I can see what you're getting at, but I'm afraid I can't look at it as optimistically as you can! Haha. I don't like feeling insignificant... because I don't see a point in existing if I don't make a difference somehow, I suppose. It has never occurred to me to just escape like that, because of financial constraints and well, I don't really want to leave certain people behind... But the strange thing is that I constantly think of leaving. I want to live somewhere else, and the thought of that adventure is enough to excite me. The thing I fear most, though, is the plane ride. I don't know if that aircraft will be big or crowded enough with strangers to contain my grief and loneliness. Am I even making sense here? I don't know anymore.
It is funny how I always consider myself pessimistic but then, in contrast with other people's feelings, I find out how awfully optimistic I really am. Imagine something like this: the airport is a home to many things. Lots of people work there and there's always someone waiting for someone else. There's hope, there's love. There are goodbyes and hellos and there is also the will lonely people have to realize their own insignificant and yet still plunge forward in life.
I am washed over by this feeling of nostalgia when I read your words. It seems like they reach into my chest and touch my feelings directly, telling me I'm losing something, but you dwell too much on what you lose! Let's see what you've got. Are memories precious enough?
I definitely understand what you mean. I guess I just choose not to see it because even the happy moments in the airport are watched and recorded by third parties. And with international threats like terrorism, I find it kind of hard to work at the airport and feel at home if I'm supposed to be constantly vigilant, you know? But I suppose this is just my personal bias (I've been becoming shortsighted that way). Also, most of my happy memories of reunion occur outside of the airport, past the formalities of immigration... The airport is just another halfway house to check into because I have to, I guess.
Really? I dwell too much on loss? I never really noticed that, haha. Umm, memories... I don't quite know how to answer that. I suppose one thing I really love about the airport is that I can pretty much act however I want, since everyone is a stranger anyway. I can be a brat, a freak, a snob... and it doesn't matter because nobody knows me, and nobody's going to stay long enough to figure me out.
Hahaha, nope! Is it a live action film? What's it about?
That's an interesting perspective, and I suppose it holds very true for people like you and me. Soon enough, we'll be the ones regularly sent off and picked up, instead of being the ones always waiting.
Wow, sounds interesting! I'll look it up when I have free time, haha.
Somehow I can't really imagine you staying in Singapore... Like, I totally see you somewhere in Europe, somewhere quaint and moderately exotic, experiencing awesome things that go beyond just academics. I don't know, I just see you being cool somewhere awesome. Then again, I kind of strongly feel that Singapore is boring anyway so I'm biased hehehe.
Really really gorgeous photography. These don't look digital - are they taken with a film camera?
I haven't been to the airport for a long time - the last time I went to send someone off last year was because that person made me feel very obligated to, and I went with someone else too. Less emotional circumstances, it seems. orz But I'm familiar with your feelings. I have a huge fear of being swallowed whole by the world and of being too insignificant - do you bear similar fears?
Aww, thank you. Yup! I took them with a Superheadz Wide Lens Series toy camera. Superheadz just recently launched its Usagi toy cameras range - I think the camel-coloured one would be perfect for you, hehe.
I do... I have this paranoid fear that I'll be forgotten when I die. I'm so scared of never living to my full potential, or dying with regrets. I don't want to be remembered for those things. I'm having difficulty coming to terms with these feelings because I'm not really the type of person who likes being in the limelight. It's uncharacteristic of me, and it's also kind of stupid. I mean, I'm just one of six billion people, right? I'm not as special as I think I am, after all.
WOAH * A * it's no wonder the effect is so gorgeous. I had no idea about Superheadz at all until I looked it up after reading your comment. alksdjf I'm seriously interested now hehe. How much are one of these cameras? Is the film and developing of photos expensive? o A o (intrigued)
(hugs) These fears are not unfounded! Everyone wants to be special so that we'll be remembered, but I guess we all have to come to terms to the fact that it's not actually possible. Sometimes I might even go as far to say that I want to indispensable to some extent. orz It sounds quite ridiculous and I know I would never want to bear such heavy responsibilities nor am I really one to seek that much attention, but sometimes I think that anyway. I think your fear isn't all bad though - the fact that you want to live your potential and not just keep it as mere potential will get you far. I believe in you bb ♥
This is the camera that got me interested in photography :) My family has been shoving that idea in my face for years, but it was only through this camera that I started to see what beauty can only be captured behind the lens. The cheapest the camera goes for locally is $45. As for film and developing, it really depends where you go and what you buy! For example, I usually get my Kodak film in a 6 for $12 pack at some relatively unknown place haha. Kodak is usually $4 a roll. I buy better, more expensive individual rolls like Solaris or expired film at a lomography place called Triple D at Burlington Square. They range from $5-8 a roll. I also only develop my photos at Triple D - $8 a roll and they automatically scan it to CD for me. If you go to a normal Kodak or Fujifilm, they charge 30 cents per photo to print, and scanning to CD is an additional $14
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I am washed over by this feeling of nostalgia when I read your words. It seems like they reach into my chest and touch my feelings directly, telling me I'm losing something, but you dwell too much on what you lose! Let's see what you've got. Are memories precious enough?
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Really? I dwell too much on loss? I never really noticed that, haha. Umm, memories... I don't quite know how to answer that. I suppose one thing I really love about the airport is that I can pretty much act however I want, since everyone is a stranger anyway. I can be a brat, a freak, a snob... and it doesn't matter because nobody knows me, and nobody's going to stay long enough to figure me out.
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That's an interesting perspective, and I suppose it holds very true for people like you and me. Soon enough, we'll be the ones regularly sent off and picked up, instead of being the ones always waiting.
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(The comment has been removed)
Somehow I can't really imagine you staying in Singapore... Like, I totally see you somewhere in Europe, somewhere quaint and moderately exotic, experiencing awesome things that go beyond just academics. I don't know, I just see you being cool somewhere awesome. Then again, I kind of strongly feel that Singapore is boring anyway so I'm biased hehehe.
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I haven't been to the airport for a long time - the last time I went to send someone off last year was because that person made me feel very obligated to, and I went with someone else too. Less emotional circumstances, it seems. orz But I'm familiar with your feelings. I have a huge fear of being swallowed whole by the world and of being too insignificant - do you bear similar fears?
Reply
I do... I have this paranoid fear that I'll be forgotten when I die. I'm so scared of never living to my full potential, or dying with regrets. I don't want to be remembered for those things. I'm having difficulty coming to terms with these feelings because I'm not really the type of person who likes being in the limelight. It's uncharacteristic of me, and it's also kind of stupid. I mean, I'm just one of six billion people, right? I'm not as special as I think I am, after all.
Reply
(hugs) These fears are not unfounded! Everyone wants to be special so that we'll be remembered, but I guess we all have to come to terms to the fact that it's not actually possible. Sometimes I might even go as far to say that I want to indispensable to some extent. orz It sounds quite ridiculous and I know I would never want to bear such heavy responsibilities nor am I really one to seek that much attention, but sometimes I think that anyway. I think your fear isn't all bad though - the fact that you want to live your potential and not just keep it as mere potential will get you far. I believe in you bb ♥
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