Realizations
× Title: Realizations 
× Author: yukichan_tb
× Length: 2467 words - Chaptered
× Characters: Ninomiya Kazunari + Sakurai Sho + Masaki Aiba
× Rating: R
× Genre: friendship, romance, angst - angst - and more angst!
× Disclaimer: I don’t own anyone except the plot… Actually I don’t own even the plot, since they are acting of their own free will XD
× Summary: Nino and Sho are long-time friends, even if “friends” is a concept that cannot really describe their relationship because… Basically Nino uses Sho for his own purposes and Sho can’t help but surrender to him. Things start to change when Aiba Masaki butts in and gets Sho’s attention as well… but everything was planned by the bratty Nino… How will Sho react now?
× Previous Chapters: Prologue, Chapter One, Chapter Two, Chapter Three, Chapter Four, Chapter Five, Chapter Six, Chapter Seven
~Chapter eight~
--- --- ---
The next day Sakurai was absent from school. As well as the day after, and the one after that…
Apparently, he had informed someone that his sickness had worsened and he got the permission not to attend lessons.
Given that he had spent the whole Monday afternoon in infirmary, no one was distrustful on that version of the facts… except for Nino.
The brat was sure that his friend was not sick because he had been the one who had made up that excuse for him, and he could easily guess the real reason why the top student was missing: it was his fault.
Sho didn’t want to meet him.
And this was quite upsetting.
Because after the initial shock, now the brat was fully intentioned to talk with his friend, to give him some explanations… he wanted to bring things back to normal, as soon as possible!
…if only Sho hadn’t switched off his mobile phone!
After their “unfortunate meeting” he had tried to call him several times during that very same afternoon, in the evening, at night… And later on he had tried every day, but he never managed to get in contact with him.
Useless to say, this feeling of powerlessness was something that Ninomiya couldn’t bear.
He was pissed, because he had never had serious fights with Sakurai due to his friend’s good nature, so he really didn’t know how to deal with him.
It’s not that he was confident to resolve the whole matter just with a phone call or a single chat, but he didn’t want to let much time pass before talking with him back again.
He didn’t want Sho to think about the recent happenings over and over all by himself… he didn’t want him to come to a conclusion on his own.
But given that the top student was clearly avoiding him not coming to school, he couldn’t help but admit that things were far more complicated than he had originally presumed.
He could have gone to his house, but at the same time he couldn’t.
Surely, it would have been a concrete chance to talk with him, but there was a high probability to make things worse.
First of all, it wasn’t absolutely a good idea to barge into his house and corner him against his will (not again! Since this was actually the last thing he had done to him right before their “fight”…)
Secondly, he wasn’t really sure that his friend was spending his days at home. There was a chance that he was just skipping lessons and spending all the day wandering around… it would have been a first for him, but it was indeed a possibility to take into consideration.
And as he was quite an expert when it came to plotting pranks and subterfuges, he knew very well that he couldn’t risk going to his house and meeting his parents without planning a common version of the facts… He recalled how strict was Sho’s father, especially when he was angry, and he decided that it wouldn’t have been a safe choice to get him suspicious. He had already messed up things quite well; there was no need to add EVEN THIS.
Not having any other choice, he finally decided to give Sho some time, to not press him…
He just sent a last message, asking him to show up when he would have been willing to talk … and then he waited.
For the longest time in his entire life, he patiently waited.
Not getting in touch with his old buddy for so long was a first for him as well… indeed, it made him realize how important he was.
Because he was actually missing him.
He was used to hang out with Sakurai every single day since their childhood: during lessons and outside school as well… they would usually have fun together, spending their time on their own or together with other people, wandering around the city or staying into their houses, pretending to study together when they actually would always end out playing those videogames that Nino loved so much before, and now got him bothered every time he would look at them.
It was really strange to be without Sho all of a sudden.
Of course, he had a lot of other friends and classmates with whom he could spend his time… but it wasn’t the same thing.
No one of them was able to understand him and read into his thoughts just with a single glance… and it was hard as well to find someone who could stand his jokes without getting annoyed. He didn’t know if his sense of humour had become heavier like so his mood, or if -more simply- no one had Sho’s patience.
Maybe both the hypothesis were true.
Moreover, the more the days passed, the more he needed to confide in someone, to give vent to his feelings… but he had sadly to admit that he didn’t trust anyone other than Sho.
As he had said before to Aiba, his private matters were his, and his only. He didn’t like to share them with just anyone. And without the only one person he was used to talk with, he was feeling lost indeed.
He was feeling like he was going to burst.
And he had to spend a whole week in this condition before his old friend came back to school once again.
--- --- ---
When Sakurai appeared into the classroom the following Monday, the brat couldn’t help but feel relieved.
He was sure that now he would have had his chance to make up for his mistakes, at last…
Unfortunately, the pleasant feeling didn’t last long.
Because when he looked carefully at his friend’s face, Nino immediately regretted not to have tried to go his house the previous week: apparently, he had been sick for real.
And he was still in an awful condition.
He looked pale and weak, as if he had even lost some weight… but the one thing that was most noticeable were those shadows under his eyes… and while looking at them Nino couldn’t help but wonder if Sho had been crying for the whole time.
Surely, he was now trying his best by smiling at every single classmate who was gathering around him, but his eyes still looked sad and melancholy.
The brat had never expected to see him in such a bad state.
“Nothing serious” Nino heard him mumbling “Gastric flu, you know… I’m sorry if I made you worry!”
Someone had probably asked him why he had been absent for a whole week, since Mr. Top Student wasn’t the type of person who would ever skip lesson…
“…but you’ve never answered our calls for the whole week!” someone else was expressing Ninomiya’s thoughts.
Of course, he hadn’t been the only one who had tried to get in contact with the top student.
And he hadn’t been the only one who failed in that.
Indeed, he was the most curious among them as he really wanted to know his reply… and even if he hadn’t approached him like all the other classmates did, from his own seat he still managed to hear his embarrassed answer: “I… had some problems with my mobile phone, I’m really sorry”
Well, at least THIS was surely a lie.
That low crack in his voice, that uncertainty while ending the sentence, that embarrassment due to being dishonest with someone who was actually worried for him… Nino didn’t know if other people had noticed it as well, but he had.
Sho was lying and he was the one who made him lie.
And he felt sorry for that.
Ninomiya kept staring at his friend for the whole time before the lessons started, without ever looking away… he wanted to understand what was going to happen, because he wasn’t sure about it anymore.
In a corner of his mind, the brat was struggling against the temptation to stand up and going towards Sakurai in order to tell him all those things that had been swirling in his head during that last week… but at the same time, he didn’t dare to.
He was feeling numb, as if he couldn’t move at all… as if he couldn’t help but wait for him to make the first move.
He had spent a whole week craving for meeting him, sure that when the moment would have come, he would have known perfectly what to do and what to say.
But he had been wrong.
Because seeing his friend in that pitiful condition made him realize Sho’s frailness. They had been together for a long time, but during all those years he had never been seriously afraid of hurting him. Actually, Nino had always been aware of being a real brat, but he had always been confident that his best friend was more than able to handle him…
Sadly, now he wasn’t sure about it anymore.
He didn’t know if he himself was sensitive enough to deal with such a frail Sho-chan.
And when the top student finally headed towards his own seat as the lessons were going to start, the brat didn’t realize of being actually holding his breath in expectation.
He followed him with his gaze while he walked slowly between the desks… until Sakurai silently sat down.
Ignoring him completely, even though Nino’s seat was right behind his own.
Without talking to him and avoiding his gaze as well.
And in that moment, Nino realized that something had broken inside Sho.
Between them.
After a long *never-ending* week he was finally back together with his old buddy, but things were far from being back to normal.
--- --- ---
Ninomiya bore patiently that awkward situation for the whole day, not trying to talk with Sakurai nor approaching him in order not to force him and avoiding any embarrassing situation… but at the end of the lessons he was tired of it already.
And when the top student stood up from his desk and exited the classroom without saying a single word, the brat stood up as well and chased him outside.
No way in hell he was leaving things as they were, without even trying to fix them up.
“Sho-chan… please wait! I need to talk to you!” He shouted behind his back, when he had almost caught him up.
Sakurai immediately froze in his tracks when he heard Nino’s voice but he didn’t turn around, still giving him his back.
“But I don’t need it. Please, leave me alone”
His voice was cracking a bit, yet it sounded decisive. And from where he was standing, Nino could notice that his hands were clenched into a fist.
He was still angry.
“I haven’t had a chance to explain myself yet…” insisted the brat, now a little more nervous. It was getting hard already. “Please… at least let me…”
“Let you WHAT?” interrupted Sho, turning suddenly towards him and revealing his teary expression “Don’t say that you hadn’t had any chance! You had plenty of chances to be honest with me! You could have told me what was going on BEFORE I discovered it by myself… it’s useless revealing everything right now, you know?”
“You’re right about that… but I wasn’t expecting you to discover it in that way, really!” Nino’s throat was getting dry, as it was particularly difficult for him to find out the right words to say.
“And what was I supposed to do?” growled back the top student, now seriously indignant “Have you forgotten already that you made me skip lessons that day? We were about to spend the whole afternoon together, it could have been a great chance for you to tell me everything… but you choose to manipulate me, to play with me and then abandon me without any explanation… THAT was the right moment for you to talk, not now. Now it’s too late already.”
“But… I didn’t know what had happened yet, and… I needed to talk to Aiba in order to understand why he went that far with you, and…” the brat tried to explain himself once again
“Aiba had just followed your STUPID plan! Did you really need to know every single detail of what had happened between us?”
A single tear fell down Sakurai’s cheek but he quickly brushed it away, as if it was burning on his skin.
And his voice became somehow weak for an instant, but he kept on talking: “Can you even imagine how bad I felt when I realized that the both of you were toying with my feelings? Aiba had initially played the nice and sensitive guy in order to trick me… and then he did what I could have expected from any stranger guy met in a gay-bar for fucking pals!”
He raised his hands in exasperation, showing all his rage.
He was obviously angry because he had been deceived… Nino could understand that.
“…and you… I thought you were a friend of mine, for god’s sake! Let aside the fact that you have planned a disgusting game… evil and bastard as much as you are… but haven’t you thought for a single instant that MAYBE I would have preferred you to keep talking with me, instead of running immediately to Aiba right after my confession?”
The brat was now staring at his friend in astonishment: he wasn’t expecting this reaction… He realized that there were still a lot of things that he hadn’t taken into consideration.
“Maybe I’m really, really stupid in thinking this…” continued Sho in a disillusioned tone “but I’ve always considered you as the only one person whom I could confide in… even though you would have made fun of me soon after, I didn’t care… I trusted you nonetheless. But it’s quite obvious that it’s not the same for you. There was no need to take care of me, since a useless and plain guy like me can easily be replaced, am I right?”
Those words were incredibly harsh, but there were no doubts that he was really thinking what he was saying.
“So… please stop acting like you are so displeased, because you aren’t. This is just your pride that gets in the way, that makes you feel betrayed… but for once, please, ignore it. And let me go. I don’t want a friend like you anymore.”
It was hard for Nino to listen at those words.
And at the same time, it was hard to believe that Sho-chan was the one who was actually telling them.
He had never seen his friend so serious and determined. And for the first time, he couldn't find the words to talk back at him... so Sakurai simply left, leaving him alone...
--- --- ---
T___T
It’s so saaad…
× Author: yukichan_tb
× Length: 2467 words - Chaptered
× Characters: Ninomiya Kazunari + Sakurai Sho + Masaki Aiba
× Rating: R
× Genre: friendship, romance, angst - angst - and more angst!
× Disclaimer: I don’t own anyone except the plot… Actually I don’t own even the plot, since they are acting of their own free will XD
× Summary: Nino and Sho are long-time friends, even if “friends” is a concept that cannot really describe their relationship because… Basically Nino uses Sho for his own purposes and Sho can’t help but surrender to him. Things start to change when Aiba Masaki butts in and gets Sho’s attention as well… but everything was planned by the bratty Nino… How will Sho react now?
× Previous Chapters: Prologue, Chapter One, Chapter Two, Chapter Three, Chapter Four, Chapter Five, Chapter Six, Chapter Seven
~Chapter eight~
--- --- ---
The next day Sakurai was absent from school. As well as the day after, and the one after that…
Apparently, he had informed someone that his sickness had worsened and he got the permission not to attend lessons.
Given that he had spent the whole Monday afternoon in infirmary, no one was distrustful on that version of the facts… except for Nino.
The brat was sure that his friend was not sick because he had been the one who had made up that excuse for him, and he could easily guess the real reason why the top student was missing: it was his fault.
Sho didn’t want to meet him.
And this was quite upsetting.
Because after the initial shock, now the brat was fully intentioned to talk with his friend, to give him some explanations… he wanted to bring things back to normal, as soon as possible!
…if only Sho hadn’t switched off his mobile phone!
After their “unfortunate meeting” he had tried to call him several times during that very same afternoon, in the evening, at night… And later on he had tried every day, but he never managed to get in contact with him.
Useless to say, this feeling of powerlessness was something that Ninomiya couldn’t bear.
He was pissed, because he had never had serious fights with Sakurai due to his friend’s good nature, so he really didn’t know how to deal with him.
It’s not that he was confident to resolve the whole matter just with a phone call or a single chat, but he didn’t want to let much time pass before talking with him back again.
He didn’t want Sho to think about the recent happenings over and over all by himself… he didn’t want him to come to a conclusion on his own.
But given that the top student was clearly avoiding him not coming to school, he couldn’t help but admit that things were far more complicated than he had originally presumed.
He could have gone to his house, but at the same time he couldn’t.
Surely, it would have been a concrete chance to talk with him, but there was a high probability to make things worse.
First of all, it wasn’t absolutely a good idea to barge into his house and corner him against his will (not again! Since this was actually the last thing he had done to him right before their “fight”…)
Secondly, he wasn’t really sure that his friend was spending his days at home. There was a chance that he was just skipping lessons and spending all the day wandering around… it would have been a first for him, but it was indeed a possibility to take into consideration.
And as he was quite an expert when it came to plotting pranks and subterfuges, he knew very well that he couldn’t risk going to his house and meeting his parents without planning a common version of the facts… He recalled how strict was Sho’s father, especially when he was angry, and he decided that it wouldn’t have been a safe choice to get him suspicious. He had already messed up things quite well; there was no need to add EVEN THIS.
Not having any other choice, he finally decided to give Sho some time, to not press him…
He just sent a last message, asking him to show up when he would have been willing to talk … and then he waited.
For the longest time in his entire life, he patiently waited.
Not getting in touch with his old buddy for so long was a first for him as well… indeed, it made him realize how important he was.
Because he was actually missing him.
He was used to hang out with Sakurai every single day since their childhood: during lessons and outside school as well… they would usually have fun together, spending their time on their own or together with other people, wandering around the city or staying into their houses, pretending to study together when they actually would always end out playing those videogames that Nino loved so much before, and now got him bothered every time he would look at them.
It was really strange to be without Sho all of a sudden.
Of course, he had a lot of other friends and classmates with whom he could spend his time… but it wasn’t the same thing.
No one of them was able to understand him and read into his thoughts just with a single glance… and it was hard as well to find someone who could stand his jokes without getting annoyed. He didn’t know if his sense of humour had become heavier like so his mood, or if -more simply- no one had Sho’s patience.
Maybe both the hypothesis were true.
Moreover, the more the days passed, the more he needed to confide in someone, to give vent to his feelings… but he had sadly to admit that he didn’t trust anyone other than Sho.
As he had said before to Aiba, his private matters were his, and his only. He didn’t like to share them with just anyone. And without the only one person he was used to talk with, he was feeling lost indeed.
He was feeling like he was going to burst.
And he had to spend a whole week in this condition before his old friend came back to school once again.
--- --- ---
When Sakurai appeared into the classroom the following Monday, the brat couldn’t help but feel relieved.
He was sure that now he would have had his chance to make up for his mistakes, at last…
Unfortunately, the pleasant feeling didn’t last long.
Because when he looked carefully at his friend’s face, Nino immediately regretted not to have tried to go his house the previous week: apparently, he had been sick for real.
And he was still in an awful condition.
He looked pale and weak, as if he had even lost some weight… but the one thing that was most noticeable were those shadows under his eyes… and while looking at them Nino couldn’t help but wonder if Sho had been crying for the whole time.
Surely, he was now trying his best by smiling at every single classmate who was gathering around him, but his eyes still looked sad and melancholy.
The brat had never expected to see him in such a bad state.
“Nothing serious” Nino heard him mumbling “Gastric flu, you know… I’m sorry if I made you worry!”
Someone had probably asked him why he had been absent for a whole week, since Mr. Top Student wasn’t the type of person who would ever skip lesson…
“…but you’ve never answered our calls for the whole week!” someone else was expressing Ninomiya’s thoughts.
Of course, he hadn’t been the only one who had tried to get in contact with the top student.
And he hadn’t been the only one who failed in that.
Indeed, he was the most curious among them as he really wanted to know his reply… and even if he hadn’t approached him like all the other classmates did, from his own seat he still managed to hear his embarrassed answer: “I… had some problems with my mobile phone, I’m really sorry”
Well, at least THIS was surely a lie.
That low crack in his voice, that uncertainty while ending the sentence, that embarrassment due to being dishonest with someone who was actually worried for him… Nino didn’t know if other people had noticed it as well, but he had.
Sho was lying and he was the one who made him lie.
And he felt sorry for that.
Ninomiya kept staring at his friend for the whole time before the lessons started, without ever looking away… he wanted to understand what was going to happen, because he wasn’t sure about it anymore.
In a corner of his mind, the brat was struggling against the temptation to stand up and going towards Sakurai in order to tell him all those things that had been swirling in his head during that last week… but at the same time, he didn’t dare to.
He was feeling numb, as if he couldn’t move at all… as if he couldn’t help but wait for him to make the first move.
He had spent a whole week craving for meeting him, sure that when the moment would have come, he would have known perfectly what to do and what to say.
But he had been wrong.
Because seeing his friend in that pitiful condition made him realize Sho’s frailness. They had been together for a long time, but during all those years he had never been seriously afraid of hurting him. Actually, Nino had always been aware of being a real brat, but he had always been confident that his best friend was more than able to handle him…
Sadly, now he wasn’t sure about it anymore.
He didn’t know if he himself was sensitive enough to deal with such a frail Sho-chan.
And when the top student finally headed towards his own seat as the lessons were going to start, the brat didn’t realize of being actually holding his breath in expectation.
He followed him with his gaze while he walked slowly between the desks… until Sakurai silently sat down.
Ignoring him completely, even though Nino’s seat was right behind his own.
Without talking to him and avoiding his gaze as well.
And in that moment, Nino realized that something had broken inside Sho.
Between them.
After a long *never-ending* week he was finally back together with his old buddy, but things were far from being back to normal.
--- --- ---
Ninomiya bore patiently that awkward situation for the whole day, not trying to talk with Sakurai nor approaching him in order not to force him and avoiding any embarrassing situation… but at the end of the lessons he was tired of it already.
And when the top student stood up from his desk and exited the classroom without saying a single word, the brat stood up as well and chased him outside.
No way in hell he was leaving things as they were, without even trying to fix them up.
“Sho-chan… please wait! I need to talk to you!” He shouted behind his back, when he had almost caught him up.
Sakurai immediately froze in his tracks when he heard Nino’s voice but he didn’t turn around, still giving him his back.
“But I don’t need it. Please, leave me alone”
His voice was cracking a bit, yet it sounded decisive. And from where he was standing, Nino could notice that his hands were clenched into a fist.
He was still angry.
“I haven’t had a chance to explain myself yet…” insisted the brat, now a little more nervous. It was getting hard already. “Please… at least let me…”
“Let you WHAT?” interrupted Sho, turning suddenly towards him and revealing his teary expression “Don’t say that you hadn’t had any chance! You had plenty of chances to be honest with me! You could have told me what was going on BEFORE I discovered it by myself… it’s useless revealing everything right now, you know?”
“You’re right about that… but I wasn’t expecting you to discover it in that way, really!” Nino’s throat was getting dry, as it was particularly difficult for him to find out the right words to say.
“And what was I supposed to do?” growled back the top student, now seriously indignant “Have you forgotten already that you made me skip lessons that day? We were about to spend the whole afternoon together, it could have been a great chance for you to tell me everything… but you choose to manipulate me, to play with me and then abandon me without any explanation… THAT was the right moment for you to talk, not now. Now it’s too late already.”
“But… I didn’t know what had happened yet, and… I needed to talk to Aiba in order to understand why he went that far with you, and…” the brat tried to explain himself once again
“Aiba had just followed your STUPID plan! Did you really need to know every single detail of what had happened between us?”
A single tear fell down Sakurai’s cheek but he quickly brushed it away, as if it was burning on his skin.
And his voice became somehow weak for an instant, but he kept on talking: “Can you even imagine how bad I felt when I realized that the both of you were toying with my feelings? Aiba had initially played the nice and sensitive guy in order to trick me… and then he did what I could have expected from any stranger guy met in a gay-bar for fucking pals!”
He raised his hands in exasperation, showing all his rage.
He was obviously angry because he had been deceived… Nino could understand that.
“…and you… I thought you were a friend of mine, for god’s sake! Let aside the fact that you have planned a disgusting game… evil and bastard as much as you are… but haven’t you thought for a single instant that MAYBE I would have preferred you to keep talking with me, instead of running immediately to Aiba right after my confession?”
The brat was now staring at his friend in astonishment: he wasn’t expecting this reaction… He realized that there were still a lot of things that he hadn’t taken into consideration.
“Maybe I’m really, really stupid in thinking this…” continued Sho in a disillusioned tone “but I’ve always considered you as the only one person whom I could confide in… even though you would have made fun of me soon after, I didn’t care… I trusted you nonetheless. But it’s quite obvious that it’s not the same for you. There was no need to take care of me, since a useless and plain guy like me can easily be replaced, am I right?”
Those words were incredibly harsh, but there were no doubts that he was really thinking what he was saying.
“So… please stop acting like you are so displeased, because you aren’t. This is just your pride that gets in the way, that makes you feel betrayed… but for once, please, ignore it. And let me go. I don’t want a friend like you anymore.”
It was hard for Nino to listen at those words.
And at the same time, it was hard to believe that Sho-chan was the one who was actually telling them.
He had never seen his friend so serious and determined. And for the first time, he couldn't find the words to talk back at him... so Sakurai simply left, leaving him alone...
--- --- ---
T___T
It’s so saaad…