it easy.”
“I’m still the same person. I just want to belong as a person and have somewhere to be.”
He takes hold of my hand. “I’m here.”
“I know, it’s just…I don’t want to hold anything in anymore.”
“Except the fact that Asami is sick,” he says, catching me off guard.
“How did you find out?”
“Jun mentioned it before. I wanted to know why a bullet was fired in the first place.”
“I didn’t know if she wanted anyone to know about it. I only mentioned it to Jun because it was obvious last night that something was wrong with her.”
He nods. “It’s okay, I get it.”
“How are you feeling today?”
“I feel bad about missing work. We were supposed to be making macaroni ornaments today.”
I can’t help but laugh and he frowns at me. “It’s my job to be excited about these things. Otherwise, the children might not be as enthusiastic.”
“What is a macaroni ornament anyway?”
“You must have made one when you were a child.”
I open my mouth to tell him that I don’t remember doing anything like that but I hear my mother’s voice instead. “You did,” she says but I can’t look at her, not after the way I left her.
My father is standing with her in the doorway and my mood is suddenly dampened once again.
I watch him as he walks over and puts a hand on Shige’s left shoulder and I think we are both shocked to see tears in his eyes. “You’ve always been such a good friend to our son. When I wasn’t being a good father, you were there. Like right now.”
He’s never apologized before, nor has he ever admitted that he was wrong. Instead, arguments have always ended with words like Fine, do what you want, where he said that I was wrong but he’d let me get away with it. Now, it seems like he might actually accept Shige as my boyfriend.
“You know how difficult he can be,” he says and Shige laughs. “But I hope you will continue to be there for him.”
“Seriously?” I ask.
He sighs. “I was sitting at the table for a half hour, just trying to sort things out. I don’t want you to think that I’m not happy to have you back.” It is strange to hear him talking to me like this. “You know that I’m not good with words, son, but when you were taken from us I regretted every day that our relationship was so bad. By trying my best to accept the two of you, I hope that you can see that I do love you.”
Shige squeezes my hand, knowing that those were the words I’ve been wanting to hear for too long. My father was stiff and awkward while saying it, but it is more than enough.
I don’t know what to say but “Thank you.”
He looks me in the eyes and smiles ever so slightly. “Your bed will be waiting for you when you come home, son.”
They leave and for the first time I feel like I can go home without worrying about being rejected by my family. I don’t have to hide from them anymore and I can go home after all of these years. That, more than anything, makes me realize how lucky I am to have been given a second chance.
---
Asami is asleep when I enter her room and I silently wonder if she has been lonely today. For about an hour I just sit here next to her hospital bed, watching her like I did with Shige last night. I can tell Jiro has missed her because just being like this makes his presence seem calmer, less noticeable. As much as I would like to hate him, there is a connection between the two of us. We feel each other’s emotions sometimes as our own and we end up doing things that will calm the other. Pain is the strongest, I have realized. When he aches for something, it hurts to the point where it feels like I am going crazy and I hate him like I would hate a person who is driving a nail into my chest. In those times, I think This isn’t my pain, I don’t want to feel like this. I want to be free of him. But I know that not only do I not have a choice, it is because of him I am able to live.
Back in the days when Shige was locked in the house, I hurt so badly for him and Jiro felt that. He channeled that pain into the beatings until he gave in to me for a few minutes. Sometimes it is so bad that we don’t have a choice.
Feeling each other’s emotions is probably the thing I hate most about being locked in this body with him. But it is also the thing I am most grateful for because as selfish as it sounds, it is what allows me to live.
---
When I come back to Shige’s room, he is completely engrossed in a TV program while eating some slices of pears.
“You say you don’t have an appetite yet every time I see you you’re eating.”
Without looking away from the TV screen, he says, “There’s nothing else to do. I’m bored.”
I steal a raspberry off of his plate and pop it into my mouth but it doesn’t get his attention.
“Why are you ignoring me?”
“It’s almost over, Ryo.”
As I look at him, I can’t help but realize how beautiful he is, even in a drab hospital gown.
I take his hand in mine and bring it up to my lips, keeping my focus on him as I kiss it softly. I slowly leave a trail of light kisses up his arm and when I get up to his elbow he takes his arm away and reaches for the remote. He shuts off the TV and smirks at me.
“Do you love my arm that much?”
“It’s the only place I can without hurting you,” I explain but he just shakes with soft laughter. “I’m being considerate.”
“You’re being paranoid.”
I sit on the bed next to him hesitantly. “I don’t want to do something wrong and have you screaming in pain for a nurse.”
“Just stay away from my right arm and it’s okay.”
I move closer to him on the bed and look over at the bandage. I feel him touch my cheek.
“Kiss me,” he says and I lean forward and I comply by kissing him softly on the lips.
It doesn’t matter that we’re in a hospital and that the staff might not like such a sight because I have been missing him and wanting him so badly since we were forced to part that night.
I pull away and he smiles. “You smell like you used to. You look more like yourself today too.”
I run my fingers over his cheek, knowing that this might be the only time we’ll be able to be like this for a while. “Did you miss it?”
He nods and kisses my thumb as I run it across his lips. “I did.”
“When you get out of here we can spend that time together. Until then I might not be able to see you that much if at all.”
He nods in understanding. “I’ll be fine.”
We kiss again, this time for much longer. His lips are as soft as always and his hand is gripped tightly on my shoulder.
“Ahem,” I hear a nurse say and Shige laughs as I fall back into my seat next to the bed.
Her voice suddenly perks up and she bounces over to Shige’s bed. “Did you like your fruit, Kato-san?” She’s young and seems a bit too interested as she twists from side to side with a soft smile.
“Very much, thank you.”
The young nurse takes the plate and glares at me. “Visiting hours are over in ten minutes.”
“I know,” I say and bow my head slightly in appreciation.
She gives me another dirty look and waves to Shige before leaving the room.
“She hates you,” Shige says, getting way too much amusement out of the past two minutes.
“More like she likes you,” I reply. “She should be fired.”
“For being nice?”
“Will she come in to fluff your pillow at night too?” I ask with sarcastic interest.
“She’s friendly to everyone.”
“Not to me.”
“She just saw us-“ he begins but I silence him with another kiss.
“Five minutes, sir!” the nurse calls from the hallway and I ignore her and continue the kiss until Shige pushes me away and smirks.
“Get some sleep.”
“You too.” I turn to leave but he grabs hold of my hand.
“I love you,” he says. Surprisingly, it is only the second time he’s said it to me and it feels so good to hear, especially after everything that has happened today. Until I see him again, of course I will think about him, want to be with him and wonder if he is doing okay, but when we are given that amount of time alone together, I won’t waste it. Two days might not seem like much, but I will use it to show him just how much he means to me.
End of Chapter 12
A/N: I hope everyone enjoyed this chapter. ^^; Next one will revolve around the "date". :)
Author: Yuki
Pairing: RyoShige
Rating: PG-13
Genre: AU, Romance, Supernatural, Angst
Warnings: Violence/Abuse in chapters 1-6
Summary: Losing a loved one is one of the most difficult things to live with and we always wish for a way to bring that person back. However, there are some times when that person is better off dead. After all, some reunions aren't always so sweet.
Previous Chapters:
( Chapter 1 )
( Chapter 2 )
( Chapter 3 )
( Chapter 4 )
( Chapter 5 )
( Chapter 6 )
( Chapter 7 )
( Chapter 8 )
( Chapter 9 )
( Chapter 10 )
( Chapter 11 )
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Chapter 12: Comfort and Confrontation
Part One: Rays of Sun
Jiro:
When I stepped into Asami’s hospital room this morning, she immediately told me that she wanted to see the sun. And so here we are, on a bench in the sitting area outside with the freshly risen sun shining upon us. She is wearing a sweater to keep warm and those around us are being pushed in wheelchairs or participating in a game of chess. I always used to think that long-time stays in hospitals should be reserved for people who have lived long lives, not for those whose lives have just begun.
It doesn’t work like that. Life isn’t so black and white that you are born and you die of old age. Even the brightest of spirits can be assigned to a body that cannot withstand the wear and tear of living to a ripe old age.
Her head is resting on my right shoulder as she usually does to people whom she feels close to. That’s what she told me anyway.
She stretches an arm over towards where the ocean can be seen. “I can see the ocean from my room. It makes me think of you and Ryo-chan.” I reach over and drape the blanket we brought over her legs as she continues. “It helps me because I don’t have my garden.”
“You miss it?”
“Yeah. But instead I think of how happy I have been since I met Ryo-chan.”
She tells me that she has always wanted to go to a dance with a disco ball that reflects small dots of light across the floors and walls. I never realized how much she wanted it until now and I am thankful that she was able to experience it. She says that she wanted to sing and Ryo helped her write and perform a song. She wanted to find someone to stay with her and she gained so many after meeting Ryo. She feels loved by people around her age and that is what she has been wanting. In a way I owe Ryo for making Asami smile so widely as she explains in detail each little thing she has been able to do because of him.
When she finishes, I am suddenly afraid. This conversation has had such a tone of finality to it that I am desperate for her to tell me more, tell me about things she still wants to do because it’s not enough yet. She deserves so many more dreams to come true.
“Don’t you want anything else?”
“I want to record.”
“Hmm?”
She sits up straight and I look at her beautiful but pale face. “I want to record the song. Ryo-chan can play the guitar in my room and we can record the song! That way…” she trails off and her face falls. “I’m being selfish, aren’t I?”
“No. Not at all.”
No matter what it takes, I will make sure her wish comes true.
Part Two: Confrontation
Shige:
I open my eyes and take in the empty sky blue colored room. The window is open slightly and the white curtains are fluttering in the breeze. The warmth of Ryo’s hand on mine has disappeared, not that I truly expected him to stay until morning.
Nurses come and go to tend to my arm. “You’re doing just fine, Kato-san,” they say in sweet voices. I feel worn out and sick and it takes quite an effort to swallow the food they gave me.
Aside from the shuffling sounds of the nurses’ shoes and the occasional hallway conversation, it is painfully quiet.
It’s lonely, and just as I begin to wonder why no one is coming to see me, I hear a mess of familiar voices - Miya, Jun, Kimi, Haru and not only my parents but Ryo’s.
Of course, my parents barraged me first with teary eyed You’re okays and other questions about how I’m feeling, if I had any sleep and if I feel sick.
As happy as I am to see them, my eyes drift over to Ryo’s mother, who is dressed nicely in a lavender sweater and a white skirt. I’ve never gotten to know his father well but aside from a few grey hairs, he is the same as I have always pictured him - stern and serious. He and my father were close but Ryo’s relationship with his father was rarely good enough for them to even be sitting at the same table together.
His mother, with her warm smiles and gentle voice, is the complete opposite of his father. During the times Ryo would come to me after a falling out between them, he always mentioned how hard it was to approach him. I hold so many secrets, including one that will forever change their lives.
“Shigeaki-kun,” his mother says with a smile. “How are you feeling?”
She walks over and places a warm palm on my cheek.
“I’m fine.” I look into her dark brown eyes fully and I want to tell her. I want to say that she doesn’t have to hurt anymore because her son is alive. Instead, I say, “Thank you for coming.”
When my mother takes my hand, I know what she is about to ask. “Sweetheart,” she begins. “Will you tell us why this happened? Are you in trouble with someone?”
“No,” I say immediately to erase that worry from her mind. “I was protecting a friend.”
All four turn to where my friends are standing innocently in the back of the room. “Not them,” I correct. “You don’t know him.”
My mother brings my hand up to her cheek. “If you were willing to put your life in danger to protect this friend, shouldn’t we know about him?”
She does know about Ryo. He sat at our dining room table and ate with us, watched shows on TV with us and my mother always used to say how sweet he was as he helped her prepare dinner. But I cannot tell her that that same Ryo is the one whom I would do anything to protect, including taking a bullet for him last night. Instead, I mutter “Jiro,”
but after I say it, I realize that I haven’t dodged the problem but only caused more suspicion.
“Tamahori Jiro?” My mom asks and I briefly glance at the changed expressions on Ryo’s parents’ faces. “I know you don’t want to hear this but if he has someone against him like that, it’s probably best if you stay away from him.”
“I can’t,” I reply and my mom squeezes my hand.
“Is it because of the resemblance?”
My eyes meet Jun’s and we both know that I am slowly but surely backing myself into a corner. “Maybe you should tell them,” he suggests and I realize that the only one in the room who is still trying to hold on to this secret is me.
“He told me he isn’t ready,” I argue.
“Lies only create more lies, Shige. He’ll understand, trust me.”
Suspicious gazes are piercing into me and I feel myself breaking under the pressure. I can’t lie to them anymore, not after everything they’ve been through. I’m sorry, Ryo.
I sigh in defeat. “It’s not just a resemblance.”
Ryo’s mother shakes her head. “What do you mean?”
I swallow and search for some source of strength. “Ryo’s alive.”
They are silent and the confusion from my sudden statement is written on their faces.
“Is this some kind of joke?” his father asks angrily.
“No,” I reply and I know they don’t believe me. I didn’t really expect them to.
“Honey…” my mom intervenes.
Ryo’s father steps forward and his stare is intimidating, just as I have always imagined. “We sent him down the river with our own hands. I removed the necklace myself.”
“I know.” Those images are still as clear as crystal in my mind. “His body was stolen, revived and taken over by Jiro’s spirit. I wouldn’t lie about this.”
With the help of the others, I explain the details of how we found out and what Ryo’s situation is. His mother is crying and my parents are in shock. I don’t know what his father is thinking. I can’t read him. Obviously when he believes it, he will be happy but I think he is still in denial and I don’t blame him. It’s not everyday that the dead come back to life. After a few minutes, Jun goes over to my parents and offers to tell them about what happened the night before at the party. They acknowledge me and leave the room, probably sensing that Ryo’s parents need some space.
Ryo’s father is trying to comfort his wife and when the room is mostly empty he looks into my eyes.
“Why are we just finding out about this now?”
“I’m sorry,” is all I can manage. His voice is soaked with anger and betrayal and I don’t know what else to say.
I look over to the doorway and see Ryo leaning against the frame. “Don’t apologize, Shige,” he says and his parents look at him in shock. “I was the one who didn’t tell them.”
“Ryo…?” his mother asks gently and he walks over to the front of my bed towards where they are sitting.
“Yes,” he says and moments later the two are standing in front of him as if they’ve seen a ghost.
Ryo’s mother weeps tears of happiness and he is looking at her with eyes filled with longing. His father grabs hold of his shoulders and shakes him slightly. “This isn’t a joke, right?”
“No,” Ryo replies but he doesn’t make eye contact with his father.
“Why didn’t you tell us?” his father continues. He must be shocked out of his mind and that transfers an even stronger tone of anger to his words. “You should have come to us.”
Ryo can’t even look at him and it breaks my heart to watch. “I didn’t want to tell you. I couldn’t tell you until I was sure of things,” Ryo says in a shaky voice and a tear rolls down his cheek. He’s so vulnerable and I wish I could hold him, comfort him but there is nothing I can do for him right now. “I didn’t want you to see me like this. I may look okay now but when I came back here, I had to look at the town knowing that I was no longer a part of it.”
His mother continues to sob and his father’s face softens, though Ryo cannot see it.
“There were so many things I forced myself to give up and I was in one of the darkest places I’ve ever been in. I was scared and I didn’t want you to see me like that.”
His father drops an arm to his side and wipes away a few tears from his eyes with the other. His mother wraps her arms around Ryo, sobbing even more loudly and saying how much she loves him and that she can’t believe he’s back but Ryo doesn’t return the embrace. He’s crying and hurting and I know there is a reason he is so stiff.
“After betraying you so many times, I didn’t want to hurt you again. I wanted to tell you when I was fully happy so that you didn’t have to see the pain I have been through.”
He releases himself from her grasp and takes a few steps away. “I thought that holding it in until then would be the one thing I have done that would make you two happy.”
“No, no…” his mother repeats and shakes her head.
“I didn’t want to hurt you two anymore,” he almost yells in response.
The fear is written on their faces as they watch him walk towards the door.
“Son,” his father calls out but does not face him and Ryo turns to him with tears in his eyes. He does not continue and instead his wife says, “Come home with us tonight. I will get your bed ready for you, okay?”
Even though Ryo decided even before I met him to walk on his own path, he’s always been desperate for his father to not only accept him but also be happy with who he is as a person. Any spectator could see how broken their relationship is - how his father doesn’t know what to say and how Ryo is begging for him to say anything at all.
Ryo leaves and moments later his father finally turns to reveal the tears streaming down his cheeks. “You belong at home,” he says but it is too late.
His mother falls to the floor in tears and he tries as best as he can to comfort her. I want to know where Ryo is going, if he’s okay, but I shouldn’t chase after him in this condition. Even if I could, what would I say?
Part Three: Home
Ryo:
Here I am, leaning against a brick wall and smoking about a block from the hospital. I wasn’t ready for them to know. Things are too delicate in my life right now. I just got back together with Shige and he was shot and is now in the hospital, I feel Jiro’s pain, guilt or whatever else he’s feeling at the moment, Asami is fading before our eyes and who knows what Ara will do next for to satisfy her feelings of vengeance. Now on top of all of that, my parents are upset with me because I didn’t tell them sooner. It’s too much.
I don’t blame Shige for telling them. He wouldn’t have done so if he had another choice and I understand that. I just don’t know how I am supposed to deal with the aftermath.
It takes longer than it should with all of the times I thought about turning around, but I reach my house just as my parents are about to open the door. My mother sees me first, hugs me and tells me that she will make me a cup of tea because I must be exhausted. I am, but so is she.
My room hasn’t changed at all and it seems like my mom has kept it clean even after I died. All of this time I thought they would have packed up my things like Shige had done but everything is the way I left it. I guess they never let me go.
This room holds so many memories of a time when things were so simple and the biggest worry I had was whether or not Shige and I would be caught as we made out on my bed. I realize now why my parents left everything this way. They too could look around and see the times when things were easier.
In a literal sense, I should be happy that I have a bed to sleep in now. But the thing that gives me a sense of comfort is that I have something for myself. Before, I wore Jiro’s clothes, slept in his bed, ate his food off of his plates and showered with his soap. Now, I will have control over those things for the most part because Jiro’s cash is running out and so he has nowhere else to go. Being able to have a say in such small things like these gives me a sense of empowerment over him.
My mom brings me a cup of tea and I say nothing as I bring the mug to my lips and cautiously drink the hot liquid. She neatly fixes my bed with fresh sheets and gives me some money to buy necessities. Just these simple actions erase my insecurity around her and for the first time, I go over to her and hug her and tell her how much I have missed her.
Afterwards, she wipes a tear from her eyes. “Mom has been crying so much today,” she says with a smile so that I will not worry. “When you come home you can take a shower and we’ll have dinner together.”
---
The feeling hits me once again when I enter the drug store and realize that I haven’t bought anything for myself in over three years.
The selection isn’t great but they still carry the shampoo and soap I used to use. I pick up a few more necessities such as a toothbrush and shaver and leave the store. Jiro has most of these things, but now that I have the chance, I’d rather have my own. With the money left over, I buy a pair of jeans and a t-shirt to wear tonight and I gather up Jiro’s things from the hotel and check out at the desk.
It’s strange to do all of these things for myself and it is something I will have to get used to. With all of that said, I am fully aware that Jiro is not going to let me do this everyday. I’ll be able to sleep at home but he will probably spend most of the day with Asami in the hospital. Either way, I feel like I am more in control now and that I am not living someone else’s life.
---
When I walk back into my house, I see my father chopping vegetables on the counter and my mother is setting the table, being particular about every detail and making sure that things are perfect.
It feels nice to shower after going through the day smelling like a mixture of a hospital and smoke. When I step into my bedroom, I change into the clothes I bought before digging through the suitcases until I discover the glove and I slip it over my arm to cover the scars.
I didn’t even ask Shige how he was feeling today.
---
When I sit down to dinner, my mom does everything she can to make it go well and somewhere deep down I appreciate it. But with the mechanical, hesitant movements, awkward silence and things I cannot say, it doesn’t feel real. I know they have just been given the shock of their lives and are trying to deal with it silently, but their feelings are even clearer to me this way. We have been living apart and it doesn’t feel like I’m a part of this anymore.
Halfway through, my mom reaches over and touches the glove. “What is this?” she asks curiously.
“It’s to cover the scars on my arm.”
“Scars?”
I nod and swallow the food in my mouth. “Cigarette burns,” I say and I can see the hurt in her eyes. “Jiro went through a phase where he burnt himself when he was upset.”
“Oh honey…”
“He doesn’t do it anymore,” I interrupt. “Shige made this for me so I don’t have to see them.”
“It must have made it easier to have him around,” she says with a smile but she has no idea how much he has helped me.
“I can’t hide myself from him. I need him and he is there.”
“That’s what friends are for, right?” she says and returns her focus to eating the rest of her dinner.
I stare at her, wanting to tell her the truth but I am afraid of what will happen if I do. Quickly I glance over to my father and for the first time our eyes meet. It doesn’t last long, it never does. What will he say if he knows?
I am torn between wanting their acceptance and wanting them to know the secret that I don’t want to hide anymore. I’m in love with Shige and that isn’t going to change.
It isn’t the right time but it’s all or nothing. If I am to come back here and live with them, open my heart to them, I want to know that they accept who I am first. I’ve been living a lie for way too long and I’m sick of it.
“He’s not just a friend, mom,” I say and my hands begin to tremble, not knowing how any of this will go.
She smiles obliviously. “Okay, your best friend.”
“No.” I look to my father. “I mean, he’s more than that.”
“You sound like you’re dating the guy,” my father says jokingly but when I don’t respond I think he realizes that I might not be joking.
“I am,” I say and he gives me the same look he did when I told him that I was switching into the music department.
“What?”
“Dating, as in I’m romantically involved. With a guy. Shige.”
The conversation is suddenly just between the two of us and even though my mom tries to tell me to talk about it later, I won’t back down. I’m not ashamed of it and he shouldn’t be either.
“Since when?”
“About 2 years after we met.”
He doesn’t look at me anymore and instead picks at the vegetables on his plate. “It was probably just a phase you went through back in those days. Your mother is right; we shouldn’t be having this conversation now anyway. We’re eating dinner and by some crazy circumstances our son is back with us. We should enjoy this as a new beginning.”
“It’s not a phase, dad.”
He raises an eyebrow. “You can’t be serious about this.”
“I’ve never been more serious in my life. He’s everything to me.”
He ignores me and I slam my chopsticks down on the table and my mom flinches. “Why can’t you just accept it?”
My mom takes my hand and tries to calm me down. “Honey, it’s okay. We can discuss this another time when we all adjust. This is all new.”
“How am I supposed to adjust when I am sitting here like a fucking reject again?” I respond angrily and my father shakes his head.
“I’m sorry, son. How else am I supposed to react after hearing such a thing?”
“You should at least hear me out.”
“That kind of thing doesn’t happen around here. It never even crossed my mind.”
“It’s who I am, dad. You’ve made it pretty clear that I’m a disappointment to you,” I say and suddenly everything that has been building up is starting to explode before my eyes and I am helpless to stop it. “You wanted me to be a successful businessman and I want to play the guitar. You want me to marry a beautiful bride and I’m in love with a guy. I can’t be who you want me to be.”
I stand up and it hurts to hear my mother crying again but I need to leave before it gets worse. I don’t even make it to the door before my mother’s arms are around me and she sits me on the bottom step. “Ryo, please don’t go. He doesn’t mean it when he says those things, he’s just in shock.”
“I’ll come back when he can get over it.”
“Don’t leave us again. Please. Mom understands.” She is holding on to me tightly and rocking back and forth slowly as if she never wants to let go. “Shigeaki-kun is a good child. If being with him makes you happy, then Mom is happy too, okay? This is your home, Ryo.”
Tears fall from my eyes as she continues. “No matter what you decide to do, I love you and you will always be the same to me.”
“I know, Mom. I need to go.”
As much as it hurts, I shut the door behind me and try to take my mind off of what just happened.
---
When I reach the hospital, it doesn’t take long for me to arrive at Shige’s room. He is eating dinner and judging from the look on his face, he’s forcing it down.
“Not very good?” I say from the doorway and he smiles at me.
“I’ve had worse, but I just don’t have much of an appetite today.”
I take a seat in the chair that is still pulled up close to his bed and take the fork from his hand to see how it tastes.
“No wonder. This chicken is tasteless.”
He grabs the fork from my hand and drops it on the plate. “You should be glad you don’t have to eat it then.”
I lick my lips and glance up to him only to see that he is staring at me. “What?”
“Have you been crying?”
“It’s nothing.”
He frowns and runs his thumb under my right eye. “Liar. Your eyes are all puffy. What happened?”
“The usual. I was beginning to feel somewhat comfortable at home again and at dinner I had an argument with my father, said some harsh words, my mother started crying and I left.”
“What did you argue about?” he asks and pushes the food around on the plate for a few moments before forcing himself to eat another bite.
“I told him about us.”
He brushes my bangs out of my face and shakes his head. “If you wanted to avoid an argument, that probably wasn’t the best route to take. Jumping right back into things doesn’t seem to work well. Look at what happened to us.”
“I should have waited, I know. I couldn’t. I’m so sick of pretending to be someone I’m not.”
“I know. Just give it time. Trust me, it’s a huge shock to see you alive again.”
“Shouldn’t they know everything?”
“It’s better to take it easy.”
“I’m still the same person. I just want to belong as a person and have somewhere to be.”
He takes hold of my hand. “I’m here.”
“I know, it’s just…I don’t want to hold anything in anymore.”
“Except the fact that Asami is sick,” he says, catching me off guard.
“How did you find out?”
“Jun mentioned it before. I wanted to know why a bullet was fired in the first place.”
“I didn’t know if she wanted anyone to know about it. I only mentioned it to Jun because it was obvious last night that something was wrong with her.”
He nods. “It’s okay, I get it.”
“How are you feeling today?”
“I feel bad about missing work. We were supposed to be making macaroni ornaments today.”
I can’t help but laugh and he frowns at me. “It’s my job to be excited about these things. Otherwise, the children might not be as enthusiastic.”
“What is a macaroni ornament anyway?”
“You must have made one when you were a child.”
I open my mouth to tell him that I don’t remember doing anything like that but I hear my mother’s voice instead. “You did,” she says but I can’t look at her, not after the way I left her.
My father is standing with her in the doorway and my mood is suddenly dampened once again.
I watch him as he walks over and puts a hand on Shige’s left shoulder and I think we are both shocked to see tears in his eyes. “You’ve always been such a good friend to our son. When I wasn’t being a good father, you were there. Like right now.”
He’s never apologized before, nor has he ever admitted that he was wrong. Instead, arguments have always ended with words like Fine, do what you want, where he said that I was wrong but he’d let me get away with it. Now, it seems like he might actually accept Shige as my boyfriend.
“You know how difficult he can be,” he says and Shige laughs. “But I hope you will continue to be there for him.”
“Seriously?” I ask.
He sighs. “I was sitting at the table for a half hour, just trying to sort things out. I don’t want you to think that I’m not happy to have you back.” It is strange to hear him talking to me like this. “You know that I’m not good with words, son, but when you were taken from us I regretted every day that our relationship was so bad. By trying my best to accept the two of you, I hope that you can see that I do love you.”
Shige squeezes my hand, knowing that those were the words I’ve been wanting to hear for too long. My father was stiff and awkward while saying it, but it is more than enough.
I don’t know what to say but “Thank you.”
He looks me in the eyes and smiles ever so slightly. “Your bed will be waiting for you when you come home, son.”
They leave and for the first time I feel like I can go home without worrying about being rejected by my family. I don’t have to hide from them anymore and I can go home after all of these years. That, more than anything, makes me realize how lucky I am to have been given a second chance.
---
Asami is asleep when I enter her room and I silently wonder if she has been lonely today. For about an hour I just sit here next to her hospital bed, watching her like I did with Shige last night. I can tell Jiro has missed her because just being like this makes his presence seem calmer, less noticeable. As much as I would like to hate him, there is a connection between the two of us. We feel each other’s emotions sometimes as our own and we end up doing things that will calm the other. Pain is the strongest, I have realized. When he aches for something, it hurts to the point where it feels like I am going crazy and I hate him like I would hate a person who is driving a nail into my chest. In those times, I think This isn’t my pain, I don’t want to feel like this. I want to be free of him. But I know that not only do I not have a choice, it is because of him I am able to live.
Back in the days when Shige was locked in the house, I hurt so badly for him and Jiro felt that. He channeled that pain into the beatings until he gave in to me for a few minutes. Sometimes it is so bad that we don’t have a choice.
Feeling each other’s emotions is probably the thing I hate most about being locked in this body with him. But it is also the thing I am most grateful for because as selfish as it sounds, it is what allows me to live.
---
When I come back to Shige’s room, he is completely engrossed in a TV program while eating some slices of pears.
“You say you don’t have an appetite yet every time I see you you’re eating.”
Without looking away from the TV screen, he says, “There’s nothing else to do. I’m bored.”
I steal a raspberry off of his plate and pop it into my mouth but it doesn’t get his attention.
“Why are you ignoring me?”
“It’s almost over, Ryo.”
As I look at him, I can’t help but realize how beautiful he is, even in a drab hospital gown.
I take his hand in mine and bring it up to my lips, keeping my focus on him as I kiss it softly. I slowly leave a trail of light kisses up his arm and when I get up to his elbow he takes his arm away and reaches for the remote. He shuts off the TV and smirks at me.
“Do you love my arm that much?”
“It’s the only place I can without hurting you,” I explain but he just shakes with soft laughter. “I’m being considerate.”
“You’re being paranoid.”
I sit on the bed next to him hesitantly. “I don’t want to do something wrong and have you screaming in pain for a nurse.”
“Just stay away from my right arm and it’s okay.”
I move closer to him on the bed and look over at the bandage. I feel him touch my cheek.
“Kiss me,” he says and I lean forward and I comply by kissing him softly on the lips.
It doesn’t matter that we’re in a hospital and that the staff might not like such a sight because I have been missing him and wanting him so badly since we were forced to part that night.
I pull away and he smiles. “You smell like you used to. You look more like yourself today too.”
I run my fingers over his cheek, knowing that this might be the only time we’ll be able to be like this for a while. “Did you miss it?”
He nods and kisses my thumb as I run it across his lips. “I did.”
“When you get out of here we can spend that time together. Until then I might not be able to see you that much if at all.”
He nods in understanding. “I’ll be fine.”
We kiss again, this time for much longer. His lips are as soft as always and his hand is gripped tightly on my shoulder.
“Ahem,” I hear a nurse say and Shige laughs as I fall back into my seat next to the bed.
Her voice suddenly perks up and she bounces over to Shige’s bed. “Did you like your fruit, Kato-san?” She’s young and seems a bit too interested as she twists from side to side with a soft smile.
“Very much, thank you.”
The young nurse takes the plate and glares at me. “Visiting hours are over in ten minutes.”
“I know,” I say and bow my head slightly in appreciation.
She gives me another dirty look and waves to Shige before leaving the room.
“She hates you,” Shige says, getting way too much amusement out of the past two minutes.
“More like she likes you,” I reply. “She should be fired.”
“For being nice?”
“Will she come in to fluff your pillow at night too?” I ask with sarcastic interest.
“She’s friendly to everyone.”
“Not to me.”
“She just saw us-“ he begins but I silence him with another kiss.
“Five minutes, sir!” the nurse calls from the hallway and I ignore her and continue the kiss until Shige pushes me away and smirks.
“Get some sleep.”
“You too.” I turn to leave but he grabs hold of my hand.
“I love you,” he says. Surprisingly, it is only the second time he’s said it to me and it feels so good to hear, especially after everything that has happened today. Until I see him again, of course I will think about him, want to be with him and wonder if he is doing okay, but when we are given that amount of time alone together, I won’t waste it. Two days might not seem like much, but I will use it to show him just how much he means to me.
End of Chapter 12
A/N: I hope everyone enjoyed this chapter. ^^; Next one will revolve around the "date". :)