My reflection - chapter 21, Ruki/Kai, Reita/Uruha
Author: yukigafuru
Title: My reflection
Chapters:22?
Pairing: Ruki/Kai, Uruha/Reita, Aoi/OC, Aoi/Sakito
Warnings: lots of angst, manxman love
Rating: PG-15
Genre: Angst, Romance
Disclaimer: I am not connected to the real persons. This is just a figment of my imagination and I don't make any money nor profit in any way out of this (well, except gathering your love that is).
Summary: They are successful but are they really happy? Are there shadows lurking in the dark, just waiting for a chance to come out? What is happening with Ruki and how can Kai help? And what will this challenge for the two of them bring?
Chapter 21
Ruki had been searching for Kai for over 15 minutes in a place you only needed five to get from one end to the other. Therefore, he was getting impatient and just a little bit worried. After all, their drummer was famous for never being able to sit in one place if he was in charge of something and until then he had practically arranged everything. He complained sometimes but Ruki knew he just loved doing this for their guitarist.
He had asked several people if they had seen Kai and some of them had, but over an hour ago (in such a small place). Ruki kept searching. Suddenly, he felt his phone vibrate in his pocket, pooled the device out and looked at the screen. He had received a message from an unknown number. His eyes went as big as saucers when reading it and his heart started beating wildly in his chest. He didn’t waste any time in getting out of the building and into his car and then speeding off towards his destination: Kai’s apartment.
“Hope you’re enjoying your day, Ruki-san, since I certainly am enjoying mine. Today is the day I finally take back what is mine and take him away from you. Did you really think that just because some months have passed, I had given up on MY lover? He’s mine and always will, I won’t hand him over to anyone else. And he did come on his own two feet, not that it surprised me because after all, he is just truly returning home.”
Of course he knew whom it was from. He really had forgotten all about her. But not just him, Kai had forgotten about her so why would he actually go back to his apartment just because she had called him? Something was wrong; Ruki could feel it in his bones. And he’d be damned if he didn’t fix it. Midori could bloody well go to hell, as far as he was concerned, because she’d never put her claws on his drummer again, for as long as she lived (which might be very short by the way).
It seemed it took an eternity to get to Kai’s apartment, which was fortunately not that far from the wedding hall. He ran up the stairs (the elevator just took too long in coming), got to Kai’s door, used the key the drummer had given him a while back and barged in.
Midori and Kai were sitting on the couches, facing each other. She had a gun pointed to Kai’s chest. Ruki gasped. She started talking.
“Ruki-san, you finally came. We decided to wait for you.”
“Why are you here?” Kai asked, his voice a bit rough and restrained.
“I got a message. I rushed over here.”
“And why would that be?” She asked, an amused smirk on her face.
“What the fuck do you think you’re doing? Having a gun in Japan is illegal and wait, forget about that, why are you pointing it at Kai-kun?”
She slowly got up and then in a flash, the gun was pointing at Ruki instead.
“You’re right. After all, it’s you I wanted a little chat with. Care to follow me in the bathroom?” She saw from the corner of her eyes Kai moving a bit.
“Don’t move a muscle, Kai-san, or I swear I’ll use this. Unless you don’t care about his life, that is.”
“Why are you doing this, Midori-san? Haven’t you done enough damage already? I never wanted to see you again.”
She pulled the safety while continuing to point the gun at Ruki.
“Are you sure you should be saying that, Kai? My finger might just slip you know?”
Kai stayed silent, watching her with blazing eyes. She made a sign and then slowly, as if in a slow-motion picture movie, they went into the bedroom, the door closed behind them. Kai got up and grabbed his phone, thinking about calling the police. It had started dialing when all of a sudden he closed it. He couldn’t call the police; that woman was crazy enough to shoot Ruki the moment she felt threatened. And Ruki was his life… But if he didn’t do anything then…
Behind the bedroom’s door, Midori had guided Ruki into the bathroom, “so she wouldn’t make a mess in her lovely home.” As soon as the bathroom door was closed, she surprised him with a question:
“Do you love him?”
Ruki couldn’t reply. If he said yes, he might get shot; if he said no, he’d be giving into fear and she could smell the lie and he could get shot. Unless he managed to wrestle that gun out of her hands…
“You know, I’ve been watching you two ever since that day. When I saw the ambulance take you away I thought: because of my words, he tried to kill himself. I was scared shitless; I’d have a life on my conscience. I just wanted you to get away from him but not in that way. I never truly wanted you dead. So I continued to follow you two. Saw him running from this apartment to the hospital those four days, looking as if he was on the verge of collapsing, but he kept it up. I was relieved you weren’t dead. And then I saw the day he brought you back, the moment you got out of the car. That was the first true smile I had seen on his lips in months, and it was all for you. I was jealous. I kept watching, you two going out, the way he supported you, the way you looked at each other, the way you started to look at him especially when you thought no one was watching. You don’t need to answer my question, Ruki-san, I know for a fact you’re in love with him. Which made me wonder why you still haven’t told him, it’s been months after all. You’re hurting him and yourself keeping up this charade. If you fall in love you should just tell that person.”
“Nice of you to talk about love. You have no idea what it even is.”
She gave a painful smile.
“I didn’t have an idea a few months ago. I do now. “
Ruki huffed.
“I’m not in love with Kai-san. I don’t think I ever was. It was more of an obsession I think. A little while after you got out of hospital, I met someone else, a wonderful person that accepted me even after I confessed everything. We’re getting married in a couple of months. But I always felt bad when I thought about you two suffering like idiots and I also wanted to atone just a little bit for my sins.”
“And you came up with pointing a gun at our heads?”
She chuckled.
“What, this? It’s a toy gun. They make them quite realistic, don’t they? I mean, really, you two fell for it blind and sinker. How would I get a gun in Japan?” She continued chuckling, while putting the toy gun away. Ruki was flabbergasted. “If I had said: I want to talk to the two of you, you probably would have got bodyguards and a restraining order around me. I know Kai. He’d do the impossible to keep you safe. So maybe it was a bit extreme but…”
“So you just locked me up in the bathroom for what exactly?”
“Oh, to get you to confess today to Kai-san of course.”
“Now isn’t this just the most romantic situation to be confessed to…”
“It’s not about that, is it? You’re just afraid to tell him. And I want to know why so I can get it out of you and get you guys together.”
“I really don’t feel like talking to you…” He made for the door.
“Are you that afraid of saying it out loud?”
Ruki swiftly turned around.
“I don’t see why I should tell you about it.”
“Because maybe, just maybe, I’ll be able to help.”
“I… I’m not right for him, ok? Not the me right now. I tried to kill myself again a few weeks ago. I’m not stable and I don’t want to hurt him more…”
“Bullshit. You’re hurting him right now. This is not really about him, Ruki-san; it’s about you. You just refuse to forgive yourself and keep punishing yourself. And in the process you’re hurting Kai-san. What do you feel needs punishing?”
“I…” Ruki was fidgeting. He was surprised to see obvious understanding brandish her face and just like that they were out of the bathroom and into the bedroom and she had revealed the big mirror encased in the closet’s doors. Ruki couldn’t look at it.
“I thought so! I’m sure now. You somehow think there’s something physically wrong with you. This is the reason you were seeing that psychiatrist.”
“I have an eating disorder, ok? I’ve been trying to get over it for the past months. Slowly, I’ve gotten used to the idea that the scales aren’t lying to me and that I’m not overweight, that everyone around me is right when I’m wrong but sometimes…”
“Are you telling me you haven’t looked in the mirror in months?”
“I have, but not like this. Just parts at a time; if I don’t see the whole picture, I can handle it, see myself normally. I’m…”
“Well you better get over it because you’re being an idiot.”
“Why you…”
She stood behind him, turned his neck and forced him to look at himself. Ruki cringed. After all this time, he was still seeing himself deformed. Not as bad as before but still…
“What do you see?”
“I…”
“Because from your face, it’s not good. Why are you so afraid of really looking at yourself?”
“I am, aren’t I?” Ruki almost screamed.
“No, you aren’t. What you are seeing now is not your reflection. It’s just a picture you made up, running away from reality. I don’t think you’re really sick, Ruki-san, just being a coward.”
“I am not a coward.”
“And still you wanted to run away from it all, end it all…”
She was right. But no matter how hard he tried he could only see that hideous image of himself, even though he knew it wasn’t the truth.
“Do you remember what I told you that day?”
“Yeah.” Sure he did. It had hurt like hell, as if having knives repetitively pierce his heart.
“Every single word was a lie.” Ruki hardly believed his ears. “You’re an idiot for not really seeing I was jealous. Of course I was. You had Kai’s attention and to top it off you’re more beautiful than the large majority of this earth’s human population. And I do not like saying this even now. I can’t believe how someone like you can even start thinking he’s not gorgeous.”
“I…”
“Now look here, Ruki-san. Your former female archenemy is telling you how big an idiot you are for not believing in yourself and who you are. If you couldn’t believe Kai-san or your friends and doubted them about trying to make you feel better, do you really think I’d do that? Hell, I’m mad at myself for praising a guy, for Christ’s sake. So get over it! Now! Because Kai-kun is eating his heart out in the next room. And when we get out there, I’m probably gonna get strangled if I don’t get you together. So make an effort, will you?”
Ruki knew she was right. Kai was out there, probably kicking himself, worried about him. He wanted to… his friend was getting married today and they were both really late for the wedding. They’d probably get murdered by their guitarist the moment they showed up so they might as well enjoy their last moments. It really wasn’t the time to be joking like that, not with a pissed off, potentially dangerous woman behind him. And he really was not a coward.
So he looked again. Nothing. He looked harder. Still not working. Why the hell? He knew he wasn’t fat, he knew that wasn’t him but why wouldn’t his reflection show him the truth? He was Ruki, the vocalist of the Gazette, the coolest band in Japan, surrounded by the most wonderful friends anyone could have and loved by millions and most of all, he was loved by the most gentle, caring person in the entire world. Even if he’d suddenly grow a Santa Claus belly Kai would still love him (ok, so maybe he was exaggerating a bit). So there was really nothing to be scared about. She saw her glaring at him in the mirror. Fine, he thought (she was still scary even when he knew she actually meant good this time) and then he forced his gaze to trail slowly down, his face, his neck, chest, slowly, partially at first, gathering just peripherally the whole image and then, as if focusing a camera, he looked at himself. And he saw his reflection, Ruki, the vocalist of the Gazette, the real him. After months of not being able to recognize himself in the mirror, it was finally there. He couldn’t believe it but even if he looked away then back again, the mirror image didn’t change. Internally, Ruki was exhilarated and it must have shown on his face because the smirk on Midori’s face… he really would have liked to wipe that off her.
She patted him on the shoulder and then swiftly moved towards the door and opened it. It just so happened he could see Kai in the mirror. The drummer was white as a sheet of paper, watching just her getting out of the room.
“You didn’t…” Kai whispered.
“Kai-san, relax. It was a toy gun, ok? I just wanted to have a little chat with him, without you putting a straight jacket on me. I’ll be leaving the two of you alone now. And Kai-san, I hope someday you’ll be able to forgive me. I truly am sorry, about everything.”
Just before she was out the apartment door, she heard Ruki’s voice from the bedroom.
“Be sure to send that invitation. We’ll both be there.” She hadn’t thought she could get happier.
Kai was almost unable to move from sheer relief washing over him, upon hearing Ruki’s voice. He wanted to get in there but somehow he found it hard to move. When Ruki came out though it felt as if chains that had been surrounding him suddenly untangled, setting him free. Before he knew it, he was embracing Ruki.
“Kai-chan, I’m ok. She scared us pretty good, right?”
“Right now I just want to make sure you’re alright. Afterwards, I’ll start planning a murder.” It was mostly a joke. It felt wonderful to be able to joke at that point.
“I’m more than fine, Kai-chan. I’m perfect. You know, we should actually thank her.”
“What the hell are you talking about?” Kai asked, looking surprised at Ruki’s face. Ruki’s grin was a mile long.
“You’re going to have to thank her for finally getting us together.”
He was definitely hallucinating, Kai thought. Or he had hearing problems. He should probably get it consulted as soon as possible.
“Thank her for what?” He asked again.
Ruki just pulled him closer again, stretched his arms, surrounding his neck, looking caringly into the drummer’s eyes.
“Kai, how about finally confessing?”
“To what?” He mumbled again.
“Boy, you’re stubborn. But I refuse to do it for you. Really, Kai-chan, isn’t this position revealing enough?” Ruki smiled. “Nope? Then how about this?”
And he pressed his lips against Kai’s, mapping the soft surface of those lips he had touched before, but never like this. This time, it was a real kiss. Just their lips pressed together didn’t feel enough. He couldn’t believe there had been a time when it had been. He nibbled upon the lower lip, growled a bit and then crossed the soft barrier, plunging into the sweet expanse of Kai’s mouth. It was heaven, no other definition for it, Kai’s taste, his smell, the movements of his tongue against his own, as if they were making love already (that was also definitely on Ruki’s agenda). It was exhilarating, every single cell of his body was demanding more of Kai but no matter how frantic the kiss or how they clung to each other, pressing tightly into the other’s body, refusing to back off even a little, it still wasn’t enough.
Unfortunately, they were still human, they still needed to breathe and Ruki needed and wanted a confession. So he reluctantly pulled apart.
“How about now?” he playfully asked. He loved the way Kai’s eyes sparkled with happiness and love and Ruki shivered upon seeing sheer lust reflected in those orbs.
“God, I love you. Up to the point where I feel that someday I might lose my mind.”
“Good to hear it. It’s wonderful to finally have you tell me. I love you too.”
“I’m so happy, Ru-chan.” Kai said while embracing him as if never wanting to let go. But then, he gasped and asked: “And that means… since when have you known?”
“A long time. And I’ve been trying to tell you ever since. It took a former dangerous woman for us to finally stop being idiots.”
“What exactly are you talking about?”
“She helped me get rid of the only obstacle between us: the fear of my condition. She basically threatened me into accepting I have absolutely no physical problems.”
“So this means you’re…”
“Cured? Don’t know about that, but if I’m not then I’m definitely close because now I can say for sure that soon all that will be just a bad dream. And now, if you don’t mind…” Ruki started while his hands were busy unbuttoning Kai’s shirt, one button at a time, his mouth tracing butterfly kisses down Kai’s jaw line and neck and…
Kai gasped and closed his eyes at the sensation. “I’d love it if my lover would accompany me to the bedroom.”
“I like the sound of that.”
A/N: I can't imagine a better chapter for you to tell me your thoughts on this. I've told you already that my imagination practically lives on your comments, so it shouldn't be that hard to drop me a line or two after you've read this. I certainly hope you do because it's been hectic lately (haven't read a fic in weeks actually, which is quite surprising if you'd know me) and I really need them to get me to write. If you'd like to see this finished after all... I do want to thank the girls that have been supporting me constantly since I started this. If it weren't for you, I would have given up a long time ago, so really, thank you. And think the moment you've been waiting for has finally come right? I mean it just took 22 chapters to get to this point (evil laughs). I did tell you I had a few surprises planned after all. Hope you liked it as much as I liked writing it.
Title: My reflection
Chapters:22?
Pairing: Ruki/Kai, Uruha/Reita, Aoi/OC, Aoi/Sakito
Warnings: lots of angst, manxman love
Rating: PG-15
Genre: Angst, Romance
Disclaimer: I am not connected to the real persons. This is just a figment of my imagination and I don't make any money nor profit in any way out of this (well, except gathering your love that is).
Summary: They are successful but are they really happy? Are there shadows lurking in the dark, just waiting for a chance to come out? What is happening with Ruki and how can Kai help? And what will this challenge for the two of them bring?
Chapter 21
Ruki had been searching for Kai for over 15 minutes in a place you only needed five to get from one end to the other. Therefore, he was getting impatient and just a little bit worried. After all, their drummer was famous for never being able to sit in one place if he was in charge of something and until then he had practically arranged everything. He complained sometimes but Ruki knew he just loved doing this for their guitarist.
He had asked several people if they had seen Kai and some of them had, but over an hour ago (in such a small place). Ruki kept searching. Suddenly, he felt his phone vibrate in his pocket, pooled the device out and looked at the screen. He had received a message from an unknown number. His eyes went as big as saucers when reading it and his heart started beating wildly in his chest. He didn’t waste any time in getting out of the building and into his car and then speeding off towards his destination: Kai’s apartment.
“Hope you’re enjoying your day, Ruki-san, since I certainly am enjoying mine. Today is the day I finally take back what is mine and take him away from you. Did you really think that just because some months have passed, I had given up on MY lover? He’s mine and always will, I won’t hand him over to anyone else. And he did come on his own two feet, not that it surprised me because after all, he is just truly returning home.”
Of course he knew whom it was from. He really had forgotten all about her. But not just him, Kai had forgotten about her so why would he actually go back to his apartment just because she had called him? Something was wrong; Ruki could feel it in his bones. And he’d be damned if he didn’t fix it. Midori could bloody well go to hell, as far as he was concerned, because she’d never put her claws on his drummer again, for as long as she lived (which might be very short by the way).
It seemed it took an eternity to get to Kai’s apartment, which was fortunately not that far from the wedding hall. He ran up the stairs (the elevator just took too long in coming), got to Kai’s door, used the key the drummer had given him a while back and barged in.
Midori and Kai were sitting on the couches, facing each other. She had a gun pointed to Kai’s chest. Ruki gasped. She started talking.
“Ruki-san, you finally came. We decided to wait for you.”
“Why are you here?” Kai asked, his voice a bit rough and restrained.
“I got a message. I rushed over here.”
“And why would that be?” She asked, an amused smirk on her face.
“What the fuck do you think you’re doing? Having a gun in Japan is illegal and wait, forget about that, why are you pointing it at Kai-kun?”
She slowly got up and then in a flash, the gun was pointing at Ruki instead.
“You’re right. After all, it’s you I wanted a little chat with. Care to follow me in the bathroom?” She saw from the corner of her eyes Kai moving a bit.
“Don’t move a muscle, Kai-san, or I swear I’ll use this. Unless you don’t care about his life, that is.”
“Why are you doing this, Midori-san? Haven’t you done enough damage already? I never wanted to see you again.”
She pulled the safety while continuing to point the gun at Ruki.
“Are you sure you should be saying that, Kai? My finger might just slip you know?”
Kai stayed silent, watching her with blazing eyes. She made a sign and then slowly, as if in a slow-motion picture movie, they went into the bedroom, the door closed behind them. Kai got up and grabbed his phone, thinking about calling the police. It had started dialing when all of a sudden he closed it. He couldn’t call the police; that woman was crazy enough to shoot Ruki the moment she felt threatened. And Ruki was his life… But if he didn’t do anything then…
Behind the bedroom’s door, Midori had guided Ruki into the bathroom, “so she wouldn’t make a mess in her lovely home.” As soon as the bathroom door was closed, she surprised him with a question:
“Do you love him?”
Ruki couldn’t reply. If he said yes, he might get shot; if he said no, he’d be giving into fear and she could smell the lie and he could get shot. Unless he managed to wrestle that gun out of her hands…
“You know, I’ve been watching you two ever since that day. When I saw the ambulance take you away I thought: because of my words, he tried to kill himself. I was scared shitless; I’d have a life on my conscience. I just wanted you to get away from him but not in that way. I never truly wanted you dead. So I continued to follow you two. Saw him running from this apartment to the hospital those four days, looking as if he was on the verge of collapsing, but he kept it up. I was relieved you weren’t dead. And then I saw the day he brought you back, the moment you got out of the car. That was the first true smile I had seen on his lips in months, and it was all for you. I was jealous. I kept watching, you two going out, the way he supported you, the way you looked at each other, the way you started to look at him especially when you thought no one was watching. You don’t need to answer my question, Ruki-san, I know for a fact you’re in love with him. Which made me wonder why you still haven’t told him, it’s been months after all. You’re hurting him and yourself keeping up this charade. If you fall in love you should just tell that person.”
“Nice of you to talk about love. You have no idea what it even is.”
She gave a painful smile.
“I didn’t have an idea a few months ago. I do now. “
Ruki huffed.
“I’m not in love with Kai-san. I don’t think I ever was. It was more of an obsession I think. A little while after you got out of hospital, I met someone else, a wonderful person that accepted me even after I confessed everything. We’re getting married in a couple of months. But I always felt bad when I thought about you two suffering like idiots and I also wanted to atone just a little bit for my sins.”
“And you came up with pointing a gun at our heads?”
She chuckled.
“What, this? It’s a toy gun. They make them quite realistic, don’t they? I mean, really, you two fell for it blind and sinker. How would I get a gun in Japan?” She continued chuckling, while putting the toy gun away. Ruki was flabbergasted. “If I had said: I want to talk to the two of you, you probably would have got bodyguards and a restraining order around me. I know Kai. He’d do the impossible to keep you safe. So maybe it was a bit extreme but…”
“So you just locked me up in the bathroom for what exactly?”
“Oh, to get you to confess today to Kai-san of course.”
“Now isn’t this just the most romantic situation to be confessed to…”
“It’s not about that, is it? You’re just afraid to tell him. And I want to know why so I can get it out of you and get you guys together.”
“I really don’t feel like talking to you…” He made for the door.
“Are you that afraid of saying it out loud?”
Ruki swiftly turned around.
“I don’t see why I should tell you about it.”
“Because maybe, just maybe, I’ll be able to help.”
“I… I’m not right for him, ok? Not the me right now. I tried to kill myself again a few weeks ago. I’m not stable and I don’t want to hurt him more…”
“Bullshit. You’re hurting him right now. This is not really about him, Ruki-san; it’s about you. You just refuse to forgive yourself and keep punishing yourself. And in the process you’re hurting Kai-san. What do you feel needs punishing?”
“I…” Ruki was fidgeting. He was surprised to see obvious understanding brandish her face and just like that they were out of the bathroom and into the bedroom and she had revealed the big mirror encased in the closet’s doors. Ruki couldn’t look at it.
“I thought so! I’m sure now. You somehow think there’s something physically wrong with you. This is the reason you were seeing that psychiatrist.”
“I have an eating disorder, ok? I’ve been trying to get over it for the past months. Slowly, I’ve gotten used to the idea that the scales aren’t lying to me and that I’m not overweight, that everyone around me is right when I’m wrong but sometimes…”
“Are you telling me you haven’t looked in the mirror in months?”
“I have, but not like this. Just parts at a time; if I don’t see the whole picture, I can handle it, see myself normally. I’m…”
“Well you better get over it because you’re being an idiot.”
“Why you…”
She stood behind him, turned his neck and forced him to look at himself. Ruki cringed. After all this time, he was still seeing himself deformed. Not as bad as before but still…
“What do you see?”
“I…”
“Because from your face, it’s not good. Why are you so afraid of really looking at yourself?”
“I am, aren’t I?” Ruki almost screamed.
“No, you aren’t. What you are seeing now is not your reflection. It’s just a picture you made up, running away from reality. I don’t think you’re really sick, Ruki-san, just being a coward.”
“I am not a coward.”
“And still you wanted to run away from it all, end it all…”
She was right. But no matter how hard he tried he could only see that hideous image of himself, even though he knew it wasn’t the truth.
“Do you remember what I told you that day?”
“Yeah.” Sure he did. It had hurt like hell, as if having knives repetitively pierce his heart.
“Every single word was a lie.” Ruki hardly believed his ears. “You’re an idiot for not really seeing I was jealous. Of course I was. You had Kai’s attention and to top it off you’re more beautiful than the large majority of this earth’s human population. And I do not like saying this even now. I can’t believe how someone like you can even start thinking he’s not gorgeous.”
“I…”
“Now look here, Ruki-san. Your former female archenemy is telling you how big an idiot you are for not believing in yourself and who you are. If you couldn’t believe Kai-san or your friends and doubted them about trying to make you feel better, do you really think I’d do that? Hell, I’m mad at myself for praising a guy, for Christ’s sake. So get over it! Now! Because Kai-kun is eating his heart out in the next room. And when we get out there, I’m probably gonna get strangled if I don’t get you together. So make an effort, will you?”
Ruki knew she was right. Kai was out there, probably kicking himself, worried about him. He wanted to… his friend was getting married today and they were both really late for the wedding. They’d probably get murdered by their guitarist the moment they showed up so they might as well enjoy their last moments. It really wasn’t the time to be joking like that, not with a pissed off, potentially dangerous woman behind him. And he really was not a coward.
So he looked again. Nothing. He looked harder. Still not working. Why the hell? He knew he wasn’t fat, he knew that wasn’t him but why wouldn’t his reflection show him the truth? He was Ruki, the vocalist of the Gazette, the coolest band in Japan, surrounded by the most wonderful friends anyone could have and loved by millions and most of all, he was loved by the most gentle, caring person in the entire world. Even if he’d suddenly grow a Santa Claus belly Kai would still love him (ok, so maybe he was exaggerating a bit). So there was really nothing to be scared about. She saw her glaring at him in the mirror. Fine, he thought (she was still scary even when he knew she actually meant good this time) and then he forced his gaze to trail slowly down, his face, his neck, chest, slowly, partially at first, gathering just peripherally the whole image and then, as if focusing a camera, he looked at himself. And he saw his reflection, Ruki, the vocalist of the Gazette, the real him. After months of not being able to recognize himself in the mirror, it was finally there. He couldn’t believe it but even if he looked away then back again, the mirror image didn’t change. Internally, Ruki was exhilarated and it must have shown on his face because the smirk on Midori’s face… he really would have liked to wipe that off her.
She patted him on the shoulder and then swiftly moved towards the door and opened it. It just so happened he could see Kai in the mirror. The drummer was white as a sheet of paper, watching just her getting out of the room.
“You didn’t…” Kai whispered.
“Kai-san, relax. It was a toy gun, ok? I just wanted to have a little chat with him, without you putting a straight jacket on me. I’ll be leaving the two of you alone now. And Kai-san, I hope someday you’ll be able to forgive me. I truly am sorry, about everything.”
Just before she was out the apartment door, she heard Ruki’s voice from the bedroom.
“Be sure to send that invitation. We’ll both be there.” She hadn’t thought she could get happier.
Kai was almost unable to move from sheer relief washing over him, upon hearing Ruki’s voice. He wanted to get in there but somehow he found it hard to move. When Ruki came out though it felt as if chains that had been surrounding him suddenly untangled, setting him free. Before he knew it, he was embracing Ruki.
“Kai-chan, I’m ok. She scared us pretty good, right?”
“Right now I just want to make sure you’re alright. Afterwards, I’ll start planning a murder.” It was mostly a joke. It felt wonderful to be able to joke at that point.
“I’m more than fine, Kai-chan. I’m perfect. You know, we should actually thank her.”
“What the hell are you talking about?” Kai asked, looking surprised at Ruki’s face. Ruki’s grin was a mile long.
“You’re going to have to thank her for finally getting us together.”
He was definitely hallucinating, Kai thought. Or he had hearing problems. He should probably get it consulted as soon as possible.
“Thank her for what?” He asked again.
Ruki just pulled him closer again, stretched his arms, surrounding his neck, looking caringly into the drummer’s eyes.
“Kai, how about finally confessing?”
“To what?” He mumbled again.
“Boy, you’re stubborn. But I refuse to do it for you. Really, Kai-chan, isn’t this position revealing enough?” Ruki smiled. “Nope? Then how about this?”
And he pressed his lips against Kai’s, mapping the soft surface of those lips he had touched before, but never like this. This time, it was a real kiss. Just their lips pressed together didn’t feel enough. He couldn’t believe there had been a time when it had been. He nibbled upon the lower lip, growled a bit and then crossed the soft barrier, plunging into the sweet expanse of Kai’s mouth. It was heaven, no other definition for it, Kai’s taste, his smell, the movements of his tongue against his own, as if they were making love already (that was also definitely on Ruki’s agenda). It was exhilarating, every single cell of his body was demanding more of Kai but no matter how frantic the kiss or how they clung to each other, pressing tightly into the other’s body, refusing to back off even a little, it still wasn’t enough.
Unfortunately, they were still human, they still needed to breathe and Ruki needed and wanted a confession. So he reluctantly pulled apart.
“How about now?” he playfully asked. He loved the way Kai’s eyes sparkled with happiness and love and Ruki shivered upon seeing sheer lust reflected in those orbs.
“God, I love you. Up to the point where I feel that someday I might lose my mind.”
“Good to hear it. It’s wonderful to finally have you tell me. I love you too.”
“I’m so happy, Ru-chan.” Kai said while embracing him as if never wanting to let go. But then, he gasped and asked: “And that means… since when have you known?”
“A long time. And I’ve been trying to tell you ever since. It took a former dangerous woman for us to finally stop being idiots.”
“What exactly are you talking about?”
“She helped me get rid of the only obstacle between us: the fear of my condition. She basically threatened me into accepting I have absolutely no physical problems.”
“So this means you’re…”
“Cured? Don’t know about that, but if I’m not then I’m definitely close because now I can say for sure that soon all that will be just a bad dream. And now, if you don’t mind…” Ruki started while his hands were busy unbuttoning Kai’s shirt, one button at a time, his mouth tracing butterfly kisses down Kai’s jaw line and neck and…
Kai gasped and closed his eyes at the sensation. “I’d love it if my lover would accompany me to the bedroom.”
“I like the sound of that.”
A/N: I can't imagine a better chapter for you to tell me your thoughts on this. I've told you already that my imagination practically lives on your comments, so it shouldn't be that hard to drop me a line or two after you've read this. I certainly hope you do because it's been hectic lately (haven't read a fic in weeks actually, which is quite surprising if you'd know me) and I really need them to get me to write. If you'd like to see this finished after all... I do want to thank the girls that have been supporting me constantly since I started this. If it weren't for you, I would have given up a long time ago, so really, thank you. And think the moment you've been waiting for has finally come right? I mean it just took 22 chapters to get to this point (evil laughs). I did tell you I had a few surprises planned after all. Hope you liked it as much as I liked writing it.