Frozen fear
RyoDa
NC-17
Summary: Based on Snow White Queen by Evanescence. Ueda can't escape.
Note: Unbeted, I AM A HORRIBLE PERSON!!! oh my god what did I even write!!! I am soo sorry Ueda. Words in italics are lyrics from the song.
WARNING: this fic contains rape... (which should not be taken lightly)
Ueda slipped in, quickly locking the door and sliding down it. His eyes stared out blankly at the darkness of his apartment. Slowly he stood up and drifted across in the darkness, afraid to turn on the lights. His room was ominous, and he felt uneasy in it. He kept his eyes away from the bed as he slowly slipped out his clothes and headed to the bathroom. He stood under the stream of the shower, not even aware that the water was cold. The water helped, his tears running down with it as he reached for the sponge, ready to try and scrub it all away.
You'll never know the way your words have haunted me.
I can't believe you'd ask these things of me.
He shivered as he pulled the blanket tighter around him. His couch was uncomfortable, but he felt better here. But despite it all, despite how tired he felt, he just lay there; everything echoing dully in his mind; nothing fading away. He wished that it would all just go away, would just vanish and leave him alone. How he wished he could succumb to a sweet dreamless sleep.
I can't escape the twisted way you think of me.
I feel you in my dreams and I don't sleep.
He feared walking in. His hands shook on the steering wheel in his car. All he had to do was get out, and go up to KAT-TUN’s changing room. Around others he’d be safe. No one could get him there. Just a few interviews and photo shoots and then home; back to the darkness.
Slowly he gathered his courage; he stood alone in the elevator, watching the numbers as they climbed. He glanced at his watch, he was early, it gave him time to calm down, and to smile. Kame would be tricky to fool, he always saw through everything. The chime indicated that he had reached his floor… he just had to go down half the corridor, and then he’d be ok. He stepped out, hurrying, his eyes down.
And right into something. He inwardly groaned as he fell backwards, he really should look where he’s going. Slowly he lifted his eyes, ready to apologise to whoever was walking down the corridor before colliding with him.
“Ueda? I was just looking for you” The voice hit him before his eyes could reach the face. His eyes went wide in fear, as they made contact with the deep black pupils of the one person he did not want to see.
“Sorry Nishikido, I have somewhere to be” He tried, scrambling to his feet, he had to get away, far away. He turned heading right passed the elevator… He could run down the stairs, or up. Anything to get away.
His mind whirled with escape routes when he felt himself being pulled back and his back crashing into the edge of a table. He fell backwards, his eyes focusing on the ceiling as the lights came flashing on. The tell-tale sound of the door being locked echoing around him.
Slowly he lifted his head and he was staring, the smirk never leaving his face. And for a moment everything came back, everything he spent the whole night silencing, screamed through his memories.
I'm losing my mind and you just stand there and stare as my world divides.
Ryo cut off his route to the door, and he had nowhere left to go. Slowly Ryo advanced and Ueda tensed on the table, the voice in his head screaming at him to move and whispering at him to hold still.
It will all be over in a moment.
Just like always.
Slowly Ueda lowered his eyes, looking away. He couldn’t fight Ryo, how many times had he tried. He couldn’t even keep the younger out of his apartment. He had slipped in, and just ruined everything, tearing into him and ripping his mind apart.
His mind shut down as Ryo’s hand invaded him, his eyes blank as he felt disgusted with himself, he can’t even stop his body’s reactions and soon Ryo was intimately connected to him unwillingly. He could hear Ryo whispering to him, but his mind supplied him with different words. Words of disgrace and cruelty, everything that Ryo whispered was a lie, there was no love in this.
He was shamed, trapped and caged all by a fear called Nishikido Ryo.
It finished fast and Ryo’s possessive eyes glanced over him as he did up his trousers and left Ueda there on the table, just like always.
Defiled,
Dirty,
And broken.
You belong to me,
My snow white queen.
There's nowhere to run, so let's just get it over.
Soon I know you'll see,
You're just like me.
Don't scream anymore my love, 'cause all I want is you